Just a car backfiring as opposed to what?
A bullet?
A bomb?
Had there been an attempt made on Sarah’s life at some point that the world didn’t know about? Is that why she was so reclusive and private?
No. That couldn’t be right or she’d have bodyguards.
It could be that Sarah had frozen in some sort of post-traumatic stress reaction.
It gutted him to think she’d been exposed to anything that left her so vulnerable. He realised he was far more deeply affected by her ordeal than was warranted considering they still didn’t know each other well.
‘Which floor are you on?’ he asked when they were in the elevator.
‘Fourteenth.’
He frowned. ‘Do you have a first aid kit?’
She shook her head.
‘Then we need to go to my suite because I do.’ Still holding her with one arm, he fished his room card out of his trouser pocket with the other hand, swiped it through the sensor and pressed the button to the top floor where he, Max and Luca had booked out all three penthouse suites. ‘I always carry a first aid kit when I’m travelling with Katie.’
Sarah nestled more closely against his chest and didn’t speak again.
When they arrived, he carried her from the elevator and put her down on her feet while he opened the door. But the second she went to take a step into the room, her legs wobbled. He swung her back into his arms, shouldered the door open and strode through the suite and into his bedroom.
‘I have the kit in my bathroom,’ he explained.
He was in the process of bending to lower her onto a chair in the corner of his room when her arms tightened around his neck.
Hell.
‘Sarah, you’re okay.’
She nodded but didn’t loosen her hold.
‘You need to sit down so I can look at the cuts to your legs and make sure there’s no glass lodged in your skin.’
She continued to cling tightly as though she was in danger of drowning and he was her life buoy.
Aw hell. With one swift movement, he sat down and cradled her on his lap. One arm still around her, he used his other hand to smooth down her hair and rocked her as he’d done when he’d soothed Katie as a child. ‘You’re quite safe.’
She kept hugging him for a few minutes before she finally took a deep breath. The movement made him acutely aware of the softness of her breasts against his chest and he had to close his mind to thoughts about that luscious part of her anatomy.
She’s in shock. She’s only looking for comfort, not for anything else.
When she relaxed and lowered her arms from around his neck he saw her cheeks fire red. ‘I’m so sorry. I’ve made an absolute idiot of myself.’
‘You haven’t and there’s no need to apologise.’ And, as much as he enjoyed holding her close to him, he had to see to her cuts. ‘I’m going to have you sit down by yourself now and I’ll see if there’s any glass in your legs.’
‘Okay.’
It pleased him that the word sounded like a grudging agreement.
I could go on holding you all night, Sarah. If the circumstances were different I would.
When she was settled comfortably, he turned on a lamp and hauled another chair over. ‘Put your feet up on this. I’ll go and get the first aid kit.’
By the time he returned, the red of her cheeks and been replaced by an unhealthy pallor. After he’d seen to the injury he’d get her a strong drink.
‘Right. Let’s have a look.’
‘You’ve done this before,’ she remarked as Nick removed a tiny shard of glass.
‘More with splinters than glass but it’s definitely part and parcel of fatherhood.’ And for the second time that night he felt a pull in his soul—the odd feeling that he wanted to begin the fatherhood journey all over again—that he wanted a brood of children around him to fill his life with laughter and even with disputes he had to adjudicate. ‘What about you? Do you hope to be a mother one day?’ His attention flicked away from her legs for a moment and he hung on her response.
Geez! She looked paler than she had before.
‘Maybe one day.’
Her words didn’t sound convincing but perhaps that was because she was still in shock.
Nick concentrated on removing one other sliver of glass, then used disinfectant on the cuts. When he’d finished, he let his gaze settle on her troubled face. ‘Want to talk about what happened out there?’
She shook her head.
Although she mightn’t know it, she needed to talk about it and he wanted to be the one she could speak to.
He screwed the lid back on the bottle of disinfectant. ‘I had an uncle who fought in the Gulf War. When he returned from his tour of duty, any loud noise caused him to react in a similar fashion.’
Her head lowered and her lustrous curtain of blonde hair fell forward to curtain her face.
Taking one of her hands in his he asked, ‘Do you have PTSD, Sarah?’
Her head snapped back up and she looked at him with wide eyes. ‘You know about post-traumatic stress disorder?’
Shit. He must’ve read the situation correctly. ‘I understand quite a lot about it because of my uncle.’ He squeezed her hand.
‘Please don’t tell anyone about this.’ Her plea was urgent.
Oh sweetheart. ‘Sarah, it’s nothing for you to be ashamed of.’
Seeing her eyes film with tears tore at his gut but he admired the way she raised her chin and looked at him directly as she explained, ‘Sudden loud noises give me flashbacks to … a trauma I experienced when I was a child. It’s not something I want to talk about.’
His heart cramped. It must’ve been one hell of a trauma. ‘Perhaps it’s something you need to talk about—something you should talk about if you’re going to overcome the problem. Are you at least seeing a counsellor?’
‘Yes. Not regularly but whenever I’m in London.’
‘Good.’ He held her gaze. ‘I’m no expert but if you ever want to talk about it with me, I’ll be there to listen.’
Her features softened and he hoped that meant her stress was easing.
‘Did your uncle recover?’
‘After a lot of counselling he has strategies he uses to get him through his triggers. I’m happy to say he’s living a very active life with his family and friends.’ He looked back at her leg. ‘Does it feel as though there’s any more glass?’
‘No. Thank you for looking after me and for … for being so understanding.’ She waved her hand in a small, self-conscious gesture. ‘You’re a nice person, Nick.’
Nice?
Hell. The word almost made him wince.
He sent her what was probably a lopsided grin. ‘Promise you won’t tell anyone? I don’t want any executives I deal with to think they can make mincemeat of me.’
His words earned him a beautiful smile.
Keeping a tight rein on his desire to take her in his arms and kiss her, he stood and tried to put things back on a more formal footing. ‘I know you’re due to go out to the reef tomorrow and the saltwater will probably do your leg good, but if you’re not feeling up to it we can delay the filming.’
‘I’ll be fine and an ankle-length wetsuit will cover the cuts until they’re fully healed.’
He definitely didn’t want to picture her with a wetsuit clinging to her body. ‘They’re superficial and they’ll be healed in no time.’
She moved forward in the chair to stand and he held out his hand to help her up. As she got to her feet she stumbled and his arms went around her automatically.
Their gazes locked for a few seconds before her eyes focused on his mouth. Her lips parted and her bottom lip trembled.
God. He wanted Sarah so desperately.
It was becoming increasingly difficult to rein in his desire because he wanted badly to claim her as his lover.
He wanted to kiss her more than he wanted to take his next breath.
This can’t happen.
&
nbsp; Nick pulled back before he gave in to his need. ‘You’re still in shock, Sarah. You should sit down again and I’ll get you a drink.’
He couldn’t kiss her, let alone give in to the flood of need that stirred in his groin. She still looked dazed and she’d confirmed she was suffering from some form of PTSD. Only a first-class bastard would kiss her in her current state. It would be taking advantage of her emotional vulnerability and he wouldn’t do it.
‘Would you like a cup of tea or something stronger?’
He went to step further away from her but she reached out and caught his hand. ‘Please don’t leave me just yet.’
Dear Lord, he wasn’t a saint. ‘I’m only going out into the main salon to get you a drink. You can come with me. I’ll keep you steady on your feet.’
Sarah didn’t budge.
‘Nick, I know we hardly know each other but I feel like there’s an invisible thread pulling me to you.’
It wasn’t a thread. It was a damned cable strong enough to support a car full of skiers up a mountain. But as much as he wanted to yield to the pull of attraction, Jocelyn had warned him Sarah wasn’t the sort of woman who’d embark on a no-strings attached affair.
But is a no-strings attached affair all you want?
No. It isn’t.
Nick wasn’t thinking straight.
Being in the company of his closest friends and their wives and seeing how loving their relationships were had reinforced his own need for the same—for someone he could love and who’d love him. He wanted a woman by his side. A woman to share life with and to navigate through all its ups and downs together. A woman to love.
Moreover, those host of paternal feelings that had assailed him as he’d been part of the family atmosphere at dinner tonight had him off-balance. Seeing Max tempting Jackson to eat his vegetables and watching the little lad fall asleep on Jenna’s lap had made him yearn to have his own toddler to love. Even the bickering between Isabella and Alessandro had made Nick want the noisy routine of family life.
But wasn’t it idiocy for his brain to have made the huge and unlikely jump to visualising Sarah having his baby?
She was the only single woman there. That’s why you projected your feelings on to her.
Was that the truth?
Sarah wasn’t simply some random single woman who’d joined the group. His physical attraction was as real as his admiration and respect for her. He wanted to explore the possibility of a relationship between them but he hadn’t known her long enough to analyse his thoughts or work through his feelings.
Careful Nick.
There were reasons he’d steered away from relationships.
Yes, there was part of his heart that would always belong to Mandy, but there was also the guilt he carried knowing if he’d been a better husband he might’ve realised Mandy was dealing with a problem that she took great trouble to hide from him. If he’d known, she might still be alive. He would still be married and Katie would’ve grown up with her mother. With that on his conscience did he deserve another marriage?
‘Nick? Are you still with me?’ Sarah asked.
Looking at this gorgeous woman, who clearly had some problems she was working through, part of Nick was determined he shouldn’t get involved with her in case he failed her like he’d failed Mandy. Yet part of him also wanted to support her through this.
‘Yeah, I’m with you, Sarah.’
His internal battle continued to rage. If he embarked on a relationship with Sarah this cord of attraction could end up very tangled. But it was impossible to ignore.
He was aware of the soft rise and fall of her breasts with every breath she took—aware of the stark vulnerability in her eyes and the pulse that beat at the base of her neck.
The fingers of one of her hands reached up to trace the slight roughness of his jaw while her focus strayed again to his lips. He steeled himself to resist this magnetic pull of attraction as her other hand moved to rest on his shoulders.
‘I want to kiss you.’ Her words were unapologetically forthright.
Inside, he groaned with frustration.
It was hard to be a gentleman when he wanted so badly to kiss her too. ‘Sarah, you’re probably still in a haze after the anxiety attack. It’s security you’re craving.’
‘You’re wrong, Nick. I’m madly attracted to you and you make me feel safe enough to tell you that.’
Hell! How was he supposed to keep resisting her when her eyes looked so clear and her voice was so resolute?
‘We have to work together.’ He mentioned it as a reminder to himself as much as to her. But as he kept looking into her gorgeous eyes, it was as though he wasn’t in control—as though this encounter had already been choreographed and they were both puppets whose strings were being manipulated by an unseen hand.
‘You don’t want to kiss me?’ she pushed.
Nick groaned and he felt the blood rush to his groin. I do want to kiss you. Madly. Desperately. Endlessly. But it isn’t that simple. ‘Sarah, I—’
Speech was impossible as she traced the tip of her finger over his bottom lip. It was all he could do to stop from closing his lips around it and drawing it into his mouth.
It should be simple. He was a man and she was a woman and they desired each other. Yet somehow it was too complex to contemplate. There were too many layers to his feelings for Sarah—almost too much attraction and still too many unknowns.
Then there was Katie to consider … Sarah’s work for both NOCO and Jocelyn … He needed to keep reciting all those factors like a litany to maintain his control.
* * *
Sarah’s heart kicked up into a gallop as she stared at Nick’s sexy mouth, tracing over it with her fingertip and imagining his lips pressed against hers.
They’d be firm.
Purposeful.
Inherently experienced.
The heat that’d been pooling low down in her body flamed through her and burnt her cheeks. She wanted to kiss him so frantically that she was unable to stop her body from straining towards him.
Placing her hands up around his neck, she urged his head down.
A mere brush of her lips against his and she felt the little spark of electricity ignite between them like a living, tangible entity. The whole atmosphere around them crackled. It flowed through them, between them, energising her and feeding her urgent need for physical satisfaction.
He closed his eyes but he didn’t respond to the electric charges. In fact, it looked as though he gritted his teeth because a betraying muscle tic appeared in his cheek.
Had she misread the chemistry between them or was he fighting it?
Was her brain still too muddled from her shock to be thinking clearly?
‘Nick?’
When he opened his eyes, he looked conflicted. He didn’t speak but lifted his hand to run his fingers softly down her cheek.
Now it was her eyelids that fluttered closed as she lost herself in the sensation of his tactile voyage of discovery.
His touch was gentle yet sure.
A tentative exploration, yet a promise …
His feather-light contact continued across the bridge of her nose. When he traced the outline of her mouth she could’ve sworn the soft flesh of her lips grew plumper. Her lips tingled with the need for firmer contact.
If he wanted to kiss her, what was holding him back?
‘Sarah, as strongly as I desire you—’
He desired her! Elation raced through her.
‘—I’m not certain this is a good idea.’
No! Sarah wanted to be held by this man who wove such potent magic on her senses that her body was pulled to the heat emanating from his. There was an intrinsic part of her that felt a humming sense of rightness being with him.
When his fingers settled under her chin, the tip of her tongue darted out to moisten her lips and she had to swallow to ease the building tension in her throat. Her vocal cords had been rendered utterly incapable of forming a sound.
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‘Look at me, Sarah.’
She did as he bade and didn’t bother trying to hide the physical yearning from her expression.
‘Jocelyn told me you aren’t one to indulge in casual affairs.’
Inside she cringed. His words were a potent reminder that she’d never indulged in any affair, casual or otherwise.
Before she could respond he spoke again. ‘Apart from my years of marriage, I don’t have a good track record with relationships.’ His lips flattened a little before he said, ‘While I’m not into one-night stands and I don’t deserve the playboy reputation the press has labelled me with, my relationships have only lasted anywhere from a few weeks to a couple of months.’
‘You’re still in love with Mandy.’ Her voice was completely flat.
His eyes shut tightly. When he opened them he told her, ‘Mandy has been dead for most of Katie’s life. While we shared a youthful love together, I’m not still “in love” with her. There’s a part of me that wants to move on—to remarry. That part of me grows bigger with every year that passes.’
Gosh. The stark honesty of his admission blew her away.
Could I be the one who can make you happy? she wondered.
Whoa, Sarah. How can you have forgotten for a second why it is that you haven’t revealed yourself fully to any man?
How can you have forgotten the stakes here? Any misstep will expose you for the fraud that you are.
It was a timely warning.
If her secret was exposed, her whole world would unravel around her.
This fabulous man would reject her and it could spell the end of her modelling career. If that happened, Ryan and all the charities she supported would suffer in the fallout.
Is that true?
Nick is a fabulous man. Are you certain he’d reject you?
Surely even if he did, your secret would be safe with him. He wouldn’t broadcast anything to the world.
He was too honourable to betray her.
Take a chance on Nick.
Trust him.
‘I want you to make love to me right now more than I think I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life,’ she confessed in a very small voice.
She watched as his molars seemed to clench.
‘I’m wondering whether that’s your shock talking.’
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