by Amy Lyon
“Doesn’t matter,” she said into his neck.
He leaned back. “Of course it matters.” He pointed to her phone. “Read the message to me.”
She sighed and clicked on her phone. “Chose Lauren for AD—” she looked up “—that means art director. Then she wrote, ‘Lots of work to do. When you coming back? Hashtag priorities’.”
Matt grimaced. “Did you message her back?”
“Called her.”
“Thata girl. What’d she say?”
“Voicemail.” Andi set the phone on the side table. “But then I got a text a few minutes later with a comment about the fact that I wasn’t there during this critical time.”
Matt sighed and Andi pushed out of the chair to slowly pace the porch. He recognized the movement and her clipped tone from the day—one week ago today—when he told her about Millie’s dementia. He rose to meet her by the railing.
“I hate to say everything happens for a reason—”
“Then don’t,” she said. “Because I know the reason this happened. Out of sight, out of mind. I wasn’t there and that’s why Angel chose Lauren. This is my own fault.” She exhaled sharply. “So please don’t tell me everything happens for a reason or my other personal favorite, what doesn’t break you makes you stronger.”
He reached for her wrist. “Just like not everything can be solved with mind over matter.”
She pulled her hand away and locked her arms behind her back.
“I get that you’re upset—”
She huffed. “Upset? No, I’m angry. Furious, in fact.” She balled her hand into a fist and pumped at the air. “What do they say, I’m biting rails and spitting nails—”
“Stop with the cliches.”
“You started it.” She looked up and managed a small, exasperated smile. “This is what I get for putting family first and I have to live with that. Like you said, you can’t have both. The career-versus-family conundrum and, clearly, career lost out.”
Matt reached for her, but she matched his step forward with a backward one of her own, bumping against the railing. Obviously she wanted to nurse her anger awhile longer, but dwelling on the disappointment wouldn’t be good for either of them.
“I know how much you wanted this,” he finally said.
She turned her head to the side and bit her bottom lip. The tears welled in her eyes again. “The cover was so good. Probably some of the best work I’ve ever done.”
“I’m sure it was perfect.”
“Want to see it?”
He nodded. “I’d love to see it.”
She slipped back into her chair and grabbed her laptop from the side table. Matt took the chair across from her and watched as she fired up the computer and clicked on the file. An hourglass appeared, tipping back and forth, back and forth, and then—blank. The screen went black.
Andi gasped. “Dead battery.” She pushed the laptop closed. “Left my charger at the church.”
“Right,” he said. “I found it in the conference room. Keeping it safe in my office.”
Sitting back, she hugged her knees to her chest. “Maybe this is a sign. The end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one.”
Matt willed himself to stay silent. This decision had to be made by her and she didn’t need his two-cents right now.
After a long silence, she tipped her head to the side. “I know I said we would do something fun today, but I’m not really in the mood.”
He put his hand under her chin, turning her to face him. “I have an idea.”
* * *
“Bicycles?” she asked when Matt came out of Beachside Rentals maneuvering two bright yellow bikes with brown baskets mounted in front of the handlebars.
“And not just any bicycles,” he said and honked one of the horns. “Beach bikes.”
She laughed, cheered not only by his infectious enthusiasm, but also by the childlike grin on his face. And those dimples... she went instantly weak in the knees.
Beachside Rentals was located less than a block from the church, next to Mimosa Harbor, and had the same island charm Andi had come to love so much in the last week. Matt shared the story of how he’d reconnected with the owner, a Mimosa High alum named Jackson Levy, at one of the chamber meetings. He’d returned to the island after fourteen years in the military and an honorable discharge, and wanted to be his own boss. Andi sure could appreciate that desire. And Beachside Rentals was born, with its ocean blue shack-style building, thatched grass roof and promise of fun. A large sign out front listed the rental of paddleboards, surfboards, jet skis, kayaks, snorkel gear and more, and Andi imagined what it would be like to experience each of those adventures with Matt.
A sun flare gleamed off the handle bars of the bike Matt wheeled over to her and she dropped her water bottle into the basket. “I haven’t ridden in years,” she said.
“Think you remember how?”
“Definitely.” She swung her leg over the center bar.
He hopped on his bike and pointed to a sidewalk that led to the beach. When they got to the sand, Matt motioned for her to ride in front of him and they cruised, single file, across packed sand that felt no different exertion-wise from the smooth tar trails of Minnesota parks. Except that this was different. Everything about Mimosa Key was different. Andi pedaled forward without a care in the world, the salt air blowing her hair out behind her and cooling her skin. She swerved slightly to miss a few small waves, then lifted her legs as she crashed through a bigger one. Matt laughed behind her and she picked up speed.
The beach seemed to go on forever and just when her legs signaled the first signs of fatigue, Matt sped up next to her and motioned for her to follow him. They wound down a path to a paved area where there was a bike rack. He parked and took a lock out of his basket, then linked their bikes together.
“How far was that?” she asked, uncapping her water and taking a deep swig.
“About five miles.”
She nodded. “Man, the miles fly by when you have beautiful scenery to look at.”
“And a beautiful girl to look at.”
Her cheeks warmed at the compliment. “Pleasure Pointe,” she said, reading the sign in front of them. “I thought this was on your list for a late-night swim.”
He grinned and she longed to see the big blue eyes hidden behind his sunglasses. “There’s a lot on my list you don’t know about, but I’m glad you were listening.”
To every word, she thought.
They walked along the sand toward Pleasure Pointe Pier and found a shaded area near one of the wooden columns under the pier.
“Let’s cool off here.” He sat in the sand and pulled her down to sit in front of him.
Leaning back into him, she sighed. “This is helping, Matt. Thank you for taking my mind off... you know, everything.”
“Gladly,” he murmured next to her ear and she relaxed even more into the comfort of him.
The waves crashed against the rocks and she closed her eyes. Pleasure Pointe was a mere eight miles south of Casa Blanca and Barefoot Bay, but the beaches were drastically different. This one was rocky and rough, whereas the beach in front of Casa Blanca was pure white sand. But the water was just as blue and the magnitude of the ocean was just as great, and being here made her feel small and at peace. Life’s burdens were lifted and she didn’t feel the need to carry the weight of Angel’s demands or CityStyle Magazine, or even what the future held for her back in Minnesota. Here, she could have her own business and make her own rules, and Matt would help her. Gladly. And maybe she could even accept his help without the fear that she would appear weak or needy.
Matt cleared his throat, pulling her from her daydream. “I have to tell you something.”
She craned her neck to look at him. “Okay,” she said. She assumed he was following up on the request she’d made last night for him to open up.
Be careful what you wish for.
She silenced the warning voice in her head with a deep breath and wis
hed they could just sit quietly together without unloading their baggage. Today already felt heavy enough.
“Obviously I’ve dated some girls,” he said and Andi closed her eyes. Oh no. He was about to divulge his dating history and this really was the last thing she wanted to hear about today. But she felt his heart hammering in his chest behind her and she had to be supportive. Especially since she asked for this.
His arms were wrapped loosely around her waist, so she settled her hand on top of his and squeezed. “Of course you have,” she said. “You’re thirty-two years old and incredibly handsome.”
“Well, there was one girl in particular that I’ve known since I was a kid. We were best friends and we went to Florida State University together.” He cleared his throat again. “We tried dating in college and found that neither one of us was very good at the relationship. We were better at being friends, you know?”
Andi turned to look at him, not sure where this was going. Did he still have feelings for this girl?
“So what happened?” she asked, unsure if she wanted to know.
“She was a marine biology major and during the last semester of our senior year she took an internship aboard a ship marine lab. We were young and had basically spent our entire lives up to that point together. She was looking at graduate programs on the west coast and we kind of figured this was it. We’d finally go our separate ways. Well, she came to me the night before she left and wanted to be...” he paused, “intimate with someone she knew and trusted.”
Intimate. The word stung in her mind. “You had sex with her?”
Matt was quiet. Admittedly, she figured that as a pastor he’d saved himself for marriage, and while she’d never gone that far with a man, she had plenty of friends who had. Could she really judge him for that?
She turned to face him. “Was she the only one?”
He nodded.
“You must have really loved her.” Somehow that possibility stung a little more than the physical act. And the reality that if their relationship continued, she wouldn’t be his first.
He shook his head. “Not like...” he searched for the words, “...like love is supposed to be. I had feelings for her because we grew up together and our families always got together to barbecue.”
That did little to comfort her or wash away the acidic taste in her mouth. But she wouldn’t shame him by belaboring his past. What was done was done and he clearly was broken up about the decision he’d made.
She decided to thaw the ice that tried to build between them. “Wait, this isn’t who you are planning to introduce me to at the barbecue tomorrow, is it?”
Matt had the graciousness to laugh. “Of course not. It’ll just be me, my mom, my sister—”
“Phew,” she said. She knew Fancy and, of course, he wanted her to formally meet his sister, Maggie.
Matt sighed. “We’re not close like that anymore. She’s married now and has her own life.”
Andi knew about mistakes and that all sin was equal, but the reality that he’d been with another woman and that the first time wouldn’t be something they could share together hurt in a new area of her heart. She’d never been close enough to any man to care that much, and in some ways she felt better knowing Matt and this girl had grown up together and had a solid friendship before they... she swallowed hard. In another way, their closeness made the truth hurt even more.
She shifted in the sand to look at him. “Do you regret it?”
Matt tipped his head to the sky and let out a long exhale. “That’s a hard question to answer. There’s so much more to it than that.”
“Because you cared about her?”
His brows drew together thoughtfully and she felt his foot rub against her leg. But when she looked down and saw that his foot was nowhere near her, she jumped. And screamed. Big black eyes peered at her from atop a pale, cream-colored body.
“What is that?” she shouted and leaped out of his arms.
Matt instinctively scooted back and she tripped over his leg, falling to her hands and knees in the sand. She scrambled to her feet as he let out a great peal of laughter.
“Ghost crab,” he said and pointed to the creature scurrying sideways under the pier.
Andi bent at the waist and panted, frantically rubbing her arms. “It was attacking me.”
“They’re harmless,” he said and rose to his feet.
She caught his amused eyes. “You sure about that?”
“I’m sure he was just curious about you,” he said and rubbed her back.
“He was coming at me with that big—” she held up her arm to mimic it “—claw thingy.”
He chuckled. “They eat small animals, not pretty girls.”
Andi huffed. “Sure looked like he wanted to take a bite out of me.” She opened her mouth and put her index fingers to her teeth. “Did you see the fangs on that sucker?”
Matt’s laugh was deep and warm. “And by tonight I bet he’ll grow from the size of a softball to the size of a basketball.”
“Maybe,” she said and stifled a giggle with her hand.
“Speaking of tonight,” he said. “We should head back so we can take showers before we go to bingo.”
She checked the sand around her before taking a step. That crab had certainly crept up on her as silently as a ghost.
“I have something else I want to share with you,” he said and took off his sunglasses to reveal those stunning blue eyes. “I want you to know everything there is to know about me.”
Andi took her sunglasses off her head and pushed them over her nose. “What you’ve told me is probably good for today,” she said and set off walking.
Matt captured her hand and walked alongside her across the beach and back to the bikes. “Today is a special day,” he said, swinging her hand. “I say we grab a cone at Ms. Icey’s when we get back.”
She turned to him and smiled. This was a special day indeed.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Andi’s legs were wobbly like Jell-O that evening as she and Matt crossed the church parking lot, his hand wrapped around hers. When they reached the steps, his cell phone rang.
“Go ahead,” he said and pulled the door open for her. “I’ll be there in a sec.”
She slipped inside and headed toward the office, checking her phone as she walked. She picked up her pace when she saw the time. They only had fifteen minutes to grab her computer charger and get across the causeway to Circles of Care. She wouldn’t disappoint her mother by being late.
When she rounded the corner into the office, she spotted Gloria behind the desk, her big black glasses peering into a book.
“You’re still here?” she asked.
“Miss Andi,” Gloria said, closing her book. “Just waiting on the carpet cleaners to finish so I can lock up.”
Andi drummed her fingers on the reception countertop. “They’re lucky to have you.”
“Dang right,” she said. “So what brings you here?”
Andi threw her thumb over her shoulder. “Matt’s out there on the phone. Forgot my computer charger.” She pointed down the hallway. “Can you unlock his office for me?”
“It’s open for those slow-poke cleaners. Never met two men so leisurely in my life. Must get paid by the hour.” She pointed past Andi. “Second door on the right.”
Andi headed down the hallway and stepped into Matt’s office. The familiar scent of him lingered in the air. She inhaled the smell of his body wash and... peppermints. On his desk was a bowl of the red-and-white striped candies and she imagined him kicked back in his chair, sucking on the sweetness as he planned his next sermon.
A surge of excitement rippled through her at the realization that if she stayed, if she really left Minnesota for Mimosa, she’d be here every Sunday to hear him preach. Pride swelled in her heart. She spotted the computer cord on top of the filing cabinet by the window, and reached for it at the same moment her eyes fell on the pictures on his desk. Lots of pictures. Of a little girl.
>
She turned for a better look and the room spun around her. A card. I love you, daddy written in blue Crayon. Peering out through eyes that didn’t feel like her own, she picked up a picture of Matt and...
“Find it?”
She flipped around to see Gloria in the doorway. She motioned to the picture Andi held. “Have you met Lily?”
“Lily?”
“Matt’s daughter,” Gloria supplied.
She shook her head and the whirling sensation continued. “I didn’t know...” Her words trailed off and she clutched her stomach.
Gloria sighed. “I’m sorry he didn’t tell you yet, but I’m sure he planned to say something when the time was right.”
Andi huffed. “Which would have been never since I leave in two days.”
Gloria clucked her tongue. “His little girl has been gone to California with her mother for nearly two weeks and gets back early in the morning. My guess is he wanted to talk to Lily about you before he introduced the two of you. She didn’t handle things real well when her mother got married.”
“But Matt and I aren’t getting married,” she said. “And he could have told me about her. I just—” She squeezed her hands around the charger cord. “Maybe he just wasn’t interested enough in me to share something so personal.”
“More like he didn’t think you’d be interested in him after he shared something so personal,” Gloria countered.
Andi spotted Matt coming down the hallway. He slowed when his eyes met hers, and she quickly put the picture down and clutched her computer cord even tighter.
Gloria backed away and Matt took her place in the doorway. He pointed to his desk, then shoved his hands deep into his pockets. “That’s the other thing I wanted to talk to you about,” he said.
* * *
Andi brushed past Matt and he felt instantly sick to his stomach. This was exactly the situation he wanted to avoid. He followed her, but she clipped along at such a fast pace that she seemed not to hear him tell her to stop before she whipped open the front door. The force of the hit knocked the outdoor railing clear off its posts.