by Elle James
Her brow furrowed. “And what’s that?” she said, reaching for the button on his jeans.
“What does CJ stand for?”
She laughed. “We’ve made love and you don’t know?”
He shrugged. “Always seemed to get pushed to the back of my mind when I had other things to concentrate on. But now, I don’t want to go any further until I know just who I’m making love to.” He covered her hands with his before she could lower his zipper.
She looked up at him with a twisted grin. “It’s not nearly as intimidating as the initials.”
“I’m not looking to be intimidated.” His fingers squeezed hers. “Tell me.”
“I haven’t been called by my given name since I was turned over to child protective services and placed in foster care. Right before Trinity stole me away from the home in which I’d been assigned.”
He kissed her forehead. “You’re stalling.” Trailing kisses from her temple, across her cheek to her mouth, he paused. “Tell me.”
“We need showers,” she whispered. “How can you kiss me when I’m so dirty?”
“I like you dirty,” he said and brushed her lips with his.
When she rose up again on her toes, he lifted his head. “Uh-uh. Not until you tell me.”
CJ dropped back on her heels. “It’s no big deal.”
He let go of her and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m waiting.”
“Fine.” CJ looked away. “My given name is Cara Jo Grainger. I go by CJ because Cara Jo sounds too soft and girlie.”
“Cara Jo.” Cole grinned.
CJ swung at him. “See? It’s not me.”
Cole pulled her into his arms and tipped her chin upward with a finger. “It’s most definitely you. Because, you see, you might be the hard-as-nails CJ to everyone else, but I know beneath that outer shell is the soft Cara Jo, fighting to get out.”
“I’m not soft,” CJ said. “And I’m going for that shower, even if you aren’t.” She stepped out of his embrace, her panties and bra, and into the shower stall. The water switched on and she leaned out, a frown denting her pretty brow. “Are you coming?”
Cole didn’t need a second invitation. He stripped off his shirt, jeans and shoes and stepped into the shower with her.
Half an hour later, the water had chilled, but their passion had not.
Cole gently dried Cara and wrapped her in a big, fluffy towel. He dried himself and looped a towel around his waist. Following the doctor’s instructions, he applied the ointment to her wound and dressed it in the gauze and medical tape. Then he scooped her up into his arms and carried her across the hall into his bedroom and made love to her into the night, careful not to jar her, or cause her any pain. When they’d spent themselves, he lay beside her and slept the sleep of the sexually satisfied and thoroughly exhausted, knowing that when he woke, Cara would be beside him.
* * *
CJ SLEPT HARD for the first time in years, waking early before Cole stirred. For a long time, she lay on her side, staring at the man who’d been beside her, relentlessly looking out for her well-being and safety.
With the Director dead and the training camp burned to the ground, Trinity had lost its strength. But there were agents out there now who didn’t have leadership or anyone to guide them. What would they do now that they were basically out of a job?
She’d struggled over the past year to find herself without Trinity. Job applications were difficult when she couldn’t list a single skill that applied to being a clerk in a doctor’s office or pass the background check for many positions in the DC area.
Had she used her real name, a background check could have done one of two things. First, it could have alerted authorities that she was a cold case of a missing child. Second, a Trinity sleeper agent embedded in whatever government office processing the background check could have found her. They would have eliminated her before she’d had the chance to save Anne Bellamy and the man she’d thought was a trustworthy vice president.
Now that Trinity was defunct, Cole wouldn’t need to protect her. She could move out of Charlie’s house and start all over somewhere safe. A place that would allow her to be anything she wanted. As long as she had a new identity. From what she’d seen Jonah was capable of, he could set her up with that new identity.
CJ rolled out of the bed, wrapped the towel around herself and crept into her room, where she dug into her backpack for her clothes and dressed quickly.
Once dressed, she headed down to the war room where she found Jonah at his computer.
“Do you ever sleep?” she asked.
“Good morning, Ms. Grainger.” Jonah glanced up briefly with a smile. “I’ll have you know that I slept like a baby last night.” He went back to tapping on the keyboard. “Knowing the Director was taken care of and the man who’d killed Mr. Halverson was dead cleared my mind for the first time since John Halverson’s death.” Jonah’s hands paused on the keyboard. “He was a good man.”
“I wish I’d known him. Seems he had a way with bringing people together,” CJ said.
“He had a way of giving people a second chance. I was a snot-nosed kid hacking into bank accounts when he found me about to be caught by the Feds. He pulled me into his home and gave me a place to live. Hell, he made me part of his family. I loved him like the father I never knew. And Charlie...she’s been there for me. I’d do anything for them.”
CJ held up her hands. “I believe you. Charlie’s amazing, and the team she hired has been nothing but professional and competent.”
Jonah nodded and turned to CJ. “What brings you to the war room so early this morning? I know it’s not to hear about me or how I came to be living on the Halverson estate.”
“No, but I’m glad you told me. I’m glad to know I’m not the only stray Charlie has taken in. She’s got a good heart.” She paused briefly before adding, “I need a new identity. A chance to start my life over.”
Jonah nodded. “I can help you with that. Like I helped Jane Doe—I mean Jasmine Newman.” He cracked his knuckles and turned back to his computer. “Who do you want to be? A teacher? A physicist? A police officer?”
“I want to be someone who helps children like those who were recruited into Trinity. I don’t want what happened to me to happen to them.”
“I can make you a social worker with a degree and everything.”
CJ shook her head. “No, Jonah. I want you to give my life back to me. I want to be Cara Jo Grainger. But I don’t want to be on anyone’s database as having been a missing child or having been a part of Trinity. I want to go to college, get a degree and learn how to go about helping others. I just want to be me. Cara Jo Grainger.”
Jonah turned to her and nodded. “I can help you with the database part, but you’re going to have to find your way back to that person on your own. Trust me. I know. I’ve been there and I’m glad I don’t have to do that again. And you can’t go back and reclaim what you lost. You have to move forward and become the person you want to be.” He stood and held out his hand. “We can start right now. Hi, I’m Jonah Spradlin. Pleased to meet you.”
She smiled and took the younger man’s hand. “I’m Cara Jo Grainger. The pleasure’s mine.” Then she pulled Jonah into a hug and let the tears slide down her cheeks. “Thank you, Jonah.”
“Hey, what’s going on here?” Cole’s voice sounded behind them.
Jonah stood back and waved a hand at CJ. “Cole McCastlain, I’d like to introduce you to Cara Jo Grainger. She’s new in town. I hear she’s good with kids and she has a heart of gold.”
Cole’s brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed, but he went along with the introduction. “Miss Grainger, I’m pleased to meet you.” He held out his hand.
CJ placed her hand in his. When his warm fingers curled around hers, she felt the electric current running between them. “Please. Call me Cara Jo
.”
“Cara Jo,” Cole said. Then he pulled her into his arms and hugged her close.
“I’m ready,” she said into his chest.
“Ready for what?” he asked.
“Ready to start over.” She looked up into his eyes. “It’s not too late, is it?”
“No, babe, it’s not too late.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Just do me one favor.”
“Name it,” she said.
“Don’t change who you are,” he whispered.
CJ frowned. “But I can’t be the CJ of the past.”
He shook his head. “You’ll always be the CJ of your past. It’s what made you the kind, caring, incredibly strong woman you are today.” He brushed his lips across hers. “It makes you the woman I’m falling in love with. The woman I don’t want to let go of...for the rest of my life.”
Her heart skipped several beats and then raced, pushing blood through her veins so fast she thought they might burst. “How could you fall in love with me? I’m a trained assassin.” She had to admit to herself that his words of love were like a dream come true, but how could they be real? She didn’t deserve his love. She’d killed people.
“Your past doesn’t dictate your future. But it helps to shape you into the woman you want to become.” He brushed a thumb across her damp cheek. “From where I’m standing, you’re pretty awesome already. I want to be with you as you rebuild your life and you improve on the woman you already are.”
“Mr. McCastlain, I don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into.”
“Oh, sweetheart, I know, and I can’t wait to see what new adventures we’ll come up with next.”
She rested her hands on his chest where his heart beat strong and his muscles flexed when he moved. With a twisted smile, she stared up into his eyes. “Then hold on to your hat, cowboy. It’s going to be a helluva ride.”
Chapter Fourteen
Cole grabbed two longnecks out of the ice chest on the covered patio overlooking the pool at Charlie Halverson’s mansion. After opening them, he handed one to Declan and the other to Mack.
“Aren’t you having one for yourself?” Mack asked.
Cole shook his head. “No, thank you. I’m swearing off alcohol for the time being,” he said and patted his midsection. “The older you get, the more weight you gain. I don’t plan on developing a beer belly.”
Mack drank half the bottle before he set it on the table in front of him. “Can I get you another rum and Coke?” he asked Riley Lansing, who sat in the seat beside him. He’d been holding her hand for the past hour as they sat staring out at the rippling water of the backyard pool and Charlie’s rose garden, chatting with the rest of the team and their ladies.
“I can’t believe it’s been six months since I first met Declan, and he saved me from Trinity when they tried to kidnap me on Capitol Hill.” Charlie leaned against Roger Arnold, an arm around his waist. “John would have been so proud of what you all have accomplished.”
“What you’ve accomplished,” Declan said, raising his bottle of beer to Charlie. “Had you not offered my team a job, none of it would have happened. Trinity would still be around and they could have had their leader as president.”
Cole shook his head. “Our world could have been a very different place at this point in time. But, because you had faith in us, our presidency is safe, we have a new vice president who happens to be female, and the children of Trinity are learning how to be kids again.”
“How’s that going, Charlie?” Anne Bellamy asked from where she sat in the same lounge chair with Jack.
Charlie smiled. “Ask Cara Jo, she’s been working as a volunteer since we set up the John Halverson Children’s Foundation.”
As all gazes turned to CJ, she smiled. “It’s going to be a long road, but they’re coming along better than expected. The discipline they learned from Trinity is coming in handy. Some of them have been rehomed in foster care. Others have chosen to remain in the foundation boarding school. We’ve set up a sports program to keep them busy and out of temptation. Many of them are showing a lot of promise in academics.”
“How’s the course work coming, Cara Jo?” Declan asked.
CJ’s chest puffed out. “I made the dean’s list this semester.”
Everyone congratulated her.
Cole slipped an arm around CJ and pulled her close. “I was so proud of her, I knew if I didn’t do something soon, I might lose her forever.”
“What are you talking about, man?” Mustang asked. “Cara Jo’s not going anywhere. She’s one of us.”
CJ’s joy bubbled over at the compliment. Being a part of the team meant the world to her. Almost as much as being a part of Cole’s life. She held up her left hand. “You guys are stuck with me. Cole asked. I said yes. We’re engaged!”
Riley, Anne, Emily Chastain, Jasmine and Grace rushed forward to admire the ring and hug the happy couple.
“Have you picked a date?” Grace asked.
Cole’s cheeks turned a charming shade of red. “Actually, we’re getting married really soon. I need you all to clear your calendars for the weekend after next.”
A collective gasp was followed by the women shaking their heads, and mentions of impossible and that’s crazy were murmured.
Gus was the one to break through with the question everyone must have been wondering and one CJ was excited to answer. “Why so quick?”
Cole looked to CJ. “You want to tell them?”
She smiled and pressed a hand to her flat belly. “I’m pregnant. The baby is due in six months.”
“So that’s why you’re not drinking alcohol?” Declan laughed. “I should have known something was up. You never pass on a good beer.”
“As long as Cara Jo can’t drink alcohol, I’m swearing off.” Cole kissed CJ’s temple. “We’re in this together.”
Mustang chuckled. “Sounds like you’re going into battle.”
Cole ran a hand through his hair. “Sometimes I think I’m going into battle without a weapon. What do I know about raising a kid?”
CJ hugged him around the middle. “As much as I do. Don’t tell me you’re scared, because that would make two of us.”
Grace hugged CJ and then Cole. “You two will be just fine. And that baby will have the love of a dozen honorary aunts and uncles.”
“You bet. And a cousin to play with,” Declan said.
Grace glared at him. “Shh. This is CJ and Cole’s moment.”
Cole’s eyes narrowed. “Wait. What is this about a cousin to play with?”
Mustang leaned forward as Cole’s gaze pinned Declan. The stares of the rest of the team and the women fixed on him, as well.
Declan winced and held up his hands in surrender. “Sorry, Grace. I just couldn’t help myself.” A grin spread across his face and he pulled Grace into his lap. “We’re pregnant, too. But I didn’t give up beer.” Grace elbowed him in the gut. “But I guess I will now that the cat’s out of the bag.”
Roger Arnold stepped forward and cleared his throat. “While we’re all confessing to big changes, Charlotte and I would like to make a couple of announcements.” He turned to Charlie. “My love, you have the floor.”
Charlie stepped forward with a paper in her hand. “I have with me a letter from the president of the United States.”
Everyone grew silent.
“As you all know, I’ve been to visit the president on a number of occasions over the past few months since Declan’s Defenders saved his life. Out of those meetings, we came up with the foundation to help the children of Trinity.”
CJ’s heart warmed, remembering how Charlie had gone into high gear to find a building with a dormitory and classrooms to house the children who would otherwise have inundated the state of Virginia’s social services with too many children to place into foster homes. And with the need to
teach them to think like regular kids, they were not good candidates to go straight into homes.
Charlie had spent millions of dollars to bring the facilities up to standard and make it more of a home than an institution for the children. CJ and the rest of the team—especially the women—had had a hand in helping paint, decorate and shop for everything they needed from clothing to toys and toothbrushes.
“I also made a special request to our commander in chief. I asked him to fix what was broken.” She held up the paper and smiled. “Today, he came through. This letter confirms that each of my Declan’s Defenders has had their military records expunged of the dishonorable discharge. You are all eligible to return to active duty and Marine Force Reconnaissance, if you so desire. The president says he would be honored if you would consider coming back to work for him and our country.”
Declan stood, his eyes suspiciously shiny. “Seriously?” He paced the tiled patio, shoving his hand through his hair. “We’re no longer listed as dishonorably discharged?”
Cole stood beside CJ, his hand tightening around her middle.
She knew how much being a member of the elite Marine Force Reconnaissance team had meant to him and the others.
She looked up at him, her heart thudding against her ribs. Her world on the cusp of yet another change. “If you want to go back to the Marine Corps, go. I’ll support your decision.”
“But would you come with me?” he asked. “It would mean moving away from the foundation, your college, Charlie and Roger.”
She laid a hand on his chest. “I’ll go wherever you go. Our baby will know her father.”
“His,” Cole corrected absently. “I could go back into the corps.” He looked at Declan and his other teammates.
They all appeared to be in a state of shock.
Charlie frowned and chuckled. “This is not exactly the response I expected.”
Mustang stood. “Charlie, don’t get us wrong, we’re thankful. It was a huge blow to us to be ejected from the corps we loved and swore our loyalty to.”
“And worse, having the stigma of a dishonorable discharge on our records,” Declan continued. “Having that expunged is a blessing.”