by Vicki James
It wasn’t strong enough for that anymore.
With a jolt of reality, I gasped and pulled an inch away. “Danny, stop. I… I can’t.”
His eyes were still closed, and his hand curled around my neck firmly.
“I can’t do this,” I whispered.
“I’m… sorry…” he breathed out. “I just…” Danny dropped his forehead to mine, and the two of us sat there for a moment with heavy breaths, pounding hearts, and his touch burning the skin on the back of my neck. “Fuck, I want you so badly, everything aches. Being here with you… it’s so damn easy, Zee.”
“You don’t want easy anymore.”
“I want you.” His brow creased, scrunching his eyes tighter together. “Right now, I want to bury myself inside of you and lose a night by your side.”
“You can’t say things like that to me.”
“I know, and that only makes me want to say them even more.”
“I should go.”
“Should. I fucking hate that word.”
“Okay,” I whispered, reaching around and peeling his hand away. It landed in my lap with a thud, and even though his fingers were against my thighs, I didn’t move them. “Then let me say it more clearly. I’m going to go now.”
When his lashes fluttered open, Danny looked at me with so much pain, I almost caved. Another second of staring into green eyes I wanted to overdose on, and I’d be ruined for another five years. Maybe even a decade.
I uncurled myself from his embrace as carefully as I could before I stood up and over him.
He stared up at me with wide, wanting eyes.
“Bye, Danny,” I croaked. With a deep breath, I searched for strength I wasn’t sure I had, and I turned on my heels to leave. I made it to the hallway doorway before I heard his voice again.
“Daisy?”
I spun slowly, taking him in one last time.
“I’m sorry I keep forgetting you have a boyfriend, and I’m sorry if you think that kiss I just stole was a step too far. I can’t help but feel like you’re still mine, and I know that’s wrong. It’s not fair to you. I want to try and be fair because you deserve that.” He began to stand, and it wasn’t long before he’d pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and hunched his shoulders together as he began to walk forward. “I know you’re not the type of woman to betray someone you love. Don’t feel guilty for that kiss. That was all me. You have nothing to feel bad about.”
To my surprise, he looked genuinely frustrated with himself… and guilty, too.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I admitted weakly.
“What?” Danny frowned.
“Ben… he’s not my…” I exhaled heavily. “He’s not my boyfriend, Danny. He never has been.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You don’t have to understand, okay.” I ran a hand across my forehead. “I’m sorry. I just can’t do this with you tonight. I have to go.”
Before he or I could say another thing, I marched out of the house, knowing that if I didn’t leave soon, I’d only regret it in a few days when he left. I couldn’t have any more regrets with Danny. That bucket was already full.
Still, once I arrived home, I couldn’t stop running my fingers over my swollen lips or over the back of my neck where his touch had been. Every moment with him burned, and despite me wanting to hate it, I was starting to crave the pain all over again.
My body was at war with my heart, and I had no idea how I was going to get them to live together in harmony anymore.
Twenty-Three
“Daisy?” Ben’s voice was sleepy when he answered my call.
“Were you in bed?” I asked, shuffling my legs under my bum as I sat on my bed.
“No. Just napping on the sofa.”
“It’s after eleven. That’s not napping, Ben, that’s full-on sleeping.”
“Yeah, yeah. What’s up? Why are you calling me this late?” Another groan and a huff of breath, and I could tell that he was rolling himself to sit up—probably on the sofa in his living room. “Is this a booty call?”
The idea had crossed my mind, but I was no actress, and I knew it wouldn’t take long for both Ben and me to realise I was trying to replace my feelings for Danny with temporary relief from Ben. That wasn’t fair to any of us.
“You wish.” I chuckled.
“Not going to deny that. But seriously… is everything okay?”
“I just wanted to apologise.”
“What for?”
“Leading you on for so long.” Ben met that statement with silence, forcing me to speak again. “You are one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met, and as much as I’ve enjoyed every moment with you, leaving you hanging was a shit trick to play, and I’m sorry for that.”
“And you had to tell me this now?”
“I guess so, yeah.”
“Why? What’s brought it on?”
I thought about lying, but I was sick of that already. Lying to everyone, especially myself, was exhausting. “Because Danny kissed me tonight, and I hated the way it felt to know that, even if he enjoyed it for a second, it wouldn’t be enough to keep him in Hope Cove, and I didn’t like the way that left me feeling. Then I thought of you.”
“Jesus, Dais,” he said, blowing out a breath. “You don’t go easy on yourself, do you?”
“Apparently not.” I picked at some loose thread on the inseam of my jeans.
“Was it really because you felt guilty, or are you calling because you want someone to talk to who you don’t think will judge the fact that you’ve kissed the guy who broke you?”
“Maybe that, too.”
“Do you want me to come over?”
“No… it’s not that bad. I’m—”
“Fine. Yeah. I get that, but I can be there in a minute if you need me.”
“How about we meet for lunch tomorrow? If you’re free, I mean.”
“I’ll always make time for you, Dais.”
I smiled to myself, knowing it was true. “One thirty? I’ll take you to The Lobster Shed if you want. My treat.”
“I don’t need a bistro meal attached to your apology. Let’s slum it at The Hideaway with a twenty-pound burger instead.”
“Sounds reasonable.” I laughed to myself, knowing The Hideaway was just as expensive as The Lobster Shed. “And Ben?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for being a good friend.”
“I live for that friend-zone.”
With a small laugh, I ended the call, feeling a little lighter at having admitted that kiss with Danny to someone other than the two of us. I couldn’t explain why I didn’t want it to feel like some dirty little secret. Maybe I wanted to immortalise that moment in case I woke up the next day and thought it had been nothing but a dream.
I was about to jump off the bed and go to brush my teeth when my phone rang again.
“Hello?” I answered without thinking.
“Zee...”
My name on his lips left me breathless. “Danny?”
“Do me a favour and open your front door.”
“You’re… here?”
“Yeah.”
I kept the phone pressed to my ear as I made my way down the stairs. When I came to a stop, the front door taunted me, testing that pounding heart of mine.
“Before I let you in, tell me why you’re here,” I said to the white panels of wood he stood beyond.
“Because it turns out that you don’t belong to another man, which means I’ve got a small chance of making you mine again, and I’m not going to waste another second of my time with you when the only thing I’ve dreamt about for the last five years is making love to you again.”
I opened the door slowly, without thought, and the two of us stood there with our phones up and our eyes forward.
“Just because I don’t belong to another man doesn’t mean you can make me yours again.”
“Now try saying that with conviction.”
I searched his face, my own f
lushed with heat as desire tore through me. A small smirk tugged at the corner of my mouth. I couldn’t control it no matter how much I tried.
Danny took a step forward. “You’ve got thirty seconds to make your mind up and say no to me, otherwise I’m walking in, and I’m carrying you up those stairs to do things to your body you couldn’t imagine a man doing before tonight.”
I hitched in a breath, feeling it stuttering in my chest. Years of frustration had built up within me, and now the only man who could rid me of that and set my body free was staring at me, asking me to come up with a reason to say no. There was no solid reason to say no except for that of my wounded pride, and that was currently being drowned out by the fiery arousal that was making my stomach burn with need.
If I was going to my new reality of another living Hell anyway, I may as well have some fun along the way.
“How many seconds do I have now?” I asked him, ending the call and tucking my phone into the pocket of my jeans.
“I’d guess around twenty.”
“Nineteen… eighteen,” I whispered.
Danny’s eyes lit up, and he pushed his phone into his own pocket before he raised his arms and pressed them against the doorframe and leaned forward. His biceps stretched and popped, and his smile grew. He was ready to pounce, and I was ready to fall backwards. As much as that war within me raged on, only one side was ever going to win tonight.
Sometimes you just had to charge into the carnage and pray for your survival.
“Eight,” he mouthed. “Seven… six… five...”
I took another step back towards the stairs. “... four… three… two…”
“One,” he whispered. As soon as the word left his mouth, he stepped inside, closing the door behind him, and he marched over to me with eyes of hunger and seduction.
I was up in Danny’s arms in no time, and with a grunt of approval from him, I wrapped my legs around his waist, letting him hold me under my arse cheeks so I was looking down into his alluring green eyes. I was pushed up against the nearest wall with a force that sent the air pouring out of my lungs, and then Danny kissed me violently. His lips took ownership of mine, hot and needy, desperate and wanting as my breaths mingled with his, and the two of us moaned into each other's mouths. Denial met arousal. Frustration met need. Daisy met Danny, and those damn sparks flew between us.
I ran my hands through his hair, dragging nails over his scalp and tugging at the ends with vicious intent. He kneaded my arse cheeks, digging fingers into denim and flesh as though he couldn’t get enough.
A ball of fire burned in the lowest parts of my stomach, begging for him to strip me bare and touch my heat—stroke my clit, and make me come in a way no one but him had ever done. Sex without attachment was great, sure, but sex with that soul-deep connection always seemed to burn so much hotter and brighter.
“Take me upstairs,” I begged against his mouth in between kisses. “Now, Danny.”
Curling his arms around me, he stumbled up the stairs, holding onto me and never taking his mouth from mine. Not even when he occasionally had to reach for the bannister to steady himself.
“Which room?” he growled at the top of the stairs, his teeth sinking into my bottom lip.
“One… on… right.”
His groan was an acknowledgement before he marched us into the room, the door meeting the wall with force. When his feet hit the edge of the bed, he turned and sat on the mattress, letting my knees sink into it as I straddled him and pulled away to take him in.
Danny reached up, cupping my cheeks in his hands. “You kiss differently now.”
“I do everything differently.”
His smile was slow to rise. “Me, too.”
Our lips met somewhere in the middle—the struggle to resist too hard for either of us. Danny fell back, bringing me down with him, my body rolling in waves of desire over him. He was right; I was different now, and that need for some kind of justice and for this to be on my terms raged within me.
After our kisses began to feel like they were bruising, I raised myself up and peeled off my top, letting my bare breasts fall free. Danny’s eyes fell to them while his hands rose to caress the soft, ivory skin he’d been away from for so long. His rough palms fit against them perfectly, and his lips parted as I tossed my top on the floor and let my hands fall beside his head. My braid fell forward, but he didn’t notice. The only thing he could see was my partially naked body.
“You’re so much better than I remembered you,” he said softly before he pulled my chest down to his lips and began to assault my hard nipples with his hot tongue. I groaned, letting my eyes close as a sharp jolt of pleasure shot down from my chest, straight to the intimate parts of me.
His name echoed around in my head—a soft whimper of demands rolling around in there.
If this was our ‘once’ I wanted it to be our everything.
With a roll and a moan that set my heart pounding faster, Danny was soon on top of me, his mouth still around my nipple and his tongue flicking.
“You taste so fucking good, baby.”
My hands were in his hair again, but it wasn’t long before Danny needed more.
Panting and breathless, he pulled back and began to unfasten my jeans. His eyes never left mine when he stepped back and began to tug them down, taking my underwear with him. I raised my arse to help and then flopped back down on the mattress while he pulled them off completely and discarded them on the floor. His hands ran over the skin of my stomach and legs reverently before he shook his head and blew out a breath.
Danny closed his eyes for just a moment, basking in a private thought I wasn’t privy to before he mouthed, “God help me,” and reached for the edges of his T-shirt. He pulled it over his head, revealing his tattooed chest for the very first time.
The sight of it took my breath away.
He’d always been athletic and strong, but now his tanned skin was hidden behind a lot of dark patches—the tattoos he’d had since my absence took over, transforming him from the sweet seaside boy I’d loved into the rock god I wasn’t familiar with.
His eyes found mine as he kicked off his boots and stepped out of his jeans. He stood before me in black fitted boxer shorts that showed off the strong V that had become so much more defined in recent years. His thumb dipped in the edges of his underwear, waiting, as though he needed my approval before he went on.
I gave it to him with a subtle nod, unable to stop myself from licking my bottom lip in anticipation. Danny’s eyes darkened at the sight of it, and he was soon freeing himself and stepping out of his boxes, his erection making me squeeze my legs together.
That was for me.
Tonight, it was mine.
He was on the bed in no time, climbing closer until he hovered over me, his lips parted as his hair hung forward. I ran my hands over his biceps, taking in the ink there before I let my palms trail down over his chest. There were musical notes, his parents’ initials, an electric guitar, and some words I couldn’t make out with only the soft glow of the bedroom lamp providing the light.
“We’re both different now,” I said quietly, studying the various ink he’d collected along the way. My fingers trailed up to his left shoulder, and I pulled his arm around to get a better look. Waiting for me was a single, giant, partially shaded daisy head taking up the rounded part of his shoulder there. Goosebumps took control of my body in a wave of disbelief before I looked back up at him and whispered, “Is that what I think it is?”
“Depends what you think it is.”
“A daisy?”
“Then it’s what you think it is, yeah.”
“But…”
Lowering himself onto me, Danny nudged my legs apart and settled himself there, brushing his hands over my hair and trapping my face between his arms. “But what?”
“You got rid of me so easily.”
“If you think walking away was easy, you’re wrong. It fucking killed me, but I did it because if I hadn’t, I’d
have resented myself, and that would have turned to me resenting you, too. Some things have to be done, and some shit is hard to make happen, but I’ve done it. I’ve done it, I love it, but none of that means I stopped loving you while I went out there and got my act together.”
“You still love me?”
“I never fucking stopped,” he breathed. “Not even for a day.”
Tears threatened to form again, but I swallowed them down, desperate to create heat rather than emotion. “Now would be a good time to fuck me, superstar,” I whispered. “Kiss me, and then fuck me the way you promised me you would.”
“Zee…”
“Please, Danny.”
He took a second before he dropped his lips back to mine and poured everything he had into it. Before long, he’d kissed his way down my neck, chest, and stomach until his tongue found the heat waiting there for him, and he circled it slowly over my clit. My legs fell apart instantly, and I closed my eyes as the sensations only Danny could deliver built and built within.
His hands around my thighs made me feel safe.
The expert way his tongue devoured me made me forget we’d ever been apart.
His brand of torture was to build me up and then let the sensations ebb away while he nipped at my thighs and stomach before he’d start the process all over again, pulling away every time I swore to him that I was about to come.
“Not yet,” he breathed again and again. “I won’t have this be over too soon.”
Despite his efforts, it didn’t take me long to come against his mouth—it had been so long since I’d let myself go fully this way—but once wasn’t enough for Danny, and so he kept me pinned down until he made it happen again. By the time he climbed back over me and pressed his wet mouth to my dry lips, my heart felt like it was going to break free from my chest. A sheen of sweat had already collected over my body, and my chest bounced.
“No one tastes like you, Zee. You’re addictive.”
Reaching up to run my hand through the side of his hair made Danny lean into the embrace, his eyes closing as his dick settled between my legs. I didn’t want to think about him tasting anybody but me in the years he’d been away, but now wasn’t the time for it. Not while he was here. Not while he was naked and about to make my hidden fantasies come true.