by Amy Lyon
Matt shifted closer and pulled her into his chest as she let the tears roll and the small sobs release. And with that, the burden she’d carried on her shoulders the last few days shifted squarely over her heart.
* * *
The next morning Andi was in whirlwind mode. She stopped at the Super Mini Mart Convenience Store in the center of town and grabbed glazed donuts and coffee, a Sunday morning tradition before her mother left Minnesota. It was just after eight when she turned down Hibiscus Drive toward her mother’s house.
Her bedside lamp had been on most of the night as she’d alternated between flopping restlessly around in the bed and pacing the room. And during the pacing, she made lists. Several of them. In the twenty-four hours she had left on Mimosa Key, she would get her mother’s house in order and her bags packed for her transition to Circles of Care. Andi wouldn’t be here for the move tomorrow, but Matt had assured her he’d oversee the process.
She’d also made a decision about Matt. As much as she liked sharing the personal stories that linked them closer together, and having him comfort her when her emotions crumbled, fueling that relationship wouldn’t help either one of them. Clearly, there was an attraction there, and last night by the pool, as he wiped the tears from her eyes, they’d come inches from kissing.
Which was why she couldn’t go to church this morning. Just hearing him preach with his deep, calming voice would lull her into a fantasyland she knew would cause her heart to swell for him even more. But she had work to do. In real life, not fantasyland. And the reality was, she was going home tomorrow.
Fancy met her at the door, bright-eyed and friendly as ever, and her mother came from the hallway wearing a pretty floral dress.
“You look beautiful, Mom,” Andi gushed, not sure if she would be greeted with a smile or the angry version of her mother she’d seen at Circles of Care yesterday.
But Millie just smiled and smoothed the fabric of her dress. “Coming to church with us?”
She pulled the list, written on Casa Blanca Resort and Spa stationery, out of her purse. “Naw. I’m going to stay here and...” she searched for the right words “...help sort through some things.”
Her mother’s eyes dropped to the floor. “Because I’m moving,” she said. “Fancy already delivered the bad news.” She looked around the room. “Sure am going to miss this place.”
Andi felt the now-familiar pain in her chest and reached to take her mother’s hand. “You’ll love the new place, Mom. They have so many activities to keep you busy and—”
Her mother looked up. “Do they have a swimming pool?”
Fancy laughed. “No swimming pool, Mill, but we’ll get you in the water at the community center soon enough.”
Fancy helped her mother slip into flat Mary Jane-style shoes. “You should have the place to yourself most of the day,” she said to Andi. “We have a Bible study after church, then a seniors luncheon.”
Andi looked out the front window and wondered if Matt would see her car parked out front after church and stop by.
As if reading her mind, Fancy added, “And Sundays are busy-busy for Matt. So you won’t be bothered by him.”
She managed a small smile, but wondered if the disappointment was as evident on her face as it felt in her heart.
Moments later, alone in the house, Andi didn’t know where to start, even with a to-do list clutched in her hand. She sat at the kitchen table and flipped through the Circles of Care folder, trying to come to terms with her mother’s new home and the activities she would have to keep her busy. But guilt still hung tight around her neck.
This home, the one her mother had shared with her husband, felt eerily quiet. And although she was surrounded by the scent of her mother and many familiar things, the space felt foreign to Andi. What had it been like with both of them here, cooking, laughing, watching favorite shows together? She would never know and she’d have to come to terms with that, as well.
She retrieved boxes from her car that she’d gotten from the Super Min, and finally dug in. A few knick-knacks, photos and personal items went in a box that would go to Circles of Care. Next, she worked off the list from Ginger to pack the recommended clothing from her mother’s closet. She set the boxes near the front door, but off to the side where hopefully they wouldn’t disturb her mother. She didn’t know if when Millie came home after church she’d be the same person who’d left.
At the dining room table, Andi started another list of questions for Matt related to storing the items her mother wouldn’t be able to bring to Circles of Care, holding an estate sale and selling the home through the Realtor he knew. She paused at the third bullet, overwhelmed by a sense of dread. She looked around the living room. Her mother would never come back to this home, so there was no sense in hanging on to the items inside that made this house a home. But Andi didn’t like the idea of some estate sale rep ripping through everything, searching for those items of value that would help meet the company’s quota. She needed to be the one to go through everything.
Her breath caught in her throat. There just wasn’t enough time to do everything. She put the pen down and walked to her mother’s room. She’d have to come back. And that realization took her breath away for another reason. She leaned on the doorframe, knowing it wasn’t her mother’s house that had her in a tizzy now so much as the neighbor down the street.
She didn’t want to come back because she didn’t want to leave in the first place.
She sat on the edge of the bed, then lay her head on her mother’s pillow, breathing in sweet lavender and the familiar, earthy face cream that were the scents of her childhood. Her mind wrestled with so much: letting go of past hurts, holding on to the cherished memories, stepping in where she was needed while still stepping out of her comfort zone.
With her mother and with Matt.
Andi buried her face in the pillow. If only it were that easy with Matt. As the morning slipped into the lunch hour she became frighteningly aware of how badly she wanted to see him. To hear his voice and feel his arms around her. And if her longing for him was this bad after such little time apart, how would tomorrow be? And the next day? And the day after that?
It was almost as if her heart cracked wide open the first time she gazed into his comforting blue eyes, almost as if it were... No. She didn’t believe in that.
Her old life waited impatiently and she had to remember her job at CityStyle Magazine had been the one constant in her life over the last six years. Matt would eventually fade into the background and she’d forget the sound of his voice. Until he called with an update about her mother or left a voicemail that she knew she’d play back dozens of times.
Andi curled onto her side and closed her eyes. She’d have to insist he text updates. Or email. At least until the sting subsided.
A soft sound woke Andi from sleep. She looked around, at first unsure of where she was, then recognized her mother’s bedroom. She touched the crocheted blanket that covered the lower half of her body. Someone had been here. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and sat on the edge a moment, listening to voices speaking somewhere else in the comfortable little house.
She found her mom and Fancy in the living room lounging on the couch. Matt sat in the chair across from them, his elbows resting on his knees as he leaned forward.
They stopped talking when she entered the room, and Matt absolutely beamed when he saw her. Her heart gave a little extra pulse of happiness and she wanted to beam right back at him.
Dang him.
Andi ran a hand through her hair and smoothed the sleep lines she imagined were all over her face.
“How long did I nap?” She scanned the room for a clock.
Matt checked his phone. “It’s four-thirty now.”
Andi clucked her tongue. “I never sleep like that in the middle of the day.”
“A lot going on, darling,” Fancy said.
“And you were busy packing,” her mother chimed in, pointing to the
boxes by the door. “Thanks for doing that.”
Andi smiled tentatively, monitoring her mother’s expression. She crossed the room and perched on the couch next to the older woman, slipping an arm around her. “I’m sorry I won’t be here tomorrow.”
Millie waved her hand. “Don’t need a whole army to put me in jail.”
Andi stiffened.
“It’s fine,” her mother said and patted her leg. “All part of getting old and losing your marbles, right?”
Andi didn’t respond. In her wide-awake state last night, she’d visited multiple memory loss websites and forums, which gave her a better understanding of the ups and downs her mother would face, especially as her condition worsened. She found it helpful to understand the disease from a medical perspective and also to read about other people’s experiences with family members.
She vowed to visit her mother more and, at the very least, call on a regular basis. But would that be enough?
Matt got up and walked to the dining room table.
“Is this for me?” he asked and picked up a piece of paper. “It’s got my name on it.”
Andi zeroed in on the list she’d written before she became overwhelmed and took her impromptu nap. Her face burned. Below the three bulleted items was his name in her scripty doodle font with—oh, no—a swirling heart coming off the last T.
She was up off the couch and had moved across the room to snatch the paper from his hand before she could stop herself. “Nope,” she blurted. “Just a list of things I need to talk to you about.”
“How about over dinner?”
“What?” Dinner wasn’t in her plan. Scratch that, she thought as her stomach flipped a hungry protest. Food was in her plan, but dinner with Matt was not.
Ignoring her mind’s decision, her stomach growled louder than she’d ever heard before. She closed her eyes, cursing her body for betraying her.
“We’ll go to Junonia.”
The name sounded familiar. “At the resort?”
Matt nodded.
“Oooh! Fancy,” Millie trilled.
Matt’s mother turned. “What now?”
Millie rolled her eyes. “Not you. The restaurant.” She motioned to Andi’s jeans and T-shirt. “Hope you have something nicer to wear than that.”
CHAPTER SIX
Matt wasn’t sure how he’d get Andi alone, but the excuse to talk about her to-do list and the moms urging her to relax on her last night in Mimosa Key worked together like a charm.
That was after he convinced her she wouldn’t be able to sort through her mother’s house and label everything in one night. She asked for one hour to shower and dress in her hotel room, and agreed to meet him in the Casa Blanca lobby at six. That would give her enough time after dinner, she said, to pack her own things for her flight back to Minneapolis.
Not if he could help it.
Matt kicked at the sidewalk in front of the resort. Man, he didn’t want her to leave. The nagging in his gut told him there was more between them than helping a church member’s daughter through a difficult time. He’d never felt this way about any woman and didn’t even care that the admission made him sound like a sap. He’d met countless women in his thirty-two years and not one of them caused him to have the visions Andi did. Crystal-clear visions of his future. With her. And the craziest thing was he guessed she had no idea of the effect she had on him.
Well, she would tonight.
Beyond the open lobby doors he heard the gentle ding of the elevator, and in a classic, dramatic scene, she stepped into the room wearing another colorful sundress that stole his breath. This one, though, was more elegant, just above her knees in the front and tapered toward her ankles in the back. It was hot pink and black with beaded straps tied around her neck. Her hair was piled on top of her head with wispy strands playing around her face.
Matt was drawn to her like a magnet pulled toward its opposite pole.
“You look like a tropical goddess,” he said, his eyes locked on the tinted pink of her lips. He extended his arm for her to take.
“That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” she said. She playfully patted his arm as she walked past him with that sass he liked so much.
She ventured a good ten steps before she turned and giggled. “I’m not going the right way, am I?”
He shook his head and poked his thumb over his shoulder.
She came back to stand next to him and took his arm. “I guess I’ll follow you, then.”
Most restaurants in Mimosa Key weren’t busy on Sunday evenings, but this was February, nearly the height of tourist season, so Matt had made reservations just to be safe. He also wanted to ensure they got the best table on the patio, the semi-private one with a picture-perfect view of the Gulf.
“Oh, this is gorgeous,” Andi said as the waitress led them to the table and Matt pulled out her chair. “I could never get tired of this view.”
Me, either, Matt thought, watching her gently set her elbows on the table and rest her chin in her hands.
When they looked over the menus, both landed on the same dishes, torn between the Parmesan-crusted tilapia and citrus-glazed salmon. So they ordered both with plans to share.
Andi folded her hands in front of her. “So, about my list...”
Matt gave her his full attention. “Yes, your list.” The one she’d written his name on, the one with the heart.
“I’m feeling overwhelmed by all of the things that need to be done—”
“That’s why I’m here.”
Andi sighed. “You can’t do everything. She’s not even your mom.”
“I care about Millie.”
“I know you do.” She knotted her hands together. “This is more about... I just think...”
He reached forward and covered her hands with one of his. “What?”
She closed her eyes, then opened them, revealing the brown depths in which he already loved to lose himself. “If I had come sooner—”
“She still would have developed dementia.”
Andi chewed on that for a moment. “True, but...”
“The past can’t be changed, Andi, but the future, that’s fair game.”
And man, that was one lesson he still tried to learn for himself. Accept the past. Live in the present. Plan for the future. Those words sounded so cut and dry when he recited them to someone else. In reality, he knew just how heavy the coulda, shoulda and wouldas of life weighed on a person.
He’d never change his past, considering the people in his life now as a result of the decisions he’d made. But his future did keep him up some nights. Sure, he’d be fine if he stayed at Hope Presbyterian indefinitely, and maybe that’s where the Lord wanted him, since his family had deep roots in the area and his past was accepted here. If he tried to go somewhere else, though, church leaders might not be so gracious.
Andi fiddled with her silverware, and the clinking brought him back from his thoughts. They made small talk until the food came, and Matt halved his entree, sliding one portion onto her plate.
As they finished their food, he saw the storm clouds roll back into her eyes.
“If I’d come sooner, maybe I’d have seen the signs, gotten her to a specialist—”
Matt held up his hand. “Millie’s seeing the best memory care experts in south Florida. Dwight made sure of that.”
She shrugged. “Seems like I underestimated Dwight in all of this.”
“You were busy, Andi. Give yourself a break.”
“Too busy.” She bit her lip. “The career-versus-family conundrum, as you say.”
He recognized a pity party when he saw one, and decided to cut this one short before Andi wound up in tears on her last night with him. He took her hand across the table and gently stroked her knuckles with his thumb. “What time is your flight tomorrow?”
Andi groaned. “I don’t even want to think about that.” She let out a puff of air. “Ten-forty, I think.”
“So don’t go.”
<
br /> Her eyes widened. “What?”
“Don’t go,” he repeated. “Take a family leave. Stay.”
“I have to go back, Matt.”
“Have to or want to?”
She slowly pulled her hand away and pressed her fists into her lap.
“You must have vacation time,” he insisted. But if he was honest with himself, he knew he wanted her around for more than a few more days.
“I have to be there for the...” her words trailed off as she traced the lines of the tablecloth.
“Ah, yes,” Matt said. He pulled the napkin off his lap and dropped it on the table. “The almighty promotion.”
* * *
Andi was too stunned by his sharp tone to respond. And he made it pretty clear from the way he flagged down the waitress for their bill that they were finished with dinner. So Andi was surprised when he turned to her and offered one of his devastating grins.
“We need a break from this serious stuff,” he said. “Ready for a walk on the beach?”
She huffed. Not only was she not ready for a walk on the beach, she wasn’t ready to let his earlier comment slink out of the room. “I get that you think I’m a workaholic—”
“Didn’t say that.”
She rolled her eyes. “I can read between the lines.”
He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms loosely over his chest.
“When my mom left four years ago, I dumped my heart and soul into CityStyle Magazine and it’s paid off for me. Big time. This promotion is the culmination of all that hard work and all those long weekends.”
“It’s still just a job, Andi.”
“It’s a career, Matt.” She needled him with her eyes. “Plus, I turn thirty this week and feel like—”
“When?”
“When what?”
“Do you turn thirty?”
She rolled her eyes. “Friday, but that’s not the point—”
“Too bad,” he said.