“It’s a journal,” I explained. “Or a love letter. Maybe a cross between the two.” I folded my hands together in front of me to keep myself from fidgeting. “I picked it up at the airport the day I left Vermont. And I’ve been writing in it every week since I left.” I swallowed. “I’ve been writing it to you. For you.”
River’s eyes bounced over the pages as he turned them, and then they found mine, confusion written within the green depths.
That journal was one I’d written in religiously, and every entry started with My Dearest River.
I wrote to him about my travels, about the places I saw, the people I met. I shared the worst of weeks and the best of ones, too. I tried to explain the way I’d felt when I walked the streets of London, and the color of the sky as the sun set over Tuscany. I tried to imagine what he would have thought or felt if he were there with me.
I tried to write him into the story.
River turned another page, fingers tracing over the ink inside.
“I never stopped thinking of you,” I said softly. “I always wished you were with me, and all along, I knew that something was missing.”
River swallowed, nose flaring as he turned another page.
“I think I went looking for adventure, but what I didn’t realize was that I left the best one behind.”
At that, he stopped turning the pages, holding the book open in his hands and looking at me, instead. His eyes flicked back and forth between mine, and when a sheen of gloss covered them, emotion stole my next breath, tears building in my own eyes.
“You are my adventure, River,” I whispered helplessly, two tears streaming simultaneously down each of my cheeks at the admission. “Just as much as you are my home.”
I didn’t miss the quiver of his bottom lip where he kept it buckled, or the way his next breath shuddered a bit with the effort to bring new oxygen into his lungs.
And I just shrugged, knowing there was no other way to put it. “I am lost without you.”
As soon as the words left my lips, River blindly placed the journal on the kitchen counter behind him. Then, he swooped me into his arms, and I lost it.
I clung to him like life itself, wrapping my arms around his neck as his wound around my waist. He crushed me to him, and I tried to pull him closer still, sobbing into his shoulder.
“I don’t care if it’s in a big city or in another country or right here in this town we grew up in,” I said through my tears. “I want this. I want you. I’ll go wherever you want or stay right here in this tiny little cabin, as long as I can have you.”
River framed my face, shaking his head before he kissed me hard and promising. Both of our faces were bent in agony, like that kiss killed us as much as it brought back every ounce of life we’d been missing.
“I thought I lost you again,” he said, his words shaky and strained.
I clung to him tighter. “Oh, baby. You never lost me at all.”
He shook his head, like he still couldn’t believe I was there in his arms, before he met me with another long, deep kiss. Then, he was helping me strip out of my coat, my scarf, my hat and gloves and boots. He took me in his arms as soon as I was rid of my outerwear, and then he pulled me into his lap on the couch, surrounding me with his arms, his kisses, his love.
For a long while, we sat there just like that, holding each other and kissing and crying and not saying a single word. My heart surged with relief. My soul cried out in victory at finally being found. Every molecule of who I was came to life with that man by my side.
“Maybe you can have both,” River said softly, when my cheeks were rosy and flushed from kissing.
“Both?”
“Me, and adventure.”
I smiled, tapping his chest with my palm. “You are my adventure, silly. Weren’t you listening?”
His eyes gleamed in the firelight as they searched mine. “Let’s go, Eliza.”
“Go?” I frowned.
“Let’s do one more year out in the big wide world,” he said. “But this time, we do it together.”
My lips parted. “I… what are you saying?”
“One year. One year of going, doing, seeing. One year of exploring together. Then, we can decide what we want, where we want to settle — if we want to settle at all.” He shook his head. “When you left, I let you go. I chose to stay here with my father, and I don’t…” River swallowed. “I don’t know that I regret that choice, because I loved those last months I had with my father. With my mother.”
I squeezed him where I held him, letting him know I was there.
“But I lost you in the process. And now that I have you again, now that I know you were always mine just as I was always yours… I don’t want to make another mistake. So, let’s go. Let’s see it all before we make a decision about what happens next.”
My heart swelled. “You really mean it?”
“Yeah,” River said on a nod. “Yeah, I really do. I want you, Eliza,” he whispered, sliding his hand back over my cheek, fingers tangling in my hair. “And I want you to have your adventure, too.”
I leaned into his palm, closing my eyes on a long breath before I kissed his warm skin, thinking over the life we’d already lived together, all the things we’d been through. “I think I’ve already had it.”
But River shook his head, pulling me closer and whispering his own declaration over my lips before he kissed them, long and sweet.
“I think it’s only just begun.”
Moose hopped up onto the couch, practically right on top of us until we wiggled to make room for him, too. I laughed, kissing his head and rubbing behind his ears.
Then, River reached behind me, where the Christmas Blanket was hanging over the back of the couch. He smiled at me as he unfolded it, spreading it across the three of us, and then he took me and Moose both into his arms, holding us there by the fire.
When he gave me that blanket, he made a promise — that he would never stop fighting for us.
I knew as I held him in front of that fire, as he ran his hands through my hair and kissed my forehead softly, that his promise was true.
And that I would never stop fighting for us, either.
My heart fluttered, a smile spreading on my lips as I wrapped us up tighter in the blanket that brought me back to who I’d always been. I wished I’d never lost sight of that girl in the first place, but perhaps it made it sweeter now, knowing she was always there all along, knowing that River knew that, too, and that he believed I’d come back to him, just as I believed he’d never leave me, no matter how far away I went.
“Merry Christmas, baby,” River whispered.
And I smiled, and held him closer, and thanked God for blizzards. “Merry Christmas.”
Thank you for reading The Christmas Blanket! I wrote this little story because it was what my soul was craving this holiday season. I wanted to feel warm and cozy and hopeful, to wrap myself up in everything powerful and all-consuming about love. I hope you felt that, too.
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And if you liked The Christmas Blanket, you’ll love my Becker Brothers series – free with Kindle Unlimited! It follows four brothers finding love in a small Tennessee town, and trying to solve the mystery of their father’s death along the way. Start with book one, On the Rocks.
Or, if you’d rather a sports romance, I’m a huge football gal and this is my favorite season of the year. I’ve got two football books that you’ll love if you’re an NFL fan like me. Start with The Wrong Game, free with Kindle Unlimited!
All My Love,
Kandi
The Becker Brothers Series
On the Rocks (book 1)
Neat (book 2)
Manhattan (book 3)
Old Fashioned (book 4)
&n
bsp; Four brothers finding love in a small Tennessee town that revolves around a whiskey distillery with a dark past — including the mysterious death of their father.
The Best Kept Secrets Series
What He Doesn’t Know (book 1)
What He Always Knew (book 2)
What He Never Knew (book 3)
Charlie’s marriage is dying. She’s perfectly content to go down in the flames, until her first love shows back up and reminds her the other way love can burn.
Make Me Hate You
Jasmine has been avoiding her best friend’s brother for years, but when they’re both in the same house for a wedding, she can’t resist him — no matter how she tries.
The Wrong Game
Gemma’s plan is simple: invite a new guy to each home game using her season tickets for the Chicago Bears. It’s the perfect way to avoid getting emotionally attached and also get some action. But after Zach gets his chance to be her practice round, he decides one game just isn’t enough. A sexy, fun sports romance.
The Right Player
She’s avoiding love at all costs. He wants nothing more than to lock her down. Sexy, hilarious and swoon-worthy, The Right Player is the perfect read for football season!
On the Way to You
It was only supposed to be a road trip, but when Cooper discovers the journal of the boy driving the getaway car, everything changes. An emotional, angsty road trip romance.
A Love Letter to Whiskey
An angsty, emotional romance between two lovers fighting the curse of bad timing.
Weightless
Young Natalie finds self-love and romance with her personal trainer, along with a slew of secrets that tie them together in ways she never thought possible.
Revelry
Recently divorced, Wren searches for clarity in a summer cabin outside of Seattle, where she makes an unforgettable connection with the broody, small town recluse next door.
Black Number Four
A college, Greek-life romance of a hot young poker star and the boy sent to take her down.
The Palm South University Series
Rush (book 1) ➔ FREE if you sign up for my newsletter!
Anchor, PSU #2
Pledge, PSU #3
Legacy, PSU #4
#1 NYT Bestselling Author Rachel Van Dyken says, “If Gossip Girl and Riverdale had a love child, it would be PSU.” This angsty college series will be your next guilty addiction.
Tag Chaser
She made a bet that she could stop chasing military men, which seemed easy — until her knight in shining armor and latest client at work showed up in Army ACUs.
Song Chaser
Tanner and Kellee are perfect for each other. They frequent the same bars, love the same music, and have the same desire to rip each other’s clothes off. Only problem? Tanner is still in love with his best friend.
Kandi Steiner is a bestselling author and whiskey connoisseur living in Tampa, FL. Best known for writing “emotional rollercoaster” stories, she loves bringing flawed characters to life and writing about real, raw romance — in all its forms. No two Kandi Steiner books are the same, and if you’re a lover of angsty, emotional, and inspirational reads, she’s your gal.
An alumna of the University of Central Florida, Kandi graduated with a double major in Creative Writing and Advertising/PR with a minor in Women’s Studies. She started writing back in the 4th grade after reading the first Harry Potter installment. In 6th grade, she wrote and edited her own newspaper and distributed to her classmates. Eventually, the principal caught on and the newspaper was quickly halted, though Kandi tried fighting for her “freedom of press.” She took particular interest in writing romance after college, as she has always been a die hard hopeless romantic, and likes to highlight all the challenges of love as well as the triumphs.
When Kandi isn’t writing, you can find her reading books of all kinds, talking with her extremely vocal cat, and spending time with her friends and family. She enjoys live music, traveling, hiking, anything heavy in carbs, beach days, movie marathons, craft beer and sweet wine — not necessarily in that order.
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The Christmas Blanket: A Second-Chance Holiday Romance Page 9