by Tana Stone
Twenty-Two
Even though Bexli could usually walk for ages without tiring, her legs grew weary as she and Caro followed Rukken and Tommel through the mountains. Probably because I ran like crazy across the desert and then did battle with a giant sand scorpion, she thought.
“You’re sure you’re feeling okay, Bex?” Caro asked, glancing at her.
“I’m pregnant, not injured.” Bexli refused to let her friend know that the pregnancy was already weakening her. She hated that she couldn’t shift, and that exhaustion was creeping up on her. She’d never needed a lot of sleep, but she suspected she could have curled up on the rock and been snoring within seconds.
Keeping her eyes trained on the broad backs of the aliens in front of them, Bexli frowned. She’d heard about Lycithian pregnancies before, but she’d never paid much attention to the whispering because she’d never had any intention of having children. Now she wished she’d listened. Aside from losing the ability to shift, having heightened senses of smell and hearing, and apparently being overcome with the overwhelming desires to both screw and nap, she wasn’t sure exactly what other surprises she had to look forward to.
She stifled a yawn at the same time she thought about how much she wanted to run her tongue down Tommel’s stomach ridges. He glanced back as if he’d sensed her thoughts, but she kept her expression placid. When he turned back around, she cursed inwardly.
“So, what’s going on there?” Caro asked, her voice soft enough that the barbarians couldn’t hear, as she waved a hand toward Tommel.
“What do you mean?”
Caro choked back a laugh. “I’m not blind, Bex. You two obviously weren’t a one-time thing.”
Bexli swung her head toward her friend. “Why do you say that?”
“Flings don’t look at each other like that. If this planet had anything close to a garden hose, I’d need to turn it on you both.”
Bexli furrowed her brow. She did not know what the pilot meant, but then again, she was frequently confused by the Earth things Caro rambled on about. “I don’t know what a garden hose is, but I promise you there is nothing serious between me and Tommel.”
“Aside from the baby, you mean.”
Bexli blew out a breath. “Aside from that.”
Caro put a hand on her friend’s arm. “Listen, Bex. I know you’ve never been one for relationships. I get it. I know things were rough for you, and being forced to work in a pleasure house would have made me pretty uninterested in guys, too. But not all of them are like that.”
Bexli tensed, but then glanced over at Caro. Of anyone on the ship, the pilot probably knew her the best. She’d been the one to welcome her onto the crew with open arms, and had never judged her for her questionable past. Bexli always suspected that Caro’s murky past with the Valox resistance had given her a lot of empathy. And neither of them had ever expressed interest in dating, or the random hook-ups that some of their crew mates enjoyed. They’d both been content with their jobs, and the crew had been all the family and friends they’d needed.
But now Caro had fallen for one of the sand-dwelling barbarians. She’d clearly opened herself up to Rukken, and she seemed happier than Bexli had ever seen her. But Rukken wasn’t Tommel, and Rukken hadn’t walked away from Caro like Tommel had walked away from her.
Bexli shook her head. “You don’t understand. Tommel doesn’t want me. The only reason he’s so obsessed with guarding me is because of the baby.”
“I’m sure it’s more than that.”
Tears pricked the back of Bexli’s eyes, reminding her again that the pregnancy hormones were messing with her emotions. “Trust me. If I hadn’t gotten knocked up, he would have no problem walking away from me and never looking back.”
Caro squeezed her arm. “Bex—“
Bexli shook off her arm. “It’s fine. It’s not like I wanted anything more, either.” She glared at his broad, ridged back. “But I hate feeling like I have a permanent babysitter.”
They walked in silence for a while, their shadows lengthening as the suns sank lower in the sky. Bexli didn’t need to be empathic to know that Caro was upset and worried about her. Her friend had never been great at hiding her emotions, and she hadn’t deserved being snapped at.
Bexli put an arm around her shoulders. “I am sorry if I seem upset. It’s not you. I know you’re only trying to help.”
“No, it’s my fault. You’re pregnant, and I shouldn’t be telling you how to feel or what to do.” Caro leaned her head on Bexli’s shoulder. “I don’t know what you’re going through, but you know you can always count on me, right? Whatever you need, I’m here for you. Even if that means trying to find pickles and ice cream for you.”
Bexli wrinkled her nose. “Pickles and ice cream?”
“Humans are known to get weird food cravings when they’re pregnant. Is that a Lycithian thing, too?”
“No idea.” Bexli laughed. “I hope not. I have enough cravings to deal with right now. I would not want to add pickles and ice cream to the list of things I want but cannot have.”
“What other cravings do you…?” Caro slapped a hand over her mouth and her eyes flicked to Tommel then to Bexli.
Bexli shook her head, but her cheeks betrayed her by warming. “Like I said, it’s a craving I can’t give in to.”
Caro’s eyebrows shot skyward. “Why not?” she whispered. “He’s gorgeous and built and has that sexy older-guy vibe going on. Talk about ‘who’s your daddy?’”
Bexli gaped at her friend, who was now miming spanking, glancing quickly at the Dothveks and hoping they hadn’t heard. “Caro!”
Caro’s cheeks mottled pink, and she stopped spanking the air. “Sorry. I think silver foxes are really hot. If I wasn’t so crazy about Rukken…”
Bexli swatted her arm. “I think the thin atmosphere on this planet has gotten to you. You never used to talk like this.”
Caro grinned at her. “I know. Rukken’s unleashed my inner bad girl.”
“Oh, no.” Bexli wagged a finger at the pilot. “We already have Holly and Tori. The bounty-hunter babes do not need any more bad girls. Someone needs to be levelheaded.”
Caro’s wicked smile dropped from her face. “You’re right. I’m trying to make you feel better, not talk about how hot your baby daddy is.” She squared her shoulders. “No more sex talk.”
“Good, because sex is the last thing either of us need to be thinking about. We need to focus on getting our crew mates away from the Cresteks and stealing back our new ship.”
Caro let out a long breath. “I still don’t know how the four of us are supposed to face off against a bunch of aliens with blasters.”
Bexli didn’t respond. She’d had the same thoughts. They were going up against the enemy right outside their city. There would undoubtably be even more soldiers to take out, and they only had two Dothveks. She and Caro weren’t great at hand-to-hand combat, and she couldn’t even shift anymore.
She unconsciously touched a hand to her flat stomach. As much as she was frustrated by all the ways the pregnancy was changing her, she didn’t want the baby to get hurt. She felt a strange compulsion to protect the unborn child, even though she couldn’t see it or feel it. But she also knew she couldn’t abandon her crew. They were her family.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she barely noticed the two Dothvek warriors stop and assume fighting stances, as she almost walked into Tommel. He reached a long arm behind him without looking back, touching her as if to assure himself that she was still there.
Once they’d all stilled, Bexli heard the sound of soft footsteps. She held her breath and kept her eyes locked on the bend in the mountain pass. Whoever it was, it sounded like only one set of feet, so that was good. Rukken and Tommel could easily take on one alien warrior.
When she saw the small head appear, and her eyes dropped to the green puff of fur in the boy’s arms, she couldn’t help clapping her hands. “Pog!”
Twenty-Three
; Tommel relaxed his stance when he saw the young boy with sandy hair flopping over his forehead, and Rukken did the same.
“Whew.” The boy’s gaze moved past the Dothveks and rested on the women behind. “Am I glad I found you.” He set the tiny ball of green fur on the ground, and it scampered over to Bexli. “I feel like I’ve been walking forever.”
Caro stepped forward, pushing between Tommel and Rukken. “Rynn, what are you doing out here? I thought you were on the ship.”
Bexli scooped up Pog and buried her face in his fur for a moment before looking up. “I know Pog was in my room on the ship. How did you both get out?”
Rynn smoothed his long bangs over to one side and puffed out his chest. “The exhaust vents. We’re both small enough to fit through.”
Caro’s mouth fell open. “You crawled through the exhaust vents of the ship?”
He nodded. “I was the only one who could fit. Well, me and Pog.” He waved a hand at the glurkin. “Your friends told me to find you, and Tori told me to take Pog.”
“Figures,” Bexli muttered, then shook her head. “So, everyone’s okay?”
Rynn nodded. “As far as I know.”
Tommel studied the boy, noticing him lick his lips as he spoke. “Here. You need to drink. You are tired.” He pulled a waterskin off his waistband and handed it to the boy.
“Thanks.” Rynn took it with a grateful smile and took a few urgent swallows.
Tommel noticed Bexli watching him, but he didn’t meet her gaze. He’d sensed her confusion and frustration for most of the time they’d been walking, and he did not want to add to her inner turmoil. Keeping his distance was the best thing for both of them, so he kept his eyes locked on the boy. “Tell us what happened.”
Rynn dragged the back of his hand across his damp mouth. “You don’t know? Those guys with the robes ran on the ship and took it.”
Rukken let out a breath. “We know that. What happened after that?”
“Was anyone hurt?” Tommel asked, working to keep his voice steady, even as he sensed Rukken’s impatience. “
Rynn shook his head. “No one got shot. They rounded up everyone and took all the weapons then locked folks up in rooms.”
“And the ship?” Tommel asked. “Is it far from here?”
Another quick shake. “Not too far.”
Rukken shifted from one foot to the other. “Is it outside the Crestek city gates?”
“Are the Cresteks the bad guys?” Rynn took another swig of water. “Then, yeah, I think so. I saw some big stone walls behind me as I was running away from the ship.”
“As we suspected,” Rukken said to Tommel in a furtive voice.
Tommel felt the same rush he knew Rukken did. His fingers tingled in anticipation of closing in on the enemy, and it was hard not to break into a run.
“We should not wait any longer.” Rukken’s hand hovered over his blade. “We are almost there.”
“Whoa,” Caro said, before either Dothvek could speak. “Can’t you see how tired Rynn is? We need to let him rest a little before we do anything.”
Tommel looked at the boy’s flushed face. “She is right. He has been running.”
Rynn’s pink cheeks deepened in color. “I’m all right, but I haven’t told you the plan yet.”
“Plan?” Bexli stepped forward. “There’s a plan?”
Caro glanced at her, and both women’s faces broke into wide grins. “Of course, there’s a plan. When has Danica not had a plan?”
Tommel motioned for the boy to sit against the rock wall and they all gathered around him. “Tell us this plan.”
Rynn pursed his lips and twisted them over to one side as he thought. Finally, he snapped his fingers. “Right. They said that I should find Bexli and tell her to change into something small—I forget what exactly—and come back into the ship through the vents with me and Pog. Once we’re in, I’ll open the ramp to the ship so the rest of you can come on while Bexli and Pog take out as many of the bad guys as they can, and let the Dothveks and women out of their rooms.”
When he’d stopped talking, he beamed at everyone. But no one was smiling back. They were all looking at Bexli.
Caro cleared her throat. “It’s okay. I’m sure we can come up with another plan that doesn’t involve Bexli.”
Tommel watched the Lycithian’s head drop as she stroked her fluffy pet. He desperately wanted to comfort her, but he sensed anger and frustration rolling off the female in waves.
“Why?” Rynn asked, glancing over at Bexli. “Isn’t that her?”
Caro cringed. “Yes, but she can’t shift right now, so we need to figure out a way to take the ship without using Bex.”
Rynn looked confused, but shrugged. “I guess I can go back on with Pog and try to do all of it myself.”
Bexli let out a loud huff of breath and looked up, her eyes glittering. “We can’t send a boy in to do all of that. He’ll get caught or…worse.”
Caro rested a hand on her friend’s knee. “I know it’s not ideal, but what else can we do? It’s not like you can help what happened. It is what it is. We need to work around it.”
Bexli jumped to her feet, letting Pog roll onto the ground with a yip. “Everything is falling apart, and it’s all my fault.” She stomped off.
Caro stood to follow her, but Tommel put out an arm. “Let me go to her.”
Caro eyed him as if she wasn’t so sure about that idea. Tommel wasn’t so sure, either, but he knew he needed to try. After all, it was his fault that Bexli felt that way she did. He was the reason she was pregnant and unable to help her friends. He couldn’t fix it, but he needed to talk to her.
Rukken put an arm around Caro. “Let him try.”
Caro twitched one shoulder. “You’re brave, I’ll give you that.”
Tommel did not think that was encouraging, but he turned and followed where Bexli had disappeared down the path. After walking around a curve, he saw her slumped on the ground, her knees pulled into her chest and her arms wrapped around them.
Crouching down in front of her, he touched a hand to her arm. “I am sorry.”
“Why?” She raised her head to look at him, her eyes red. “You’re not the one who’s useless.”
His stomach tightened as he felt her anguish. “You are far from useless.”
She let out a strangled laugh. “Really? I can’t shift. I can’t help my friends. I can’t do my job.”
“That is not all you are.”
She glared at him. “You don’t even know me.”
Her words stung, but he brushed them off. “I know that you are more than your ability to shift.”
“You don’t understand. For so long, being Lycithian was a curse. It was the reason I was looked at in a certain way. It was the reason men licked their lips when they knew what I was. It was why I was taken into bondage on a pleasure planet. But then I joined Danica’s crew, and it became a good thing. It was the reason we could get so many bounties. For the first time, I could be proud of what I was. And now all that’s gone.”
“It is not gone. You will get it back, and so much more.”
Her face contorted in pain. “I don’t want more. I want things to go back to the way they were—before we crashed on your planet and met any of you.”
“You do not want—?”
“Oh, don’t worry. I’m going to have the baby.” She laughed, but there was no warmth in it. “But if I’m being totally honest, I wish none of it had ever happened. If you and I had never slept together then I wouldn’t be pregnant and powerless to help my crew. If there was no baby, I wouldn’t be different. I wouldn’t be powerless. I’d be me.” She took a shaky breath. “But all that is gone because I made one stupid mistake.”
He pulled his hands away, recoiling from her words as his gut hardened into a cold ball. He was the stupid mistake.
Tommel stood. She was right. He had been stupid. Stupid to think she could feel anything but regret and resentment about him.
Twen
ty-Four
Bexli watched as Tommel stiffened above her. Shit. That had come out all wrong. “I didn’t mean that—”
“It is fine.” He cut her off. “You are right. It was wrong of me to come into your tent and act on my feelings.”
She blew out a breath. This was going from bad to worse. She’d been upset and lashed out, and now she’d hurt his feelings. It wasn’t like he’d forced her to do anything. Before she could say that, he spoke again.
“I can never change what happened, and I cannot change what will be. I will be the child’s father, but that is all.” His gaze shifted to hers, but the usual heat was gone. “We should not be anything else to each other.”
It didn’t take Bexli long to figure out what he meant. No more sex. “Fine. If that’s what you want.”
He looked away. “It is I who cannot give you what you want.”
“What do you think I want?”
His gaze flicked behind them to where Rukken and Caro’s voices drifted through the air. “What your friends have found with my Dothvek clansmen. I cannot be that for you.”
Her throat tightened. If anyone had asked her, Bexli never would have said that she was looking for love or even a relationship, but suddenly knowing that Tommel would never be that—that he did not even want to try—made her swallow hard. “Then we’ll be strictly platonic.”
He twitched, then nodded. “It is best.”
Not for the horny mom-to-be, she thought, but didn’t say anything. Tommel had been trying to distance himself from her since he stumbled out of her tent. This was just another way, although it felt more final.
He held out a hand. “We should join the others to discuss a new plan.”
Bexli ignored his outstretched arm. “I’m going to stay here a little longer. Tell Caro I’ll be there soon.”