I laughed flatly. “Oh yeah, I was totally fine being raped and hit. It was the best years of my life,” I spit out.
“You didn’t say anything. You didn’t tell anyone. How was I supposed to know something was happening?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know, Wrecker.”
I hadn’t told anyone. I had acted like it wasn’t happening. For almost one year, Shane had raped me two to three times a week until he went away to college. The last four months I lived in foster care, I lived in fear of the weekends he would come home.
That all ended the day Shane’s mom got a phone call. That phone call had changed my life.
Shane had died.
He had been on his way home and a semi had blown a stop light.
They had told Shane’s mom he died on impact, and I couldn’t help but feel joy in knowing the man who had tormented me for years had died instantly.
“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you find a way to get to me?” he demanded.
I shook my head and felt the sickness start to climb up my throat. “Tell you? How was I supposed to tell you when I had no fucking clue where the hell you were?”
“I was here. You knew I wouldn’t leave Weston,” he insisted.
“Right. I should have known you would leave me but never leave Weston.” I rolled my eyes and slammed my bottle of water down on the counter. “You are not going to stand here and somehow make me feel like I’m the wrong one in all of this. You have the chance to keep our family together and instead, you chose this!” I spun in a slow circle.
“It was the wrong choice, Raven. I can’t go back and change it.”
“So I’m just supposed to accept it? Accept the fact my brother would rather be with his new family and not his actual family.”
“You’re here now, dammit. I’m trying to fix it now,” he insisted.
I wiped my nose with the back of my hand. “Fix? This is you fixing it? You act like I’m a burden and make me feel like I’m just a nuisance.”
“Well, your fucking attitude doesn’t really fucking make things easier.”
I placed a hand on my chest. “I’m sorry my attitude if making things hard for you. I’m sorry that you can’t lord over me like all of the guys in this club. I’m sorry that I will call you on your shit.”
I needed to get out of here. I couldn’t stand here and have Wrecker blame this on me. I knew I wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around, but he had to realize he was a big part in why.
I pushed my way past Wrecker. I was leaving.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” he thundered.
I grabbed Cora’s keys off the counter. I had my phone in my pocket, and I ran for the door.
“Raven,” he called.
I was out the door and hitting the unlock button on the keys before he moved. I swung the car door open and jammed the key into the ignition. The car roared to life, and I slammed it into reverse. Wrecker was in my rearview mirror when I pulled onto the road.
He was going to come after me. I knew that he wasn’t going to just let me leave, but I needed some space to breath. I needed to not be in the clubhouse that was his. I needed to be away from him to think.
I just needed to think.
I passed the city limit sign for Weston, and thankfully, Wrecker wasn’t behind me.
For a second, I was alone and I could finally fall apart.
*
Chapter Sixteen
Clash
“What the hell do you mean she’s gone?”
Wrecker ran his fingers through his hair and paced the length of Raven’s room. “I was just trying to talk to her. I’ve been wanting to talk to her for two weeks, and I can never get to her.”
“And this is why I didn’t want you to get to her. She wasn’t ready to fucking listen to you.”
I grabbed my pants off the floor and pulled them on.
Wrecker had knocked on the door and had thankfully given me enough time to pull my underwear on before he busted in. I had been surprised as hell when I had woken up and Raven wasn’t in bed with me.
Now, I knew the reason why she was gone.
“We have to find her.”
I pulled my shirt on and sat down on the bed to pull my socks and boots on. “We aren’t doing anything. You’re the whole fucking reason why she keeps running.” I had no idea where the hell Raven would go. She barely knew Weston. “What was she wearing when she left?”
I finished lacing up my boots and grabbed my phone off her desk.
“Shirt and shorts. She didn’t even have shoes on.”
For Christ’s sake.
“She took Cora’s car?”
He nodded. “I was going to chase after her but I didn’t want to push her away even more.”
He had already done a bang up job at that.
“I’m out of here.”
“I'm coming with you,” he insisted.
I spun around and got in his face. “You’re not doing anything. You’re the fucking reason why Raven is the way she is. You really think that you chasing her down and dragging her back to the clubhouse is going to help?”
“What else am I supposed to do?” he yelled.
“Act like her fucking brother and not the President of a goddamn MC!” I roared. “She’s your fucking family and you treat some stranger off the street better than her.”
I looked around the room for my keys. I didn’t have time to stand around and argue with Wrecker.
Raven was right. He wasn’t going to see her side of things. At least, not now. I spotted my keys under a pile of her papers.
“What are you going to do?” he asked.
I shoved my keys in my pocket and grabbed my cut. “Find Raven.”
“And bring her back here.”
I shook my head. “Not making any promises, brother. This isn’t about you and what you want.”
I stormed out of the room and sent off a message to Raven.
She replied before I even threw my leg over my bike.
*
Chapter Seventeen
Raven
“Can I get you anything else?”
I shook my head. “I’m good.”
The waitress looked at me for a beat then nodded. “I’ll be over there if you need anything else.”
I had driven until I saw the diner Clash and I had been to before. I was still in Weston, but at least I wasn’t trapped in the clubhouse. “Thank you.”
The waitress was giving off some serious motherly vibes.
“Can I get a coffee and a menu?” Clash stood behind the waitress and slid into the booth across from me.
“Oh, you were waiting for someone.”
I slid my menu to Clash and sat back in the booth. “Yup.”
She filled Clash’s cup, and he looked the menu over.
He rattled off his order than looked at me. “You order anything?” he asked me.
I bit my lip and shook my head. While I had been smart enough to grab Cora’s keys to make my getaway, I had failed to take any money with me.
“Double what I ordered and keep the coffee coming.” He handed the waitress the menu, and she nodded.
I waited ‘til the waitress was gone before I relaxed. “Pretty sure she was about to sit down with me before you came. Thank you for saving me.”
Clash chuckled and took a sip of his coffee. “Glad to be of service, beautiful.”
“I’m assuming we need to talk.”
“If that’s what you want to do.”
I tilted my head to the side. “I get a choice?”
“You always have a choice, beautiful. We could talk about what happened between you and Wrecker, or the stock market.”
I wrinkled my nose. “I know absolutely nothing about the stock market.”
“Thank God,” Clash laughed. “Neither do I. Not exactly on the life path for knowing the stock market.”
I laid my head back on the booth and sighed. “I don’t know how to han
dle Wrecker, Clash.”
“Most don’t.”
“So what am I supposed to do?”
“What did you do before he asked you to help with The Ultra?”
I laughed and shook my head. “Worked as a bartender.”
“That’s it?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yup. I was most definitely a loner. The only reason I became friends with Mayra was because of working for The Ultra.” A smile spread across my lips. “I don’t know why but people don’t really approach me.”
“Maybe it’s the giant chip on your shoulder and the nose ring?”
I touched the small hoop in my nose. “I like my nose ring.”
“I do too, beautiful. I just think it might add to the vibe you put off.”
I loved my nose ring. I had gotten it the day I turned eighteen and had never taken it out. How could he say people didn’t talk to me because of it? Next, he was going to tell me my hair and tattoos was part of the problem, too.
“What vibe are you talking about?” I asked.
“When I first met you, I thought you were going to rip my balls off and shove them down my throat.”
“You didn’t even talk to me, Clash. Why would you think that?”
He chuckled and shook his head. “I didn’t talk to you because I thought you were going to rip my balls off and shove them down my throat.”
I rolled my eyes. “Can we move onto something else to talk about? Perhaps talking about the stock market?” I suggested sweetly.
“Or we can get back to Wrecker. You don’t need to forgive him, Raven, but you need to move past it.”
“Move past the fact he only thought about himself and not me?”
He nodded. “Yeah. That was ten years ago, and a shit-ton has happened since then.”
“And how do I move on without forgiving him?”
I didn’t want to be pissed off at Wrecker for the rest of my life, but I didn’t know how to not be mad. He preached about brotherhood and having everyone’s back, but he didn’t have mine. He never had. Our parents died, and he just took off.
“Try to see it from his side.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but Clash silenced me with a look.
“Just see it from his side. That doesn’t mean you have to agree with his side. There are always two sides to the story, Raven.”
I sighed. “Fine. I’ll try to see it from his side. Then what?”
“Then you get on with your life and make sure shit like that never happens again. You’ve gotten through so much, Raven, but you still have all of it weighing you down.” He looked around and leaned close. “I do have one question.”
“Oh, Lord. Hit me with it,” I muttered.
“The guy. What happened to him? Did anything ever happen to him?”
“He’s dead, Clash.”
His eyes connected with mine. “Dead?”
“Yes, and before you start to think I did it, I didn’t,” I laughed. “He was on his way home from college and got into a car accident. He died on impact.”
“Now that’s what I call karma.” He cleared his throat. “Though, I gotta admit I was kind of hoping to be the one to rain karma down on him.”
I fanned my face and swooned. “And they say chivalry is dead.”
“You’re such a smartass, Raven. I think you need your ass paddled.”
This time, I really did swoon, and my cheeks heated. “Is that a threat or a promise?”
“You’ll have to just wait and find out.”
The waitress brought our breakfast over, and we ate in silence while I tried to focus on my food and not what he had said.
Clash pushed his finished plate away. “So what are you thinking you’re going to do now? You already committed grand theft auto today, and it’s only eight thirty in the morning. We’ve got the whole day in front of us.”
“I had the keys. I did not commit grand theft auto.” I finished my bacon and licked my fingers. “And, for the record, it wouldn’t be grand theft auto. I did not take that car by force and sell it.”
“The fact you know that makes me wonder why you would know that.”
I eyed him knowingly. “Like you didn’t know that.”
“I plead the fifth, beautiful. Only a fool brags about the stupid things he’s done.”
Clash signaled for the check, and I suddenly realized I had no idea what we were going to do. I had a pile of work, but I didn’t want to go back to the clubhouse.
“What are we going to do?”
“First, we’re gonna take Cora’s car back to her.”
“And then?”
The waitress dropped off the check, and Clash dropped some money on top of it.
“Then, I know you probably got some work to do so there are a couple of options on how you can get that done.”
I took a sip of my water and wondered if we could just stay at the diner all day. “I’m listening.”
“We go back to the clubhouse and you work there.”
I wrinkled my nose. I normally wasn't one to run away from my problems, but I just wasn’t ready to talk to Wrecker. “Option two, please.”
A devilish grin spread across his lips. “We rent a room from the Stargazer Inn and see how much work you can get done there.”
“Work? Are we talking about the same kind of work here? I think the only place I’ll be able to actually work is at the library or a busy coffee shop.”
In those two places, at least I would be able to keep my hands off Clash.
Clash leaned forward and grabbed my hand. “But what would be the fun in that?”
I rolled my eyes. “As much as I love your way of thinking, I do need to make some money to help pay for the house I just bought.”
“Would one day of fun really hurt?” His thumb glided over the smooth skin of my palm.
Would one day really matter? I was basically caught up on everything, but I hated the idea of getting behind.
“Let’s make a deal.”
“I’m listening, beautiful.”
“We take the car back, we pack a bag, and go to the library.”
His brow furrowed. “You had me until the library.”
I laughed and pulled my hand from his. “You let me work for a few hours at the library and then we can see if there are any vacancies at the Stargazer.”
“We both get what we want?”
I nodded, slipped out of the booth, and winked at him over my shoulder. “I’ll meet you back at the clubhouse, warden.”
I heard him groan at the name, and I couldn’t help but smile.
Clash may have me in his bed, but I was still going to keep him on his toes.
*
Chapter Eighteen
Clash
Bored.
So fucking bored.
We had been at the public library for five hours, and I was about to lose my mind.
I had flashbacks to grade school when we had walked through the doors. The first hour was okay. Raven talked to me, and we joked back and forth about all the trouble we got into in school.
Now we were entering the sixth hour of being here and something was going to have to happen to keep me awake.
Raven and I were the only ones here besides the two librarians who hadn’t left the front desk the whole time we had been here. Apparently, the Weston library was not a happening place on a Thursday afternoon.
When we had gotten back to the clubhouse Wrecker’s bike was gone, and the only member around was Freak. Raven had been relieved we were able to grab everything we needed and get out of there without talking to Wrecker.
I reminded her she was eventually going to have to clear the air with him, but she wasn’t interested in worrying about that.
“Raven,” I whispered.
She looked up from her computer screen and blinks slowly. “Uh, yeah?”
An idea had just popped into my head, and I was too bored to realize it might be a bad idea. “I’m gonna go look around.”
“�
�Kay.” She turned her eyes back to her screen, and I shoved my phone into my pocket.
I did a couple laps of the place trying to find the most secluded area and wound up in the historical section in the back corner three rows away from where Raven and I had been sitting.
Help.
I stared at my phone ‘til Raven replied.
Uh, what?
Need your help. Head to the back corner.
I waited five minutes before I heard footsteps approaching.
“Clash?” she whispered.
I peeked around the corner of the row I was in and waved Raven to me.
“What are you doing?” she laughed.
I pulled her into my arms and pressed her against the stack of books. “Needed a break,” I whispered.
“You’re crazy,” she giggled.
I pressed a finger to her lips and shook my head. “Shh, beautiful. No one can hear us.”
“What are you thinking?” she asked softly.
“I was sitting there trying to remember what your lips felt like wrapped around my dick but I couldn’t quite remember.”
She rolled her eyes. “It happened last night. If you can’t remember then we better stop and get some ginkgo biloba for your memory.”
“No fucking clue what that is. Is it like Viagra?”
She slapped me on the chest and laughed. “No,” she hissed.
“Good. I don’t need that shit yet. All I need is you and I’m good to go.” My lips drifted over her neck and placed random kisses.
“What are you doing, Clash?”
“I told you.”
She wrapped her arms around my neck and tipped her head to the side to give me better access. “So you want me to give you head in the library?”
I pressed my lips to her ear. “When you say it like that, I feel like I’m back in high school trying to get to second base.”
“I think you have a lot more game than you did back in high school.”
“You’re probably right. There’s no way in hell I would have been able to get a hot piece of ass like yours back then.”
Fallen Lords MC: Books 4-6 Page 42