It made me think, I must admit this now, because Mary Sue-Ellen had a valid point. Why could she not obtain the satisfaction she so desired? Was it psychoses to want something such as that?
We discussed it at great length and I felt myself challenged by her intelligence. This was not just some woman off the street destined to be pregnant in the kitchen.
I asked her to tell her story from her own perspective, to explain to me how it was she came to be here, in this asylum. What had possessed her to use her husband’s own genitalia to rape him?
Her answer was simpler than I expected. She wanted him to feel what it felt like when someone, and I do quote, ‘shoves their cock inside of you like some piece of meat.’ She knew full well what she was doing.
I had to change my approach to the problem. I saw then that the problem was not only within Mary Sue-Ellen’s mind, but with her body. By removing her husband’s penis and ‘attaching’ it to herself, and using it as an extension of her own sexual organ, she rerouted her brain to think that she was now male. I told her I would come back to her with the next step of the treatment, and retired to my rooms. This certainly did propose an interesting idea, which I could publish to the medical community.
What if I cure Mary Sue-Ellen’s mind, by fixing her body?
This was clearly a case of misdiagnosis. I felt excited that I could assist her become the person she needed to be. A simple body modification and I could cure her psychoses.
The following day I made contact with her and made sure to convey, if she was a willing participant, I would gladly make all her dreams come true. However, I knew the orderlies could not be trusted with her post care, so I would keep her in a separate section of the asylum with orderlies of my own. I needed to speak to Wellbottom and to find someone I could trust. Maybe I could approach some of the less verbal, more obedient patients to assist me.
That’s what I wanted to do and it is exactly what I did once I had consent from Mary Sue-Ellen.
She was so excited.
I was excited. I couldn’t contain myself.
I spent the last few days preparing for it. I managed to secure two patients that were mute but not deaf. They were simple-minded and with the promise of special privileges they were happy to do whatever I asked. Cecil and Wayne, the two patients who are now my orderlies, carefully organised everything for me while I prepared the most important piece.
The silicon makeshift penis that would serve as Mary Sue-Ellen’s new appendage had to be carefully crafted. I visited the morgue, where they had several embalmed patients. They were to be disposed of in a mass grave outside of the asylum. I quickly found a fully embalmed male patient and carefully removed his penis and testicles, including the skin that encased the appendages.
I am prepared and tomorrow, oh, tomorrow is going to go down in history.
I have already figured out how to ensure that Mary Sue-Ellen can still urinate. I have inserted a plastic tube through the penis that will be placed in line with her urethra so that she can relieve herself without issue. I have also fashioned a pump that will enable her to harden the appendage for sexual acts.
I don’t know if it will last; I’ve put it together rather quickly, but if this is a successful operation I can make her a more permanent appendage. At the very least I can use the temporary attachment to test if it assists in improving her state of mind.
I need to rest. It is going to be a long procedure tomorrow. I will need to concentrate carefully.
28 June 1950
I finished the operation in the early hours of this morning. It is now just past three and Mary Sue-Ellen is resting in her new room. I gave her extra morphine to assist with the process. I want to record my notes now, though, while they are still fresh in my mind.
Cecil and Wayne spent the entire time cleaning out her new room, sterilising it for post-surgery. They did this while I prepared. The instruments were all cleaned. I gave Mary Sue-Ellen the anaesthetic so that she was knocked out completely.
The process was simple enough. I aligned the tube in the appendage to Mary Sue-Ellen’s urethra and with a series of stitches I attached it to her. This was complicated in itself, because I had to make sure there will be no leakages or blockages. We do not want the appendage to swell with urine and leak out the sides. Aside from the stench, the infection will cause it to fall off. I put in extra stitches around the opening to make sure it is sealed.
I used the pump to inflate the appendage, to see if it would stay hard. At this point I had to administer more morphine as Mary Sue-Ellen started to wake up. I needed her to remain under so I could complete the rest of my tests.
I started by inserting a syringe of water into the appendage and gently squeezing to ensure there were no leaks. The water ran out as it should, at the same time flushing out any particulates that remained. It looked mostly like dry blood. The next test was to ensure the testicles won’t move out of place. To do this I held them in my open hand and bounced them up and down, mimicking the way they would move when having sex. They didn’t shift any more than they should and the stitches held.
Once satisfied with the results, I bandaged her up and covered her body. I summoned Cecil and Wayne to move her to her room and retired to my own quarters.
This is where I now sit, making my notes, and feeling exhaustion fall upon me, like a curtain closing.
I must rest because I am sure, when Mary Sue-Ellen awakes, she will be in pain and I will need to attend to her immediately. I also need to ensure I keep accurate notes of what is happening.
29 June 1950
This morning I found Mary Sue-Ellen shivering in agony as I entered her quarters. I checked her vitals and from what I could tell she had a fever. I needed to ensure that the appendage wasn’t infected in any way or this cure would not work. I lifted the blanket up to inspect the appendage and saw, when she had awoken, she had undone the bandages that held it in place and tried to stroke it, play with it, feel it, and had accidentally ripped open her stitches.
I quickly went back to the laboratory to obtain my morphine and instruments, still bloodied from the operation yesterday. I returned to her side and dosed her with morphine to knock her out. I then attended to reattaching the penis, ensuring it was flush.
I had not accounted for her waking up and having the compulsion of touching and playing with herself. I hadn’t taken into consideration her mental instability. Once I fixed the damage she caused, I put her into restraints so that she couldn’t again pull out her stitches prematurely. As an added measure, I threw in a few more stitches to ensure it was secure.
There was nothing to do but wait for her to wake so that I could observe, make notes and draw my conclusions. I found it all so exciting. That was until she woke up.
Mary Sue-Ellen shrieked as though possessed. She begged me to untie her, to let her touch it, to let her play with her ‘dick’. I tried to calm her, but she fought against her restraints, humping her hips to mimic the movements of a sexual encounter. She wanted it to happen now, she wanted to use it. I tried explaining it needed to heal first, but she would not be placated. I eventually used chloroform to subdue her. I then tasked Wayne with giving her more should she wake up violent once more.
I was hoping that the addition of the appendage will be enough to satiate her and cure her of her mental affliction, but I fear I may have made it worse. She may just require time to heal; time to adjust to her new body. I will see what morning brings.
30 June 1950
The idiot! The barbaric, retarded idiot! I cannot believe I allowed that fool to administer the drugs to Mary Sue-Ellen. Instead of getting her to inhale a small dose of chloroform to keep her subdued, that blundering simplistic Wayne overdosed her with a combination of chloroform and morphine.
I found him sitting in the corner of her room, having defecated in his own trousers, rocking back and forth mouthing the word ‘mama’ - who only existed in his own mind as she had been dead for years now, after he murdered her in
a fit of rage. A lobotomy corrected his murderous tendency, but seemed to have dulled every other aspect of his brain.
Foolishly I believed his ability to follow exact instructions allowed him to manage the minor task of administering medication. I clearly overreached, and although I am angry with the idiot for what he has cost me, I too am at fault here and the blame is on my shoulders. I will not make the same mistake again.
At least one good result to come from this is that I could now perform an autopsy on Mary Sue-Ellen De Clara and discover what lies beneath the skin. I was forced to smack Wayne to bring him back to his senses, but it caused him to cry harder. I struck him again and this time he stopped, staring at me. I assured him it was not his fault, and sent him to bed.
Once Cecil joined me after his breakfast, I had him assist me in moving Mary Sue-Ellen’s body to the table I previously designated for autopsies and then allowed him a free day. I do not need them for this part. For the sake of making things simpler, I will copy my medical notes below.
Mary Sue-Ellen De Clara
Age: 37
Cause of death: Accidental overdose
Patient notes
- Patient diagnosed with acute dwarfism at birth
- Institutionalised at Asylum for Psychosis
- Patient attacked husband during sexual intercourse; removed his genitals; attached them to herself; and raped him anally
- Patient shows no sign of improvement. Mental issues stem from desire to have a penis after attacking husband
- Successfully attached male genitalia to patient to ease mental break
- Patient unruly and did not respond well at first, had to be restrained and sedated
- Patient did not respond well after waking up the second time
- Patient died from accidental overdose
Autopsy notes
- Used a needle to extract samples of fluid from her blood and eyes for later research.
- Removed the penis and testicles I had attached and placed them in a jar filled with formaldehyde for preservation.
- Examined her female genitalia and found nothing out of the ordinary
- Upon slicing her torso open I found all her internal organs accounted for
- Weighed each one and found them to be of a weight I would expect for a person of her size
- After removed the top of her skull and extracted her brain - it did not appear out of the ordinary in any way
The final conclusion I can draw is that her illness did not manifest itself physically in her body, or at least that it did not leave visible signs. I will need to study it closer. I therefore preserved it in formaldehyde for later scrutiny. I intend to slice it piece by piece and examine each sliver closely.
Luckily in this asylum there are more than sufficient patients for me to study. I am able to continue with my good work. Until then, I need to go back to the case files to see who I will assist next.
Chapter Two
HANS
9 July 1950
I have been spending most of my days and nights reading through the various case files available to me. At first I was not sure I will find another patient who can use my assistance, but then I decided to implement a better system.
Starting with the patients admitted first, I will work my way through to the patients institutionalised most recently. Older patient files, while thicker, are poorly kept. The notes previous doctors made are barely legible chicken scratches and are mostly just prescriptions for adjusted medication. Nothing about their mental capabilities or probable causes of their conditions.
I did find, particularly in patients admitted for criminal reasons, accompanying police files with case notes in it. With this I can at least ascertain reasons as to why they are here in the first place, and start working from there.
The strangest case I happened upon is one of homosexuality. It is not uncommon for patients to be treated for homosexuality, but the choice of using shock therapy is a surprising one. Not to mention that this particular case, Mr Tate Wilson, has been in the Asylum for over thirty years. Most patients suffering from homosexuality will be treated and then released, and monitored outside of the institution.
Yes, I have decided that Tate Wilson will be my next patient. I have heard of fascinating tales from other scientists, how, in cases where homosexuality is not cured by electroshock therapy, conversion therapy is an option.
Of course, this is still being tested and researched, but it is certainly something I am interested in adding my name to. I have studied Tate’s file carefully and it seems, although he has forgotten large chunks of his past due to the electroshock therapy, he still retains the desire to fornicate with men. This is most evident in how he constantly touches other patients inappropriately, along with lewd remarks he makes to male orderlies.
I can help him, I know I can. I have read sufficient material to begin the gender conversion therapy and, if I can cure him, I will have cured one of the oldest patients in the facility. I’m going to take the time to observe him. I want to see what makes him tick, what excites him.
16 June 1950
The last few days have been quite informative. Tate Wilson certainly has deep-rooted issues with homosexuality. Every time a male passes him he reaches out to touch his anus. He seems to have a fascination with it, groping the cheeks roughly and making moaning sounds as he does so.
The most fascinating aspect I noticed about his interactions with the male patients and orderlies is that he never gropes their penis or testicles. He is solely interested in their buttocks.
I have the perfect treatment plan and I cannot wait to begin. I have submitted to Wellbottom to hand Tate Wilson over to me.
Wellbottom doesn’t seem to care much for the wellbeing of his patients, except for those in ‘A’ ward. The rich who check themselves in, those who cannot handle the pressures of everyday life and treat the Asylum as a convalescent retreat with the added benefit of chemical intervention to ease their afflictions. I cannot stand that kind. Those who don’t require any assistance except to be taken from their nanny’s lactating breast so that they can grow up sooner.
No, he doesn’t care how I treat the other patients as long as it doesn’t ‘come back to him’ in any way or affect his profit from his special guests. Turning over Tate Wilson is as nothing to him. He doesn’t understand that he has a goldmine of research and medical possibilities right at his fingertips.
Tomorrow I am spending the day observing Tate while he is restrained, in order to get a better idea of what he is about, what excites him sexually. This way I can ensure that I have planned the correct treatment going forward.
17 June 1950
Tate Wilson is such a straightforward case of sexual confusion that I cannot understand why they thought treating him with electroshock therapy will help. Although it is known that electroshock therapy can cause memory loss, as in Tate’s case, there is no evidence it will necessarily make them forget or purge their sexual desires. Unfortunately, with his memory loss, I cannot now discover if he suffered trauma as a child that led to his current state. I curse Wellbottom for his lack of foresight in Tate’s case.
Tate kept making lewd remarks about wanting to see my buttocks bare. He wants to touch it and lick it, he wants to penetrate it. I note this now, because I find this particularly interesting. When I spoke to him about penis and testicles, he seemed to shy away a bit before changing the topic back to anal sexual gratification. For me this indicates that Tate may not be homosexual at all, but rather simply fascinated with anal intercourse, and for some reason thought the only way to obtain this was to interact with males.
After I had Tate taken back to his room I retired to my quarters to finalise my treatment plan. I know exactly how to move forward. Although I still feel a loss for Mary Sue-Ellen, I am extremely positive about Tate. I will start in three days’ time.
20 June 1950
After careful consideration over the last few days, I believe I truly have the perfect
treatment plan. The best way to correct Tate’s way of thinking is to allow him to satisfy his urges with a male body. I will then permit him to sodomize a female body (while leading him to believe it is a male). After a few acts I will reveal the truth and hopefully he will realise that the right woman can satisfy his urges just as well as a man can.
Working out my method, I have decided on some of the cadavers in the morgue. They are preserved there and once their autopsies are complete they are sent to the crematorium to be burned, or buried in the graveyard behind the Asylum.
Tate doesn’t need to know what condition they are in, and he’s certainly not mentally stable enough to pass any comments to the orderlies or Wellbottom before my experiment is complete. This is going to change the world of gender correction therapy.
First thing in the morning I will speak to Wellbottom. For now, I have to figure out how to make the bodies ‘lifelike’ once more so that Tate isn’t confused, and how to dispose of them afterwards.
24 June 1950
I don’t like to brag, but I have to admit that my latest idea is genius. Once I figured out how to ‘reanimate’ corpses for the purpose of Tate’s therapy, I quickly realised the same method can be used to dispose of the bodies afterwards. After all, once I have them warmed up and they have been used, decomposition will speed up.
Therefore, after much deliberation, I figure out that warming the corpses in the boiler room below my laboratory will make them seem real, and I can then cremate them straightaway.
That is what I did today. The chosen corpse was a John Doe found on the side of the street near the Asylum. He was brought here because he was homeless and the city couldn’t be bothered to send the coroner out this far to collect the body. He will not be missed at all.
Asylum Box Set Page 2