by Eugène Sue
CHAPTER III.
LOUIS THE DO-NOTHING.
Like his wife Louis the Do-nothing was barely twenty years of age.Justly nicknamed the "Do-nothing," he looked as nonchalant as he seemedbored. After having scolded through the window at the serfs, whose noiseannoyed him, he stretched himself out again upon his lounge. Several ofhis familiar attendants stood around him. Yawning fit to dislocate hisjaws, he said to them: "What a notion that was of the Queen's to go atsunrise with only one lady of the chamber to pray at the hermitage ofSt. Eusebius! Once awakened, I could not fall asleep again. So I rose!Oh, this day will be endless!"
"Seigneur King, would you like to hunt?" suggested one of theattendants. "The day is fine. We would certainly kill some game."
"The hunt fatigues me. It is a rude sport."
"Seigneur King, would you prefer fishing?"
"Fishing tires me; it is a stupid pastime."
"Seigneur King, if you call your flute and lute-players, you might enjoya dance."
"Music racks my head, and I cannot bear dancing. Let's try somethingelse."
"Seigneur King, shall your chaplain read to you out of some fine work?"
"I hate reading. I think I could amuse myself with the idiot. Where ishe?"
"Seigneur King, one of your attendants has gone out to find him.... Ihear steps.... It is surely he coming."
The door opened and a servitor bent the knee and let in Yvon. From themoment of his entrance Yvon started to walk on all fours, barking like adog; after a little while he grew livelier, jumped and cavorted aboutclapping his hands and shouting with such grotesque contortions that theKing and the attendants began to laugh merrily. Encouraged by thesesigns of approbation and ever cavorting about, Yvon mimicked alternatelythe crowing of a rooster, the mewing of a cat, the grunting of a hog andthe braying of an ass, interspersing his sounds with clownish gesturesand ridiculous leaps, that redoubled the hilarity of the King and hiscourtiers. The merriment was at its height when the door was againthrown open, and one of the chamberlains announced in a loud voice fromthe threshold where he remained: "Seigneur King, the Queen approaches!"At these words the attendants of Louis, some of whom had dropped uponstools convulsing with laughter, rose hastily and crowded to the door tosalute the Queen at her entrance. Louis, however, who lay stretched onhis lounge, continued laughing and cried out to the idiot: "Keep ondancing, Calf! Dance on! You are worth your weight in gold! I neveramused myself better!"
"Seigneur King, here is the Queen!" said one of the courtiers, seeingBlanche cross the contiguous chamber and approach the door. The wing ofthis door, when thrown open almost reached the corner of a large tablethat was covered with a splendid Oriental piece of tapestry, the foldsof which reached to the floor. Yvon the Calf continued his gambols,slowly approaching the table, and concealed from the eyes of the King bythe head-piece of the lounge on which the latter remained stretched.Ranged at the entrance of the door in order to salute the Queen, theprince's attendants had their backs turned to the table under which Yvonquickly blotted himself out at the moment when the seigneurs were bowinglow before Blanche. The Queen answered their salute, and preceding themby a few steps moved towards Louis, who had not yet ceased laughing andcrying out: "Ho, Calf, where are you? Come over this way that I may seeyour capers.... Have you suddenly turned mute, you who can bark, mew andcrow so well?"
"My beloved Louis is quite merry this morning," observed Blanchecaressingly and approaching her husband's lounge. "Whence proceeds themirth of my dear husband?"
"That idiot could make a dead man laugh with his capers. Ho, there,Calf! Come this way, you scamp, or I'll have your bones broken!"
"Seigneur King," said one of the attendants after glancing around theroom for Yvon, "the Calf must have escaped at the moment when the doorwas opened to admit the Queen. He is not here, nor in the adjoiningroom."
"Fetch him back, he can not be far!" cried the King impatiently and withrising anger. "Bring him back here immediately!"
One of the seigneurs hurried out to execute the King's orders, whileBlanche letting herself down near him, said, smiling tenderly: "I shalltry, my beloved seigneur, to enable you to wait patiently for theidiot's return."
"Fetch him back. All of you run after him; the more of you look afterhim, the quicker will he be found."
Bowing to the King's orders, the courtiers trooped out of the apartmentin search of Yvon.