by Vicki James
“And that’s why, kiddo.” Danny laughed, but it was a fake laugh. A small stage laugh with a smile he didn’t quite feel inside. His eyes were still tight, and the tension around his jaw bothered me. I didn’t want him to feel any more regret than he already did.
“Hey, Jax?” I said, turning to him again. He looked at me, innocent and young, without a care in this new world that Gina had somehow created for him from scratch. “Will you do me a favour?”
“Anything, Aunt Dais.”
“Keep my seat warm a minute. Talk to the guys and Saffron. I have to show Danny something.”
His face sparkled with excitement. “I’d love to.”
I stood up and gestured for Danny to follow me. The others around the table were looking between us both like something big was about to happen, but there was no fire in my heart, and I had to make Danny see that before our night went to shit over a misunderstanding.
Pushing through the crowd wasn’t easy—the bar was definitely getting busier than usual—a fact that had to be down to the band arriving. No doubt everyone in there had been on the phone to their friends, sending pictures of the village’s latest guests, drawing even more people in. The men and women behind the bar looked like deers caught in the headlights, moving quickly to try and fulfil every order at a rate they clearly weren’t used to.
Glancing over my shoulder to make sure Danny was close by, I reached out for his hand, and he took it, letting me lead him outside.
I took us to the edge of the beach, and I walked along the thick harbour wall that curled into the ocean. Once out of sight and earshot of everyone, I turned to Danny.
“Listen, Zee, about what Halo and Theo said back there—”
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t care how pretty that woman is—”
Danny raised a brow. “Absolutely fucking nothing compared to you.”
“That’s… nice. But I don’t care what happened—”
“It was barely a moment.”
“I hear you, but I don’t want to know the details—”
“I didn’t even fucking come!”
I blinked, and pulled back, looking up at him. “Okay. I really didn’t need to know that.”
“You did.” He closed the gap between us. “You need to know because it matters, and you know, her name might pop up again, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. What I can do is be honest and tell you it was a fucked-up drunken thing back at the hotel one night in London. I was high—”
“High?” I squeaked. “Drugs? Danny…”
“A little bit of weed, Zee. That’s it. I swear. I don’t need to do what the other guys do.”
“What do the other guys do?”
“That’s not the point. The point was that JJ was there and looking for anyone to throw herself upon. I was the only one not already sucking someone else’s face off—just slumped in a corner, most likely daydreaming about you… and that’s what got me hard, even when I was high. Not her. Not some socialite I can’t bear to look at. I didn’t even make it to the end before I pulled out, zipped myself back up and asked her to leave.”
He ran his hand through the side of my hair.
“She was nothing. All of them were nothing,” he whispered.
“All?”
Danny’s chest rose as he sucked in a breath. “Yeah.”
“I’m begging you not to elaborate on a number.”
“Are you telling me that Ben was the only guy you slept with while I was gone?”
“Yes.”
“Wow.”
“But we did a lot.”
Danny winced, scrunching his eyes together. “Please… end this conversation now.”
“It’s over.” I wrapped my arms around his neck, forcing him to look at me. “Done.”
“You give in to me too easily.”
“You weren’t saying that at the start of the week.” I chuckled.
“You know what I mean.”
“It’s not easy forcing down the vivid images my imagination throws at me of you with other women—faceless women—but the only other choice is for me to harbour jealousy and hate towards everything I can’t control. I’m tired of those things controlling my life. I’m trying to live for the moment here. To do what makes me happy, just like you made me promise you I would do.”
“I asked you to be real, too, Zee. Don’t fake your compliance for me. I don’t want you docile in all of this.”
“Docile?” I scowled, that particular word making my heart pinch.
“It used to drive me crazy when you’d always put your feelings aside to protect mine. If something bothers you, I want you to say it.”
“Fine. Okay. It bothers me.”
Danny exhaled slowly. “There. That didn’t hurt, did it?”
“A little. Danny, it’s sweet that you want to make my feelings heard, but it’s time you stopped treating me like that co-dependent girl you left behind. I’m a strong woman now—or at least stronger—and if I didn’t want to know about something, I wouldn’t ask, so please let me ask the questions I need to ask when I’m with your friends. Please let me piece together the bits of your life I missed because it makes me feel involved, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted to be.”
He swayed me in his arms, his movements barely noticeable to anyone but us. “You’re definitely stronger. I love your fire. You’re unbreakable now.”
“I’m pretty sure I can still break if you press hard enough.”
“That makes two of us.”
Thirty-Seven
After the initial buzz of the band’s appearance, people backed off a little, though it was impossible to miss the constant glances from across the bar. Call me paranoid, but it felt like a lot of those glances were aimed at me. I could practically smell the judgement rolling off of some of the locals who were eyeing Danny and me together.
Stupid Daisy Piper. Got her heart broken then rode on back for more.
Who does she think she is standing there with them like she belongs?
Didn’t take her long to lose her morals.
She’s not even that pretty.
At least that’s what I imagined them saying. One glance Danny’s way, though, and I somehow forgot to care as much. If he was a mistake, he was my mistake to make. I’d handled the consequences once before, and I’d do it again.
Danny kept flitting between his friends and me, and sometimes I thought he looked a little lost and confused. Like he couldn’t quite decide which direction to be pulled in. In the end, Halo demanded his attention, leaving me to chat to Saffron.
She was a pleasant surprise. A soft heart and kind mouth wrapped up in a slightly intimidating exterior. Our conversation flowed effortlessly, even when that conversation was nothing more than her mocking the guys—together and individually—while I laughed along, feeling strangely at home among a group of people I hadn’t even known three nights ago.
I was occupied watching Fletch and Theo battle it off in a drunken arm wrestle when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Turning around, I saw Ben smiling down at me.
“Hey, Dais.”
“Ben!” I threw the arm that wasn’t holding a drink around his neck and pulled him in for a hug. He smelt so familiar and warm, yet it dawned on me then that it also felt like a lifetime since I’d clung to him this way, and even though his body was welcoming, I hadn’t ever really melted into it.
Had so little time really passed since I’d been with him? It felt like a lifetime.
“Who are you here with?” I asked when I pulled away.
“Just a few lads from the cricket club.” His gaze drifted over my head to take in the wildness of the band behind me before he looked back down at my face. “Are you doing okay?”
“I’m good.” I squeezed his arm. “I promise.”
Ben’s eyes searched mine, and I knew that he wasn’t too convinced that I wasn’t strapping myself to the front of a train and sacrificing my future here. “Good.” He eventually smiled.
; I opened my mouth to speak when a pair of arms slid around my waist, and a chin propped on my shoulder.
Danny.
A small grunt rose in my throat when he squeezed me tight—a hold that felt protective, and dare I say it, a little territorial.
Ben’s attention drifted to him, and he chucked his chin. “Hey.”
“Hey, man. How’s it going?” Danny asked, sounding far too chipper.
“Good, thanks. Just… saying hey to Dais.”
“You want to join us for a drink?”
My eyes widened, and I slid out of Danny’s hold as carefully as I could without it, hopefully, giving my awkwardness away. Okay, so I didn’t want them to hate on each other, but the two men I’d slept with clinking beers and sharing bad dad jokes was not my idea of—
“Erm… sure.” Ben shrugged, not seeming fazed in the slightest.
Oh. Okay.
We were doing this then.
Great.
Men. What was it about them? How come everything was so damn black of white? Surely they saw the million shades of grey roaming above us here.
Before I could stop it from happening, Ben had beckoned his three cricket buddies over—who I’d met before—and the drinks were being passed around, while I stood there, feeling a little surreal about everything that had become my life in the last seven days.
A single week had the ability to change everything. My emotions had flipped one-eighty. The people had changed roles. My morals had become questionable, and I was no longer drifting around in a sad haze. A constant current ran through me now like my blood was rushing around from place to place, living faster, moving faster, excited that everything about me was now faster, faster, faster instead of sliding along at a slug-like pace.
I couldn’t take my eyes off Ben who was now slapping his thigh and throwing his head back as laughter tore through him at something that Saffron and Archer had said.
As much fun as we’d had, my absence hadn’t broken him like Danny’s had broken me, and that was nothing if not reassuring.
Danny’s hand slipped into my free one sometime later, and he pressed his arm to mine. He side-eyed me with that knowing half-smirk in place.
“Bet you thought I was going to beat him up or some shit, huh?”
“I may have had a moment of uncertainty.”
He looked over to Ben, his chest inflating and deflating slowing. “Can’t hate a guy who’s never done you wrong, can I?” His eyes fell to me. “No matter how much I want to.”
“You know, for a rock star, you’re more reasonable than I thought you’d be.”
“What can I say? I like seeing you look proud of me rather than disappointed. I have a lot to make up for.”
I nudged his shoulder with mine. If only he knew.
The night wore on, the alcohol flowed, and for a short while, I believed that two completely different worlds could come together to live in harmony. By the time it grew closer to eleven o’clock, though, I could see Halo and Theo twitching, as though they needed something Hope Cove couldn’t deliver. In terms of nightlife, this was it.
The bar manager had turned the music on as loud as it would go, and Halo was jamming along, his eyes closed and air guitar in full flow before he threw his hands in the air and shouted out to the rest of the guys, “Fuck it. What do you say we liven this place up?”
“Don’t do it, Halo…” Archer warned, but his smile was in place.
“Here he goes,” Saffron muttered.
“Awe, man, do we have to? I’m chilled over here,” Fletch grumbled from his slumped position on the chair closest to the window. “We don’t always have to be on, Halo.”
“The fuck we don’t. Wait right here. I’ll be back.”
We watched as he made his way through the crowd, who were now following his every move as he pushed his way to the bar, bouncing on his toes like there was a fire behind him, and he had to escape to survive. When he reached his destination, he gesticulated to the bar manager who was nodding along, staring up at Halo like he was a living money tree that had been planted slap bang in the middle of his place to pluck notes from. The two of them laughed at something, and Halo brought an imaginary microphone to his mouth and started dancing around on his feet.
“Oh, jeez,” Danny said beside me.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“You’ll see.”
It wasn’t long before Halo was power-walking back to us with a cheek-shattering grin on his face. “It’s happening!” he cried.
“What is?” I asked, only for every head in our party to turn my way.
Halo’s eyes locked on mine. “It’s party time, baby. Let’s shake this sleepy village of yours up a bit.” Before I could respond, he’d practically jumped on the table, sending a few empty glasses shaking and rolling to the floor, only for the others to catch them where they could.
I stared up at him, my eyes wide and mouth open.
On cue, the music died down around us, leaving nothing but the chattering of the locals to fill our ears until Halo pushed his fingers into his mouth and whistled to the crowd.
The chatter died down slowly, and heads began to turn his way, each one of them looking up at the frontman of Front Row Frogs like they couldn’t believe he was real.
The bar manager soon arrived at Halo’s side and reached up to pass him a microphone, which made Danny groan. Theo clapped his hands and shouted a ‘Fuck yeah!’ at the top of his lungs.
Halo held that mic in his hand like it was an extension of his body, twirling it around before he brought it to his mouth.
The uproar was like nothing before around here, and my face lit up as I took in each and every one of the locals, seeing them through brand new eyes. Just because I’d lived under a rock, it didn’t mean they had, and the look on grown men and women’s faces reminded me of the fact.
Everyone’s been living but me.
“Enthusiasm. That’s what I like to hear,” Halo said with a laugh. “How about I sing you a song or two?”
Just like that, Hope Cove was gifted with its very own one-man concert. Halo’s voice was like magic. I’d heard it before, of course, but with everything stripped away and only Archer creating a drumbeat on a nearby table, Halo’s talent shone.
When I looked up at Danny, his eyes were closed, and he had his lips pressed together as the most ridiculously low, sexy humming made the veins in his neck pop and his jaw tense. He was in the zone, and something about seeing him lost in his own version of art made me tear up with emotion.
Burning the bridge to you was a step too far,
Couldn’t run to my obsession,
Couldn’t meet under the stars.
The biggest mistake
I ever made
Was putting you behind the guitar.
Danny’s eyes opened to find mine, and he gifted me with a flirtatious wink that made my heart pound in my chest.
After four songs, Halo announced he wanted to finish on a track he’d grown up listening to with his father, and he dove straight into Elvis Presley’s, Always on My Mind, giving it a rock edge that somehow fit.
The lyrics mixed with Halo’s voice made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and suddenly, the only place I wanted to be was in Danny’s arms, completely alone, with no one else taking my attention from his face.
Pressing up against him, I placed my hands on his chest. “Take me home,” I begged him quietly. “I need you to myself a while.”
“I have a better idea.”
Thirty-Eight
We climbed to our favourite spot on the rooftop of Rosemary Ford’s bed and breakfast, and we sat on the thick ledge, with our legs dangling over.
Of course, that’s where he’d taken me. It was better than home.
I wasn’t that good with heights, but this wasn’t exactly a skyscraper, and I knew I was somehow safe with Danny.
The ocean twinkled in front of us, flashes of the moon’s white settling over black, inky, soothing wave
s. The sound of them crashing against the shore stripped the heaviness of the night away, leaving me to rest my head on Danny’s shoulder. His hands were clasped together on his lap as he looked straight ahead.
“I’m going to miss this more than I ever thought I would,” he said quietly. “I spent my whole life thinking there had to be more out there for me to see. It turns out that Hope Cove is some of the best of it. You really don’t realise what you had until it’s gone.”
“It’s always been here… waiting for you to come back.” Like me. “You needed to follow the music.”
“I left for you, too, you know.”
“For me?”
“I loved the way you loved me, Zee, but I was also terrified by the responsibility of your happiness being solely in my hands.”
Pulling away, I looked at him, my face blank. No one emotion registered because, truthfully, I didn’t know what I was feeling.
Danny’s expression turned sad. “You’ve always gone through life doing what makes everyone else happy. First your mum and dad. You went to church for years and years, even though you hated it, and they never suspected a thing. All you cared about was making them happy, no matter the cost. Then I came along, and you threw everything you had at me. And believe me, as a young, horny, in love teenage boy, I wanted to take it. I wanted to take everything you had to give because it meant the world to me. Look at you, Daisy. Just look at you.
“I could tour the world for twenty years and not come across another woman like you, but that last year of us being together… fuck.” He sighed. “You scared the shit out of me. Blowing your savings on making my dreams come true. Going to the college I went to. Choosing the same subjects. Telling me all the time, ‘The only thing I need in my life is you’ and never once thinking about what you wanted. Forgiving me for my irrational mood swings without standing up for yourself. Putting me before everything.”
“I didn’t realise I was such a burden.”