I put the book down and picked up my wine. Took a sip. No, I wasn’t going to call Ben. Not when I was feeling like this—so wanting and lonely. He was a good friend, and I was grateful to have him in my life. But the temptation of his rugged masculinity—his strength and steady presence—was too much of a risk. I couldn’t imagine him seeing me as anything other than a longtime friend, and I wasn’t going to allow myself to jeopardize that relationship.
I’d believed in love, once. In marriage vows and bonds that were meant to be forever. I wasn’t sure what I believed, now. I believed in the love each of my children had found. Had faith they’d all chosen partners who would love and support them always.
But me? My time had come and gone. I’d lived a life with the wrong man. And I had other things now to make me happy. Salishan was thriving. My children were happy. I had a beautiful grandson, another grandchild on the way, and certainly more to come.
I needed to learn to be content with that, no matter what my heart whispered about wanting more.
Four
Ben
I wasn’t about to admit it to anyone—especially Cooper and Chase—but I was nervous. Last night, sitting out in the dark watching my mattress burn, it had seemed so simple. Find Shannon—preferably alone—and ask her to dinner. I’d asked women on dates before, plenty of times. I may have had feelings for Shannon for a long time, but for most of those years, she’d been very unavailable. I’d pushed my feelings down—deep, deep down—and lived my life. That had included dating. I’d had relationships with several women over the years.
Of course, none of them had ever lasted, and I knew precisely why. None of them had been Shannon.
Still, I was no stranger to asking a woman out. In fact, I’d always considered myself rather good at it. But now that I was faced with asking Shannon Miles for a date, I found myself surprisingly anxious.
And busy. Cooper needed a hand out in the east vineyard, which took up most of the morning. Then Brynn called. One of the wine refrigerators in the Big House was making an odd noise. Turned out it was the compressor, but I was able to fix it. I went looking for Shannon after that, but she was busy in the lab. Spring was when she worked on her blends, mixing the grape varieties to produce different flavors. I didn’t want to interrupt.
But as the day wore on, that nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach grew. Was Chase right? Had I been in the friend-zone for too long? Was I going to need to work harder to dig my way out?
Maybe I’d jumped the gun on burning that mattress.
Shannon and I were good friends. But I saw that as a positive—the basis for a strong relationship. I just needed the chance to show her that we could be so much more.
I had more work to do in one of the back gardens, so I spent the rest of my day out there. The air was fresh, the chill of winter finally receding. Made for a good day to be outside.
By the time my workday was over, I was dirty. And sweaty. I caught a glimpse of Shannon going into the Big House, but one look at my dirt-covered clothes and filthy hands, and I decided not to follow. I wasn’t going to have the moment I asked her on our first date be marred by anything—particularly how I smelled.
Perhaps tomorrow.
The next day, I went down to Salishan full of resolve. Today was going to be the day I finally asked Shannon Miles on a date.
Before anyone could grab me to help with something, I went looking for her. She wasn’t in her lab or the main cellar. I checked the bottling area, but she wasn’t there, either.
The Big House was quiet—just a couple of employees in the kitchen prepping for the day. I went upstairs to check her office. She’d moved hers over from the old winery building some time ago. It was at the end of the hallway, next to a small conference room where Zoe often had consultations with clients.
I hesitated in the hall where I had a view through her half-open door. She was there, sitting at the vintage desk that had once been her father’s. Her office was small but filled with natural light from the window behind her. She had photos of her family on a shelf and framed prints of different Salishan wines on the wall.
She sat with a pen in hand, leaning over a notebook. Her eyes flicked to her computer screen, then back to her paper. She wrote something, then her gaze went back to her computer.
So beautiful.
Her dark hair was streaked with silver, and she wore it back in a ponytail. She had a pair of reading glasses perched on her nose and her nails were painted a soft rose color. That was unusual for her. Brynn or Amelia—or both—had probably taken her for a manicure. That made me smile. Shannon didn’t do enough for herself, and I knew spending time with the girls made her happy.
She tapped her pen against her lips. I gazed at her mouth, imagining those lips against mine. I’d been close enough to get a whiff of her hair a few times—she smelled like lavender—but what did she taste like? What would her breath feel like on my neck? Her naked body pressed against—
“Hey, Ben.”
I nearly jumped out of my boots at the sound of Brynn’s voice behind me. I cleared my throat, trying not to look too guilty. “Hi there, Sprout.”
Her eyes flicked to her mother’s partially open door, then back to me. “Are you okay?”
Damn. How long had I been standing here, staring? Fantasizing.
“Yes, fine. Just lost in thought for a minute, there.”
“Okay. I just need to go talk to my mom.” She jerked a thumb toward Shannon’s office. “Did you need to see her about something? I can wait if—”
“No, you go right ahead.” I couldn’t very well say what I wanted to say to Shannon with her daughter standing a few feet away. Especially right after I’d been picturing Shannon naked. “I can wait.”
Instead of loitering in the hallway, I went back downstairs while Brynn talked to her mom. I felt like I needed something to do, so I pretended to check on the wine fridge again. It was humming along nicely, but I gave it a once-over anyway.
I peeked out into the lobby and saw Brynn leave. Took a deep breath. Now was my chance.
“Ben,” Roland said behind me. “I’m glad you’re here. Do you have a minute?”
I swallowed back a frustrated growl. “Sure.”
“We’ve been looking at options for upgrading the wine presses. I had Mom and Cooper take a look, but I wanted to get your opinion.”
“Yeah, of course.”
I followed Roland up to his office, casting a quick glance at Shannon before I went in. She looked up and for a second our eyes met. She gave me a quick smile, then went back to whatever she’d been working on.
God, that smile.
I sat down in Roland’s office and we went over the equipment options. Even though I was anxious to speak to Shannon, I appreciated Roland including me on this decision. I wasn’t the wine expert around here, but I’d been working on the winery’s equipment for over twenty-five years. I knew a thing or two.
But my attention was half focused on the office down the hall. I was afraid I’d miss her—miss my chance to talk to her before she got busy.
“Thanks for your input,” Roland said, turning his screen around. “The rep from the manufacturer will be out here next week if you want to talk to him.”
“Good. I’ll be around.”
I tried not to look too eager to leave, but Roland’s phone rang. I gave him a nod, which he returned, and ducked out into the hall.
Shannon was still in her office. My heart beat faster at the sight of her. I’d held back from her for so long. Kept my feelings buried deep. Now I was ready to explode like a fireworks show. Like I could walk right in there, pull her to her feet, push her up against the wall, and kiss the hell out of her.
She looked up and our eyes met again. I’d never once felt awkward around her, but right now, I felt as nervous as a boy about to ask a girl on a date for the very first time. Fifty-eight years old, and this woman made me feel like a shy kid again.
I nodded to her and approached
her half-open door. “Morning.”
“Good morning.” She took her reading glasses off and set them on her desk. “What brings you up here?”
“Oh, the usual. Discussing wine presses with Roland.”
Her eyes lit up. “That’s going to make such a difference. The new one we’re looking at is supposed to be so gentle. The lower pressure reduces oxidation. It’s amazing.”
“Sounds like it’ll be an improvement.”
“I think it will be,” she said. “And it’s such a relief to be in a place where we can consider new equipment. It seems like it wasn’t that long ago we were wondering if we’d be able to stay in business.”
I remembered that all too well. Her ex-husband had been the cause of it. “I’m glad those days are over.”
“Me too.”
We both paused for a few heartbeats, our eyes locked. Hers were clear and blue, her eyelashes fluttering a little as she blinked.
“Shannon, I wanted to ask you—”
I faltered at the sound of a crying baby behind me.
Shannon looked past me, into the hallway. “Uh-oh. Can you excuse me for a second?”
Zoe was in Roland’s doorway, holding Hudson up against her shoulder. She bounced and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Hudson’s cries filled the hall, her attempts to soothe him clearly failing.
I followed Shannon over to Roland’s office.
“Aw, Huddy,” Shannon said. “What’s the matter?”
“Someone decided to get up at four o’clock this morning and refused to go back to sleep,” Zoe said. “Now he’s exhausted.”
“Isn’t Marina watching him today?” Shannon asked.
“She just called,” Zoe said, continuing her bounce-sway-pat routine to no avail. “She had a family emergency and has to go out of town for a few days. I figured she was just running late, and we have a luncheon at eleven, so I brought him with me. I thought she could pick him up here, but she’s on her way to Portland.”
“I’ll take him home,” Roland said.
Shannon reached for him. “I can take him.”
“Are you sure?” Roland asked.
“Of course,” she said. “I know how busy you are.”
“I’ll come home after the luncheon’s over,” Zoe said. “It should only last a couple of hours.”
“That’s fine,” Shannon said as Zoe handed a crying Hudson to her. “I’ll get him down for a nap and he’ll be good as new.”
“Thank you so much,” Zoe said, draping her diaper bag strap over Shannon’s shoulder. “You’re a lifesaver.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Roland said.
“Come on, mister. Let’s go home and take a nice nap.” She glanced at me. “Sorry, Benjamin. Did you have something you needed to ask me?”
Not in front of two of your kids while you’re holding a crying baby. “Oh, no. You go on and get that little one home.”
She smiled, rubbing Hudson’s back. “Okay. Zoe, take your time. We’ll be fine.”
“Thank you again,” Zoe said, straightening her blouse.
I watched Shannon take Hudson downstairs. Heard his cries disappear as they left the building.
Damn.
That hadn’t worked out the way I’d wanted. I’d just have to try again later.
Five
Shannon
The tasting room was empty. It was a quiet evening, so I’d sent Brynn home early. Now, ten minutes to closing, I didn’t expect we’d get any more customers.
I’d spent my morning with Hudson, although he’d slept through most of it. Poor little nugget had been so exhausted he’d taken a three-and-a-half-hour nap. I’d fed him lunch and he’d been back to his happy self. Zoe had come home soon after, so I’d gone back to work.
The afternoon had gotten away from me, and the next thing I knew, it was nearly seven. My days were like that more often than not—filled with work and family. Life was busy.
Which was why I’d been looking forward to tonight.
I got out two wine glasses and set them on the bar. After mulling it over for a minute or two, I chose a wine—a sweet red blend with a hint of blackberry. We aged it in bourbon barrels, sourced from a local distillery, giving it a smooth finish. It had become one of my favorites.
My friend Naomi came in, dressed in a beige trench coat. Her blond hair was cut short—about chin length—and she had a handbag slung over her shoulder.
Naomi Harris and I were perhaps the unlikeliest of friends. She’d been my husband’s mistress, years ago. Borne him two children, both while he was married to me. I hadn’t known at the time. More importantly, Naomi hadn’t known about me. She’d believed Lawrence to be single. She’d been devastated to discover he had a wife and children, living just half an hour away.
At first, I’d wanted nothing to do with her. I’d felt sympathy for her children, and hadn’t wanted to get in the way of them getting to know their half-siblings. But eventually, I’d decided I needed to clear the air with Naomi.
We’d sat down together over coffee and told each other our stories. That day, I’d come to an important realization: Naomi and I were both victims. We’d been deeply wounded by the same man, and neither of us had ever intended to hurt the other.
After that, we’d cautiously begun to form a friendship. We’d bonded over our shared experiences as women and mothers, as well as our hatred of the man who’d betrayed us both.
Lawrence had gotten prison. I’d gotten a friend. Yet another way I’d come out far ahead, despite all the horrible things he’d done.
“Hi, Shannon,” Naomi said with a smile. She put her handbag on the bar and took off her coat. “How was your day?”
“Busy,” I said and poured us each a glass, then re-corked the bottle. I pushed her glass toward her, then went around the bar to take a seat next to her. “Emergency babysitting duties this morning, catching up with work all afternoon. How about you?”
She swirled her wine. “Busy. Elijah dropped his project in a puddle on the way to school. Then he was upset about being late. Poor buddy.”
“Where is he tonight?”
“With the family next door,” she said.
“I’m glad you could get away.” I lifted my glass and took a sip. “I haven’t seen you in a while. What’s new?”
She took a drink of her wine before answering. “Well… I’m dating someone.”
I gasped and sat up a little straighter. “You are? Tell me.”
“His name is Jack Cordero. I’ve known him for several years, but just as an acquaintance, really. He asked me to dinner a few weeks ago. I was so surprised I spilled water all over him. It was embarrassing.”
“Oh no,” I said, laughing.
“Not my finest moment. But even after that, he still wanted to go out. And we’ve seen each other almost every day since.”
“That’s wonderful,” I said. “What does he do?”
“He’s a cop. He spent most of his career with the Seattle police department. He was married once before, but they never had children. They divorced eleven years ago. Obviously, I checked. Then, a few years ago, he moved out here.”
“I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks,” she said. “I’m not getting ahead of myself. It’s early. But I like him a lot. I haven’t introduced him to Elijah yet, but Grace knows him. She gave him her stamp of approval.”
“Good. That’s important.”
“It is,” she said. “If this ends up going somewhere, my kids need to be okay with it. More than okay with it. But… I don’t know, Shannon, I have a feeling about him.”
I took another sip of wine. “I think it’s wonderful.”
She took a drink, then held up her glass. “This is so good. You have a gift.”
“Thank you.”
“What about you?” she asked, setting her glass down. “Have you thought about dating?”
I laughed softly. “Me? No.”
“Why not?”
“How much time d
o you have? It’s a long list.”
She sighed. “Shannon.”
“My kids aren’t even dating anymore,” I said. “Not really.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” she asked. “Don’t tell me you’re too old.”
“I am too old.”
She rolled her eyes. “Hardly.”
“I’m fifty-seven. Who starts dating again at that age?”
“Lots of people,” she said.
It was my turn to roll my eyes. “Do you know how long it’s been since I dated? I got married when I was twenty-two.”
“All the more reason for you to at least be open to the possibility.”
I took a sip. “I just feel like that part of my life is over. I got married and raised a family. Now my kids are starting families and I’m busy here.”
“I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with staying single if you’re happy,” she said. “And heaven knows being single is better than being with the wrong man.”
“Cheers to that.” I raised my glass and she clinked hers against it.
“But don’t assume your life is over. You’re a beautiful, vibrant woman. A good man could make you very happy, in all sorts of ways.” She winked.
I almost choked on my wine. “All sorts of ways?”
“Sure. You remember sex, right?”
“Vaguely.”
“It’s been a long time for me, too,” she said.
Yet another thing we had in common, and for the same reason.
“I can’t even remember the last time,” I said. “Not for sure. I kicked him out almost two years ago. But even then, it had been years.”
“He was failing you in every way,” she said.
“He was. I think the worst part is that I blamed myself. I thought maybe after four children, he didn’t find me attractive anymore.”
Gaining Miles: A Miles Family Novella (The Miles Family Book 5) Page 3