by Natalie Dean
…right?
It had to be another family friend. Or perhaps the church. Maybe even Keiko. Their water bill was less than a hundred dollars after all, and she knew several people who could afford that.
But still…
Shaking, her hand went to the next bill, for their gas. That one was a pretty penny, sitting at a thousand dollars and that was after her making payments of ten dollars over the minimum since she had arrived. They were refusing to deliver any more gas until they had it below five hundred dollars, which meant winter was going to be hit hard if she didn’t catch up in time.
Now that she was going to have a regular job, she knew she could do it, and yet she still wondered what was waiting for her in the envelope.
She opened it, her heart thundering. Zero due. Paid in full.
No. It wasn’t possible.
This time her hands shot toward the next envelope. Electric. And the next envelope. Mortgage. And the next. Credit card.
Over and over again until she was surrounded by torn envelopes and rumpled letters, all of them saying the same thing.
Zero balance. Paid in full.
Tears were in Chastity’s eyes as she tried to understand it. A hundred and fifty thousand dollars in debt, all gone. The mortgage was not only brought current, but it was paid off. Suddenly, the heavy burden that had been weighing down her soul was gone, leaving her completely untethered.
There was only one person she knew who could ever do something like this, and her heart quickly swelled in her chest.
Even when they were angry with each other.
Even when he thought that she didn’t care about him.
Ben was still looking out for her.
She put her head in her hands and cried. For once they weren’t unhappy tears, but they certainly were flavored with relief and other overwhelming emotions. She couldn’t believe it. There really was no stop to his kindness.
“Mom!” she called, her mother having wandered upstairs to change into her lounging clothes while Chastity took care of the mail.
“Yes, dear?” her mom asked, peeking around the corner of the hall and down the stairs.
“I need to go out. Do you mind staying put for about an hour?”
“I think I could do that. Honestly, I was thinking of having a nap.”
“Perfect. And you’ll call me if you need anything, right?”
“Of course, dear. Go do what you have to do.”
That was all Chastity needed. She bolted out the door, crying, laughing, and feeling freer than she had in ages.
The world was shifting for her again, everything changing and moving, but for once she welcomed it with open arms. She was a career woman now, who was going to be able to pay the bills solely off of what she created with her mind and her hands. It was insane that it took that for her to realize that she didn’t need to prove to anyone that she was more than what they thought she could be.
Because she finally believed it herself.
And she had one other person to tell about the good news.
26
Ben
Ben sprawled out across his bed, the thick comforter feeling good against his sore back. He hadn’t been able to sleep well the past couple of days, so he had woken up around four in the morning to get even more work done on the barn they were renovating before Benji took care of the general chores for the day.
In reality, none of the brothers had to do the work around the barn because the workers were capable of handling it themselves, but he and most of the others liked being more hands-on. After all, it was the Miller Ranch, not the Long-term Family Friends Ranch. That would certainly be a mouthful.
Ugh.
It was into the afternoon, and Ben was trying to rouse himself to go work on the barn again now that the hottest part of the day had passed. But something was keeping him in his bed. He couldn’t stop staring up at the ceiling; it was like he could see his future played against it as if it were a projection screen.
Except it really was more like daydreaming. So many futures, so few of them possible. He wondered if Chastity even knew what he did, and if she would resent him for it. But with all the bills paid, it gave her the option to leave whenever she wanted. She would no longer be held down by all the bills that had been drowning her.
She would have a choice.
And that gave him some peace. If she hightailed it, then maybe he would finally be able to let her go. And if she stayed… well, he had no idea what would happen then. He didn’t really believe that she would.
That light in his room flickered, which meant someone was at the door. Considering that Ma was out in the coop again, and Pa was out teaching some of the next generation of workers some of the ins and outs of the ranch, he had no idea who it could be. His brothers would just text him.
So, who was it?
He didn’t know, and his natural curiosity wouldn’t let him ignore it. Begrudgingly, he got up and made the small trek down the hall.
He opened the door, still half in his thoughts, only to see a breathless, red-faced Chastity standing there.
“What are you—”
She didn’t let him answer, instead flinging herself into his arms and crashing her mouth to his. He was shocked but welcomed the kiss with a flood of relief through his system.
All the uncertainty, all the doubt he’d had over the past week and a half, was gone. Evaporated by the feeling of her against him.
But eventually the more practical side of his brain kicked in and he pulled away gently, his large hands still lingering on her soft hips. As much as he wanted to give into his temptation and never come up for air, there were things they needed to talk about.
Sometimes he hated being practical.
“I didn’t expect you here,” he said, looking down at her and drinking in all of her expression.
Her eyes were red and puffy while her cheeks were wet. She had been crying.
“This morning, I certainly didn’t expect to be here.”
He wiped her sweat-beaded forehead with his sleeve before his thumbs whisked away the dampness on her cheeks.
“Then why are you here?”
“I know what you did.”
The corner of his lip dragged up ever so slightly while his blood rushed through his veins. “That sounds like something out of a horror movie.”
“But really, it’s anything but, isn’t it?” She looked behind him, her expression flickering a bit. He realized that she’d never seen his new attachment. Back when they were together, he had a room in the main house. “Could we have a seat?”
“Uh, yeah. I’ve got a sitting room. This way.”
He was loath to let her go, but he pulled his hands away from her and turned.
A million thoughts were rushing through his head, as he was wondering what she was going to say or what she wanted. She seemed happy enough with his decision judging by the kiss. But just because she appreciated what he did didn’t mean that she was going to stay.
And that was all right.
He didn’t pay for everything in some ploy to buy her like a common horse. No, he paid for those things for two reasons. One, was as an apology, but secondly was so that she could be free to make decisions that truly felt right to her. No worrying about money, or her mother depending on her. For once, she could think of only herself.
They reached his sitting room, a small place but with a loveseat and a comfortable recliner, a fireplace, and a bookshelf. He didn’t use it often, considering that he lived alone, but every now and then he liked to sit with a good book and listen to the fire crackle while night fell outside of his bay window.
Chastity perched herself on the loveseat, curling her legs under her, and he took that as a good sign. She was settling in for at least a few minutes, not poised and ready to run.
“So…” he began slowly.
“So,” she echoed.
Then it was quiet, neither of them knowing where to start. He felt like perhaps it was time
for him to be quiet and listen to her, but she didn’t seem to be ready to speak.
And so, he waited.
And waited.
But eventually, she did take a deep breath and started speaking.
“I got a job!”
Oh. That wasn’t what he expected. “That’s great! I didn’t know you were looking for one.”
“I was in a mad dash to try to get money to dig my parents out of their debt. But now,” she paused, and there was so much emotion in her eyes that he felt his own heart squeeze.
He wished she had told him sooner, so she wouldn’t have had to struggle so much, but he supposed that he hadn’t earned her trust then.
“Now I don’t have to worry about that, do I?”
Ben raised his eyebrows, trying to keep his expression neutral. “Whatever do you mean?”
But she smiled softly, her eyes welling up again. “Why did you do it, Ben?”
That tone. It wasn’t condemning. It wasn’t upset. But it was truly bewildered. He supposed that Chastity hadn’t exactly had nice gestures thrown at her throughout her entire life.
“I did it for you.”
Her head tilted ever so slightly to the side as she studied him. “To bribe me to stay here?”
“No, nothing like that.” It seemed that it was time to use his words. It all seemed so overdramatic, like a real production, but he needed to express what was going on in his brain. Chastity needed to know what was going on in his brain.
“I did it because it feels like you have all these chains telling you what to do and how to live. Whether it’s your responsibility you feel toward your mother, whether it’s the expectations that were leveled against you as you grew up. Whether it was bills, or the bank man, or any number of things. It seemed that you couldn’t make a choice solely for you, and that I would never be able to know how you truly felt.
“So, while I couldn’t do anything about the expectations, or your relationship with your mother, I could take care of the rest, which would maybe give you enough room to figure the other things out on your own.
“And maybe, when all of that is said and done, I might be enough for you. And maybe I won’t. But the important thing is that I would know that your decision came from you and no one else.
“And that’s what I needed, and why I did it.”
“Oh…” Her voice was quiet as she seemed to take in everything that he was saying. Silence won out again as she sat there, and he could practically see her mind doing flips.
“You wanted me to be free,” she said finally, her eyes flitting to him.
Relief washed over Ben. She understood, and she didn’t seem upset. So, while maybe she would thank him and then choose to leave forever, at least he knew that he had done the right thing.
But he desperately, intensely wished that she would stay. That she would stop letting those doubtful, cruel voices of the past dictate her life and instead, live true to her own self.
“I did.”
She got up, and for a moment, he thought that this was goodbye, that she was going to walk out of the door grateful, but on her own path. Instead of leaving, however, she walked over to him and sank onto his lap, her back resting against one arm of the recliner and her legs draping over the other side.
“That new job I was telling you about? It’s as a verified writer for this really popular site. Given that I don’t have a literal mountain of debt crushing my mother or me anymore, in a month or two I should be able to get my own place in town. There’s this cute little apartment I noticed on the way to the library. It’s month-to-month, so I wouldn’t be tethered down, but I think it might be worth staying in town for a bit.”
It took everything inside of Ben for him not to jump to his feet and let out a triumphant yelp. Instead, he swallowed several times before he answered.
“Oh really?”
She nodded. “I’m not saying I’m giving up on my dreams of making it in the big city, but I think—for the moment—that I have everything I need. No matter what anybody says about me, I have a career now as a writer for an insanely popular website that literally thousands of people apply to every year. I didn’t even apply! I was chosen.
“And…” her tone softened, and he could feel her face warm from where it was resting against his shoulder. “I don’t want to be that far away from someone who cares so much about me that they would give anything to make sure I am happy.
“We have some things we need to work on, mostly with communication and listening, but I got your message loud and clear, Ben. I don’t think I can ever forget it.
“So, if you’re willing, I’d like to try this whole being together thing again. But as adults, which means no more grandiose promises we don’t intend to fulfill, no more thinking the other should read our mind, no more bottling things up until they explode. We’ll be open and honest about how we’re feeling.”
“And what if you go back to the city?”
“Well, we can try long distance. Or we can breakup. But that is a decision we would have to come to together. I won’t lie to you; I still don’t know where my life is headed, and I’m really excited about all the possibilities of this writing thing, but when I daydream about my future, it’s better when you’re involved.”
“I think I can understand that.” Ben shifted slightly, just enough to allow him to gaze at her face. “Chastity Parker, if you’d be so inclined, I’d like to court you.”
Now she blushed scarlet and giggled ever so slightly. “I do declare, Mr. Miller, I think I might be inclined to say yes.” She spoke with an overly exaggerated Southern accent, but he didn’t care. She said yes—and that was all that mattered.
She said yes.
He couldn’t hold back anymore, he leaned forward, his lips catching hers in an intense kiss. He felt her gasp, but she soon melted into him, and the passion consumed them both.
After so many years of longing, a decade of denying what he wanted and everything he needed, after all those times saying he wasn’t interested in romance, he finally had what his heart had been crying out for.
True, she had her flaws, but so did he. He lost his temper, and perhaps he had been a little too willing to blame her for everything. But that didn’t matter now. The only thing that mattered was that they loved each other and were finally going to try again with all the trust they had refused to give each other before.
Eventually they parted, and he could hear both of them panting. His blood was rushing in his ears while the rest of his body was reacting viscerally to her presence. He wanted her; he wanted her more than anything.
Forcing himself to take a deep breath, he shifted slightly again. “Perhaps we should go on a walk? There’s probably more things we should talk about.”
Chastity looked like she wanted to say no, her lips slightly swollen from the need of their kiss and her face flushed, but after a beat she nodded and slid off of his lap. Offering Ben her hand once she was upright, she sent him a beaming grin.
“I don’t think I’ve said it since I came back, but I love you, Ben. And I’m realizing I always have.”
He stood and pulled her into another hug, his body singing as they touched once again. “And I love you, Chastity. But this time, I’m actually going to show it.”
“Me too.”
As tempting as it was to go right back to kissing in the chair—the two strolled out together.
And hopefully, together was how they would stay.
EPILOGUE
Chastity
Chastity’s stomach jumped up and down as she paced the small room. This couldn’t be happening.
Was it really happening?
It was definitely happening.
Her teeth went to her nicely manicured fingernails again, biting down on her nail before the bitter taste of the polish reminded her to stop.
“Relax,” Keiko said, gently running a hand over her arm. “Everything is going to go perfectly. You have nothing to worry about.”
�
�Easy for you to say,” Chastity said, not stopping her relentless march. “You’re not the one getting married.”
“Not yet,” Mrs. Miller said, as she opened the door, giving the slender woman a wink.
But Keiko ignored that beyond her cheeks flushing slightly pink. She always had a knack for staying so poised.
“Take a deep breath, Chastity. This is what you’ve been waiting for ever since he proposed. You planned this whole thing. It’s going to be perfect.” Keiko adjusted her maid-of-honor dress.
“I know it’s going to be perfect,” Chastity said, flinging herself backward onto the bed, not caring if she rumpled her freshly done hair. “I’m worried about me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, look at me! I’m Chastity. The fat, nerdy girl from high school, who excelled at drama club and almost nothing else. I went to New York City and totally failed after a decade of trying to make it big and had to come home with my tail between my legs.”
“Is that how you see it?” Keiko asked. “Because what I see is an amazing woman who’s made a career out of writing fascinating travel articles and became an online travel personality. People pay you to take amazing trips across the world and thousands of people look up to you.
“I see a woman who has an entire team of writers working under her that she handpicked from town. People who now have their comfortable livelihood thanks to you.
“I see a woman who never gives up. A woman who’s always patient. A woman who walked her mother through one of the worst illnesses that you can have and came out the other side all the better for it.
“I’m not quite sure what you see, but I see a bride that any man would be incredibly lucky to have. And I think Ben would agree with me.”
Chastity sat up and gave her best friend an earnest smile. “You really do have a way with words, Keiko. You know it’s not too late to join my team.”
“I belong with the church. Although I don’t mind guest posting every now and then.” She offered her hand, and Chastity took it, allowing herself to be pulled to her feet. “Now, how about we get you dressed?”