“Why are you telling me this?”
“I don’t know.” I took a deep breath and rubbed his firm muscles under his shirt for a distraction. “I feel comfortable with you.”
Finally, he turned to look at me. “You can tell me anything, Sierra. I’ll always keep your secrets.”
“I know.”
His fingers glided through my hair, gently twirling it. “Have you ever been in love?”
Wow, that wasn’t what I was expecting. “That’s a loaded question…”
He shrugged. “Just curious.”
“No, I don’t think so.”
Parker cocked his head like he didn’t believe me. “No serious guys in your life?”
“I’ve had a few relationships, but I wasn’t in love with them.” I never felt what I was feeling for Parker.
“I bet they were in love with you.”
I made a sarcastic grunt. “Hardly. I’ve fallen for the wrong guy a few times, but that wasn’t love. That was just infatuation mixed with lust.”
“Most relationships are.” His fingers continued to twirl my hair into ringlets.
“But those aren’t real. They don’t last.” The muscles of his chest contracted with every breath he took. Just being so close to him made me feel safer than I ever had before. “What about you?”
“Have I ever been in love?”
“Yeah.” I knew his answer would be yes. He’d obviously loved someone and lost her. There was no other reason for him to be so reluctant to start a relationship with me.
“No.”
“Never?” I sat up on my elbow and looked at him. “I’m surprised.”
“I’m not.” His eyes locked on mine and I could feel the electricity arcing between us. “I just hadn’t met the right woman.”
“Oh…” As in past tense?
The hope I’d been trying to tamp down tripled in mass, filling me with warmth. I didn’t want to push him before he was ready, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold back my feelings much longer.
I moved the knife through the air at lightning speed and cut him down the forearm.
He didn’t flinch in pain or seem remotely bothered by the injury. He looked down at it and watched the blood ooze out. When he turned back to me, there was a smile on his lips. “I’m impressed.”
“Shit, I’m so sorry!” I ran to the first-aid kit then pulled out the gauze and alcohol pads.
He took a seat at the table and extended his arm on the surface, still ignoring the blood pooling on the table. “It’s okay, sweetheart.”
“I can’t believe I cut you.”
He spoke in a bored voice. “I was hoping you would.”
I wiped the blood away then rinsed it with alcohol. Once it was clean, I rubbed iodine across the wound before I pulled out the stitch kit and began to sew him up.
He watched me with the same look of indifference on his face. “Where did you learn to do this?”
“Dad taught me.”
Parker’s eyes followed my fingers, the ghost of a smile still on his lips. “You’re good at it.”
“Thanks.” I worked quickly because I didn’t want him to lose more blood than necessary. As far as I knew, there wasn’t a hospital nearby, unless we wanted to take a train ride.
His free hand touched my elbow, stopping me cold. “Sweetheart, I’m fine. Take your time.”
Nodding as much to reassure him as myself, I took a deep breath and tried to focus on each stitch until the cut was completely sewn. Once he wasn’t bleeding anymore, I wiped more iodine across the surface then wrapped the gauze around his arm. “Are you okay? Feeling lightheaded?”
“I’m fine.” He pulled his arm away and bent it slightly, checking the tightness of the gauze.
“I’m sorry I cut you.” I lowered my forehead to the table, ashamed for not having better control.
“Don’t be. I want you to give me your best every time. How else will you learn?”
“Well, I don’t want to chop you up into pieces as I do it.”
“Believe me, it makes me happy when you best me. It gives me peace of mind. People will take one look at you and underestimate you. Then you’ll surprise them when you kick their ass.”
I looked up at him, grateful he didn’t hate me for my stupidity. “Should we take you to a hospital?”
Parker chuckled. “No.”
I wasn’t worried about the cut itself, but I was worried about a possible infection. “Do you have antibiotics here?”
“Actually, I do.” He shook his head and pulled me onto his lap. “If I need them, I’ve got them. We’re good.”
I finally exhaled the air I’d been holding in my lungs. “Okay.”
Parker gave me a kiss on the cheek then patted my ass. “I guess we’ll call it a day since you almost killed me.”
My jaw dropped, and tears sprung to my eyes. “But you—"
He laughed. “I’m kidding.”
“No, you aren’t. I hurt you, didn’t I?”
He kept laughing. “You didn’t. I was just teasing you.”
“Well, it wasn’t very funny.”
He stood up and stretched his arms up above his head. “I’m hungry. I’m sure Jana has dinner ready.”
Parker and I had been training for nearly a month since I agreed to work with his agency, but he still hadn’t told me the truth about my father. He kept putting it off because he was trying to protect me, but he couldn’t put it off forever. “Parker, I want to know about my father.”
He turned around and faced me, disappointment in his eyes.
“You’ve stalled long enough. You can’t keep it from me forever.” I assumed my dad would rescue me after a week, maybe two. But I’d been gone for almost two months and he still hadn’t come for me. Maybe he never would. Maybe Parker was right about everything.
“You don’t want to know, Sierra.”
“Yes, I do.” I remained in the seat and refused to move.
He slowly walked back to the table but didn’t sit. “It’ll change everything—in a bad way.”
“Hiding away and pretending bad things don’t exist isn’t how I want to live. You told me I was brave and fearless. If I can chase down gunman to save my father, I can handle this.”
He was deliberating behind his eyes, his thoughts hidden in the shadows. “This is different.”
“You can keep stalling, but it’s not going to change anything. I’m already hurt and sad. I need to know the truth.”
When his eyes met mine, there was agreement there.
“If I were anyone else, you would spit it out in a heartbeat. Why are you tiptoeing? If you think I’m good enough to work with you, then you must think I can handle this.”
His eyes trailed over to another section of the room, avoiding my stare. They formed a flat line as he concentrated on his thoughts. “Because you aren’t anyone else.”
His words washed over me without leaving a wake behind. I was desperate to know the truth of my family no matter what.
Parker wasn’t happy when he walked over to a filing cabinet and grabbed a few folders. He stared at them before he returned to the table and sat down across from me. “You sure you want to do this?” He placed the yellow folders on the surface but kept his hand over them, holding them closed.
I tried to keep my voice steady so he wouldn’t know how terrified I was. “Yes.”
Parker rubbed his palm against the side of his face then moved his hand, opening the folder. I couldn’t tell what I was looking at until he spun it around, so it was facing me. “In his line of work, he’s known as The Detonator. He’s responsible for terrorist activity on an international level including the United States. He’s also involved with arms dealers. Basically, he follows the money. He’s good at what he does, and even now, I don’t know who his contacts are. I got lucky when I came across him in the first place.” He flipped the page. There was an image of my dad standing in front of a run-down building. The sand in the background implied he was in
a desert. “This was taken shortly after the bombing at the U.S. Embassy in Austria. We have evidence that proves he was behind the attack. He was also responsible for the assassination of the Russian president three years ago. Your dad basically does what I do, but for the wrong people. Most of the time, he’s killing the innocent people I’m trying to save.”
I stared at the image without blinking. Without a doubt, it was him. He carried an AK-47 by his side and a Bluetooth microphone was in his ear. There was no mistaking it was him, but on the other hand, it looked like a complete stranger.
Parker’s gaze was full of pity as he gripped the corner of the page like he was about to flip it. “Do you want me to continue?”
My voice came out hoarse, like I’d been in the desert for three days straight. “No.”
Thankfully, he shut the folder, concerned about how I was going to respond. Seconds or hours of silence passed, I’m not sure which. Then he held my hand, interlocking his fingers with mine. “I’m sorry.”
It was hard to believe my only parent was a monster. My daddy killed people for sport. All those times he left on business trips, he was actually murdering people with bombs.
“I know this is a lot to take in… Take all the time you need.”
I squared my shoulders and looked at the second folder, which hadn’t been opened. “What’s that?”
Parker shook his head and pushed it out of my reach. “Something for another time.”
“Parker.” I reached for it.
His hand stopped mine before I could get there. “You’ve heard enough for one day. Let’s revisit this some other time.”
“I want to see it.” I kept my voice strong even though all I felt was weak.
He kept his hand in place as his dark eyes bored into mine. “It’s worse than everything you’ve just heard.”
How could it possibly be worse? My father, the only family I had left, killed for a living. He was even responsible for smuggling weapons internationally. Those bombings probably had women and children casualties. There was nothing worse. “I don’t think that’s possible.”
“It is,” he said softly.
“Just rip the bandage off,” I snapped. “I can handle it.” I was handling the information surprisingly well. My heart was broken, and I felt stupid for not investigating my dad when I had the chance. But I’d always just assumed he was one of the good guys because he was my father. How could I have been so blind? “Please.” I was calm and rational…and heartbroken…and Parker had no comeback against my request.
He watched me intensely for another moment before he released a sigh and opened the folder. A single photograph stared up at me. It was a picture of a brown Volvo flipped on its side. The car was engulfed in flames… and I recognized it immediately.
Pity still filled Parker’s eyes but now they seemed to hurt right along with me. “Your mother’s death wasn’t an accident, sweetheart.”
I couldn’t breathe.
Tremors started to rock through my body as my mind made the awful connections. The implication of his words burned me alive as my entire life was toppled upside down. Every beat of my heart was amplified in my chest, and blood pounded in my ears like a drum. The calm feeling that was once inside me evaporated as a war raged inside me.
“Your dad was responsible for her death. His motive is unknown, but we suspect she figured out who he really was. Maybe to keep her from going to the authorities, he killed her and made it look like an accident.” He watched my face, his eyes carefully inspecting every feature. “The police department wrote it off as a crash, but the classified report we’ve seen states there was a bomb underneath the car.”
I wasn’t as strong as I thought. My body was shutting down as the truth hit me like an unforgiving wind. My fingertips and lips felt numb and I was certain my heartbeat had slowed down to a dangerous pace, like it wanted to stop beating altogether.
Parker watched me, sadness swelling in his eyes. “Sierra—”
I abruptly stood up, knocking the chair backwards. It hit the concrete with a loud thud, but I didn’t look back before I took off.
“Sierra.” Parker stood up to grab me, but I was already at the staircase, taking three steps at a time. My body was pushed to the limit as I tried to run. There was nowhere for me to go, but I needed to keep moving. I couldn’t run away from the past, but that didn’t stop me from trying.
I burst out the front door then sprinted across the snowy yard. The sun was about to set, and the second I took a breath, icy frost burned my sinuses all the way down. Pain seared me from the inside out and my stomach tightened in anguish, but my body kept going as tears welled in my eyes.
“Sierra.” Parker’s voice erupted from behind me. “Stop.”
I kept going until I made it to the road. The patches of snow were nearly impossible to pass, but I kept going. I ran as hard as I could, my thighs straining from the exertion. There was no destination or escape route in mind. I didn’t have a penny to my name.
But I needed to leave regardless.
Walking around the village in just pants and a t-shirt was stupid.
Damn stupid.
My muscles constantly contracted in a futile attempt to stay warm, and I couldn’t stop shaking. Even my breathing stuttered at times because my lungs were struggling with the dry, freezing air.
People passed me on the cobbled streets and eyed me like I didn’t belong there. A sleepy haze filtered through my mind and my mom’s face flashed across my mind. I remembered her green eyes that were so similar to my own. She used to read to me at bedtime before she kissed me goodnight. Even when I was in high school, she still did it. She didn’t make it to my high school graduation, and she was there in my heart since she couldn’t be there in person.
Because my father killed her.
He took her life then did the same to so many others. If he knew I knew the truth, would he kill me too? Would he have shot me right between the eyes then buried me in the backyard?
Everything I ever knew was a lie.
No wonder my father never came for me. He was probably relieved I was gone. I took his place to save his life, but he wouldn’t have done the same for me. Now I was thousands of miles away from him, and my captor was actually my rescuer.
I couldn’t keep walking so I leaned against a wall, wrapping my arms tightly across my body for warmth. Tears had frozen on my face but it was too cold to cry. It was too cold to feel anything. Images of that burning car filled my mind and I wanted to fall to the ground and never get back up again.
My teeth clattered painfully as the remaining heat in my body disappeared. It was getting more difficult to keep my eyes open, but that was okay. I welcomed whatever came next.
Death would be a mercy.
I wasn’t sure if I was awake or dead when something warm enveloped me. It took a few seconds for me to realize it was a heavy jacket lined with wool.
Before I could look to see where it came from, I was scooped off my feet and into the strong arms of the man I knew I was falling in love with. My eyelashes were coated with ice, but I knew it was Parker. He was blurry and difficult to make out, but I could feel it was him.
The warmth of the jacket brought some life back into my frozen limbs, but I was still unable to move.
“Don’t fall asleep.” His deep voice grabbed my attention and I wanted to hear more of it.
I wanted to tell him to keep talking but I didn’t have the strength to form words. My eyelids were too heavy to keep open, so I let them drift shut.
Parker leaned down and pressed his mouth to mine. I thought it was a kiss, but it wasn’t. He was breathing hot air into my lungs, warming my frozen body. He gave me a few breaths before we were moving again. “Sierra, stay with me.”
“I…” My hands curled against my chest, lifeless.
He walked quickly down the street, glancing down at me every few seconds to make sure my eyes were open. “Almost there.” He took long strides and carried me with ea
se. Like always, his body provided some protection from the cold. As soon as we got inside his home, he called out to Jana. “Is the bath ready?”
“In your room.” The concern in her voice warmed me even more as Parker carried me up to his bedroom.
Once we were in the bathroom, he pulled the jacket off me then placed me inside the hot water. It was scalding in comparison to the ice in my veins, but I knew it wasn’t actually burning me. I winced and released a few cries I wasn’t proud of but tried to breathe through the pain.
“It’ll feel better in a second.” Parker crouched beside me and grasped one of my hands.
“It’s so hot.”
“It’s warming you up.” He pulled my hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss on my palm. “Your body will adjust.”
It took several long minutes, but my body did start to thaw. It felt like hot pokers pierced my skin all over the place, but I knew once my whole body was warm, I’d feel good again. Not wanting Parker to see me struggle, I turned away. I never wanted him to see me weak.
He kept his hand in mine, gently rubbing the back of it with his thumb. “You’re almost there.”
After a few more minutes, the bitter sting passed. Sensation started to return to my fingers and toes, and the warmth felt nice. My clothes drifted in the water and acted as an anchor to the bottom.
“Better?”
I nodded.
He released my hand then ran his fingers through my hair. Both were wet, but it felt good anyway. His eyes were glued to my face, and he watched me as though he thought I might make a sudden move.
I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t in the mood to talk. My life was no longer at risk, but my heart was still broken. The hot water couldn’t rectify that. Nothing could.
Parker picked up on my silence. “When you’re ready, I’ll be in the bedroom.” He left my side then exited the bathroom. After he was gone, I was alone to really think about what I’d learned earlier. Now that I wasn’t moving and my life wasn’t in danger, all I could feel was pain. Against my will, tears started to flow down my cheeks. I cried quietly and kept my sobs down so Parker wouldn’t hear me. He thought I was strong.
Intense - Aspen Drake & Emily Cain Page 11