“You know how becoming a medical professional is, right?” He smirks with a cock of his head, then his mood shifts from playful to serious. “Kindra, why did you run? Why didn’t you stick around?”
I take a deep breath and look at him. This isn’t the easiest conversation to have, and this was what I’ve been dreading since the decision to come back into town happened.
“I lost the baby, Ro. I think somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought that if I were to of tell you that, that you would have made me leave too. I couldn’t let someone tell me to leave twice. It was hard enough the first time hearing that from my dad. So, I left, I did what I assumed would happen.”
“That makes no sense.” I shake my head.
“To me, it made perfect sense at the time. And I think I told myself that is what would have happened so many times over the years, that I believed it was what would have happened.”
“And now looking back?”
“I was stupid. I shouldn’t have left. I should have faced the music.”
“I agree with you there. But why let all this time go by saying nothing? Do you understand that I’ve been wondering all this time where you were and about my child?”
“You could have come to me.”
“I didn’t know where you were. No one here had talked to you. I was out of commission for a while and had no idea where to start. But I’ve always wondered. I figured that if you didn’t communicate, that you just didn’t want to be found. Not to mention, if your father would have found out that I went searching for you, my ass would have been kicked.”
“If I could take my actions back, I would.”
“Why did it take eleven years?” he asks.
“Guilt? Embarrassment? I honestly have no good reason. I know that it hurt you, not knowing, and for that I’m sorry.”
“I’m seriously trying to understand it. You kept something so huge from me.”
“I know. Please know, I’m eternally sorry. I was reeling from the accident, from the loss, and then from my father. I acted on impulse and I’m just so sorry. I don’t know how to fix it, any of it. And I don’t want ‘I’m sorry’ to not have a meaning by chanting it.”
“I know. And I didn’t ask you to dinner to get you to feel bad. I just want to clear the air; I want a new beginning. We work together, we have this past, and well then there’s the other night. I thought that this would be okay, but I just don’t know right now.” He’s emotional as he shakes his head.
“I know, I’m sorry.” I whisper.
“No, I’m sorry, but I think I need more time. I thought that I could manage this tonight, but I think I need a little more time. You’ve had years of all this knowledge, I’ve had a few weeks.”
“I understand.” I reply, looking down at the table.
“Let’s just enjoy dinner, and talk medicine,” he says.
“I can do that.” I offer him a smile.
After our orders are taken, he looks at me and asks, “so, what’s the craziest thing you’ve seen in the ER?”
15
Rogan
“Come on Kindra, it’s not going to do anything if you have a hit. In fact, it’s medical grade shit and I promise you, the best that you’ll ever get.” Smiley tells her with a gleam in his eyes as we all sit around the campfire.
I have my arm slung over Kindra’s shoulder, and I’m high as fuck. I’m not entirely sure what type of weed this is, but it’s the strongest strain of shit that I’ve ever had. And I’ve smoked a lot of weed in my day. Especially the seven months since I got my girl pregnant. It’s like I’m smoking for two, or would that be three?
Fuck it, I have no idea, nor do I care. For the same amount of money that I would spend when I would buy from Smiley before, I’m pretty stoked to have a DD.
Knocking up my chick has its benefits.
Plus, even though my mom thinks that I’m a total fuck-up, she is pretty stoked that she doesn’t have to wait a million years to be a grandma, despite Mr. and Mrs. Mason’s obvious disdain for me and our unborn child.
We’re hanging out in the park, the back area where the cops don’t patrol and enjoying the fact that we just graduated yesterday.
“Medical grade shit, eh? Like doctors would prescribe it?” I hear Kindra ask. I wish she could feel the bliss that I’m experiencing right now, I’ll just have to describe it to her later.
Wait, Smiley’s handing her a joint. Eh, one hit can’t hurt anything—it surely won’t fuck up our kid.
“How you feel there, babe?” I turn my head and ask.
She coughs as a billowing of smoke escapes her sexy lips that I can’t wait to have around my cock later tonight. My hand squeezes her shoulder as I turn forward and smile at Smiley.
“Nice, babe, nice.”
I push myself up in bed and shake my head to rid myself of the dream. It was the last time that I saw Kindra. I remember that we left our spot in the back of the park, then a crunch of steel before losing consciousness and waking up in the hospital to the news that I have to have surgery and a whole lot of therapy. Which lead to a lot of other types of therapy once I heard that my girlfriend, who was carrying my child was gone.
I didn’t know if both of them were okay or not. No one would tell me anything, even The Gazette reported nothing, and that’s quite the gossip rag.
So, I pushed myself, hard. I did what I could to make it to where I am today and now Kindra is back.
And I have the details I’ve always wanted.
She lost the baby during the accident. The blunt force trauma to her stomach from the accident did her body no favors.
There was no baby.
She left because her parents told her to get out. I never went after her because I was told not to.
But what confuses me is why she took so long to come back. Why didn’t she come back all this time?
“Dude, I hear that your ex is back in town. Talk about a blast from the past.” My friend Jeff says as he sits down on the stool beside me.
I blow out a breath and nod while replying, “yeah, she works with me at the hospital, she and I are on the same shifts a few nights a week.”
“Wow, talk about fucking awkward. Did you tell Karin that your one true love came back?”
“Karin and I broke up.”
“No shit? You finally kicked barbie to the curb!” He slaps the tabletop. “Wait, is it because of the ex?”
“She just couldn’t deal with my work being important, then she kept asking me to move in together.”
“Oh no! That would have been the worst. She would have complained even more about how you were never home and all that shit if you guys were living together.” Jeff says before throwing a french fry into his mouth.
“No kidding.” I agree.
“So, Kindra,” Jeff prompts.
“What about her?”
“Where’s she been?”
“She’s been in the city.”
“No shit! How come you didn’t know that? That’s so close.”
“The city is a big place. Also, I was told by her dad to never come near her again.”
“That was when you guys were kids, you had to of looked her up on social media or something.”
“I haven’t opened my Facebook account since the day I created the account, and then I just left it up to fate. Work and school consumed me, and now here she is.”
“True. You were absolutely no fun while you were in med-school. You were a pretty shitty friend back then. You never liked to get drunk with me, hook up with chicks, or hit up the bars in the city. Oh shit, I wonder if I was ever in the same place as she was when I was bar hopping.” He says to himself. “But yeah man, you were pretty boring back then.”
“Yeah, but look at us now,” I spread my arms over the table in triumph.
“You, a fancy small-town doctor, and me a handsome and very well-dressed businessman.” Jeff brushes his hand across his chest.
“Yes, well-dressed. Isn’t that my jacket though?” I joke
with him.
“Oh, shut up. I can buy my own clothes, you asshole.” He shoves my shoulder. “So, back to Kindra. What happened there? When will Uncle Jeff get to play with the kid?”
“Well, she lost the baby.” I say with sadness in my tone as my fingertips pull at the label on my beer bottle.
“No shit? Why didn’t she ever tell you?”
“Fear, more than anything.” I say shaking my head. “I just wish that I didn’t listen to her father.”
Jeff’s hand lands on my shoulder and I swing my head to look at him.
“How are you doing with this new information?” He asks.
“At first, I wanted to punch everything in sight. I wanted to yell and scream, and I wanted to just shake her and ask her why she never got in contact. But I know that she went through a lot too. I know it wasn’t all about me, and I couldn’t blame her.”
“But man, she held that information from you for so long. You’ve thought all this time that you were a father. She just up and left you, man.”
“I know. And I forgave her for that shit a long time ago. But my head is still trying to wrap around everything.”
“Man, you’re a bigger man than I could ever be.” Jeff shakes his head. “So, does that mean that you will be taking her back?”
I think about it. From the moment that I saw her in her scrubs in my emergency room, I felt the spark ignite and I wanted her. And when we ended up in bed the other night together, I was wrong in telling her it was a mistake. It was everything I had ever wanted since the morning I woke up in that hospital bed right before I was supposed to have shoulder surgery.
“I don’t know what it means man,” I admit. “It may mean a lot of something, or it could just mean nothing. I’m not sure, just yet.”
“Well, I’ll tell you this. Maybe Kindra coming back to town is a sign for you two. I mean, you know that I don’t believe in a lot of that star-crossed lovers’ shit. But I know that you’ve always held a candle for that woman, and that will not change.”
I look over to my friend and smile.
He’s right about that.
She’s familiar and someone that I loved desperately, even after all these years.
I knew that if she came back to Sunnyville that there was no chance in hell that I could deny my feelings for her. She’s single and so am I. We’re both adults and we’re not breaking any rules. There are no rules.
We were stupid kids back then. If we didn’t get into that accident, then we would have likely fucked up the kid in one way or another, possibly not having the child it was for the best.
So, while I should hold a lot more animosity toward her, especially for just up and leaving without a word, making me wonder all these years. I’m to blame too.
I never went looking for her.
I stuck my nose inside the books and vowed to myself that I wouldn’t be the black sheep of my family. That I would amount to something. And I have.
Even so, after all these years, I wondered.
What the kid was like?
Did he or she have my strong jawline?
Did they have my dark brown hair or Kindra’s soft strawberry blond hair?
Was the kid a straight-A student, or did he or she take after Kindra and me?
I’m just to blame as she is.
We’ve met up a few times since I broke up with Karin. We would start our night out at Hooligan’s and then head back to her place. I wouldn’t stay the night and we made no promises.
My body hovers over hers as the symphony of sex echoes through the bedroom. I hitch her leg up on my hip and drive into her. Feeling the pleasure of being inside her grasps my soul while we’re grunting with each thrust to seek our orgasms.
When I feel her pussy tighten around my shaft, I feel my throat close up and squeeze my eyes shut as I come with her.
I fall to the pillow top mattress, making sure that my weight doesn’t consume her and roll over to my back.
I suck in deep breaths while she does the same. She places her hand on her chest and stares at the ceiling as I turn my head to observe her.
Her profile is sharper than it was when we were kids. She’s just as beautiful as she was when we were kids, even more so. Adulthood has been good to her.
She turns her head and we lock eyes.
“I should, um, get going.” I say to her, breaking the silence, feeling like I need to hide my thoughts.
“Yeah, totally,” she replies with sadness in her tone.
“We’re just keeping this causal, right?” I ask, hoping to see a glimpse of some sort of emotion to tell me that our messing around may mean something more to her. But is that something that I could actually give her?
“Yeah, casual.” She nods.
16
Kindra
The front door closes behind me and I’m led through the house as if I’m a stranger to the backyard. My mom is doing whatever she can to make my dad understand that I’ve changed. And tonight, is her latest attempt.
She’s tricked him into dinner and that turned out to be an awkward evening, and now she orchestrated a B-B-Q.
There were many people in the backyard, none of which that I recognized. But that’s what happens when you’re gone for over ten years. People don’t look the same way they did, and people make new friends.
My mom leads me to a group of ladies. “Girls, I want you to meet my daughter, Kindra.”
All the women look uncomfortable and I see their body language tense, then smile. We all shake hands, then silence takes over the small group.
“Why haven’t we met you until now?” One of her friends asks.
“I was living in the city, going to school.”
“Oh, school? For what, dear?” Another asks.
“I’m a nurse. I was working in the city and was recently transferred back here.” I reply with a smile.
“Oh, that’s nice. Are you working for your father?” the same woman asks.
“No ma’am. I’m working at the hospital in the ER.”
“Oh, that handsome young man works there, what’s his name? Oh yeah, Dr. Quinn.” She snaps. “I’ve purposely faked food poisoning so I could get a sneak peek at him.”
“Oh Rogan, yes. Kindra and he were high school sweethearts.” My mother says as if she was proud of that, when she hated our relationship just as much as dad did.
“Oh, you lucky girl.” The same woman fans herself. “Will he be coming today?”
“Um, no. He won’t. We’re just friends now and colleagues.”
“Oh, that’s such a shame. I sure would like to see him out of his scrubs,” one woman wiggles her eyebrows as my mother lightly hits her. “What? I’m not the only one in this town who thinks that. That boy surely grew up to be a fine specimen.”
The conversation is making me feel uncomfortable and the last thing that I want to do is listen my mother start talking about my ex like she has the hots for him. I step away from the group and venture further into the backyard.
I see my father standing with a beer in one hand while he tends to the B-B-Q and talking to a few gentlemen surrounding him.
They all look like they’re enjoying the conversation and I watch from afar, wondering if this has been how their lives have been all this time.
A tap on my shoulder takes me out of my thoughts and I turn to see Geri standing behind me with a drink extended.
“Looks like you could use this.” She smiles.
“A drink is always an excellent choice for family functions.”
“But you’re standing there stuck in your head thinking you’re not sure whether or not they’re your family or not.”
“Um, what?” I quirk an eyebrow.
“I remember what happened back then, and I clued two and two together. Even though I went away for a bit, my mom was always nosey as well. She always gave me the street updates. And your absence was quite the topic.”
“Okay,” I reply slowly.
“I’m sorry your
parents are such dicks,” she says sadly.
“It is what it is.” I shrug. “What can you do? Not every family is perfect.”
“True, but not every family acts as if they don’t have a kid.”
“Like I said, it is what it is. Hopefully, one day things can change.”
“Your mom is sure acting like you’re back in the fold, I think that’s great.” She says.
“I somewhat feel like that part is too good to be true. She’s acted so far like it was all of my father’s doing that I was pushed away.”
“Really? Why do you say that?”
“Because if she really had nothing to do with it, why wouldn’t she had come to the city. I wasn’t hiding out. One quick search on social media and she would have had all the clues as to where to find me. If she didn’t agree with my father pushing me out, she would have done something more and not just played ignorant.”
“Did that man of yours hunt you down?” Geri questions.
“No. He was told by my father that I ran and to not come after me. That if he came after me, that my father would have him arrested.”
“And he listened?”
“Unfortunately. It’s what we did best back then.”
“Listening to your parents?”
“No. Stupid ass shit.”
“And who are you?” a gruff voice asks me, as I’m sitting on one of the Adirondacks that line one side of the patio.
I swing my head in his direction and offer him a smile.
“Hi, my name is Kindra.” I hold my hand over my eyes to be able to see the person. He’s definitely one of my father’s friends, Frank, something or another.
“Kindra, and how do you know the Mason’s? I don’t believe that I’ve ever seen you around here before, and I know everyone,” he replies.
“I’m their daughter.” I reply, waiting for his reaction.
He laughs and shakes his head. “Hilarious.”
“I’m not joking, sir. I’m Kindra Mason.”
“Hey! Joe! The Masons have no kids, right?” The man looks at a gentleman sitting a few chairs away.
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