WHY in the world had MacKenzie told her aunt I was the best artist in the school?!
Especially after she had compared my artwork to poodle vomit.
And WHY had she suggested that I paint faces for the ballet class Halloween party?!
One thing was VERY clear to me. I smelled a RAT! A really big, stinky RAT!!
LITERALLY.
Inside the garbage bag was the most hideous-looking rat costume I had ever seen in my life.
And it totally reeked of sweaty armpits, stale pizza, and Lysol disinfectant spray.
I almost gagged.
I guessed that the costume was probably the mascot for some popular restaurant for kids. But it smelled so bad that customers had complained and the manager had thrown it away.
Then, after it had been buried in a Dumpster full of garbage for weeks, some high school kid found it and sold it on eBay for $3 to fund his iTunes addiction.
MacKenzie bought it and then gave it to her aunt to give to ME!
Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only person at my school who believes Satan’s kid sister has a locker right next to mine.
Anyway, I started feeling really sorry for myself.
While most students in our city would be attending their school’s Halloween dance, I was going to be stuck at the Westchester Petting Zoo wearing a stank rat costume and entertaining a bunch of bratty little ballerinas.
How DEPRESSING! I felt like crying just thinking about it.
While everyone else was having fun, I’d be having a BOO-HOO at the ZOO!! !!
My life was so PATHETIC it made me want to—
Suddenly the craziest idea popped into my head!
I tried really hard to ignore it, hoping it would just crawl back into the deep recesses of my brain or wherever crazy ideas come from.
Then I thought, Why not? What do I have to lose?
I rushed over to my computer, went online, and did a search for local Halloween haunted houses.
Lucky for me, the place I was interested in was open on Sundays until 7:00 p.m.
I called and spoke with the manager of the facility and explained my situation. He was in complete agreement with my plan as long as we secured permission from Principal Winston.
Since the future of our dance was in limbo, I placed the guy on hold and called Principal Winston’s home number, hoping that the three of us could speak together in a conference call.
I started by apologizing profusely for disturbing Principal Winston at his home on a Sunday evening and explained that I had an urgent matter to discuss.
However, it took me a while to convince him that I wasn’t a prank caller and that the manager of a haunted house really needed to speak with him ASAP regarding a school function.
Within ten minutes all the details had been hammered out and Principal Winston gave me permission to move forward with my plan.
I was ecstatic and started doing my Snoopy “happy dance.” AGAIN!!
Next I e-mailed everyone on the dance committee:
HI EVERYONE,
MEET ME IN THE LIBRARY ON
MONDAY AT 7:00 A.M.
FOR AN EMERGENCY MEETING!!
AND BE READY TO ROCK !!
NIKKI
Then I ran downstairs and raided the refrigerator.
I’m pulling an all-nighter and need every ounce of energy I can get my hands on to stay awake.
WHY?
Because the WCD Halloween dance is back on with a vengeance!
Due to the pure GENIUS of one very FIERCE chairperson.
Namely . . . ME!
My new idea for our Halloween dance is totally
KA-RAY-ZEE!
But in a really good way.
OMG! It’s almost 6:00 a.m. and our meeting is in one hour.
Gotta go shower and eat breakfast . . . !
!!
MONDAY, OCTOBER 28
I didn’t get any sleep last night, so I’m superexhausted. But I’m also deliriously HAPPY !!
We’ve plastered the ENTIRE school with our posters and flyers!
And now everyone is buzzing about the dance. Which, BTW, is being held on the premises of the biggest haunted house in the city, sponsored annually by the Westchester Zoo.
I’ve heard “Boo at the ZOO” a million times already and it’s not even third hour yet.
There are so many students wanting to help out that I had to put up another volunteer sign-up sheet and then add a second page.
Our meeting this morning went really well and turned into a big brainstorming session. And by the time it was over, thirty-nine people had shown up.
Zoey reported that the Westchester Zoo was happy to host our dance at no charge and set-up was going to be from 3:00 to 6:00 p.m., on Thursday, October 31.
Chloe reported that the art classes were making an assortment of Halloween decorations for extra credit. And the math club was donating two dozen pumpkins they planned to carve using equilateral, isosceles, and scalene triangles.
Violet reported that she still hadn’t found a band that would play for free. But since she had an iTunes collection of 7,427 songs, she could throw together a playlist and be our resident DJ.
Theo added that he and a few members of the jazz band had started a group and were willing to do a forty-five-minute set for free, just for the experience of performing before a live audience.
Jenny said that the home ec classes had agreed to bake chocolate chip cookies and cupcakes. And she had arranged for the owners of Pizza Palace to donate punch, pizzas, and assorted flavors of wing-dings with dipping sauces.
Then the science club members volunteered to help with both set-up and clean-up.
I could NOT believe everything for the dance had fallen right into place like that!
Although, I still hadn’t made up my mind about my Halloween costume.
Chloe and Zoey had made it very clear that they hated my bag of trash idea. So I decided to wear Mom’s Juliet costume.
Zoey says she is going to be Beyoncé, since she looks a lot like her. She’s going to wear an outfit from Beyoncé’s latest video and sign autographs at the dance.
Chloe says she wants to be the character Sasha Silver from her favorite book series, Canterwood Crest. It’s about these frenemies at a private riding academy, and it’s kind of like The Clique, but on horseback. Chloe plans to wear fancy riding gear with boots.
And Brandon says he’s going to be one of the Three Musketeers. How COOL is THAT?! I can’t wait to see him.
Now that I think about it, I’m really glad we’re not doing my bag of trash costume idea.
I’d be totally embarrassed to have Brandon see me wearing something so immature and silly.
BTW, I still haven’t told Chloe and Zoey yet that Brandon asked me to go to the dance.
I was going to tell them last week, but when the dance got canceled, I figured, Why bother?
Although, to be honest, I’d rather just keep it a secret for now.
I guess I’m really worried Brandon is going to change his mind for some reason.
And then I’ll be so HUMILIATED I’ll have to transfer to a new school or something.
But I know I have to tell Chloe and Zoey sooner or later.
Definitely . . . LATER!
Now that the Halloween dance is back on again, I don’t think I’m going to have time to go trick-or-treating with Brianna this year.
I’m kind of bummed out because I’ve done Halloween ever since I was a little kid, and it’s always been such a blast!
Except for that one year when Chucky Reynolds, the neighborhood bully, started snatching kids’ trick-or-treat bags.
He stole MY candy too! However, instead of getting mad, I decided to get even. And I waited until the next Halloween to do it.
Our neighbor had a vegetable garden, and I noticed there were like a zillion worms in her compost pile. So I knocked on her door and asked her real politely if I could borrow two cups of worms. She looked at me like I was crazy
, but she said yes.
Needless to say, I ran into Chucky on Halloween night. And when he demanded that I hand over my treats, I was actually kind of happy about it.
My little trick worked perfectly, and Chucky Reynolds NEVER snatched another kid’s candy again! !!
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 29
AAAAAHHHHH!!
Okay. THAT was me screaming!
WHY?
Because I can’t believe the HORRIBLE MESS I’ve gotten myself into!
AAAAAHHHHH!!
That was me screaming AGAIN!
My situation is BAD! VERY BAD!!
Right before lunch I got a note from Chloe and Zoey to meet them in the janitor’s closet.
They said they couldn’t wait to show me their new Halloween costumes.
But more than anything, I thought this would be the PERFECT time to FINALLY tell them about Brandon asking me to the dance.
Since he hadn’t canceled on me (yet, anyway!) and the dance was in only two days, I thought now would be a good time to tell my BFFs.
So this was the plan I had inside my head. . . .
After I got done raving about Zoey’s Beyoncé costume and Chloe’s Canterwood Crest riding costume, I was going to tell them about MY fabulous Juliet costume. And maybe even invite them over to see it after school today.
Then I was going to blurt out:
Chloe and Zoey were going to be so surprised that they’d start screaming and jumping up and down.
We’d end the little celebration with a group hug.
I was also pretty sure that during the dance, Chloe and Zoey would insist that I secretly meet them somewhere to give them all the juicy details.
Which meant I’d probably have to tell Brandon I needed to go to the bathroom, like, once every hour. Just to update my BFFs.
THAT was the PERFECT plan I had inside my head.
But unfortunately, things didn’t happen the way I had planned.
When I got to the janitor’s closet, I told Chloe and Zoey that I had some surprising news for them, too.
They said, “Okay! You first!”
And then I said, “No! You first!”
Then they said, “Come on! YOU go first!”
And then I said, “No way! YOU go first!”
So they finally said, “Okay! We’ll go first.”
Then they made me close my eyes.
“SURPRISE!! Here’s OUR costumes!!”
When I opened my eyes, I was expecting to see a Beyoncé outfit and a riding outfit.
But instead, I saw THREE trash bag costumes!!
The exact same trash bag costume I had suggested two weeks ago that Chloe and Zoey had called really LAME!
“Aren’t they CUTE?!” Chloe said, smiling really big and giving me jazz hands.
“Do you NOT love them?!” Zoey giggled.
“We figured that since the three of us were going to be hanging out at the dance together . . . ,” Chloe started.
“We might as well hang out as three BAGS OF TRASH!” Zoey finished.
“OMG! OMG! You—you guys SHOULDN’T have!” I stammered.
Only, I really meant it.
“Well, since you had your heart set on us being bags of trash, we didn’t want to let you down. Especially after you agreed to do that clean-up crew thing with us. And if it wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t even be having a dance,” Chloe said, tearing up a little.
“Yeah, we were being a little selfish about the whole costume thing. So after school yesterday, we met at Chloe’s and worked on them until midnight. It’s the least we can do to show you how much we appreciate having a really great BFF like you!” Zoey said, dabbing her eyes.
“Yeah, one who’ll stick by us through thick and thin, no matter what!” Chloe added.
Then Chloe and Zoey both grabbed me and we did a group hug.
Then they said, “Okay. Now what did YOU want to tell US?!”
I just stood there looking at Chloe and Zoey and feeling REALLY horrible!
I couldn’t believe they were actually giving up their cool costumes.
To dress up like LAME bags of trash?!
JUST FOR ME??!!
I didn’t deserve great friends like Chloe and Zoey!
But another part of me felt bad because I knew true friendship was supposed to be based on honesty.
Which meant I had no choice but to tell them the truth. . . .
That Brandon had asked me to the dance and I had accepted.
That I planned to mostly hang out with him all night. Not them.
That I was going to be a beautiful, romantic, and moody Juliet. NOT a bag of trash.
So I just blurted it out.
“I’m really sorry, Chloe and Zoey, but I CAN’T wear that bag of trash costume or hang out with you guys at the dance!”
At first they were confused and kind of stunned.
“What do you mean . . . ?” Zoey sputtered.
“I d-d-don’t understand . . . !” Chloe stuttered.
Then, as it sank in, their confusion turned into hurt, and they both just stared at me.
Okay, I liked Brandon a lot, and I really, really wanted to go to the dance with him.
But there was NO WAY I could do this to my two best friends.
So I smiled really big and gave them jazz hands to lighten the mood.
“Um . . . what I actually meant was . . . I can’t wear that costume or hang out with you guys . . . UNLESS we get yellow rubber gloves, crazy wigs, and sunglasses!! We gotta have those! Right?”
Chloe and Zoey looked totally relieved and smiled at me.
“OMG! You almost gave us a heart attack!” Chloe chuckled.
“Rubber gloves, wigs, and sunglasses, coming right up!” Zoey said. She opened a bag and tossed one of each to me.
“Great! Then I guess we’re ready to ROCK!” I said, smiling.
Even though deep inside I was so frustrated I felt more like crying.
“We’re going to have SO much fun!!” Zoey squealed.
“I can hardly wait!!” Chloe giggled.
So that’s why I’m now in my bedroom screaming.
AAAAAHHHHH!!
Mainly because Thursday evening could turn into a major DISASTER.
I’m supposed to wear a rat costume and hang out with the ballerina brats.
I’m supposed to wear a Juliet costume and hang out with Brandon.
AND I’m supposed to wear a bag of trash costume and hang out with Chloe and Zoey!
All at the same time!
How did I ever get myself into this MESS?!
Okay, here’s an idea. . . .
I’ll just call Brandon, Chloe, Zoey, and Mrs. Hargrove and tell them I’ll be home sick Thursday evening with a bad case of BUBONIC PLAGUE.
AAAAAHHHHH!!
!!
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 30
This morning at breakfast I was
TOTALLY
GROSSED
OUT!!
I think I’ve lost my appetite for the rest of the year.
My mom put my dad on a diet last week, and he has started doing midnight raids on the refrigerator. It’s very obvious because he forgets to put stuff back in the fridge.
Unfortunately, I always know at breakfast when he’s had cookies and milk the night before.
Hey, call me a picky eater! But, personally, I don’t like my Fruity Pebbles with sour milk chunks.
If this keeps up, I think I’ll need to have a little talk with Mom about this situation.
I’ll remind her that marriage is based on mutual love, trust, and respect, and that she didn’t marry Dad for his looks.
But, most important of all, I’ll gently bring up the fact that Dad gaining a few extra pounds won’t really matter when I DIE OF STARVATION because all the food in the house is SPOILED!
I’m just saying . . . !!
Anyway, right now I’m feeling like the most HORRIBLE person on earth !
I can’t believe I’m lying to my friends like this!
Well, if not exactly lying, I’m NOT telling them important stuff they should probably know.
I haven’t told Brandon, Chloe, or Zoey that I’m supposed to be helping out at the ballet class party during the dance.
I haven’t told Chloe and Zoey I’m supposed to be Brandon’s date to the dance.
And I haven’t told Brandon I’m supposed to be hanging out with Chloe and Zoey all night as bags of trash.
WHY?
Because I’m trying really hard to make everyone HAPPY.
The last thing I want is for Brandon, Chloe, or Zoey to be disappointed in me as a friend.
But if I tell them the truth, all three of them will probably HATE me!
Unless I secretly try to . . . ??
NO WAY!!
It will NEVER work!!
Besides, I’m NOT a lying, sneaky little RAT, like MacKenzie!
Or am I . . . ?!
!!
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 31
Okay, this is probably the longest diary entry in the entire history of the world.
But that’s because tonight was
UNBELIEVABLE!
Thank goodness we don’t have school on Friday due to parent-teacher conferences. I’m TOTALLY EXHAUSTED and barely have enough energy to write this!
Brianna’s ballet class party started at 7:00 p.m. at the petting zoo.
Lucky for me, it was only one building over from the zoo’s haunted house, which was where we were having our Boo at the Zoo dance.
Mom dropped me off fifteen minutes early so I could change into my rat costume.
The eyeholes must have been made for a taller person, because I was too short to see out of them.
The best I could do was peek through one of the rat’s enormous nostrils.
All I had to do was paint some faces and lead a few games and then I was OUTTA THERE!
Most of the girls in the ballet class were wearing cute little animal costumes because of the petting zoo theme.
My sister, Brianna, was the Easter Bunny. Actually, a PSYCHOPATHIC Easter Bunny.
She gathered all the other kids around her and then yelled at the top of her lungs, “Hi, there! I’m the real, live Easter Bunny! Since you all have been good little girls, would you each like a GIGANTIC CHOCOLATE BUNNY?!!”
Tales From a Not-So-Popular Party Girl Page 6