by Ellie Thomas
“Like me?” Jonathan tried to keep his tone light and humorous but the catch in his voice gave him away.
“Absolutely not,” Nick turned to him, the smile lighting his eyes. “You are definitely not a candidate for a quick suck in the Orangery.”
Jonathan choked back a gasping laugh and all he could say was, “Oh?”
“I never thought you a likely fellow for a bit of sport,” Nick said quietly, running his hand over Jonathan’s furred chest as though he could not resist touching him. “I didn’t even know if you liked me.” He smiled uncertainly and continued, “It was your sad eyes coupled with your gracious manners that caught my notice. How kind you are to everyone while keeping yourself apart. I wanted to break through your reserve. Make you laugh and smile for real.”
“Oh,” Jonathan said again. Feeling this was slightly inadequate, he added,” you have.”
“Good,” Nick said and kissed him again. If the first time in bed had seemed leisurely, this felt endless, the flow of hands on the other’s skin as they lay side by side, bodies pressed against each other with no urgency, just building and building to limitless rippling pleasure.
Afterwards, as Nick dozed in his arms, Jonathan felt complete. With Sebastian, he had been dazzled, swept along in the glorious sunbeam of his approval, but this felt different; warmer, grounded, and real. With that thought, he drifted off to sleep, wholly contented.
Chapter 12
The next morning he awoke alone. He knew Nick was simply being careful of their good names, returning to his own overnight quarters before the household was up and about, but he felt bereft and cheated not to wake in his lover’s arms. As he went through the morning routine, washing, dressing, then making conversation over breakfast, all the while he was calculating how to continue the affair, if that was what Nick wanted.
He realised that not only had his body reawakened to pleasure but his heart had opened too. After all those long years alone, he did not want to lose this opportunity, if possible.
As he was leaving the breakfast table, Freddy caught him and suggested an amble around the garden. Knowing there must be some agenda at hand, Jonathan was not particularly surprised when Freddy announced, “I think we should leave before the New Year.”
With a twinge of uncharacteristic irritation, Jonathan thought it was typical of his cousin to assume he had no plans of his own and simply existed to fall in with Freddy’s whims.
However, out loud he merely agreed, “Very well. When are we departing?”
It became rapidly clear that this was what Freddy was unsure of and needed to discuss in detail while traversing the shrubbery. The local countrymen amongst the party were warning of a blast of cold weather within the next few days, which might even promise some snow. This was the cause of Freddy’s dilemma.
He did not want to be caught in a house for an unspecified time to be reminded of his romantic disappointment which might even outweigh his enjoyment. Although Miss Corinna had responded favourably to the politely wide berth he’d given her for the past few evenings and was again casting pretty glances at him from under her eyelashes, Freddy had learned his lesson and did not respond. Nothing like hurt pride to seal the deal, Jonathan surmised privately.
At the same time, Freddy did not want to miss any remaining entertainment and varied company compared with that of his mother and siblings at home, where he could not shine as brightly.
Jonathan patiently listened to all the possible permutations that were only about Freddy’s comfort and pursuit of pleasure. Amiably and without that self-interested young man noticing, he steered him to decide that if they left after luncheon the next day, then they could stay overnight at a coaching inn and be at their destination the following late morning.
This would give Jonathan time to write to his aunt to warn her of their arrival. It would not occur to Freddy that two extra family members in the household would cause practical necessities to be organised. He only thought, quite rightly in fact, that his mama would be delighted to have him home.
Jonathan also wanted to make sure that the Grants, having been such generous hosts, were given fair warning of their departure and sufficient thanks for all their kindness. Thirdly, and most importantly, he must tell Nick and think of a way to see him again.
Having found paper and pen, he left a hastily scribbled a letter, placing it on the hall table to be sent to his aunt, then he sought out Mr. Grant as he was leaving the breakfast room. He explained his and Freddy’s impending departure, citing the incoming weather as the reason, especially as his aunt would like the whole family to be together for the New Year’s celebration.
Mr. Grant nodded his head in understanding and said all that was gracious. However, it was clear he lumped in Freddy with that large, shifting, and slightly anonymous group of young people invited to keep his grown-up children entertained, which amused Jonathan. But at the same time, he seemed genuinely sorry to see Freddy’s cousin go. Jonathan was touched, especially by the heartfelt and genuine invitation that he was welcome to come and stay again at any time.
It was more than rewarding that he had arrived as a spare guest but would leave as a good friend, Jonathan thought, as Mr. Grant left him in the hallway after shaking his hand thoroughly.
Later that day, Jonathan was walking with his host and a few other gentlemen of the party, helping to check that farm stock, stores, and equipment were safely undercover in case of severe cold.
There was no sign of Nick or his brother or his father, and Jonathan guessed out loud that they were involved in similar tasks on their own property which Mr. Grant confirmed.
“Indeed,” he said with a smile, “it’s all hands on deck in this weather, to misuse a seafaring metaphor for our country matters. He’s a good lad,” he said fondly, referring to Nick. “Even though he’s not the eldest son, he works his heart out on that farm. One day he’ll make someone a fine, level-headed capable farm manager for all his pretty ways and gallantry on the dance floor.”
Jonathan merely smiled in response and said all that was polite. But as they continued their inspection, Mr. Grant’s words gave him the germ of an idea.
Chapter 13
He tried not to be restless that evening in the drawing-room while awaiting Nick’s arrival. The local families (at least those who weren’t town dwellers) were all a little delayed on their estates. Jonathan tried to keep smiling and talking to whoever was in front of him and not repeatedly look behind him in the direction of the door to see if Nick was coming through it.
Unfortunately, he missed Nick’s entrance since he was summoned to join in the commencement of the dancing when one of Mr. Grant’s daughters took her turn at the pianoforte. As soon as was polite, he made his way to the side of the room where he had spotted Nick carrying a tray of refreshments. His perfectly understandable thirst after the dance was the ideal excuse to approach him.
He snagged a glass, smiling at Nick, who suddenly wouldn’t look at him directly. “I hear you’re leaving tomorrow,” Nick said quietly, and Jonathan could hear the hurt in his voice. Jonathan frowned, cursing himself that he had not been the one to break the news.
“It was Freddy’s decision,” he said, a trifle tersely. The pianist was beginning another dance tune and he was determined not to leave Nick with such a misunderstanding of events. “Do you have a moment?” he asked abruptly.
With that, Nick put down the tray and they made their way through the double doors to the smaller, temporarily empty withdrawing room.
“I’m so sorry about this,” Jonathan said running a hand through his hair, betraying his exasperation. “Freddy is keen to leave, and he only told me this morning after breakfast. I wanted to let you know myself but…”
“That’s all right,” Nick said somewhat stiffly.
“No, it’s not bloody all right,” Jonathan said. “I have absolutely no desire to leave when we have just found each other.”
“Really?” Nick uttered, his expression softening
a little.
“Really, truly and absolutely,” Jonathan affirmed. “With Freddy being rather out of sorts romantically—” he saw Nick smile in spite of himself at the fun and games of Miss Corinna, “—the weather closing in and my aunt wanting us at home, I was caught unawares. I couldn’t tell anyone the truth about the reason why I so much want to stay.”
Nick did not reply but simply walked into Jonathan’s arms.
Jonathan sighed gladly at the contact of his warm body and the physical affirmation that his feelings were shared. “That’s much better,” he said.
While Nick was so close, he added, almost in his ear. “All day I have been puzzling over a way we could see each other again and I have a suggestion for you.”
“You do?” Nick said, turning to look at him with a hopeful gleam in his eye. Jonathan laughed, his mood suddenly light. At Nick’s proximity, he was tempted to kiss his lover, but with the rest of the party only being behind unlocked doors through which anyone could enter at any time, he did not dare.
“I do indeed,” he reiterated, content to cup Nick’s face, who tilted his head and kissed Jonathan’s open palm.
His heart suddenly beat faster.
“I was thinking, “he continued a trifle unsteadily, “that later, in January, once this gathering is over and if you are not needed by your father on the farm, you might visit me?”
The astonished and thankful look on Nick’s face was answer enough. “I think Pa could have no objection to that,’ he said slowly.
Jonathan added, “Mr. Grant mentioned that you might become a farm manager one day and as I have only just restored my property, I might suggest to your father this evening that you might find it useful to look over how things are done in a different holding? If he agrees, that will give us the perfect excuse to write to each other in-between times and arrange a date.”
“Yes. Yes, please,” Nick said, slightly breathlessly and their lips met in the very briefest of kisses before they heard voices approaching the threshold. They broke off, and by the time the small group of laughing partygoers entered the antechamber, they were simply chatting and sipping wine idly, appearing to be only glad for a few people to join them.
Chapter 14
He and Nick took part in the general chatter before a few extra stragglers laughingly joined the fray. This was Jonathan’s chance to quietly return to the main space and catch Nick’s father for a quick word. He was aware that this gentleman intended to take his family home earlier than usual to be up the next morning to deal with further preparations for colder days ahead.
Jonathan gradually worked his way through the throng, unobtrusively approaching his quarry. When he reached his goal, he eased the conversation around to farming techniques and the possibility of Nick’s visit, as if this had only just occurred to him.
“A very good notion,” that gentleman said warmly. “That would be very amenable of you, sir. He’s a good boy and often shows more interest about the place than his older brother.” This was said with a rueful, amused shrug before continuing, “It would be an opportunity for him to learn a few new ways and bring them back for us to use ourselves,” he said jocularly.
Jonathan gave no signal of how delighted he was at such an easy agreement to his plan to have Nick close by him for as long as could be contrived. In fact, he was so distracted by this happy event and so keen to tell Nick as soon as possible, that he almost missed a minor social and romantic disaster.
Freddy was sitting with Miss Belinda in a narrow window alcove, in which only two chairs would fit. Corinna was nearby, which probably explained why Freddy was leaning attentively towards Belinda as though she was the only woman in the room. Belinda’s face was as serene as ever from Jonathan’s angle of sight, but any casual observer might misconstrue her apparent acceptance of Freddy’s near embrace.
To his consternation, he could see Mr. Hammond expressionlessly looking in the same direction and cursed Freddy’s thoughtless interference in that budding romance. Jonathan was just about to intervene when, to his surprise, Mr. Hammond calmly approached Belinda, and with a courteous bow at Freddy, asked her for her hand in the next dance which was about to start. Her face now animated, she accepted with a warm smile and rose eagerly to join him.
Well, well, thought Jonathan, meek Mr. Hammond must be very sure of her feelings to be so bold in the face of Freddy’s most beguiling behaviour. As Freddy was looking a trifle nonplussed at this turn of events, he continued across the room to join him.
“By the looks of things in recent days, those two might make a match,” Jonathan said casually, as he sat beside him, to help soothe Freddy’s ruffled feathers.
“I had no idea!” Freddy exclaimed, genuine surprise in his voice. Jonathan recollected the glances and smiles of assorted guests, particularly amongst the older generation, at Mr. Hammond and Belinda’s growing preference for each other. However, it was not altogether a revelation that Freddy had noticed nothing that didn’t concern him directly.
Jonathan kept quiet as he observed his cousin mulling over this new information, apparently transfixed by the dancers. By the looks of things, he was adjusting to this idea and manfully swallowed the fact that Belinda might prefer the unprepossessing Mr. Hammond compared to his own good looks and palpable charm. “If that’s the case, then I wish them both happy,” he said firmly.
Jonathan looked at his cousin and blinked. “Good for you, Freddy,” he said in genuine praise, wondering if this might mark the start of his cousin growing up a little. This happy thought was consolidated when Miss Corinna was left alone and rather forlorn as the music struck up once more.
To Jonathan’s surprise, Freddy immediately stood and politely asked her to dance. It was clear by his manner that this was not the recommencement of his fervent attentions, but a particularly well-chosen olive branch.
Jonathan then too got sucked into the dancing as there were still ladies to spare. Although the evening seemed to pass in a whirl, and Jonathan appeared as caught up in the jollity as anyone, he was watching out for the first sign of guests leaving. He could not bear to let Nick go without a private moment of temporary farewell.
His watchfulness was rewarded when he saw Nick’s father approach his host as if to say his goodbyes while Nick disappeared into the hall, Jonathan guessed to retrieve their outdoor gear. Before he could be caught in yet another conversation or be requested to dance, Jonathan slipped out to join Nick.
Even if the hall was not secluded, they were at least alone for a few minutes as they retrieved the correct overcoats from the pile of shawls and outerwear on the hall table. When he had their coats slung over one arm, Nick hesitated, drawing out the moment for a little longer.
“I’m sorry we are leaving so early, but Pa wants us up in the morning to help out. I truly wish I could stay tonight,” Nick said his blue eyes dark with regret.
“I wish that too, but I understand completely,” Jonathan replied, and under the cover of the folds of the coat, he took Nick’s hand in his. “We will be together in January, at my home, alone together.”
Nick’s squeezed Jonathan’s hand as his smile returned. “That is something to look forward to,” he said.
“And in the meantime,” Jonathan said, stepping slightly close, “we have the memories of last night to keep us warm.”
The glow in Nick’s eyes was enough to set Jonathan’s senses ablaze. Nick was about to speak again when his father’s voice summoned him. With one last brief touch of Jonathan’s fingers, Nick went to join his elder.
The farewells and the rest of the evening was a slight blur as all Jonathan could think of was Nick’s bright smile, just for him. As he went to bed that night, he was aglow with Christmas spirit.
He felt an altogether different person from the grey shadow of a man who had arrived at the Grants. Not only had he made true friends in his hosts, but also many neighbours, including Mr. Hammond and his lovely Belinda.
But most of all, there was Nick. The p
otential of their feelings for one another made him feel alive in an altogether new way. As sleep took him over, Jonathan looked forward to the new year and the future beyond, with hope and joy.
THE END
ABOUT ELLIE THOMAS
Ellie Thomas lives by the sea, usually in a state of complete chaos. She has an unhealthy obsession with history and loves to both read and write about many historical periods. She comes from a teaching background and as well as writing, she bakes on demand for next door’s children. When she manages to wrestle herself away from her computer and her kitchen, she loves to dance.
Ellie Thomas mainly writes historical romances.
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