by Nikki Rae
“We don’t need to go any further.” He massaged the back of my skull as I drank in his scent. “We will have time.”
I shook my head at both statements, curling into him like a question mark. “I…” Clearing my throat, I thought of how to best word what I wanted to say. “I just need a minute.”
After a pause, he said, “Of course,” into my hair, lying on his back and draping me over his shoulder so we both faced the window. “The sunset is beautiful from here.” His chest rumbled beneath my cheek.
We were silent as the sky grew dark, him tracing circles over my bare back as the ocean grew dark. Without the light, I couldn’t separate the water from the shore.
Likewise, the room surrounding us had darkened. It made it easier to ignore the shame of asking for what I wanted—if not verbally, then physically.
I spread my fingers wide across his back, feeling a few of the scars there. Marius responded with a kiss to my forehead, and before I could lose my resolve, I reached between us to unbutton his pants.
His hands caught my wrists before I had gotten very far, and I froze instantly, muscles rigid.
“It’s not that I don’t want to.” He tilted my head upward so I was facing him, and he held my gaze for a long moment. Then, he turned to switch on the light on the nightstand.
I reached out to stop him and he paused before he could complete the action. “I have a better idea.”
Tonight was about what he wanted as well. If Marius was more comfortable remaining unseen, it would have been cruel to not respect that.
Biting my lip, I moved away so I could kneel beside him. It didn’t escape either of us that my fingers shook as I replaced the mask around my eyes. Marius better secured it, making sure none of my hair became trapped. Taking my hands, he placed them just above his waist.
With my sight taken from me once again, I relied on Marius as he leaned against the headboard, bringing me with him. Despite my best efforts, Master Lyon’s voice invaded my head: Slowly. Like you’re unwrapping something special.
A tiny breath rushed from Marius’ lungs as I felt my way to his lap so I could sit again. Palms flat on his chest, I could feel him growing hard beneath me, which made a grin stretch my face.
“Look what you’ve done to me,” Marius cooed before his mouth overwhelmed mine, giving me no choice but to surrender as his length pressed against my naked front.
All at once, I wanted to tear off his pants the way he’d ruined my dress. If he wasn’t so close, I might have tried. Marius used his sheer size to roll over so I was under him, ripping away the sheet in the process. I wrapped my legs around his hips as his arms caged me in.
From how his breath felt against my face, I sensed that he hovered over me, waiting for my lead. I’d seen the scars on his chest and back—even portions of his limbs. I’d felt them while we were swimming and he’d kept me safe from the waves. Now I wanted to be swept away with him, drift into the open, black sea.
“Can I ask you something?” Breathless, he let me come up for air.
“Of course,” he whispered, biting my lower lip.
“Did you hear me this morning?”
The smile I felt against my mouth was all the confirmation I needed. “What was it you were dreaming about, mon amour?”
He made me shiver as he followed the curve of one breast. Locking my ankles behind him, I tugged Marius closer, feeling his hardness against my inner thigh. “The emerald room,” I breathed into his ear.
As his hands roamed the space between my legs, an image of the green glass projected against my closed eyelids. Green like a bottle of Absinthe. Like Marius’ eyes.
“Would you like to know a secret?” he murmured against the shell of my ear. I nodded and he nipped at the lobe. “I woke up hard because of you.”
I wasn’t accustomed to Marius being so blunt with me, but it didn’t make me uncomfortable. If anything, I was proud to have a place amongst the people whom he trusted enough to speak this way to.
Master Lyon had shared me with this man in every conceivable way, and the reality of it just being Marius and I struck like a fist to the ribs. Marius loved me despite my numerous betrayals. His type of love didn’t come with expectations or motive. It was clean. It possessed a purity I wasn’t sure I deserved.
When he finally entered me, it didn’t hurt at all, so when tears sprung to my eyes I buried my head in Marius’ chest, forgetting the blindfold hid them. It didn’t matter; Marius had sensed it as he always did, taking away the mask to reveal his own streaked face.
Rather than stop, Marius took my hands in his, wrapping me around him like a vine seeking sun. As we sat up, he wiped my cheeks, letting me adjust to him at this new angle. I was cautious of where I looked, spreading my palms across his waist, lower abdomen, and thick thighs. Each portion of his body had been marked by another, and I could blot out their memories and leave better ones behind.
I wanted him to cover me, absorb everything I had. After all that had been done to him—the things he’d seen—Marius’ heart remained open. Along with Odette and Master Lyon, I was one of the chosen few, and I was thankful to any kind of god who had brought House Chimera into my life.
Whatever sharp agony awaited us, I had faith that Marius and I alone could rebuild whatever we burned to the ground.
Seven
We fell asleep tangled in one another, and for once my dreams didn’t become nightmares. Accompanied by the warmth of Marius’ naked body and the buzzing nothing that ensued after our lovemaking, I sank into the dark and let my mind run free.
“So you didn’t want to kiss my wife, Doe?” Master Lyon’s voice echoed in my head. “I think she wanted to kiss you.”
We were at home, in the greenhouse this time. All four of us were together under the cherry blossom tree, petals raining around us in the humid heat. My Owner’s fingers snaked around my throat as I sat between his legs. Marius was behind him, holding my thighs apart and whispering to Master Lyon in French I couldn’t make out. Kneeling on the stone before me was the Lady of House Chimera.
Odette’s honey locks were in tight curls to her shoulders, the way I remembered her from the Safehouse. The blue eyes that stared up at me were the same as then, too, and if I wasn’t careful, I would drown in their waves.
“Mon chaton,” she purred, slipping her silky black dress from her shoulders, “do you want to kiss me?”
Biting my lip, Master Lyon made me look at her as she undressed, the fabric slipping from her rich skin and gliding along the pronounced curves of her body. Next to her, I looked like a child; she was the woman I wanted to be, and if I couldn’t be her, at least I could have her. In my waking hours, these were thoughts I refused to entertain, but here it was safe. All mine.
“Yes, please,” I begged.
***
My eyes bolted open before I was fully awake, so when I saw Marius by the window to the outside balcony, I was hardly conscious of whether this was also part of the dream. If he noticed me stirring, it didn’t stop him from sliding open the glass and stepping outside. He hadn’t so much as wrapped a sheet around himself, arms stretched across the wooden banister as he stared down into the ocean crashing against the rocks in the moonlight. Likewise, it shined across the muscles of his back, shoulders, and legs. Every sculpted curve was beautiful; they belonged to a man who made me feel beautiful.
He’d left the door open, and the cool breeze wafted in smelling of salt and sand. Everything within me begged for more sleep, to fade away for a while longer, but I had him right now. Pulling the blanket from the bed, I held it close as I went to join him. Marius slid his gaze in my direction, but other than that he didn’t move. Together, we watched the dark water below, ignoring the growing light as the sky turned from black to deep blue.
Suddenly, he tugged the covers from where I covered my chest, wrapping it around my back and using it to pull me closer. Now he faced the outside world, and all I could see was him. Several times, it seemed as though he w
anted to tell me something, but he never said a word. It was mutual, this inability to describe what we needed each other to know. In every instance, it would sound like we were saying goodbye, and I wasn’t ready to face that.
Without knowing what I was doing, I kissed a line to his throat as I encircled him, and he bent to greet me, strong arms on either side of my waist as he inclined his head backwards. His chest seemed almost sensitive whenever I made contact, but he didn’t push me away. He didn’t ask me to stop. He wasn’t afraid of losing himself in me.
Releasing a deep groan, Marius held onto my shoulders as I knelt, the sheet grazing our skin as it fell to the ground. He leaned against the railing as I gripped his rigid length, which had grown hard from my touch alone. Marius made me feel powerful whether I was bound or free, and I wanted to give him the same gift, even if it would only last until the sun rose.
This close, it was hard to believe he had ever fit inside me, but my mouth opened to him without resistance. Clutching the hair close to my scalp, he guided my head until his legs began to shake, at which point, he pulled me to my feet. Marius spun me so fast I nearly lost my balance, but he was there behind me, nudging my ankles apart as I held the railing that overlooked the ocean.
Marius filled me, more desperate and rushed than earlier. I liked this side of him, and it only spurred me on as he rolled his hips and set a rhythm that made me cry into the black rocks below as the waves crashed into the surf. Biceps around my ribcage, Marius straightened me so I could feel every inch of him. I no longer needed the support in front of me as he held me tight to his body, one hand snaking between my legs and the other around my throat.
“Est-ce que tu vas t'en souvenir comme une bonne fille?” he rasped into my ear. Are you going to remember this like a good girl?
He loosened his grasp long enough to allow me to speak, and my voice came out strangled. “Oui, Maître.”
Marius toyed with the tight bundle of nerves, producing a shiver that seemed to both heat and cool my veins before I began to pulse around him. We both came undone, Marius falling back with me as the aftershocks tremored through us. There, we both fell asleep again, calm for the moment as the tide came in.
Kissing my forehead, he lingered against my skin, not wanting to move. But we both knew that wasn’t how it worked. Our lives weren’t ours. Not yet.
“Would you like to go for a swim?”
In the early light, it seemed ridiculous. We should have been preparing for what the day entailed, not distracting ourselves until the last minute. Wrapping his arm around my bare waist, he kissed me again, taking the chill out of the air around us. It was then I understood; he was trying to make our moments count, so when I was away and he was left wondering what was happening to me, he would have something else to recall instead. It was the same way I’d made peace with my decisions, and I could never deny him the same security.
“Yes, Mr. B.”
His smile was sad, but he took my hand and, naked, he guided me to the back steps where they led directly to the beach.
By the time the sun had fully risen, glinting off the waves, we were both spent, smelling of salt and each other. I would remember this, too. I wouldn’t forget a single detail.
The entire walk back to his room, Marius kept me close to his side, arm around my shoulder and my cheek against his bare skin. I’d never before seen him less inhibited about his scars, and the heat of pride spread through my chest.
I’d done that.
I could do so many things.
We bathed each other under the steaming stream of the main shower, taking our time like it wasn’t limited. Like it wouldn’t soon come to an end.
After we were dressed, Marius came to my room with a cup of tea, which I sipped as he combed my hair. Neither of us were very hungry, but we traipsed into the kitchen around noon. Though I asked to help as he made coffee and rummaged through the cabinets, he insisted I relax and let him do it himself. Not wanting to deny him the opportunity to serve me, I sat at the glass table where we’d both left our phones. Each had messages on them, and I could only guess who they were from.
Marius noticed how I held my device between my fingers, unsure whether I should read what was on it.
“Elliot?” he asked as he set down my cup.
I remembered the night before, how my Owner had interrupted us and what Marius had said to him. That I would talk to him when I was ready. Perhaps hearing his voice would change something, but it most likely wouldn’t. “What should I do?”
My voice came out too strained as Marius sat across from me. Something was cooking on the stove, but it must not have required much work. He gave me a partial smile. “Whatever you’d like.”
From across the room, I eyed the door to my bedroom, not wanting to do this in front of an audience. Picking up on this, Marius added, “I will wait.”
As if to demonstrate, he picked up his phone and began skimming through his own messages.
I stared at the number on my screen; I knew four, and my Owner’s was one of them. He’d left me only one voicemail, and my thumb hovered over the button that would play it. Standing, I glanced at Marius, shuffling to my room once he’d encouraged me with a nod.
My lips and tongue were dry as I shut the door behind me, as if my body itself rebelled against speaking to Master Lyon. Deep within me, I knew this was because I was terrified—of what he’d do if he found out, whether hearing him from across the world would make me reconsider.
Hitting play, I pressed the receiver to my ear.
“Good morning, Biche.” He spoke softly, as if I was in bed beside him and he didn’t want to wake me. “I’m boarding a flight out of Berlin. I stayed in an apartment near a botanical garden here. Even from this distance, I can see all the bright flowers of the lawn. I’d love for you to see it.” He paused as if scanning the horizon, imagining I was with him witnessing it all. “I will see you soon, mon coeur.”
The phone went silent, and suddenly I’d lost all my resolve. When I opened my texts, there were no words attached, just pictures of the gardens he’d mentioned pulled from the internet. The first showed the structure in its entirety, down to the fountain out front and the patio behind it where people had been posed to appear like they were eating as the dome of glass windows stole all the attention.
My vision blurred with unshed tears as I scrolled through the different trees and plants; the last was of a cherry blossom, and it nearly broke me.
It had been a mistake to hear my Owner, to see what filled his thoughts while he was trying to bring back his wife. Despite having talked to him the day before, I hadn’t been certain Master Lyon wasn’t still angry with what I’d done. This chipped away at that theory. On the contrary, he’d been thinking of me fondly, anxious to return to an empty house.
Deciding it was best to leave the phone on the bureau, I reentered the living space to find Marius washing the dishes when we had yet to eat. As soon as he heard me, he cut the water and faced me with a tight expression, which dissolved when he saw I’d been crying.
“How do you feel about going out?” he asked.
Right now, I felt like I wanted to climb every wall of the cottage, so I understood his need to leave. Drying his hands, Marius slid his phone into the back pocket of his jeans, which he’d also changed into since I’d last seen him—most likely anticipating my answer would be yes.
“There’s a tiny place down the road,” he added. “They don’t offer much, but I think a change of scenery would be nice, don’t you agree?”
Marius’ tone pinched something within me; professional, the butler of Lyon Estate. It was something he reserved for when he needed it, and whatever my Owner had said on his voicemail as we preoccupied ourselves with one another had brought it to the surface.
I hadn’t really been to many Mainworld places, and it was comforting there wouldn’t be too many people milling about. Besides, it was another memory I was eager to create; a new distraction while I still had the pr
ivilege of looking the opposite way.
“Sure, Mr. B.”
By the front door, he’d left the keys on an end table. “Here,” he said as I followed, turning to give me a pair of sunglasses in a cat eye shape. “I thought you might like your own.”
I smiled at him once they were balanced on the bridge of my nose, and Marius didn’t bother with his; when we stepped into the afternoon sun, his lenses became dark so he didn’t need the added protection. His hand remained on the small of my back all the way to the car, opening the passenger’s side door for me before I hopped inside.
It was a short ride from our front gate, and in less than ten minutes we were parking beside a square building painted yellow, where people ordered at the window and then ate at tall barstool tables where one could see the beach as well as a boardwalk in the distance, where a Ferris wheel lazily spun.
As we sat under a yellow umbrella at a table for two, a brother and sister around seven chased each other across the patio, cutting through the line of people waiting for their meals. I couldn’t decipher which Mainworlders happened to be their parents, and I worried someone would snatch them up, throw them into Compounds. Force them to live the way I had.
I was grateful we’d chosen seats facing the other activity across the water, where boats loomed and surfers glided over the waves. One of the children screeched when the other caught her and I jumped, eyes bolting in that direction.
Marius placed a hand on my shoulder. “They’re only playing,” he said gently, blocking my view anyway. “You stay here, all right?”
I nodded, reluctantly returning my gaze ahead of me. Marius returned shortly after, carrying a paper basket with fish and chips for each of us and bottles of water.
“There’s one in Paris,” he pointed out, gesturing to the Ferris wheel my eyes had drifted to while I ate. “A bit of a tourist attraction, but it’s pretty at night.”