by Robin Roseau
“Why is that?”
“It would be far too chilly. It can grow warm in the summer months, but the temperature tends to drop quickly at night.”
“You would be all goose bumps.”
She laughed. “Quite so.”
“Is this what you always wear?” I asked, gesturing to her leather. “It is quite commanding.”
“This is most typical for a citizen of Ressaline,” she said. “It fits our climate.”
We reached our carriage. Olivia was standing beside it. I stepped forward and offered a kiss to her cheek and received one to my own. I climbed into the carriage to find Kylia already seated, so I laughed and gave her a kiss to her cheek then took my seat. Olivia and Lisolte climbed in, and then we were moving.
“So, we have traded dates?” I asked.
“Do you mind?” Olivia asked.
“No.” I turned my gaze to Kylia. “Do you intend to ask me out, too?”
She smiled. “You do realize what is happening to our reputations, don’t you?”
“What reputation?” I asked. “No one knows who I am.”
She snorted, and then Lisolte said, “Allium and I were comparing clothing styles.”
“I am surprised you can wear this,” I said with a gesture. “You’re lucky it isn’t high summer. If you had come two months sooner, you would be boiling.”
“We chose early autumn carefully,” Olivia said. “There is undoubtedly snow in Ressaline City, and here you are in this thin dress with only an equally thin wrap for your shoulders.”
“In another month, you will begin to see far more wool,” Kylia said. “With cotton or, for those who can afford it, silk against our skin.”
“What is silk?” Lisolte asked.
Kylia smiled. “I showed you some last night.”
“You did?”
“You seemed to like it,” Kylia added. “You kept stroking it.” I snorted but didn’t say anything.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“In fact, now you even own some silk,” Kylia said. “As you refused to give it back this morning.”
Olivia and I both snorted at the same time. Lisolte’s mouth opened widely, then she snapped it shut.
“I wouldn’t mind,” Kylia said. “Except I’m pretty sure you can’t wear it, and so it’s only a trophy, a rather expensive trophy.”
“For that little scrap?” Lisolte asked.
“Watch what you’re calling a scrap,” Kylia demanded.
Lisolte said nothing for a minute, and then her expression changed. She turned to look at me. “Will I be acquiring a second piece of silk tonight?”
“No.” It was Kylia’s turn to offer a short laugh. I paused for effect then said, “I am on a government salary, and mine is not the sort of position that offers opportunity to enhance my salary.”
Kylia chuckled. Olivia’s lips tightened, but Lisolte put on a puzzled look. “She just said no one bribes someone who builds roads.”
“My joke fell flat with you, Olivia.”
“I wasn’t sure it was a joke, or wondered if it was at my expense.”
“I’m sorry,” I told her. “It’s actually a stale joke at the office. No one takes a job such as mine to get rich, and we’re not pleased when we see those officials who clearly enhance their income.”
“I understand now,” Olivia said. She offered a smile.
I turned back to Lisolte. “That was my way of saying I don’t own any silk.” I turned to Kylia. “The queen has an entire dress of silk.”
“She has more than one.”
“And each probably costs my annual salary,” I added.
“You know, if Lisolte doesn’t give them back, those will be the most expensive six orgasms I’ve ever had.”
“Six?” I echoed. “Six?” In response, Lisolte laughed, blew on her fingernails, and buffed them against her chest.
That was when Olivia asked, “So, Kylia. Will I be seeing silk later?”
“No,” Kylia said. She paused. “Now that I know Ressalines like to claim trophies, I’m wearing the cheap stuff.”
* * * *
We continued to tease each other during the ride. Once we arrived, I had a moment to greet the others, exchanging hugs and little cheek kisses with several of them, although both Bee and Dee were quite forward, and Dee whispered, “No one can see,” when she began rubbing my bottom. “I like Flarvorian clothing. This is more satisfying than rubbing you through leather, although I’d love to see you in resin.”
I laughed. “No resin here.”
“I know.”
But then Lisolte reclaimed me.
We sat for dinner. Lisolte was a brilliant conversationalist, which I already knew, and an intense flirt. It was quite overwhelming, and I soaked up the attention, offering my own in return, but I didn’t feel I was giving remotely as well as I was receiving. I apologized for that.
“This is my way,” she said. “The evening is perfect.”
Shortly after that, the performances began. Tonight, it was a series of stand-up comics. Most of them were quite funny, although some of the jokes relied on cultural awareness the Ressalines didn’t have. Olivia quietly told me not to worry about that; they were having a good time but knew they wouldn’t understand every joke.
At least one of the comics realized some of her jokes were falling flat on our section of the room, and she moved to the section of the stage closest to us. “Can’t you hear me over here?” Speaking more loudly and more slowly, as if speaking to a particular old and dull-witted person, she repeated a few of her jokes that had fallen flat. The rest of the audience thought that was funny, but when she didn’t get the desired reaction from the Ressalines, she clearly grew frustrated. “What is wrong with you? That’s funny.”
Olivia sighed. “Why is it funny?”
“Excuse me?”
Olivia stood up and made her way closer to the woman on the stage. “Can you understand me through my accent?” She spoke the same way the woman had, slowly and loudly.
“You mean your speech impediment?” the woman asked. A few people laughed, but not many. I decided at that moment I didn’t like her. Oh, she’d been funny, but I found it unlikely she was a nice person.
“Tell me,” said Olivia. “How many comics does it take to recognize someone is from another country?” And she made a gesture to herself and offered a little curtsey besides. She was dressed in her leathers, clothing that didn’t even exist in Flarvor. Yes, we used leather, but it would never even occur to any of us to dress as the Ressalines did. And then Olivia said, “Clearly, more than one.”
She got a laugh.
“Miss,” Olivia continued. “Some of your jokes are quite good. But I do not understand why you feel your last joke is funny.”
“But it’s obvious!”
“Explain it to me.”
“You would have to be an escapee from some sort of institution to not get it.”
There was a collective gasp. My lips tightened, and the only reason I didn’t begin screaming at the woman was because I had faith Lady Olivia would defend herself. But Rishia stood up and said, “Lady Olivia.”
Olivia turned her head. Rishia began moving towards her but said quite clearly, “Ms. Baryte is wearing a lovely dress, don’t you think?”
“It is quite fetching,” Olivia replied.
Rishia reached Olivia’s side. “Blue,” Rishia said. “But you know? I can imagine she would look so much better in a different shade of blue. Wouldn’t you agree?”
Around me, every single Ressaline, plus Kylia, chuckled. Claary laughed. A few of the audience members laughed weakly, but I didn’t get the joke, and I don’t imagine they did, either.
Rishia looked up at the woman. “Who writes your material, Ms. Baryte?”
“I don’t know what you’re asking.”
“Most of your jokes are good. Some are quite clever. Maybe you write some of your jokes, but someone else writes the best ones for you. I
want to congratulate that person.”
There were a few people who exclaimed, “ooh,” and more than a few laughs.
The woman stared at Rishia then said, “Well! I never!” Then spun and ran from the stage.
For a moment, no one spoke, and then Rishia said, “If she never, that may explain a few things.” Then the host came back onto the stage, asked for applause for the previous comic, and invited the next.
Now, she was funny. It was even funnier when after telling a joke that the Ressalines didn’t understand, she came over and, in slow and painstaking detail, explained why it was funny. But what was clever was that her explanations were at least as funny as the jokes themselves, and since when is a joke funny if you have to explain it? But she did, and after one telling, Lisolte was rubbing laughter tears from her eyes.
At the end, she said, “Hari is my cousin. I give her my weakest material.”
She accepted her applause and turned to exit the stage, but Olivia stood and yelled, “Ms. Feldspar. Ms. Feldspar.”
The woman turned and faced her, then quieted the audience. “Yes, Good Lady?”
“Would you care to join us for the remainder of the show?”
“I would,” she said. “Thank you, everyone.” And then, to more applause, she found the stairs leading our direction and wove her way to us, saying a little something at a few of the other tables before reaching Lady Olivia. “I wasn’t sure you wanted me to announce your name to everyone.”
“I imagine some know,” Olivia told her. “Let us make room.”
* * * *
“Would you walk with us, Ms. Feldspar? Do you have things in back you must collect, or is your cousin expecting you?”
“She fled. I’d love to walk with you.”
And so, we stepped outside and then clustered together near our waiting carriages. Olivia provided introductions, and then Ms. Feldspar said, “Please, call me Tess. It is my pleasure.”
“Could I ask an intrusive question?” Olivia requested.
“I don’t promise to answer.”
“Are you married? Do you have children waiting at home for their mother?”
“No, and no. I was engaged, an arrangement that pleased my mother, but he was a cad, and I grew a backbone.”
“Well, I am sorry and pleased together,” Olivia replied. “Do you know why we’re in Barrish?”
“I imagine the usual, bribing government officials and the like.” She offered a smile. “I’m sorry. I have no idea.”
“It’s simple. We’re being good neighbors. Officially we’re calling it a cultural exchange. Making worthy friends is one of our goals.”
“I believe you imply I should be flattered.”
“I wonder if you would help us achieve our goal.”
Tess smiled broadly. “So, you would like me to teach you how to make friends with a Flarvorian.”
“Perhaps a very specific Flarvorian,” Olivia said. “Would you join us? We have nothing special in mind. We’re heading back to The Green Room and will simply chat over a glass or two.”
“I’d love to, Lady Olivia.”
“Perhaps I might have a moment with Tess,” I said. Before anyone could comment, I stepped to her side and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. She took it in stride and wrapped hers around my waist. “I’m sure you’ll have seating arranged. I just need a moment.” I tugged and got Tess moving along the sidewalk with me.
“Was I mistaken?” she asked me. “It appeared you are on a date. I’ve heard that about Ressalines, women dating women, but you’re Flarvorian.”
“It’s been an interesting week,” I said. “They’re passing me around. You’re a very clever woman.”
“Thank you. Are you about to warn me not to insult the duchess?”
“No. There are two women dressed in very unexpected clothing.”
“They’re all in unexpected clothing.”
“These two are in bright red and stand out.”
“Oh. I wondered about them.”
“They’re very sweet,” I said. “Don’t make fun of them.”
“I can insult the duchess, but hands off those two?”
“Come to your own conclusions about them, but treat them sweetly. They will appear childlike. They’re exceedingly clever. Just be gentle.”
“Sure,” she said. “Were you worried?”
“I didn’t want you to make a mistake,” I said. I got us turned around. “How much of your cousin’s material do you write?”
“Only the parts that are funny,” she said. “She’s actually exceedingly good at delivery. She has a sense of timing, and she figures out which line of jokes aren’t going to work. That’s why she grew frustrated. She couldn’t figure out why her jokes weren’t working.”
“Cultural references.”
“I know. Even if she’d figured that out, it probably wouldn’t have helped her.”
“Well, you were quite funny.”
We reached Olivia and Lisolte. Olivia had shifted people around, and she was standing beside the largest coach. She handed us in. Kylia was already inside along with Bee and Dee. They saw us and clapped with glee. “You were very funny, Ms. Feldspar!” Dee said.
“Tess, these are Bee and Dee. I don’t know how Olivia is able to tell them apart.”
“Please sit here,” Dee said, sliding sideways and leaving room for Tess. “May we touch you?” Tess gave me a look, but she took the offered seat.
She didn’t answer Dee, so Bee said, “We’re not allowed to touch unless we have permission. Please say ‘yes’, Ms. Feldspar.”
Olivia and Lisolte settled in, but Tess gave me a look. I smiled. “They’re very sweet. If you tell them ‘Yes’, they’ll flirt your ass off.”
“I wish you meant that literally,” she replied. “I wouldn’t mind if my ass were a little smaller.”
“Why would you say that?” Bee asked. “You have a lovely bottom.”
“It’s perfect,” Dee added. “But we can only see it through your dress. Maybe you should let us undress you for an unobstructed view. Please tell us we may touch you.”
She looked back and forth between them then looked across to me. I smiled. “Would you like my advice?”
“I would love your advice.”
“Unless they’re offending you, or you’re a total prude, go with it.”
“If you don’t like something they do,” Olivia added, “Tell them. They’ll stop.”
Tess stared at me then finally said, “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“Yes, actually.”
“Is ‘touch’ a euphemism?”
“No,” Olivia said. “Although they’ll be as forward as they think you’ll enjoy.”
Tess nodded then turned to Bee. “You may touch.”
“Both of us?” she asked.
“Both of you,” she agreed.
The two squealed and immediately pressed into Tess, one on each side. Bee laid her head on Tess’s shoulder, and from that point forward, they spent most of the remaining evening touching her. They were fairly innocent touches, although I caught both of them rubbing Tess’s bottom later.
And yes, I thought it was a perfect bottom, too.
* * * *
We arrived at The Green Room. Tess said something to Dee then stepped over and took me away from Lisolte. Lisolte relinquished me, and I found myself walking with Tess. “What’s up with those two?”
“Are they offending you?”
“No. Everyone talks in front of them like they aren’t there, though. And they said they need permission. I’m missing something important, aren’t I?”
“I wanted you to actually meet them before I told you. And I will also tell you I’ve already tried to do something about this, so don’t get too worked up.”
“I’m going to get worked up?”
“They’re slaves. They belong to Olivia.”
“What?”
“I tried to free them.” I gave her the half-minute explanation. “
I tell you, if someone enslaved me, I think I could do a whole lot worse than Olivia. She is very kind to them, as you perhaps have seen.”
“She ordered them to…” She trailed off.
“I doubt it, but I wasn’t there when she said whatever she said. She probably gave them permission to touch, but that they had to ask your permission. The euphemism appears to be the word ‘play’.”
“I think they’re trying to seduce me.”
“I wouldn’t doubt it,” I said.
“Have they already seduced you?”
“No. But there’s a dance game they play, and if you’re invited, say ‘Yes’.”
“We’re not the only people with cultural references,” she said. “I’m really supposed to let them…” She trailed off again.
“If you enjoy the attention, I guess so.”
“If they were guys, I’d hate it,” she said. “But I look into Dee’s eyes, and I don’t know how long I could say ‘no’.”
“Olivia says the same thing.”
“You’re right, though. They’re childlike, but they’re not at all children.”
“They’re exceedingly bright, but they radiate joy. Dancing with them…” I shook myself. “You can feel the joy. It becomes palpable.”
“I believe you. I don’t understand it, but I believe you.”
I shrugged. “I don’t think any of our rules apply. What are you going to do?”
“I have no idea.” She looked over her shoulder. “They’re watching us. One of them is staring at your ass.”
“Are you sure it’s not your ass?”
“That’s where the other one is looking.”
I laughed and then wriggled a little. From behind me, I heard a pair of tiny squeals.
“I understand why you warned me,” Tess said. “Thank you. I think I’m just going to enjoy myself. I could use a bit of that.”
“Couldn’t we all?” I agreed.
She slipped away from me and walked to the twins. Everyone came to a stop. I wondered what she’d say. “Did Lady Olivia order you to be nice to me?”
“No,” Dee said. “She gave us permission.”
Tess nodded. “All right then.”
They squealed again and ran to her, each grabbing an arm. “You’re ours now.”
“All right,” she said again. “But I’m here to make friends, so you can’t distract me too much.”