It hadn’t occurred to Kelsey to mind that Fran never kissed her like that any more.
Chapter Two
‘Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May’
(Sonnet 18)
Kelsey’s mind was as restless as the waves beyond the sea wall that faced onto her mum’s little grey stone house.
She’d arrived home to find the party preparations in full swing in the cosy kitchen, and her mum, Mari, busy skewering cheese and pineapple chunks onto cocktail sticks.
‘It’s all right, love, I just know you’ll find something even better than the camera shop,’ she’d soothed after her daughter broke the news.
Kelsey stared out the kitchen window, not willing to risk seeing the weary concern her mum was, doubtless, struggling to hide. She wondered gloomily how much longer her family could keep up the pretence that she was just a ‘late bloomer’, as Grandad once called her, and that it was only a matter of time before she was adulting the crap out of life like everyone else her age.
Shaking herself from her wistfulness, Kelsey cleared her throat and lifted the lid off the cake box on the kitchen table. ‘Are we ready for Calum’s party then? Who else is coming?’
‘Let’s see,’ Mari replied as she plated up some mini Scotch eggs. ‘It’ll be us, Ted and Alex, and two or three of Calum’s pals.’
Ted was Mari’s best friend from way back. They had worked together at Ted’s salon before Mari’s husband died. After that, she couldn’t face going back to work for a long time. Now she was the busiest mobile hairdresser in the area though Ted still wished she’d return to the salon to work with him.
Mari, dressed in a black tux and heels, had walked Ted down the aisle towards his husband Alex: very Sex and the City. Except it wasn’t a glitzy Manhattan gathering of the rich and famous, more of a cold finger-buffet at the village Miners’ Club. Ted had been family since before Kelsey was born, and by now Alex was family too.
Kelsey washed her hands in the cracked Belfast sink as Mari eyed her. ‘Is Mirren coming tonight? Bringing Preston?’
‘No, they’re on a date night.’
‘Very nice. They seem to have patched things up a bit, no?’
‘Yeah, I think so. She seems happy enough.’
‘You and Francis could do with a date night, couldn’t you? When did you two last go out? He never seems to want to stay over here, either. Like I say, I’ll happily get out of your way if you want to get romantic in front of the telly.’ Mari tipped her head to the side with a wicked smile.
Keeping her back turned to her mum, Kelsey’s cheeks reddened as she unboxed Calum’s TARDIS-shaped birthday cake. ‘Mu-um!’ She always got flustered when Mari was playing the super-cool, laid-back-about-her-daughter’s-sex-life mum.
Kelsey lowered the blue masterpiece in icing onto the chintzy china stand that used to be her granny’s. Time machines at the vintage tearoom, she thought. The effect was a little off, but it would do.
Kelsey attempted a breezy reply. ‘Fran’s just really busy at the moment. And we’d rather save up than go out.’
‘We?’ Mari’s eyebrow arched. She knew her daughter better than anyone, but Kelsey wished she knew when to stop.
Kelsey answered with a piqued, ‘Yes, we.’
From the look of frustrated concern on her face, Mari’s feelings on the subject were clear, but she chose to bite her lip. Today wasn’t the day for going over old ground.
There were seventy new apartments being built on the other side of the village and Fran had already put their names down for first pick ‘off plan’. Kelsey didn’t want to confirm her mum’s fears that she hadn’t felt quite as enthusiastic as Fran when looking at the shiny brochure of the flats, all identical boxes with tiny windows and no gardens to speak of.
A hot, prickling claustrophobia started to rise at the thought of it all, so Kelsey changed the subject as she searched the cupboard for birthday candles.
‘Has Ted got any vacancies at the salon?’ She tried to picture herself standing behind the sinks attempting a scalp massage.
Mari was already shaking her head. ‘He’s got two new trainees starting this summer. I’ll ask him though. You can come with me when I do my weddings. You could wash while I dry.’
‘That’s a nice idea in theory but do you honestly need the help? How many summer weddings have you got booked in?’
‘Three so far.’ Mari shrugged, and the pair nodded resignedly.
Kelsey stuck the fourteen candles on top of the TARDIS and stood back to admire her work with a wry smile. Now it really did look peculiar. ‘My work here is done! I’d better get upstairs and ready for the party.’
* * *
Kelsey hadn’t succeeded in shaking off her longing for a holiday during her wearisome bus ride home earlier and all through the party preparations. As she headed upstairs to her bedroom, the thoughts crowded in again. After ruling out the Lake District or the Highlands – places close enough to home that Fran might actually agree to a weekend away – it had dawned on her that there was only one place she truly longed to see.
‘Stratford-upon-Avon,’ she murmured under her breath as she dragged the box from beneath the bed and delved through its contents, a slow smile materialising alongside her memories of the place she’d last seen when she was as old as her little brother was now.
Pretty sure I’ve got time to have a quick look through here. Bingo! There you are. Flicking through the pages of her teenage diary, she stopped at the exact entry she’d been looking for. August 2005.
Glancing at the door to make sure it was closed, she started reading just loud enough to invest her words with all the drama and enthusiasm that fourteen-year-old Kelsey deserved.
‘Best holiday EVER! If I died tonight, it wouldn’t matter one bit because I’ve been the happiest I’ll ever be. I’m going to write it all down now in case I forget it when I’m old. Here goes…
Does it get any better than Romeo and Juliet on the Big Stage at the Royal Shakespeare Theatre? It was Sold Out! We were lucky to get seats, Mum said, and they cost a fortune! The buzz going round the theatre was like electricity. And it was all so posh and so English! The guy playing Romeo was Completely Gorgeous!! And it was so sad. Mum cried. She didn’t notice I was crying too. They’re called the “star-crossed lovers”, Romeo and Juliet. I love that! They’d only just found each other and they ended up on the run because their love is Totally Forbidden. Juliet’s my age too and that made it even sadder. He drinks poison and she stabs herself!!! For a second I thought maybe they weren’t dead after all, and that they were going to wake up and just keep on running together, but they didn’t. That’s when I cried.’
Kelsey smiled at the two red love hearts she’d drawn next to this with an ‘R’ and a ‘J’ inside. She read on.
‘And we did loads of other stuff too! There was a boat trip on the river. And there was this massive bookshop with wonky floors and all the shelves were squinty and covered in dust and Grandad bought me a book of Shakespeare’s Sonnets and Dad bought me Romeo and Juliet! Like I said BEST. HOLIDAY. EVER. I really missed Mirren though. She’d have loved it and would definitely fancy Romeo.’
Still smiling, Kelsey looked up at the sound of her mum’s gentle knock. Mari popped her head round the door.
‘How are you feeling now, love? I made us a cuppa while your brother gets ready for the party. I have a feeling it might take some time!’
‘Usually does,’ she laughed. ‘I’m all right, ta. Just looking through the box. Come and see.’ Kelsey handed her a bundle of photos and the pair sat side by side on the bed. They’d done this many times.
‘Your dad was so handsome… and the double of Calum,’ Mari said after a few moments. ‘But that ginger moustache was such a mistake. And he had that checked shirt in every colour, you know? I loved him in them.’
Sipping tea and sharing memories, they stayed like this for a while. Photographs are never enough, but they are something, and they loved poring over them
. Reaching into the box again, Kelsey fished out her dog-eared copy of Romeo and Juliet.
‘It seems ages ago, Stratford. Dad bought me this, remember?’
Nodding wistfully, Mari’s glance quickly returned to the pictures on her lap. ‘I remember.’
Kelsey wondered how many times she had read the play since then. It was the very reason she’d gone to uni, to find out how four-hundred-year-old poetry could make her feel the way it did, like hearing voices calling her back home.
Rummaging in the box again she pulled out a theatre programme. ‘Ah! Do you remember this? The Royal Shakespeare Company. It was lovely, wasn’t it?’
She held the programme closer to her face, studying the image on its cover. There were white rosebuds and ivy twisted in soft tendrils like a crown around Juliet’s short cropped hair. Her head rested on Romeo’s bare chest, his white ruffled shirt torn open to his waist. Their eyes were closed, recreating the final scene as they die alone in the dark tomb. Kelsey remembered how she’d shuddered that night in the theatre at the eerie horror of the play’s final moments and the aching romance of it all. Shakespeare knew a thing or two about passion.
‘Did you know it was your dad’s idea to take us to Stratford?’
‘It was?’
‘He saw you getting into your Shakespeare and he always tried to encourage your interests, so he surprised us all by arranging the trip himself. He used to say you were cut out for the theatre, you know?’
‘Are you saying I was a teenage drama queen?’
‘Was a drama queen?’ Mari laughed, circling a palm on her daughter’s back. ‘He just wanted you to find your path and be happy.’
‘And settle down like you two did?’
Kelsey suppressed a sigh. If that’s what her dad wanted, she had sure disappointed him. Mari and Lewis had been teenage sweethearts, married fresh out of high school. They’d done everything young. Mari had been a young bride, a young mum, and a young widow. It never failed to strike Kelsey as appallingly sad and just plain wrong that her mum had been so badly treated by the universe. Just like Romeo and Juliet, they’d been ill fated.
‘No.’ Mari smiled, leaning into her daughter with a gentle nudge. ‘I think he thought it was more important that you found a life of your own first, doing something you love.’
Bleak and tired, Kelsey looked down at the theatre programme in her hands. Her dad had dreamed of a life in the spotlight for his little girl, but here she was at twenty-eight, utterly in the dark. She hadn’t cried in front of her mum for years and she wasn’t going to start now. Later, she told herself. After the party.
‘Hello puny humans,’ came a voice from behind the door, startling them, as Calum appeared in a gold superhero costume, his face masked.
As was often the case, neither Kelsey nor her mum had the faintest idea who he was supposed to be.
‘Wow, Calum, very nice. Is this a new one?’ said Kelsey, glad of the change in atmosphere her brother always brought with him.
‘Yep, thanks to Grandad. Got it with my birthday money. Like it, Mum? Ooh, doorbell!’
And he was gone. There followed a flurry of excited shouts at the front door and the gold superhero, an alien, and a steampunk cowgirl shuffled off to Calum’s room laden with presents and multipacks of popcorn.
‘When did his voice get so deep?’ laughed Kelsey, mimicking her baby brother’s new hyper-manly tones.
Mari screwed up her face in comic pity. ‘Aww, anything’s better than the squeaks! Poor wee lamb. Right, I’d better get the sausage rolls on.’ She kissed Kelsey gently on the head as she rose to go.
‘OK, I’ll be down in a minute.’
Alone again, Kelsey flicked through the pages of the programme still cradled in her hands, stopping at the beautiful double-page picture of the theatre taken from a distance at night. It captured all the moonlight and magic she remembered. Turning to the back pages she read through the adverts for smart Stratford restaurants and hotels. She smiled suddenly as she recognised the little bed and breakfast she’d stayed in on their family holiday so long ago, wondering how on earth she would convince Fran to fritter away some of their hard-saved flat deposit on a romantic break. Tonight at the party, she told herself, she’d begin planting the seeds, letting him mull it over for a while. He hated snap decisions. She ran her fingertips over the advertisements once more. ‘Let’s hope it works; we could both do with a nice holiday to look forward to,’ she told herself as she glumly made her way downstairs to start the party.
* * *
By eight o’clock, Grandad was at his usual spot at the head of the table, the corks had been popped, and Mari and Ted were whispering conspiratorially by the sink, occasionally breaking out into wicked laughter. They’d always been like that. Nobody made Mari laugh like Ted, not even Kelsey’s dad.
‘So where’s your man tonight, Kelsey?’ asked Alex, tucking into a bowl of marshmallows with no indication that he planned to share them around, his cheeks blushing pink from the cava.
‘I dunno, he’s probably still at his meeting.’
‘He’ll be here any minute I’ll bet, sweetpea.’ Alex dropped his eyes to the floor knowing he didn’t sound very convincing. They’d all seen Kelsey let down before.
‘I hope he gets here soon; he’s got Calum’s present,’ she replied, glancing out the steamy kitchen window, thinking about how she had scoured the internet looking for a proper professional special effects make-up set. Calum was going to be thrilled, if he ever got to open it. She swallowed down the disappointment. ‘He’ll have got stuck into lesson planning or something. He’s really trying to advance his career, Alex. He wants to be the youngest head teacher in Scotland.’
‘And I’m sure he’ll do it too.’ Alex smiled politely, but Kelsey could feel the sympathy and frustration behind it, prompting her to spring instinctively to Fran’s defence. The last thing she wanted was for everyone to feel even sorrier for poor unemployed Kelsey.
‘He’s doing it all for me and our future. It’s so important to get on the property ladder, isn’t it? And all his hard work takes the strain off me a bit, you know, saving up for the deposit on the flat and everything.’ The words tasted sickly and artificial in her mouth.
‘Course it does, love. But he’s a lucky man too, having you by his side.’
Is he? Kelsey wondered. Lumbered with a girlfriend who can’t pay her way, on a waiting list for a flat, perennially saving up, and never moving? She doubted Fran felt lucky.
Suddenly sheepish, Kelsey reached for her dad’s beloved Canon AE-1, long since her most treasured possession. Once again safely behind the lens, she snapped some shots.
Her grandad had been joined by Calum and his mates, all animatedly explaining their costumes and characters to him. One boy with an exceptionally well painted navy blue monobrow was holding forth.
‘Actually, Nara doesn’t wear this particular cape until the third part of the Dark Sky Saga, and technically he couldn’t have the Maunday Stone in his possession, but…’
Wow, good on you, Gramps. Kelsey framed him in her viewfinder. He actually looks interested. Calum was the apple of his grandfather’s eye and the reason he was so young at heart, even if his legs and his memory were beginning to fail him.
He smiled straight down the lens, wrinkling his nose at Kelsey, his eyes twinkling in the flash light. Seeing the undisguised love in his expression as he looked at her, Kelsey smiled. OK, maybe Grandad has two apples of his eye.
Calum was busily snapping pictures of his sister with his phone, enjoying another opportunity to tease her. ‘You don’t need to bother with that old thing,’ he laughed. ‘This is much quicker. I’ve Snapchatted them already, see?’
Kelsey smiled, keeping her thoughts to herself. There’s no quick arm’s-length selfie (or fifty) with an old treasure like this. Photographs the old-fashioned way take a bit of skill and a lot of patience. And I don’t really mind waiting for the gorgeous glossy prints to arrive in the mail from the develop
ers, not now I’ve mastered the art of patience living at home waiting for my life to begin.
Kelsey lowered the camera with a guilty glance at the clock before taking her phone from her skirt pocket. Not a peep from Fran. And he knows how I worry about all the million awful, frightening things that can happen to drivers out on the roads at night. She shoved the anxious thoughts away. She knew from experience he’d simply forgotten about the party. This wasn’t going to be another tragic repeat of her dad’s last day. No, Fran was just off doing his own thing. Kelsey let out a long breath, her shoulders dropping.
‘Fran’s just texted, he got stuck in traffic and turned back, sorry.’ She fumbled with the box of matches and rearranged the cake stand in front of her brother, aware that everyone was watching her and falling silent. ‘Shall we light the candles now, Calum?’
It was easier to tell a little white lie than face her family’s sympathy and their barely concealed annoyance with Fran.
Sensing her discomfort, Ted pulled the kitchen blind closed, shutting out the May evening light, as the match flamed and smoked and the household launched into a cheery rendition of ‘Happy Birthday to You’ to Calum’s awkward teenage amusement.
Chapter Three
‘Like to the time o’ th’ year between the extremes of hot and cold […] nor sad nor merry’
(Antony and Cleopatra)
It had been warm enough last night to open wide the bedroom window but now the early morning rain was pattering against the gently flapping blind and chilling the bedroom.
Stretching her body beneath the rose-print duvet, Kelsey allowed herself to drift off again, thanks to the slowly dawning realisation that she needn’t have bothered setting an alarm last night. She had nowhere to go. No six-thirty wake-up, no crowded hour-long bus journey alongside the steely waters of the Forth into Edinburgh, and no hurried coffee shop breakfast on her way to the camera emporium. There was plenty of time to look for jobs later; for the first time in a long time she was going to sleep the morning away. Kelsey’s dozy thoughts were cut off abruptly by a loud buzz from her phone. She peered, bleary-eyed, at Fran’s message.
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