by ChaShiree M.
Today is the big day. The crew has been here since the crack of dawn doing reels and shit. Whatever that means. Hank and Loki have been here basically for 24hrs preparing the food. I have been surprisingly calm. It helps that this day is all about the chefs and the food. Loki and Hank will walk them through how to make his famous Duck a l ‘Orange with French cut green beans and garlic butter mashed potatoes. I have been content to help get the crew things, like water and such.
The day is long and tiring especially for me given my delicate situation. But it is worth it to see my man and his brother getting the recognition they both deserve. By the time the day’s over, I am dead on my feet and so is Hank. We fall into bed together exhausted. The last thing he says to me is, “Just think, one more day of this. Tomorrow we have to look our best on camera. It shouldn’t be too hard for you, baby. Get some rest.” What the fuck?
Walking into the restaurant the next day, I am a puddle of nerves. When I see Taryn, I begin to feel marginally better. At least, I won’t be necessary. She can do everything.
“Hey, Cadi. I was hoping you would be here. They want to interview not only staff, but also the spouses and significant others of the chefs, including the bakers. Are you camera ready girl?”
“Wh-what? I-I’m nobody. They don’t need to talk to….”
“Baby come here. Our interview is up first. You ready?” He asks me as he is pulling me to him.
I feel as my body starts to tense knowing that I am going to have to do something drastic to get out of this. My mind is working overtime to think of a plan when I see a flash. Not equating my mind with what I know I just saw, I turn towards the flash only to be met with another. It's then I can feel the fear and nausea boiling over inside me, knowing I have now put the man I love and his entire family in danger. Perspiration is forming and my heart is sputtering rapidly as the panic sets in. The room begins to spin, and the very last thing I remember saying is…
“Oh God. No!!!” And everything goes black.
7
Hank
What the fuck? I spring into action by catching her before she falls. She must have fainted due to the pregnancy and all of the stress of this weekend.
“I’m taking her home,” I tell Taryn and Loki, who just walked up to us. I carry her out to the truck and set her down in the passenger seat. By the time I make my way around to the driver’s seat, she’s awake.
“What was that about?” I ask. I want her to tell me the truth.
“I’m hot. It was hot in there, wasn’t it?” She questions while rolling down her window. We are in the middle of an April blizzard. It’s fucking freezing.
“That’s what you’re going with?”
“What do you mean?” She asks looking over at me.
“Never mind, babe. Let’s just get you home and into bed.
“That sounds good,” she says running her hand up and down my thigh.
“I meant to rest,” I say taking her hand off me. It’s a dick move, but I don’t like being lied to.
“Oh,” she says putting on her seatbelt.
I drive the short distance to our house. She goes inside and I sit in the truck for a few minutes. By the time I get in the house, she’s in the shower. I don’t know how much longer I can let her lie to me.
I pull my uniform off and toss it in the laundry basket she put in the closet for me. I gotta say it’s a lot better than my old method of tossing everything into a huge pile until Erika or my mom came over and washed it all for me. Before Cadi, my whole life was UTGARD. There was never time for anything else. She breezed into my life and made it better. I just wish she’d trust me enough to tell me what the fuck is going on.
The next morning, I leave her in bed. She got up in the middle of the night to throw up but said it was something she ate.
Once I get to UTGARD, Loki is already there prepping. Today is the final day of filming. The camera crew from Delicious Eats is there setting up. I do my interview that I didn’t get a chance to do yesterday, and then I prep for the live show. They splice in prerecorded things to spice up the show, pun intended.
“What’s up, man?” He asks. “You look like shit.” He only looked up briefly, so maybe he didn’t get a good enough look.
“I feel like shit. Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course,” he says chopping zucchini for his Zucchini Delight soup. I think it tastes like what old gym socks must, but it’s a big seller. Probably because it’s always so cold here any form of soap is a godsend.
“What would you do if you found out Tabby was keeping things from you?”
“I’d confront her. Best to work these things out. Don’t let it fester.” He doesn’t look up from his work.
“Sound advice. You ready to do this?” I ask, more than ready to get this day over with. I need to talk to Cadi and lay it all out on the line. The ring I selected from the Elite Collection with Torran is burning a hole in my pocket. The ring belonged to my great aunt Ire. It’s rose gold with a large diamond. And delicate, just like Cadi.
“Ready.”
The day goes by in a blur. Before I realize it, it’s eight at night and the film crew is finally gone. When I walk into the kitchen, I see my entire family standing around the prep counter. We are having a little party to celebrate the show. It was live tonight. The prep table brings back memories of fucking Cadi on it. Damn, my cock starts to harden thinking about it. Looking around the room, I see her holding a champagne glass and I see red. I walk right up to her and knock the glass out of hand.
“What the fuck, Hank?” she shouts as does several of my siblings who got splashed from the champagne.
“How dare you?” I accuse.
“How dare I, what?” she challenges.
“That’s my fucking baby too,” I shout. I’m pissed that she would be so reckless.
“What?” she asks, looking around the room. Her face is bright red, and she looks like she is about to cry.
“I know you’re pregnant. First, you keep it from me. Now, you're drinking. How can you be so careless with something so precious?”
“Drinking? It was fucking apple juice, Hank. How did you even know I was pregnant?”
“I saw your vitamins and nausea meds,” I say.
“You went into my purse?” she says outraged.
“Oh, shit man, the purse is off limits,” my dad says. “I thought I taught you that.” I roll my eyes. My dad did say that, but I really wish we were alone right now.
“I didn’t go in your purse. They were on the counter in your old apartment,” I say.
“You’ve known that long?”
“Yeah. I was waiting for you to tell me about it,” I say, still shouting. Fuck, I need to get a grip.
“I can’t believe you, Hank. I can’t deal with all this right now,” she says making wild hand gestures around the room. “I gotta go,” she says looking around at my family before fleeing out the back door. I stand there for a few minutes staring at the door she just left through.
“Are you just going to stand there?” Erik says.
“What?” I ask shaking my head.
“Go after her,” he says.
“Right,” I say and take off after her.
Fuck. I love that woman with all my heart, and I may have overreacted, but as soon as I get home, we are figuring this shit out once and for all.
8
Acadia
This is what I was afraid of is running through my mind as I am crying and walking out the door. Walking is actually putting it mildly. It is more like sprinting. My emotions overtake my body as I make it to the house and pack my bags. I feel everything.
I am extremely mad at Hank for blurting out about the baby in front of everyone and making me look like a harpy that was keeping his baby from him. I suppose I can see how it would look to him with me knowing the whole time and not telling him. It makes me cry even more. My body is shaking from the sobbing. The pain in my chest gets tighter as I allow the knowledge t
o remember what I am going to give up resonate. He is literally my air. I can feel the suffocation set in. My lungs are demanding I inhale and get its oxygen back.
I would never hurt him intentionally and planned on telling him. I just didn’t know how and when with everything being so messed up. This is why secrets are the devil. They fuck everything up.
I’m sure I only have a second to get my things before Hank comes through the door. If he does that, I will never have the courage to leave him. Knowing I can’t take much, because I don’t know where I will end up, I make sure and take the pics of us at the last date we went on. I want to remember us like that. Happy and in love, though I have yet to admit it to him.
To top it all off, the damn camera crew got me on live TV. What the fuck. Staying here is no longer an option. I won’t jeopardize Hank and his family because I don’t want to leave them. And when I say them, I mean all of them. I love every single one of this wonderful family. My baby would have been lucky to have been born into this exuberant, supportive, and beautiful family.
“Don’t worry baby. You and I are going to make a new home somewhere the bad man can’t find us.” I only wish your daddy could come with us. Through blurry tear-filled eyes, I check to make sure I have all I am going to take. Stopping for a second, I write the love of my life a note. I know it won't take away the pain. But maybe…who the hell am I kidding? This will destroy him as much as it is me.
Grabbing my bags, I walk out the door. It isn’t until I am locking it that I hear one of the two voices I never wanted to hear again.
“Well. Well. Well. If it isn’t little Sophia. Running away so soon?” Shit. Fuck. Damn.
“Angelo. What are you doing here?” It’s not as if I don’t know the answer already. Angelo is my father's second in command. At thirty-five years old, he stands 6'0’ and is 250 pounds of pure Italian malice. My father had once hoped we would wed when I turned 18. He would be able to keep me close. But once I figured out what my dad really did, I knew Angelo had to be just as bad. That was all it took to send me running in the other direction.
“Are you gonna come quietly or am I going to have to force you?”
“Fuck you.” I spit at him. He knows damn well I am going to fight him. I have never been docile.
“I wanted to. You ran. Remember. Now get in the fucking car, Sophia. Your father has waited long enough. Don't make me tell you again, my little Sophia.” Ugh. God that just made my stomach turn.
“I'm not your little anything. Asshole.”
I keep looking around hoping, even though I don’t want him anywhere near this, that Hank shows up and goes all Ragnar Berserker on his ass. But then again, it could get him killed and I wouldn’t survive that. Deciding it’s best to appear to cooperate, I begin walking towards the car. When he walks ahead of me, I slow down a bit and turn to run. I didn’t notice the other guy to the left of the car who must have been anticipating my actions. He comes out of nowhere. Before he covers my head, he says, “Fucking stubborn ass. Just like her father.” And then I am cast into obscurity.
9
Hank
By the time I make it home, I already know she isn’t there. There is a note on the nightstand. When I open it, I grin at her use of purple ink, but I am not at all prepared for what I am reading.
Ragnar,
Please know that I love you, but I was already knee-deep in my lies when I met you. Please believe me when I say that I have to leave. I don’t want to, but I have to. To keep you and our baby alive. Please. Don’t try to find me. You won’t be able to. I will keep our baby safe, I promise.
XOXO forever
What the fuck? She’s leaving me. Over my dead body. I’m losing my fucking mind right now. I call the only person I can think of at this point.
“Sven?” I ask as he answers the phone. He's not only my brother but my best friend.
“Did you find her? Is everything okay?”
“She left me, man. I don't know what I'm going to do. She's the very air I breathe.”
“I get that. I really do. Why don't you take a few days? I'll hold the fort down.”
“That would be good,” I say. We hang up after he asks me a few more questions, which I have no answers too.
Beatdown, I take a long hot shower before throwing on sweats afterward. I mope around, Jersey Shore is on in the background. Fuck, if that show isn't okay once you get used to it.
For days, I don’t do shit. I stare at the garbage tv and eat nothing but junk. Normally, my body is a temple. I create healthy and delicious foods on a daily basis. Today, I have eaten Captain Crunch from the box and Twizzler’s. All things that Cadi left behind.
I spend days in my house doing absolutely nothing. In fact, it’s three weeks to be exact. Eventually, I do go back to work. But I am only going through the motions. I haven’t been working weekends, so that has given me ample wallowing time. I miss Cadi more than I ever thought possible and I know that I will never get over her.
A knock on the front door surprises me. Don’t people know that I’m miserable here? I don’t think I can deal with people, yet in a social setting, The knocking gets more and more persistent. Eventually, my front door flies open and in walks every single one of my uncles and my father. This should be fun.
“Son. Get off your ass.” My father, Thomas, says kicking my foot.
“Hey, dad. Uncles,” I say dryly.
“You need to get over this. It’s just one girl,” Tori says. Tori is only three years older than I am. Let’s just say that my grandmother is an interesting woman.
“She is the love of my life and she left me.”
“Buck up. You’re a Jorgensen,” Danhy says.
“Besides, she’ll come back. If she loves you enough, she will,” Troy says. I shake my head and pull the note out of my pocket and hand it to him.
“That seems really doubtful,” I say.
“So, you haven’t heard from Sophia?” Om asks me.
Who the fuck is Sophia?” I ask confused.
“Cadi, I mean,” Om says shrugging. Yeah, that was believable.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
“I guess there’s no harm in telling him now,” Hagen says.
“Well?” I say getting more and more pissed by the second.
“It very well may be the reason she’s left you,”
“Gee, thanks,” I say cutting him off.
“But we are no longer able to track her, so we believe there is something wrong.”
“Tracking her? What the fuck do you mean tracker her? Is she in witness protection or something?”
“Kind of. We offer a service like that,” Brand says, staring at his watch.
“Tell me everything,” I say starting to panic.
It sucks that she would leave me, but now it seems like she needs to be rescued as well. As her man, I can’t allow anyone else to rescue her.
They begin to tell me a story I never thought I would hear. Mobsters, dead men, and the like; isn’t something I ever thought would be associated with Sophia. Cadi wasn’t even her real name. Her asking me not to say her name when we made love totally makes sense now, but fuck we’ve wasted so much time.
After I get on board with all I just learned about my woman, I begin to come up with a plan with the help of my uncles and surprisingly my dad. I need her and my kid, plain and fucking simple. I'll do anything to get her ass back here where she belongs. If I have to go a-Viking to do it, I damn sure will. Sophia Marino won’t know what hit her.
10
Acadia
Four Months Later
It’s weird being back in my parent’s home. When I left here, I swore I would never return or call this place my home again. Not under any circumstances, and I meant it. But here I am.
My dad for all intents and purposes has been...well...my dad. He was always a great father. Loving, supportive, and strong. It’s his lifestyle and the knowledge of the things he has done I couldn’t live with, and still can
’t. I have been here for four months. Besides mentioning the baby on the first night, he has managed to ignore my pregnancy. Although I don’t know how. At six months, I am as big as a freaking buffalo. I told him thinking and hoping he would get mad enough to send me away. Of course, he didn’t. He simply told me he was disappointed in me, grumbled some shit about not being married, and walked off.
My mom, on the other hand, heard the word baby and went into grandma mode. She has made the home shopping network her bitch. My son and daughter will have everything they need for the first year of their life if she keeps going at this speed.
Imagine my shock when the doctor my mom called said he did house calls. He brought over machines and shit to be able to monitor me in the house. Fucking psychos. They won’t let me leave the house to go to the doctor. They have me guarded 24/7. I can’t even pee without a committee nearby.
When the doctor came to set everything up, he asked me if I wanted to know the sex? My first instinct was to say no. It felt wrong. It is something Hank and I should be doing together. But then I realized there will be no more Hank. I gave in and said yes. When he took a look, the image showed I am having twins. One of each. I cried. It was a full-on sob. I cried for my babies who won’t get to know their father. For Hank, because he won't get to be their dad. And for myself. For bringing this on myself with secrets and lies.