by K. G. Reuss
While it killed me to see her unwell, I knew if I approached her, it would only bring more unwanted attention to her from the student body. I’d already heard more than one whispered conversation about her being the next Conexus recruit. The other conversations about her and Eric hooking up were by far worse though. Even though they hadn’t, their relationship was probably hard for anyone else to understand, considering how Conexus was.
“She spent the night with Ambrose,” Amara cut into my sad thoughts.
I snapped my head in her direction, unsure if I’d heard her correctly. “What?”
“It’s true. Ask Sloane. The other day when we were on patrol, we caught them coming out of his dorm.” She looked smugly at me. I cast a questioning look at Sloane who let out a sigh.
“It’s true. They even admitted it.”
“Doesn’t mean anything.” Damien clapped me on the shoulder. “Sloane slept in my bed a few weeks ago and nothing happened. So it’s entirely possible for it to be something like that.”
“Yeah,” I murmured, turning my attention back to Ever. Part of me wanted to punish Ambrose for allowing such a thing to happen. I knew why Sloane hadn’t turned them in for it. She didn’t want Ever to get into trouble. And Amara? She did it because she wanted Ambrose to take Ever.
“You’re one tough bird.” Sloane bumped shoulders with me. “I don’t know how you fight it. All I know is that at some point, you’re going to lose.”
I looked at her with a frown. “Why would I lose?”
“Because you’re playing a game where there are no winners.”
I let out a soft, sad chuckle. She had that right.
Thirty
Raiden
It shouldn’t have taken me as long as it did. I fought with myself about whether to go to her or not. My undying affections for her finally beat my worry about getting too close to her into the ground.
I wanted to soothe her wounds. I wanted to see her smile again, even if that smile wasn’t for me. Maybe I was a glutton for punishment, but I had to know what the deal with Ambrose was.
Later in the day, I found her sitting alone by the fountain near the gardens. A beautiful spot lined with vibrant, colorful flowers, the fountains offered me solace and was one of my favorites on the grounds. In all my visits there, I’d never seen her. I figured I’d tell her something training related as a believable excuse to talk to her.
If possible, she looked even more drained than before.
She scribbled in a notebook, oblivious to everything around her.
I approached her, mesmerized by the exhausted beauty.
“Hey.” I cleared my throat.
Her head jerked up with a start, her green eyes wide with surprise. The surprise quickly disappeared. A scowl spread over her features. She didn’t answer me as she went back to her notebook.
“Miss Torres,” I tried again. “Can we talk? I wanted to go over some things for training—”
“No,” she murmured, shuffling to her feet and stuffing her notebook into her bag. “We can speak at training. The last thing I need is to be seen with another Conexus member. There are already enough rumors going around.” She moved to walk away, but I reached out and stopped her, wrapping my hand firmly around her elbow.
“Please?”
Her eyes wavered for a moment as she took me in.
“Fine.”
“I’m wondering if you’d be agreeable to coming in for training thirty minutes earlier. My schedule gets messy rather quickly, especially at night. It would be easier for me this way, and it would give you a chance to do things before curfew and get finished earlier so you can sleep.”
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, her brows scrunched as she thought it over.
“I guess that would be OK. I might be late though. Like five minutes.” Her eyes locked on mine, and I instinctively stepped closer to her. “I’m in palmistry across campus before training.”
“That’s fine. I’ll wait.”
She gave me a curt nod and turned to leave. I was quick to step in front of her to stop her.
“I’m not done,” I said as she frowned up at me.
“Well, I am—”
“Miss Torres, I want to apologize personally for my behavior at the pinning ceremony, even though it’s been weeks. I know what I did was uncalled for and out of line. I don’t want my actions or words to affect how we get along. Training is hard enough when you get along with the person. It’s downright excruciating when you don’t like the person.”
Her frown deepened as she looked at me before her gaze fell to her feet.
“Thank you for your honesty, General. I figured it was like that,” she whispered in a strained voice.
It took me a moment of confusion before comprehension hit me.
“No! No, no, no,” I said in a rush. “I’m not saying I don’t like you. I didn’t mean it like that. It came out wrong. I’m only saying I want us to get along.”
She looked up at me, her shoulders relaxing. “OK. I-I want us to get along too.”
Growing quiet for a moment, she surveyed me. She had a way of making me feel like she was examining me beneath a microscope. I stared back at her, not wanting her to know that she unnerved me. “Why did you act like that at the ceremony? You were so nice to me before when I had my panic attack but then so mean.”
“I’m just a jerk,” I answered. “I do stupid things without thinking. I really am sorry.”
She let out a breath. “It’s been over a month since the pinning ceremony. But whatever. Fine. I believe you.”
“You believe that I’m a jerk?” I attempted a joke with her, hoping maybe I could get her to loosen up a bit. My heart sped up as a tiny smile tugged at her lips.
“Yes,” she said. “I believe you’re both a jerk and sorry. I appreciate you apologizing in person.”
“I shouldn’t have said those things to you. I should’ve apologized the moment I did it. Truly, Miss Torres. I let you down.”
Her eyes widened in surprise at my words, but she said nothing. She fidgeted with the strap on her backpack, her eyelids growing heavier.
I cleared my throat. “Eric told me you’ve been feeling unwell and need a little something to help you feel better. I could try.” I held my breath, waiting for her to speak.
“I don’t need your help, General. This isn’t something you can help me with, anyway.” She sighed tiredly. “Thank you for the offer. I need to go.”
“Is it Marcus?” I blurted out, wanting to kick myself.
“What?” She froze like a deer in headlights.
“Has he … I mean, are you two … together?” I swear my heart stopped as I waited for her to answer.
“Why would you ask me that?”
“Sloane and Amara mentioned seeing you two coming out of his dorm. I only want to make sure you’re safe. With my position here, it’s my job to ensure it. It’s against Dementon rules for students of the opposite sex to spend the night with one another.” I added the last bit, so I didn’t look like a crazed stalker.
“While I appreciate your concern, I’m fine. I only stayed at Marcus’s because he wanted me to after he put a charm on me. But if you’re going to punish me, General, do your worst. I imagine it's infinitely better than what I’m going through.”
“What?” I asked, anger boiling up within me, ignoring everything but the mention of magic. “What sort of charm?”
“It was for sleeping. I keep having bad dreams. He put a sleeping charm on me. He said it was new and wanted to keep watch on me.”
“I see.” I let out the breath I’d been holding. “So … you’re not seeing Marcus?”
“What?” Her brows crinkled at the question. “Not that it’s any of your business, but no. I’m not.”
“Oh.” Damien was right. Not that it sat well with me, just better than the alternative. Blackburn and Ambrose were trouble.
“Will I be punished?” Her bottom lip trembled.
I sh
ook my head at her. “Not this time.”
She nodded. “Thank you. I-I do need to go—”
“Miss Torres, please,” I begged, my heart in my throat. “Let me try to help. You’re dead on your feet. I promise I won’t hurt you. If it doesn’t work, then we’ll know. Training will get harder and make this worse. You said you’re going through something. You can talk to me about it. I know we aren’t close, but I’m your trainer. Maybe I can help you more than you think.”
She paused, her bottom lip trembling once more as she thought it over. What I wouldn’t do to kiss her fears away …
“Fine,” she relented softly. “In my experience with you, every kind moment is followed by an equally unkind one. Please don’t let this be the case this time. You can try to heal me up. We can start there.”
“I promise it won’t be that way,” I murmured, grateful she’d agreed. I stepped toward her and cradled her face in my hands. Flashes of our night together flickered in my mind. It was pure hell to be so close to someone I loved only for her to not know and feel the same.
She feels the same. She told you she loves you.
Shadow. She loved Shadow. Not me, General Raiden Hawthorne. To her I was just some jerk making everyone’s life miserable.
Her static floated through my body as our eyes locked. I pushed everything I had at her, willing her to feel better. A tiny gasp escaped her lips as the power I gave her rushed through her small body.
“You need me,” she breathed out. “But you’re afraid.”
I sucked in a breath, still cupping her face. She wasn’t there though. She’d checked out like she’d done at the pinning ceremony. Her eyes were glassy, a faraway look in them as she saw something meant for only her to see. I continued to hold her, waiting for more words.
“The Order will send the best to a haunt in the central regions. A path. A choice. Seven go. Six return. Eight go and return but the end begins. He must choose which to sacrifice. To choose the love means more sacrifice. To choose the friends means certain death for one of seven. Five begins the end.” Her eyes rolled back in her head, her body going limp. I caught her against me, my heart banging painfully in my chest.
“Ever? Everly!” I lifted her into my arms, her words on repeat in my head. If she was anything like me, she needed to rest after doing something so large. I had an inkling her body wasn’t accustomed to things yet, and she’d been so exhausted lately. Combined, it landed her in my arms.
“Brandon. Eric. Damien,” I hissed out in my mind. They stirred. “I need you. Now. Meet at the house.”
I broke the connection off before they replied. Looking around, I saw we were alone in the gardens. I melded quickly with Everly clutched to my body, only to appear in the living room of the Conexus house. The guys were already standing there waiting for me when we arrived.
“What happened?” Eric demanded, worry clear in his voice and movements as he rushed to me. Damien tossed a book off the couch, and I laid Everly onto the soft cushions.
“I went to her to heal her. She had a psychic trance during it. It exhausted her, and she passed out. Brandon, can you help me heal her?”
He stepped forward, his hands positioned on either side of her pretty face. I placed my hands on her chest, and we both pushed our healing to her. She stirred beneath my touch, and Brandon backed away. Desire to make sure she was well had my hands cradling her face gently.
“Raiden,” Damien murmured. I looked at him, confused. It took me a moment to realize I probably shouldn’t care so much, or at least not show it so much. I dropped my hands and moved away.
Eric was quick to replace me. Ever’s eyelids fluttered open, confusion in her pretty eyes.
“Hey,” Eric greeted her gently, his fingers pushing her hair away from her face. The guys shot me quick looks of sympathy. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I got hit by a bus,” she groaned, sitting up. She swayed, and Eric wasted no time winding his arms around her to steady her.
“You had a psychic trance.” Damien knelt in front of her.
“Oh.” She looked around, her eyes landing on me. “I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to. I mean, I hope I didn’t say anything too bad like last time—”
“No need to be sorry,” I answered, surprised she was talking to me. “You said nothing to upset me.” That was a damn lie. Her words were still sending chills through my body. I cleared my throat, continuing, “Psychics have a harder time controlling their visions. I’m just glad I was there to help you when it happened.”
She frowned as she looked at me. “You should get that.”
“What?” I looked around, confused. Even the guys glanced at one another. A moment later the fireplace ignited, a piece of charred parchment shooting out of it. Surprised, I caught it in my hands. I shot a look at her. The guys had their eyebrows raised, Damien mouthing, ‘Wow’ to me.
A fire message from the Order.
“Nice.” Brandon nodded his approval at her. She cast him a tiny smile that didn’t reach her eyes. Typically, I wouldn’t have opened a message from the Order in front of someone not within our ranks. But it was Ever. She probably already knew what it said.
General Hawthorne
Your assistance and expertise are required in the central region on the 5th. Location will be sent momentarily. Assemble your finest. Please direct all questions to Second Chair Order official, Sir Sangrey Hawthorne
The message turned to ash in my hands.
“Where are we going?” Brandon asked.
“Central regions,” I whispered, a lump forming in my throat as I stared down at the soot from the ashes on my hands.
Thirty-One
Everly
“Why don’t you take the rest of the night off to rest,” Raiden suggested as he escorted me to the door.
I nodded. “My head feels funny.” I rubbed my temples.
“You had a vision,” Eric said.
I frowned. “I don’t remember that. But I remembered the vision I had at the pinning ceremony.”
“Sometimes when visions become stronger, they suck the energy from the seer, leaving them drained and without memory of it,” Raiden explained, concern filling his eyes.
Figured.
“Great,” I mumbled. “Thanks for catching me. I’m sure banging my head off the cobblestones would have been a mess.”
“I’d have fixed it,” Raiden said as he opened the door for me.
“Then I’d owe you even more.”
“I’d never come to collect, Miss Torres.”
I surveyed him for a moment before swallowing. “I gotta go. I need to sleep.”
“I’ll see you later. If you need anything, come find me.” Raiden’s concerned gaze swept over me.
“Yeah, later,” I said, clearing my throat and waving to Eric who was watching me. He cast me a wave, his brows crinkled in worry. It was a look I knew all too well.
Needing to take my mind off things, I went to the main campus building and sat down at one of the phones and dialed my mom.
“Hello?” she answered on the second ring.
“Mom?”
“Ever! Sweetheart! Cómo estás? I just got your last letter in the mail.”
I smiled at her excitement. “I’m well, mamá. Cómo estás?”
She rattled on about work and missing me, making me misty-eyed.
“I’m good, hon. Do you like your new school? Dr. Brighton says you’re doing incredible.”
“It’s different. Maybe it’s growing on me.”
“I’m glad you’re beginning to like it. I’ve missed you so much. I can’t wait until the holidays when you come home. We’re going to have so much fun!” She rambled on again, making me smile. By the end of the conversation, I was drained and in much need of rest. I bid her good night, promising we’d talk again soon, before going back to my dorm.
I hopped into bed without bothering with finding something to eat. Desperation for sleep ate at me. I’d been struggling with acceptin
g the whole mancer bit. The longer time went on and weird things kept happening, the more I believed it. It had my head and heart in turmoil. It kept me up just as much as my fear of the gray world did.
But I knew deep down in my heart that I was what Nev said I was. Accepting it was the only thing I could do because fighting it was a painful nightmare.
Unable to fight it any longer, my eyes closed, and I was propelled into the gray, foggy world of my dreams.
“Shoot,” I hissed out, wrapping my arms around myself and staring into the thick fog. It was silent. That frightened me more than if I’d have heard the dead or the monsters. Silence wasn’t good. Everything in my bones told me it was bad. Very bad.
I took a step back, willing myself to wake up. Nothing.
Whimpering, I peered through the fog on high alert. A skittering through the gray made me stop and whip around, my breath coming out in sharp gasps.
“It’s not real. It’s not real,” I whispered through chattering teeth. “It’s just a bad dream. They can’t hurt you here.”
I let out a wail as a creature launched itself through the fog at me. Its red, shining eyes glared at me and long, sharp teeth that could put Eric’s throwing knives to shame snapped. I ducked and rolled just in time, so it soared right through where I’d been standing. I crouched in the low fighting stance Eric had taught me, praying this really was a dream and I wasn’t about to die.
The creature turned, growling, and glared at me. It was humanoid in a way, even if it walked on all fours. It had a long, slim neck and a body with ugly patches of matted hair. Its bones were spiny and disjointed. A thin, leathery layer of gray skin stretched taut over the hot mess the devil himself must have created. It had claws for fingernails, and arms and legs which were abnormally long. The legs reminded me of a deer. It definitely could jump.
We stared at one another, sizing each other up. The thing was huge. Like the size of a lion. If it were to stand, it would tower over me. I was sure I was just a snack to it. It reared its elongated, alien-like head back and sniffed the air, two black slits opening on its face.