“Well, who’d believe that. You can’t stop thinking about him.”
“Damn it, he’s my dad.”
“Yes, and he’s all you’ve got left now.”
“What about the others? I guess I thought I could rely on certain people and I was wrong. Where are Oscar and Kiko? And my brother? My own brother doesn’t even turn up.”
“Now you miss him? You’ve spent years turning your back on him, and now you need him, you miss him. Strange.”
“But he’s my big brother, he’s supposed to protect me and help me.”
“That’s exactly what he’s been doing all his life, and you’ve never stopped berating him.”
“...”
“Something similar happened with Sofia.”
“Sofia! What about her?”
“Well, that she’s gorgeous, nice, single and she apparently likes you. Nevertheless, the only thing you’ve done is put obstacles in front of her.”
“That’s not true.”
“You have some cheek alright! You even made up a fake girlfriend!”
“Bea isn’t fake, she’s a real person.”
“But she isn’t your girlfriend anymore. She hasn’t been for a long time, whether you like it or not.”
“Anyway, I wanted Sofia and I to get to know each other little by little.”
“That’s a crap excuse. You didn’t dare because you’re a coward. And what now? You don’t think she’s going to be here with you? Thinking about you? Looking after you? If you want to be loved, you have to give it first.”
“But what is love? Or more to the point, is it so important? At the end of the day, being in a relationship is always difficult, from the beginning to the end. Complications arise without seeing them coming, and in the end, bam! comes the disappointment. OK, there are wonderful times too, but is it worth suffering so much for those brief moments? My opinion: having a partner is overrated. You can live life without constant company, or not?”
“If you say so...”
“Anyway, companionship can be found in other people, like friends, family... I don’t need to complicate my life and mess with my head because of a woman to be happy. It just isn’t worth it.”
“That’s very sad, not trying to get those wonderful moments that light up your life all because it isn’t worth a little bit of suffering. You’re a coward. You always have been.”
“That’s enough for today or I’ll end up going mad.”
Just then, his occasional night time friend shone brighter than ever, just for a second. Was that an answer? Advice? More like a smile, a wink of complicity.
I need to rest, I’m getting delirious, Daniel thought as he closed his eyes to carry on wondering about his future, his father, Sofia, the moon, faithful companion of solitude.
That night, Daniel had no reason to hope, but picturing his future in his head, he managed to fall asleep, a few hours at least, before Jorge came back.
The old car took the exit and entered the village, but Daniel remembered nothing of his hometown, which was strange, as the Roman wall that encircled the old town was worthy of a photograph. Jorge drove around and passed through the medieval centre, perhaps to motivate his son. That there behind the stone arch is the Castle, he said as they drove in front of a courtyard flanked by seven towers. Inside is Buitrago Church.
Daniel felt the cold from the sierra on his face as soon as he got out of the car with the help of his crutches. He hadn’t said a word the whole journey. As Jorge took the bags out of the boot, Daniel stood contemplating the old house. It had been years since he had set foot in that huge garden. He remembered the roof being shinier.
“Come on, son. I’ll show you your new room,” Jorge called from the top of the stone steps in front of the door. Then he went inside.
Daniel took a deep breath to appreciate the smell of the cypress trees that surrounded the garden, he’d almost forgotten. For a moment, he travelled to the past, when his brother and he used to play until night fell without worry.
He breathed out and advanced slowly through the lush garden until he reached the door of his new home.
24
He awoke with the first rays of sunshine the following morning. At first he didn’t know where he was. Stretching, he recognised his new room. As he slowly came to, he realised that only while he slept did he feel free and life could be lived as he liked. He pushed himself up from the mattress with difficulty, struggled out of bed, and looked at his reflection in the mirror. Who was that man held up by crutches? Those eyes, those deep hollows devoid of expression.... Who did they belong to?
The doctors had swapped the awful brace for a metal splint, although more comfortable, still kept his leg immobilised. Heaving himself up by his inseparable crutches, Daniel left his room and headed to the kitchen. He caught his dad having breakfast.
“Ah, good morning, son!” Jorge greeted him enthusiastically. His mouth was covered in crumbs and he held a slice of toast with oil in his hand.
Daniel grabbed a packet of biscuits from the cupboard, served himself a coffee and went back the way he came. He didn’t even look at him.
The doorbell rang all of a sudden, frightening Daniel half to death, as he was just passing the door at that very moment. He opened it with gritted teeth. Before him stood a man, younger than his father, enviably fit with weather-beaten skin and silver hair in a military crop. The wrinkles that marked his face were strong like the muscles that were outlined under his tracksuit.
“Can I help you?” asked Daniel.
“You mus’ be Dan,” the strong accent surprised Daniel and he didn’t know how to respond.
“Don’t be shy now, lad! Am...”
“Manu! Aaaahhh, you’re here already, you old rogue! Didn’t expect you so soon.”
Jorge hastened to embrace their guest. Then he turned to Daniel.
“Listen up, son. This here is his eminence Manuel San Román, an old friend from the village. Once you get to know him better, you can call him Manu, if he lets you. He’s a physiotherapist.”
“You’re going to help me with my knee?”
“Yes sir-ee.”
Daniel looked at him doubtfully.
“And when do we start?”
“Right now laddie!” He signalled with his chin towards the living room. “C’mon now, sit yourself down on this sofa.”
Daniel obeyed. Manu rubbed his hands together energetically and set to adjusting Daniel’s splint with care. Jorge watched on from the door.
“Good, good. Be back in three days an’ we’ll carry on.”
Daniel looked at him perplexed.
“That’s it? But we haven’t done anything, you’ve not even been here five minutes.”
The old physiotherapist arched his bushy eyebrows.
“In a rush are we, laddie?”
Daniel was speechless.
“Not much you can do for the moment. I’ll explain: I’ve configured the splint so it has an angle of movement o’ ten degrees. From now on, you’ll be able to bend your knee a teensy bit but I’ll tell you now, it will hurt like hell! Still won’t be able to put any weight on your leg, but everything in it’s own time, eh? Be back in three days an’ we’ll augment that angle of movement. Alright?”
Daniel nodded, although inside he felt disappointed. Ten degrees of movement would mean going at a snail’s pace until his leg was up to going back to playing. Also, Manu didn’t inspire much confidence.
“Right, best be off. Jorge, see you later in the bar.”
Jorge responded with a military salute and accompanied his friend to the door.
When he was alone with his son, he asked him;
“Manu is impressive, don’t you think? You’ll get on well with him. What shall we make for lunch? Do you fancy a warm soup for your cold stomach?”
Daniel didn’t answer. Just the mere presence of his father perturbed him. It was as if there were something floating in the atmosphere that made him incapable of breathing the same
air as him. He went back to his room and slammed the door shut.
“Soup it is then,” Jorge said to himself looking a bit perplexed.
Daniel closed his eyes and felt like his room was spinning. In that state of turbulence, it was impossible for him to sleep, so he opened his eyes and looked at the time on the alarm clock. Half past three. That meant he had been drinking on his own for more than four hours. He sat at the foot of his bed trying to keep his stomach at bay.
On the other side of the window, the night was close and silent. He was tempted to carry on drinking, that way, maybe he would end up unconscious and time would go faster. Instead, he laid back down and felt around blindly on the bedside table for his father’s transistor radio. When he found it, he switched it on and put in the ear phones. He scanned the frequency and heard boring political talk shows, funny sexual queries (some teenagers had used a banana skin as a contraceptive), and adverts for small robot vacuum cleaners (clean your house while you go shopping!) In the end, he found a station that caught his attention: a sports show with a presenter who narrated the reports of basketball games played that day. Daniel started drifting off while listening to his idols’ triumph. The presenter spoke about them as if they were gods, and it felt like just yesterday when Daniel sat in front of the screen, attentive to every single movement these same players made, anxious to put them into practice in his own games. As he continued heading to the land of Nod, he missed the cold mornings when he’d get up early to go and train. He longed for the fraternity with Kiko in the locker room, and Oscar’s jubilant face from the stands. He realised that for them, he was already one of those stars that he was now hearing about on the radio. The last thought that went around Daniel’s head just before falling asleep was devastating. He would never feel that sensation again.
Suddenly, a voice startled him.
“Hi, kid.”
He turned his head towards the doorway and saw her leaning against the doorframe.
“So-Sofia?”
“I see you still remember me.”
Daniel babbled something.
“I’ve finally found you,” she said with a glint in her eye, “although you don’t stop hiding from me.”
“No... I’m not hiding. They brought me here to complete my rehabilitation.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself. I’m here now.”
Something was different about Sofia. She was only wearing a shirt. It was one of his, and it stopped just above her knees. She no longer looked like the jovial and innocent girl with whom he had drunk beers and taken shots. The woman standing with her arms crossed in the threshold of his room didn’t look particularly like she wanted patatas alioli. Her enormous brown eyes contemplated him through long eyelashes. Daniel swallowed when Sofia entered his room and sat down on his bed.
“I-I’m glad you’re here,” he stuttered.
If he lowered his gaze he could see her underwear beneath the shirt. Was she trying to seduce him? Daniel had never desired someone so much.
She slid her hand over Daniel’s broken leg without taking her eyes off of his. Then she stroked him gently.
“Poor kid,” she said, biting her bottom lip.
Daniel was sweating. The simple contact with Sofia’s delicate hand with his skin had excited him. On impulse, he stroked her neck and lowered his hand until he reached the top button of the shirt.
More sweating.
A clashing of metal, the sound of saucepans clanging together, suddenly came from the kitchen.
“My dad! He’s awake,” murmured Daniel.
“I have to go.”
“No!”
“Yes, this isn’t my place,” insisted Sofia.
“Where are you going?”
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll be keeping watch on you.”
She winked and stood up.
“My dad. He’s awake,” repeated Daniel.
“Yes, he’s woken up.”
“My dad.... he’s awake...”
Daniel woke up with his mouth dry. Other consequences of the hangover were the hammering in his head and an unexpected lump in his pyjamas in between his legs. His father was preparing breakfast as if he wanted the whole village to know (that’s what had woken him up). Daniel got up asking himself where he would have got to with Sofia if his dream hadn’t been interrupted. That had been no nightmare. He looked at the doorway suspiciously. Did he really wish that his dream had been real? For Sofia to appear out of the darkness and throw herself on him? He didn’t want to think of it anymore, the answer was quite clear.
Daniel’s life had turned into madness.
“This here is part of the rehab. ’s nuffin’ on what’s to come, so stop your whining,” Manu shouted at Daniel when he threatened to throw the towel in with one of the exercises.
“D’ya wanna get better? Then let’s get on with it!”
And they got on with it.
Wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and suffer Manu’s torture. That was his daily routine. Have breakfast with Jorge without uttering a word. Increase the angle of movement to fifteen degrees. Leaves fall from the trees, autumn comes. Walk alone around the village and find out how much it has changed. Argue with Jorge about lunch. Argue with Manu about the pain. Argue with himself about arguing so much. Twenty degrees of movement. Dream about Sofia. Cry alone. Get lost in the woods and have to be rescued by a farmer. Cold comes. Catch a cold. Buy a cheap heater. Start understanding Manu’s accent. Twenty-five degrees. Hate living with his father. Hate his father. Hate being so pessimistic. Think about Oscar and Kiko. Go out to have dinner alone and make friends with a stray dog. Look at himself in the mirror and cry. Storms come. Thirty degrees. Leaks in the roof. Thirty-five degrees. Want to kill Manu with one of his torture machines. Forty degrees. Dream about Sofia. Forty-five degrees. Cook lamb for dinner and find out his father is vegetarian. Give half the meat to the stray dog. Dream about Sofia. Fifty degrees.
The relationship between Daniel and his dad didn’t improve. Daniel showed no interest in approaching him and Jorge didn’t seem to mind much –that part tortured Daniel–. They ate separately, watched TV separately and many days they didn’t exchange a single word. But what was really killing Daniel was the absence of news from the others, his other family. He didn’t stop asking himself why no one visited. Where had Oscar and Kiko got to? What had happened with the team? Had they forgotten about him in the first team? There were too many questions. And if that wasn’t enough, he’d lost his mobile phone. He hadn’t seen it since he’d woken up in the hospital and now he was missing it. The isolation was almost unbearable.
To help combat the loneliness, one afternoon he left the house in search of a cyber café that, if he remembered correctly, should be near the square. A long way for a man on crutches, but the effort was worth it.
The place was empty, and in the corners of the ceiling hung huge cobwebs. He dropped himself down onto the first chair and turned on the computer. While it booted up, he massaged his aching hands.
Insert coins, appeared on the screen.
He immediately took two one euro coins from his pocket and pushed them into the slot. First, he accessed his email account. He entered his email address and password, and when he was about to click on ‘accept’ he stopped.
What if I don’t like what I see?, he thought. And if no one has messaged me in all this time?
In the end, curiosity got the better of his fear of rejection and Daniel opened his inbox.
One new message.
From Oscar! Only one message wasn’t a very impressive haul, but Daniel felt happy to have news from his friend.
From
To
Daniel smiled remembering the passion his friend unleashed with his writing.
To be honest, I have a ton of stuff to tell you, typical bits of gossip that we love. Kiko is already up to date with everything, I spoke to him last week. Let’s see, where do I start.
.. It’s a long story so I’ll try to be brief.
As he read on, Daniel understood that his friend’s sentimental life had done a U-turn one morning, when he took the train to work and came across a young woman. She had looked at him through the crowded carriage and, at some point between one station and the next, something had awoken in him. The train arrived at its destination and they both went their separate ways without a word. That night he dreamed about her.
The next day, Oscar made sure to get on the same carriage, and his chest almost exploded when he saw her in the same place as the day before, smiling at him. Had Daniel been in his friend’s shoes, nothing would have happened. But Oscar knew how to enjoy life to the fullest, so armed with courage he approached the mysterious girl.
Almudena was the type of girl who was full of surprises Any man or woman would have said that she was a university student, based on her informal ponytail and trainers. She was petite and spoke quickly, typical of someone who’s a bag of nerves, as Kiko would say. It was that vivacity that caught Oscar’s eye. He was sure that he would never have noticed her if it hadn’t been for the eye contact she had begun. Almudena was different from the girls he usually dated. She was... authentic.
Oscar didn’t hesitate to give Daniel all the details of their first conversation.
“Hi, erm.. do you mind if I sit next to you?”
“I don’t mind if you don’t.”
“Well, I don’t mind,” he said firmly, and he sat down.
“My name’s Almudena.”
“I’m Oscar,” he replied stretching his hand out at the same time.
Almudena declined the cordial greeting and instead gave him a hasty kiss on each cheek.
Halfway through the journey, between bemused and blissful, Oscar started up the conversation.
“Excuse me if I’m being very forward but I’ve noticed we always catch the same train and I think we could make the journey less boring if we chat from time to time.”
“Wow, that’s great, free morning chit-chat,” she said with mock sincerity.
Reflections in the Mirror Page 10