The Last Man Alive

by A S Neill

  "Contact!" he shouted, and the huge plane began to go forward. He circled the grounds twice, and then, going straight into the wind, he rose, and they saw him wave his hand.

  Few Doing Little For The Few; by F K Waechter

  "If he can do it we can do it", said Michael, and each of them got a plane out, and one by one they taxied away and rose. The boys began to vie with each other, and soon they were looping the loop and nose-diving, but for the most part unintentionally. Bunny signalled, and they got into battle formation and headed for Leiston. Each made a fine landing on the hockey-field, and, led by Bunny, they rushed into the house and announced that they were ready to set off to the rescue of Fritz.

  Pyecraft and Neill said they were not going.

  "Why not?" demanded Bunny.

  Neill's eyes fell before Bunny's gaze.

  "Someone has got to - er - to look after the garden", he said.

  "It needs two men", said Pyecraft hastily.

  Bunny sighed contemptuously.

  "Seems funny to me", he said to David, that the older and more useless you get, the more you funk losing your miserable life. Come on, boys; the world belongs to youth."

  "Just radio us if you need us", said Neill sweetly.

  "Pah!" exploded Bunny, and he led his squadron to the machines.

  They reached Murnau in the afternoon, and glided down to a field inside the trench moat. Fritz frantically waved a flag from the church tower, and came running down to greet them. He was thin and pale and anxious, and their first act was to give him a good meal.

  "I don't see any wolves though", said Jean.

  "They only come at night", said Fritz. "See that place in the trench? They come through there where the rain broke it down."

  "But what about the live wire?"

  "The dynamo must be broken", said Fritz, "and I have been afraid to go up the river to mend it. The wolves have eaten up all the food around, and I have had to eat grass and leaves."

  They advised him to come away with them, and he readily agreed.

  Michael looked disappointed.

  "But we came over to have a fight with the wolves", he said. "We've got enough bombs to blow a thousand of them skyhigh."

  Spike was picking his one remaining tooth with a straw.

  "Bombs", he said with contempt. "Nix on the bomb graft. Too easy. Yuh wants gun-work."

  "Whattda yuh mean?" said Bunny.

  "Any cheap heel can bomb a wolf", said Spike; "ain't no risk to yuh, but face a pack o'wolves wiv a couple of heaters, and show yuh ain't yellow."

  "Spike's right", said Betty. "We'll stay to-night and meet them with our revolvers only."

  Fritz looked anxious.

  "No, no", he said quickly, "there are too many of them, and they are led by a big wolf."

  "Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?" sang Michael; "but", he added, "I think we ought to take out the machine-guns just in case."

  Well, they set about preparing a rampart at the gap in the trench. They mounted the machine-guns, and when darkness fell they waited silently. Ten o'clock, eleven, midnight, one, two... they waited till dawn, but no wolf appeared. It was a most disappointed group that sat down to breakfast. They looked offensively at Fritz, as much as to say that he had swindled them.

  "It must have been the noise of the 'planes them away frightened", he said.

  "We'll try again to-night", said Robert, but in the afternoon a radio message came from Summerhill... "Pyecraft disappeared. Come at once. Neill."

  They set off at full speed to Summerhill, Fritz riding with Spike. They found Neill in a very agitated state.

  "I was planting cabbages", he said, "and Pyecraft was, as usual, lying on the ground telling me how to do it, when a roar came from the other side of the hockey-field. Sounded like a lion, so I popped into the house for a gun, and when I came out again Pyecraft had gone."

  "No footmarks?" asked David. "Did you examine the fag ends lying about with a microscope? Take any measurements? Any fingerprints?"

  "No lion is big enough to carry off Pyecraft", said Jean with decision.

  "I gotta hunch", said Spike. "Neill took him for a ride."

  "Neill's a scotsman", grinned Michael; "he wouldn't take him for a ride; he'd take him for a walk. But why should he?"

  "Search me", said Spike, "but Pyecraft was a millionaire. Ain't the first millionaire to be put on the spot."

  "Don't be silly", said Neill. "We all are millionaires now if we want to be. We have all the gold in the Bank of England if we want it, but what use is it to us? And we're wasting time standing here jawing when the thing to do is to find Pyecraft."

  They looked everywhere without success, looked for bloodstains, footprints, clues of any kind. There was no sign of Pyecraft.

  "I'm afraid", said Bunny, "that he is by now inside some lion."

  "Lion! That's an idea!" said Michael. "Chuck over that grid", and he mounted a cycle and went off in the direction of Aldeburgh. He found Pyecraft in the White Lion, asleep.

  "That was a rotten anticlimax", said Robert that evening. "Fetching us all this way back from a wolf battle to fetch a man from a pub. It wasn't fair. In my opinion it was a frame up: Neill and Pyecraft got funky without us to protect them, and they framed this to get us to come home again."

  The two men denied this allegation vigorously, but they were looked upon with suspicion for some days. Life was rather dull at this time. The constant demands of necessary labour grew irksome. Food had to be cooked, and, of course, they had to keep the place tidy. The water supply had long ceased to function because the town pumping apparatus was silent. They had to pump water from a well. Then there was so little in the way of entertainment. The group was beginning to get on each other's nerves.

  "Always seeing the same faces", said Gordon, "always listening to the same asinine conversation."

  Still they had their diverting moments. Fritz had asked Betty to give him lessons in English, and Betty had suggested that Spike should take him on. So in the evenings they listened to Spike teaching his pupil English.

  "Now", Spike would say, "yuh gotta say it arter me, Fritz. Say this sentence: 'Aw ain't no chisseling bum, yuh stiff stir-boid.'", and Fritz would say: "O ent no keesling boom, yo steef steer boyd."

  "Gee", Spike would say in despair, "tagging the King's English down this yipper's neck is a rib, yuh betcher life."

  In the daytime they spent many hours bombing villages and towns, but they got tired of this play.

  One night they sat talking.

  "It's a dull world, really", said Evelyn. "I am getting more fed up every day. Let's fly to London and go to the shops again", but no one seemed to want to go to London.

  "Having everything you want isn't so much fun as I thought it would be", said Betty. "Why do you think that is, Neill?"

  "That", said Neill, "raises a deep psychological question. The most fascinating things in the world are those you can't get. I remember how much I wanted a good car, by now, even if the roads were clear, I shouldn't want a good car. Swank comes into it of course. Wearing diamond necklaces or nice frocks isn't any fun if there is no one to see you wear them."

  "I don't want to wear them", said Betty, "although you ones can see them."

  "The group is too small", said Neill. "You don't care what we think or admire. The fact of the matter is that our values are all changed now. We have become more primitive. David there hasn't washed for a month."

  "That", said Robert, "is a pre-cloud matter."

  "And I", Neill went on, "find I go for days without shaving now. I don't care what I wear. My old interests are gone for ever. Spain! Franco and the Republicans are all stone. Russia! A dead cemetery. Politics gone, society, gossip, racing, cricket, football; no films, theatres, music; and worst of all no more crossword puzzles."

  "Worst of all, no hope", said Pyecraft. "We exist and no more. I really don't think we shall live long enough for a new generation to be produced. We are just letting things slide. The youn
gsters really ought to be learning trades. Fritz ought to be teaching them all about electricity, for instance. But what is happening? Mucking about bombing villages, fighting animals, growing a few potatoes and carrots. I tell you that if we don't stir ourselves some other animals will steal civilisation from us."

  "I thought at one time the rats would steal it", said Michael, "but they gave up the fight."

  "But have they given up the fight?" asked Gordon. "We don't see them much, but maybe they are working underground. Maybe one day they will come out of their holes by the million and carry everything before them."

  "No", said Neill, "they are too small. They can't manage material of any weight. I rather fancy that the apes may be doing something."

  "I never thought of that", said Michael. "Tarzan! They have the weight and size, they have hands."

  "But very little brain power", said Bunny.

  "That", said Neill, "doesn't matter. Man built a civilisation without much brain power. The apes have courage and force, and for my part I am thankful that apes don't grow in England and can't swim the Channel."

  "All the same", said David, "it would be interesting to know if they were doing anything. We might take the bombers to Africa just to see."

  "Impossible", said Robert, "couldn't get petrol there. If only the airship hadn't got lost." He paused. "I say! Why not try to find it with the 'planes?"

  The children jumped at the idea and next morning they set off. It was Jean who found it near Cambridge. Its anchor had caught in a church tower, and it seemed to be intact. Jean managed to board it, and, leaving her 'plane, she flew the airship home. There was general rejoicing, and it was decided to fly to Africa to study the apes.

  "We'll maybe find the missing link", said Bunny.

  "What, again?" asked Betty, looking archly at David, and David blushed and gave her a clump on the ear.

  From this point the story may sound almost incredible, but fiction is always stranger than truth. They found that the apes had begun to make a new civilisation. It was Gordon who first saw them as they flew over Kenya.

  "Look!" he cried, "down there! Men working!"

  They saw what appeared to be men hauling a tree. Their glasses showed them that they were looking at apes. They stopped the engines and hovered over the scene. The apes looked up astonished, and then they came back and went on with their work, glancing up at the ship every now and again, half fearfully, half curiously.

  "What are they doing?" asked Neill.

  "They've got saws and axes", said Michael; "they must have seen men using them."

  They had apparently cut down the tree with a crosscut saw, but they seemed to be at a loss what to do with it. Some were hacking at it with axes, while others were making aimless saw cuts on the trunk.

  "Just aping men", said Pyecraft. "Haven't the brains to know what to do with tools."

  "Still", said Betty, uneasily, "I don't like it. They are groping for something, and if they grope long enough they may get somewhere. After all, when primitive man made a stone axe he wasn't much ahead of these apes. Look at that big one who seems to be the leader. Look how he orders the others about. There is the beginning of the capitalist class, the masters. Goo, but he's a hefty brute; shouldn't care to be down there among them", and he shivered.

  "Watch them", said Neill, "there's method in their madness. My opinion is that they are trying to make a boat. If not, why is that chap scooping out the middle with the axe? Let's go on and see what the others are doing. We can come back later and see what they have done with the tree."

  They went on, and soon they came to another group which was trying to build a house with branches. One child ape was sitting on the ground striking matches.

  "They have discovered fire", said Bunny, "but that won't help them, for when they have used up the matches they have made, they won't be able to make any more. And there that silly fool sits wasting good matches. You see they don't know what to do with fire. Hullo!"

  His exclamation was caused by a sudden flare. A dropped match had ignited the grass, and there was a howl of terror from the apes who sprang to the branches of the wood. But one large ape jumped down and began to beat the flames with a branch.

  "Not so stupid after all", said Neill. "Mark my words, the apes will conquer the world. Unless -"

  "Unless what?" said Michael.

  "Unless we do it first."

  "We could easily exterminate them", said Robert. "We have enough bombs in Europe to wipe out every ape in the world."

  "That", said Pyecraft, "is a dog-in-the-manger attitude. We can't make a civilisation ourselves, and we won't let another brand make one. I think that we should make an attempt to join forces."

  "With the apes?" said David.

  "Why not? We can teach them a lot."

  "They would kill us", said Betty. "Oogh! They would tear us limb by limb. Let's go higher; we are too near for my taste", and she moved the altitude lever. Nothing happened.

  "The helium is going out", cried Pyecraft, and his face paled. "We are sinking!"

  TO BE CONTINUED…

  - Discussion Of Chapter 7

  "Phew!" whistled Robert, "it's getting exciting. But, of course, in real life the apes couldn't do it."

  "The worst of Neill's stories is that they are always copying other stories", said Betty. "Just a crib from Tarzan of the Apes now."

  "Oh yeah?" said I. "Who was he? And was that also a story of you and a new civilisation? I begin to tire of casting pearls."

  "Pearls!" said Jean with a chuckle. "Chestnuts I should call them."

  "That was a good bit about me flying the bomber", said Bunny. "That made it real life." He paused when I raised my eyebrows. "I could fly a 'plane easily", he continued, "but I think you ought to have made Betty or Gordon crash. They couldn't loop the loop I know."

  "We can't ever get back to Summerhill now", said Evelyn, "for we can't mend the helium that broke", and the boys laughed scornfully.

  "Helium", explained Gordon, "is a gas. You can only get it in America, so we can never fly in the airship again."

  "Unless", I said, "you go to America and bring back some in a petrol tin, Gordon."

  "But it was silly to lose it", said Jean. "We're left with the apes, and how can we ever get away again?"

  "You might marry one and settle down in Kenya", I suggested.

  "Kenya!" said Michael. "Are you quite sure that there are apes in Kenya?"

  I was far from sure.

  "Of course", I said quickly, "three old Summerhillians went out there."

  "That may be", said Michael, "but are you sure there are other apes in Kenya? And do you know what an ape is?"

  The conversation was getting too dangerous, so I side-tracked them by telling them an anecdote about a gorilla.

  Bill Murray was an unemployed musician. The radio and the dance band had narrowed down the musical world, and Bill was on his beam ends. He went to see an old friend, a business man.

  "I'm just about through", said Bill; "no food, no clothes. Can't you give me a job, Alf?"

  His friend said sadly that he hadn't a job for him. "But", he said hopefully, "I was lunching with the superintendent of the Zoo yesterday, and he happened to remark that he needed a man. Go and see him and say that I sent you."

  So Bill went to the Zoo.

  "Yes", said the superintendent, "yes, it is true that I am looking for a man, but it is hardly the job for a man like you."

  "I'll do anything", said Bill; "what sort of a job is it?"

  "Well", said the superintendent, "it's like this. The gorilla died last week. It was a great favourite with the kiddies, and they are missing it frightfully. My idea was this: if I could get a man to put on the gorilla's skin, and hop about the trees, the kids wouldn't know the difference. But, of course, it isn't a job for a cultured man like you."

  "Any job will do for me", said Bill; "I've got to live."

  So Bill donned the skin of the gorilla and began to play about the enclo
sure. The kids threw him buns and nuts, and he tried his best to amuse them. Daily he improved, and soon he could swing from branch to branch. Then one day the superintendent told him that some very distinguished guests were to be visiting the Zoo that day, and would he try his best to amuse the youngsters of the party? So when the guests came, Bill excelled himself. But he was too ambitious: he swung on a branch: it broke... and he dropped into the lion's den. He looked up and saw a huge lion approaching him with the crouch that precedes a spring. Bill cowered in the corner in terror. The lion gradually came nearer and nearer, till Bill was frantic. The lion was now two yards away from him. It paused and looked at him.

  "Get to hell out of this", said the lion savagely; "there are enough unemployed musicians here without you.”

  Chapter 8

  Betty managed to miss the treetops, and brought the ship down in a clearing. The apes scattered in all directions, but they could be seen watching furtively from the trees. Everyone of the ship's party was scared. The girls screamed; the boys wept; Pyecraft almost collapsed; Spike went white and fingered his guns; Fritz hid his head in his hands. Only Neill was comparatively calm.

  "Listen to me", he said, "there has been a lot of tripe talked about the savagery of the wild animal. Savage they can be, but that is when they are driven about and attacked by men. Tigers and lions are not savage; they are not even cruel; it just happens that by nature they must kill to eat. Now apes are not carnivorous; they are a vegetarian animal. I am certain that we shall be quite safe among them."

  "Have you ever seen one before?" faltered David.

  "I haven't."

  "Then you know nothing about them", said David.

  "True", said Neill patiently, "I have never had to deal with apes, but I am reasoning by analogy. In Summerhill I had to deal with a tailless branch of the Simiidae, and - "

  "This is no time for trying to be funny", said Bunny roughly; "we're in a hole, and instead of talking rot tell us how to get out."