Why wasn't it that things couldn't just go back to the way they were years ago? Why couldn't Tobin and Athena return to their childhood innocence? To a time before evil threatened them?
She thought back to everything they'd been through together over the years. They had many crazy adventures, many wonderful memories. They had sad memories too. Athena remembered the day her old cat had died. Tobin was there, comforting and consoling her. He'd even gotten a stray cat from one of the alleyways for her to keep. Of course, Laguna hadn't accepted it, certain that it was plagued with all kinds of diseases. She made Tobin wash up for at least an hour in case any germs were on him. Athena remembered as the two children said goodbye to their temporary pet, both crying, hoping the stray would be okay on its own. That was the last time Tobin cried in front of her, when he was nine years old.
Ten years later, he was crying again. “I know it's what I'm supposed to do,” Tobin said, “but I don't want to do it. Does that make me a traitor? Not wanting to fight for my king?”
“You're not a traitor,” Athena reassured him. “You're human.” She remembered Faramond telling her about the army's purpose. They were going to fight for evil, not against it. She wondered if she should tell Tobin that, as then he wouldn't have to leave. He'd stay here, with her, by her side. Though she wanted desperately to keep him here, she knew it was wrong. If Tobin refused to join the army, or if he deserted, the penalty was death.
But he's marching straight to his death if he joins. Whether Tobin stayed or went, his death seemed unavoidable. Athena couldn't bear it. She couldn't let him die. She was going to save him, no matter what it took. Life without Tobin was a life unthinkable.
“It's not fair,” Tobin whispered.
“It's your duty to the crown,” Athena said, forcing an emotionless tone. “You have to go, Tobin.” No. Stay with me. “You'll come back a hero.” You'll come back in a box. “And I'll be so proud of you.” I'll be heartbroken.
“I'm trying to be strong right now Athena, but every time I look at you, something inside of me just breaks. It's like my heart is being held up by little strings. And every time I see you, one of those strings snaps. I'm afraid they're all going to snap, and then my heart is going to plunge, and I'm going to die. Every time I think about leaving, I become more and more sure that I'm never going to see you again, and that... that... destroys me.”
“You have to be strong, Tobin. You have to.” Athena could hardly say the words, emotion flooding her all over again. The past day had been nothing but a constant nightmare, and it still wasn't over.
Tobin laid down, saying nothing. Perhaps minutes passed, perhaps hours. No one was keeping track of time. The more time that went by, the less time they had together. Neither wanted to think about that.
“Athena?”
Athena looked at her friend. “What happened to your feet?”
She sat up, realizing the cloth had fallen off, revealing her raw feet. She hadn't even noticed. “I ran last night.” It was honesty, without saying everything.
“Without any shoes? You're mad.” Tobin reached over, re-wrapping Athena's feet. He didn't so much as flinch at the sight of them. He was cautious, taking care not to aggravate any of the wounds. He then took his own shoes off and placed them on Athena's feet, not saying a word.
“Thank you,” Athena whispered, genuinely grateful.
Tobin didn't even ask why she had been running in the middle of the night through the forest. He made no comment about her tangled hair with the leaves or her bruised skin. He simply hugged her. “I'm going to miss you,” he said.
“You're not leaving yet,” Athena replied. Holding his hand, she stood up. Her legs wobbled slightly, and he held onto her, supporting her.
“I'll never leave you,” Tobin said, and this time his eyes were filled with love.
They walked back to town, Tobin helping Athena limp along. When Athena grew too weary, Tobin picked her up. He carried her for several feet before she began to protest, insisting that she was perfectly capable of walking herself.
Tobin laughed, and internally Athena noted that it would be the last time she heard his laugh. She savored it, trying to make him laugh more, purposely exaggerating her personality, being as tomboyish and standoffish as she could.
Eventually Tobin caught on. He stopped laughing, gazing at her for a moment as if trying to memorize her face. He was etching it into the sketchbook of his mind. “I'm going to miss you,” he said again, this time more solemnly.
“What am I going to do without you?” Athena asked, though she wasn't expecting an answer. “You're going to save Edgehill,” Tobin replied. “You're going to do amazing things here, without me. You don't need me, Athena. I need you, but you don't need me.”
Athena stared at him. “What do you mean I don't need you?”
“Do I really have to say it?” Tobin laughed. “You're the strongest person I know, Athena. You don't see it, but I do. You're stronger than anybody in Edgehill, and probably this entire kingdom. How many people can handle nightmares every single night without going absolutely mad? How many people can get up before dawn every day and work until night, with hardly any sleep? The fact that you're still sane is a miracle, Athena.”
“I'm not sane,” Athena said. “Look at me, Tobin. I'm a wreck.” “You're a beautiful wreck,” Tobin smiled.
That smile was painful. “A beautiful wreck is still a wreck. I keep trying to pick myself up, but I'm just so tired Tobin. And everything keeps getting worse. I don't want to lose you. I do need you. I need you more than anyone. My heart has strings too, and I don't think there're many left still holding it.”
“We'll both have to find some new strings,” Tobin said as his smile vanished. “We're both going to be okay.”
Neither of them believed it. Athena hugged him again before reluctantly letting go. They were standing in front of the bakery, and she hardly remembered getting there, completely absorbed in Tobin. Right now, he was most important. Everything else seemed minuscule compared to him. If Athena lost him, she lost her world, regardless of King Landgrave, and regardless of the Shadow. She pulled off Tobin's shoes, handing them back to him. His socks were black with dirt.
“Keep them,” Tobin said. “I have another pair at home.” “Are you sure?” Athena asked.
“Once I'm gone, everything I own will be yours.” Athena's eyes widened. She wasn't sure what to say.
Tobin smiled, ruffling her hair. “See you around, Athena.”
“Goodbye,” Athena said. “But this isn't the last goodbye. I'm going to bother you every second until you're gone.”
“And I will be sure to bother you,” Tobin laughed. “See you,” he repeated, and with that, he was gone.
I love you.
As he walked away, Athena felt a string breaking. She couldn't imagine what it would feel like when she said goodbye for the last time. She couldn't bear to think that there would be a last goodbye. Athena watched Tobin until he became a tiny dot in the distance, heading to his farm, going to share the awful news with his family. She felt a sense of impending doom, not being able to push away the thought that once Tobin was gone, he might never come back. These next few days would be hell.
Finally, Athena limped into the house, slouching against the door and taking a deep breath for the first time in a long while. Jermyn scurried over to her, a look of relief on his face. “Athena, where have you been?” he breathed, hugging her tightly. He stared at her disheveled appearance, shaking his head. “What happened?”
Athena ignored his questions. “Do you have any water?” she asked.
It was Laguna who gave her water, holding a cup to her lips. Athena hadn't realized how thirsty she was. The past day had been a whirlwind. It was a never-ending storm.
“Where's Faramond?” Athena asked.
“He went home hours ago. He wants to talk to you, explain more-” “Did he speak the truth?”
“Athena-”
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“Did he speak the truth? Did you both know everything?”
Jermyn and Laguna exchanged a look that told Athena everything she needed to know. She stood up, going to seek out Faramond, ignoring her thirst and hunger. Ignoring the pain that shot through her body. Ignoring her absolute exhaustion. Just wanting answers.
Athena burst into Faramond's house.
The drunk looked up, startled. He sat at his kitchen table holding a flask. Athena knew it was water, but she couldn't completely disregard his reputation. She sat across from him, folding her arms. “Talk.”
Faramond smiled.
Am I strong? I'm trying to be. Am I a hero? I'm trying to be. Am I the Guardian of the Kingdom? I don't know. Am I going to be okay?
Someday.
Rise of the Shadow – Chapter 1
“You look like a mess,” Faramond said, taking a swig of his drink. He stroked his goatee for a moment as if contemplating something.
Athena rolled her eyes. “I told you to talk.”
Faramond laughed heartily. Athena wanted to punch him. She wanted to rip his stupid goatee off his chin and slam him into the ground. This was not the time for laughing. Her life was falling to pieces, and she was going mad. The fact that Faramond was making light of everything she was going through was infuriating.
“Talk, or I’ll leave and never come back.” It was a lie, but Athena said it anyway, trying to get the man to stop laughing and look her in the eyes. She leaned in closer, invading his personal space, staring daggers at him.
“Athena, I'm sorry,” Faramond said, becoming serious. “I know how hard this is. I just thought that maybe you'd appreciate some levity. A break from the bad news.”
“You ruined my life, Faramond,” Athena cried, “It's your fault that I'm like this!”
“Don't blame me, Athena,” Faramond said sternly. “You've been falling apart for a long time now. I simply opened your eyes. You're not in the dark anymore.”
“I'm more in the dark than ever! You marched into my house and flipped my entire life upside down. You destroyed me. Do you know what it's like to find out your entire life has been a lie? To find out you've been raised like a pig for slaughter?”
“Slaughter?” Faramond shook his head. “No, you've been raised to be a hero, Athena. You're going to save this kingdom.”
“How do you know I won't be killed?” Athena was shaking. “You don't know.”
“I haven't let you die up to this point, and I'm never going to. I'm your protector.”
“You haven't protected me, you've hid me. Why wait this long? Why wait all these years to tell me about the most important thing in my life?”
“Could you have handled it when you were younger?” Faramond asked. Athena was silent.
“You were a scared little girl when you first came to live with your grandparents. Eventually, you pushed your fear into your subconscious, but it was still there, manifesting itself in your nightmares. If I’d told you of your destiny a long time ago, I don't think you would have survived it.”
“What happened to me being the strongest person you knew?”
“Even the strongest people are still mortal.” Faramond sighed. “Athena, whether you want to be the chosen one or not, fate has already decided it. If you reject your destiny, Galbar falls.”
A stinging pain pulsed through Athena's body. She flinched as if Faramond had hit her. “How can I possibly save the kingdom? I'm just one person. Just a scared, little girl.”
“You're a brave, strong woman,” Faramond tried to assure her. “The Guardian of the Kingdom. A true hero.”
“My best friend was summoned,” Athena whispered, ignoring Faramond's words. “He has less than four days left.”
Faramond gave her a sympathetic look. “You'll save him.”
“What if I can't? I'm afraid that I'll do everything I can, and it won't be enough, that he'll be killed right along with all of the other men. Even thinking of that possibility kills me inside, Faramond.”
“You'll save him,” Faramond said again.
Athena brushed it off, but she could see Faramond was being serious. He was genuine in everything he said. Looking at him, she still saw the town drunk, but there was something else as well. In his eyes, she could see knowledge, wisdom, kindness even. He cared for her, perhaps just as much as Jermyn and Tobin. He cared, despite never having interacted with her until a day ago. Faramond had spent his life watching over her, throwing away who he was in order to protect her. It all still seemed so impossible, but Athena was beginning to feel grateful. She was beginning to believe.
Pain pulled at her again, making her grimace. She stood up from Faramond's table, attempting to limp away. Exhaustion was finally catching up with her, and she felt lightheaded, on the verge of fainting.
Faramond put a steadying hand on Athena's shoulder. “Sleep,” he whispered.
When Athena woke up, it was dark outside. She'd slept the entire day away, without waking up once. No nightmares for the first time ever. Her first thought was relief, but that quickly vanished when she thought of everything that had taken place. She'd wasted a day. Tobin had three days left.
Athena stretched her arms and looked around. Somehow, she had ended up in her own bed, though she had no recollection of arriving there. She was still in her tattered clothing, although someone had cleaned and bandaged her wounds. Sharp pain had turned into a dull throb, and Athena's body was sore as if she'd spent a day hiking. Despite everything, she felt awake. Alert. Refreshed.
Someone knocked on her door softly. She tried to stand up to open it but found her legs practically paralyzed, too comfortable in the bed. “Come in,” she called, though her voice was strained.
Unexpectedly, Laguna was the one who walked in, holding a tray of food. She set it down on the bed and then reached under the nightstand, grabbing a roll of fresh cloth bandages.
“I have your permission to eat in my bedroom?” Athena asked, surprised.
“You do, for today,” Laguna replied.
“Thank you, Grandmother,” Athena said sincerely.
Laguna just nodded. Suddenly, she yanked one of Athena's legs out from under the covers, causing Athena to yelp in pain. “I need to change your bandages,” Laguna said flatly. She began to unwrap the cloth on Athena's foot, thankfully taking care not to upset the wounds. It was as gentle as Laguna had ever been.
When Athena saw her unwrapped foot, she almost choked on her bread. It was completely red. One big open wound. And she had somehow managed to walk.
“You're a fool,” Laguna tutted, dabbing at the sore with hot water. “Only a fool would go around barefoot.”
“I'm sorry,” Athena said.
Laguna stared at her, and for the first time Athena could remember, there were tears in the woman's eyes.
“Such a fool,” Laguna repeated, and then she hugged her granddaughter, letting her tears
fall. Athena hugged her back, forgetting all of the trouble between them, only thinking of this moment, this tiny victory in the past few days of misery. “I love you, Grandmother,” she whispered, and she meant it. She'd always loved her strict, cold grandmother, and now she was finally admitting it. It only took a near-death experience for her to finally say it.
“I love you too, Athena.” Laguna drew away, smiling for a second. Athena would never forget that smile. She'd never forget that moment.
Laguna cleared her throat and continued caring for Athena's wounds, working in silence. Athena knew she'd probably never hear her grandmother say those words again, so she cherished this, smiling, pushing all of her problems to the side. Hadn't she done enough worrying?
“My two favorite people,” Jermyn said, standing in the doorway. “Is this bonding I see?” He laughed.
Laguna rolled her eyes. “I'm tending to this fool's injuries. You sure raised a stupid girl, Jermyn.”
“We raised a wonderful girl,” Jermyn said. “Wonderfully stupi
d,” Laguna mumbled. Both Athena and Jermyn laughed together. Athena realized that she actually felt good.
She felt happy. Life seemed to be back to normal. Of course, it wouldn't last, but Athena wanted to soak it in. She wanted to bask in this for as long as possible before things erupted again. Before she had to face the evil growing around her.
She spent the next few hours with her grandparents, helping them bake, acting like everything was okay. She didn't talk about Faramond or anything he'd said. Her grandparents already knew. They avoided the topic as well, purposely talking only of light, meaningless things. Athena welcomed the chatter, grateful for a distraction. But every time she looked out the window, she expected to see Tobin. Her time with him was growing short. She wanted to run to him right now, but she knew he was with his own family, spending what little time he had left with them.
Her grandparents were almost abnormally high-spirited. Jermyn was bouncier than usual, more energetic than he'd been in months. Laguna was refraining from saying anything particularly cruel. They were trying their best to make Athena happy, and it was obvious. They laughed and sang, even danced around the kitchen, but the distraction eventually began to wear off.
Athena excused herself, going to sit in her room for a few minutes. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, hardly recognizing herself. Though her hair was combed, falling into soft waves, and her face was clear, scraped of all dirt, she could see the change in her eyes. Her green eyes were usually bright, like summer leaves, but the color was drained, like a dying tree. There was sadness in them, mixed with fear.
If you reject your destiny, Galbar falls. Faramond's words began to echo. The fleeting happiness Athena had felt was already melting away. If she was truly the Guardian of the Kingdom, it was up to her to save Galbar. If she didn't, no one would. If she didn't, the kingdom fell. Everybody she loved would be lost. The Shadow would destroy them all.
I have to do something. Athena thought of all of the men walking to their deaths, and of Edgehill crumbling around her. She could see the crying faces of wives and daughters, their grief so clearly displayed. She could see Tobin, leaving and never coming back, gone forever. If she was the Guardian of the Kingdom, she had to fight. She had to stop the evil before it consumed the kingdom she loved so dearly.
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