“In the dress,” Caden said, dragging his finger over his brow. “I know. It was her wedding dress. Or it was supposed to be. Aric took her on our wedding day.”
Empathy crowded out the anger and confusion, taking center stage in my chest. “I’m sorry. What he did… He was truly evil.”
Caden nodded. “It was a long time ago, Brighton.”
“That doesn’t make it easier to deal with.”
“No, you’re right. I knew what he did to her. He made sure I did. And the rage…it made me vulnerable to the Queen.”
I shifted carefully, letting my feet touch the floor. Like this, we were only inches apart. “I understand why you wanted to be the one to kill him.”
“It wasn’t just because of what he did to Siobhan. Don’t get me wrong. That was part of it, but it was also what he did to you and your mother. It’s what he’s done to countless others. His death was a long time coming.”
That was true.
I drew in a shallow breath. “He said I was your mortuus. That through me, he could’ve forced you to open the doorway and free the Queen. What does that mean?”
His gaze lifted to mine. He was quiet for so long that I didn’t think he’d respond. “You are my mortuus.”
The breath I took seemed to go nowhere.
“It means you are…you are my strength. My sun. You are my heart.”
My entire body jolted.
“You are also my greatest weakness,” he continued. “It is not an object or anything tangible. It is the source of my power and my weakness. Through you, complete and utter control of me is possible. That is what mortuus means. There was only one before you. That was Siobhan.”
I drew back, shaking my head. “I don’t understand. How is that possible? You…” I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat.
“I love you.”
Those three words were like a bomb.
And Caden wasn’t done. “I love you, and that is why you’re my mortuus. My everything.”
“You love me?” Happiness I didn’t know I could even experience rushed through me in a wave that left my skin tingling. Then it was squeezed too tightly by the grips of reality, turning my entire being numb. “How can you love me? You’re engaged—”
“Not anymore. I broke the engagement before I even knew you disappeared.”
“What?” Thunderstruck, I stared at him.
“When we were together, that wasn’t planned. You know that. I wouldn’t have set out to sleep with you while still marrying Tatiana, but I…I wanted you. I’ve wanted you from the first time I saw you. Before I even knew you. And I don’t know why. Our elders say—” He cut himself off. “That doesn’t matter. My duty is to take a Queen of my kind, but that isn’t right. It’s not what I want, and it would not be fair to Tatiana. To marry her when I love and want another.”
My heart was pounding so fast, I feared it would come out of my chest.
“I thought I could go through with it. That I could keep you away. I tried. The moment I became King, I tried, and I failed. Obviously.” His eyes closed. “I knew what you were to me. Not when I saved you after Aric’s attack that night years ago, but not too long after that. I watched you, watched you heal and then hunt. From afar, I saw you grow braver and stronger, and I admired you. I respected you. I…knew after I found you in that club, pretending to be someone else.”
Oh.
Oh, wow.
“But I also knew that if Aric or Neal or any of my enemies realized that you were my mortuus, you’d be at constant risk.” His gaze held mine. “I thought it was best to marry Tatiana and keep you safe.”
His words came back to me. You’re a distraction. A weakness that I will not allow to be exploited.
I’d thought he meant that I was nothing more than a distraction that could be exploited, not what he was saying.
“That’s all I was trying to do, but I couldn’t… I couldn’t go through with it, being with someone else and knowing that you’d eventually find another. I’m too selfish for that. I couldn’t do it. I broke the engagement and then went to you. You weren’t home, and you didn’t come home. That’s when Ivy reached out to say that no one had heard from you.”
“You…you told me that you needed a Queen of your kind and that what we did was a mistake. You said it was nothing. All of that was a lie?”
“It was,” he said quietly.
“Do you have any idea how much that hurt me? How much that sliced into me because I—” I cut myself off. “If it wouldn’t hurt me so much, I’d totally punch you in the throat right now.”
“I’d deserve it. I hurt you. I thought it was the lesser of two evils. I was wrong.”
“You were so wrong.” My hands curled into fists. “Because Aric figured out anyway. There was…” Something tugged at the fringes of my memory. “I don’t know… I don’t know what to say.”
“There’s nothing you need to say.” Caden leaned forward, his eyes snagging mine. “Not right now.”
But there was. Because, damn it, I was tired of lies. “I love you. I’m in love with you.”
A half-grin appeared. “I know.”
I blinked. “Excuse me?”
“I can sense it.” His grin turned to a smile that took a little of my breath away. “I could feel it.”
I snapped my mouth shut, blowing air through my nose. “But you hurt me, Caden. You hurt me twice now, and I’m just supposed to be okay with that? Take that risk again?”
Sadness crept into his gaze, and his smile faded. “I know. I don’t expect you to be okay with it. Not right now. But I plan to prove to you that there will be no risk. I will not take from you like I have. Never again will I hurt you.”
God, I wanted to believe that—so badly that it almost hurt. But I… “I don’t know what to think right now. About anything. I don’t even know what is going to happen to me.” Tears pricked my eyes. “If you had told me this before…before what happened with Aric, things might be different. I wouldn’t just be learning this.”
“I know,” he repeated. “All of this was what I needed to talk to you about, but I knew it wasn’t right. Not after everything. Some time needed to pass. You needed to heal. I had no idea that Aric told you any of this.”
I believed him, and maybe…maybe if this conversation had come later, it would have been easier to process. Right now, it was like being handed what you wanted most after suffering a great tragedy. And that was what had happened in a way.
“I need you to know something.” Caden reached out, taking my hands. When I didn’t flinch away, he threaded his fingers with mine. “I am here. I know you need time, and if it takes a hundred years, so be it. I’ll wait. What I feel for you is not going to change. Not today. Not next year. Not fifty years from now. You tell me when you’re ready, and I’ll be there.”
My throat closed off, and now I really wanted to cry, because…God. That was exactly what I needed to hear. What I needed to know. That he’d be there when I was ready. That I could have time to piece myself back together, to find myself again, and then I could find him.
“I need to check in with Tanner and see about getting some food sent up to you,” Caden said after a couple of moments. “Then, if you’re feeling up to moving around, maybe we can go outside. Get some fresh air. What do you think?”
The breath I took was shaky, but it felt good. It felt clean. “That sounds good.”
“Perfect.” A smile appeared, and then what happened next surprised me.
Caden rose and then lowered his head, kissing my forehead. I hadn’t expected that. I also was surprised that I didn’t recoil or flip out.
“See you in a little bit.”
I might’ve nodded. I didn’t know. But he left, and I just sat there. I didn’t know for how long. I just absorbed everything he had told me.
Caden loved me.
The King of the Summer fae loved me.
In a daze, I rose from the bed and showered, wrapping the fluffy robe aro
und me. And when I returned to the bedroom, sore and more tired than I wanted to be, I was still caught in the grasp of confusion, but an intense rush of emotions brimmed just under the surface.
The King loved me.
I stopped in the center of the room, behind the cream-colored couch.
Caden had ended the engagement before he even knew that I was missing.
None of that changed how badly he’d messed up, but I…I loved him, and that hadn’t changed. And the most wondrous thing happened. Just like when I realized how awe-inspiring it was to still feel attraction, a sense of hope rose for the first time since…since Aric had taken me. I knew that I could move on from what had happened, even if moving on took a long time. Because I could still feel love, and Caden—
A memory surfaced, one of Aric and I when I was bathing and glamoured but aware of what he was saying.
A certain member of the Summer Court who, like me, wishes to see the return of the Queen.
Oh, my God.
There was someone within the Summer Court working with Aric. Someone who claimed that they could bring Aric the mortuus.
I needed to find Caden. I started toward the door just as a knock sounded. Expecting it to be Ivy or Caden, I called out, “Come in.”
The door opened, and my lips parted. It wasn’t Ivy or Caden.
Tatiana stood in the doorway.
Chapter 19
Although I’d only seen Tatiana briefly, she was as beautiful as I remembered.
Raven-haired and statuesque, her skin tone was a deep silvery hue, and her ears were delicately pointed. Tatiana didn’t attempt to glamour herself as she stood before me, hands clasped in front of her. She wore an off-the-shoulder dress the color of buttercream that hugged her breasts and waist before flaring out at the hips.
Tatiana looked like an ethereal princess straight out of a Disney movie, while I looked like I’d gone a few rounds with a meat grinder and was currently starring in a horror flick.
Not exactly how I wanted to look when I came face to face with Caden’s fiancée—ex-fiancée.
I stared at the would-be Queen, wishing that there had been clothes for me to wear. Maybe a head-to-toe bodysuit. Anything would be better than the lumpy, shapeless robe I currently wore.
“I hope I am not intruding,” she said, her voice carrying a soft lilt that reminded me of someone who was from Great Britain. “But I was hoping you had a few minutes to spare.”
Wondering how rude it would be to say no, I looked around the room like an idiot. Based on what Caden had told me this morning, I had a good idea of what this conversation would be about. And considering that I hadn’t even had a drink of anything other than the berry water, I really wasn’t mentally prepared for this. But more importantly, I needed to find Caden and tell him what I remembered.
Instead, I said, “Sure. Would you like to sit?”
She nodded, and I limped my way to the couch. I was a little too relieved to be sitting. The shower really took a lot out of me, so I plopped down like a horse falling over.
Tatiana sat on the other side of the couch, as graceful as a ballerina, crossing and tucking her ankles and resting her hands in her lap. “How are you feeling?”
“Um, better than I look.” Which was true.
A faint smile appeared. “I’m relieved to hear that. Your injuries are…frightening.”
I blinked.
“I mean, they don’t frighten me, but you must have suffered greatly,” she rushed to correct herself. “I am glad to hear that you killed your tormentor.”
“Yeah,” I said, curling my fingers around the sash of my robe. “I am glad…I killed him.”
Did that sound as dumb as it did to me?
“Aric has haunted the King for far too long,” Tatiana added, surprising me. “What he did to the King’s fiancée all those years ago was an act of pure evil.”
“You…you know about that?”
“Everyone knows what Aric did.” Her head cocked to the side as a frown pinched her brow. “Well, the Summer fae know.”
I stiffened. There was a good chance I was just being sensitive, but that sounded an awful lot like a jab.
“What he did to you was also horrific,” she continued, and I realized that the posture was perfect. She inhaled deeply, appearing to brace herself. “The King was beside himself with worry for you.”
There was a part of me that wanted to pretend like I didn’t know where this conversation was headed, but that would not only be pointless, it would also be cowardly. And I had faced much, much worse.
“Not to sound rude or impatient, but I imagine you’re here to talk about Caden,” I said. Her pale blue eyes widened ever so slightly. “He told me he broke off the engagement.”
Her chin lifted. “Yes, I am here to talk about him.”
“I don’t know what there is to say.” I twisted my fingers around the sash. “I had…I had no idea he ended the engagement until this morning, and I…well, this is super awkward.”
“That it is.” Another small smile appeared. “The entire Court was in the midst of preparing for our mating, and they have no idea it has ended.”
“You haven’t told them?” Admittedly, I didn’t like that. If Caden were so sure about how he felt about me and ending the engagement, why not tell his Court?
“He wanted to wait until I returned home,” she explained. “So that I could avoid any possible embarrassment. While I appreciate the attempt, his refusal will follow me no matter where I go.”
I opened my mouth to apologize but stopped myself. Some innate knowledge told me that she wouldn’t appreciate that. I wouldn’t either. In a way, I was… God, I was the other woman. Unknowingly, but still.
Damn it.
Now I was pissed at Caden all over again.
“But what the King intends has a far greater impact than causing me embarrassment,” she continued. “That is what I wanted to talk to you about. I doubt you fully understand what it means for him to refuse a Queen of his own kind—and I mean no insult by that. You are most likely not aware of our most intimate and political customs.”
“I’m not,” I admitted as a tiny ball of unease formed in my stomach.
“Once a Prince ascends to the throne, they have certain responsibilities that they must complete within a year of doing so. They must assign a council and choose the best warriors of their Court to become their personal Knights.” Tatiana’s gaze skittered to the curtained window. “A King must also choose a Queen, one of their kind deemed worthy enough to bear the next generation.”
“And what if they don’t want to be with the opposite sex?” I thought of Fabian, and suddenly I remembered what Tink had said about how Fabian could not be King or did not want to become King.
“Our kind do not limit…sexuality to one sex.” Her nose wrinkled. “That is an entirely human concept, but a King would still be required to marry a female. He may choose to keep a lover.”
I guessed being forced to marry and sleep with someone he was not attracted to wasn’t—understandably—high on Fabian’s to-do list.
I shook my head. “And what if the King chooses not to marry a female fae?”
“What if Caden chooses you, you mean?” Her gaze met mine then. There was no malice in her stare. Nothing but…sorrow. And that made me even more uncomfortable. “He has already chosen you, but you cannot become his Queen.”
“I don’t want to be his Queen.”
Her dark brows lifted. “You do not want him?”
“That’s not what I said,” I replied before I realized what I was saying. “I…I love him. I was in love with him before he became King.” Swallowing, I shook my head. “I didn’t think he loved me, and I didn’t even know…well, none of that matters right now. I do want him.”
And that was true.
I wanted him, even with his mistakes and flaws and stupid decisions. And he wanted me, even with my scars and bitchiness and even though I wasn’t ready.
“Then I
am sorry,” Tatiana said.
I jolted. “What for?”
“My Court. You have no idea what will happen if Caden gives up his throne to be with you. And that is what he will have to do to have you,” Tatiana said. “He knows that. I do not believe you know that.”
“No,” I whispered, clearing my throat. “I didn’t. Why must he give up his throne?”
“Because he would not fulfill his duty by taking a Queen.”
“That…that is incredibly stupid.” Letting go of the robe sash, I pushed damp strands of hair back from my face. “Why does having a Queen have anything to do with his ability to rule?”
“Because a King does not rule alone,” she stated.
I stared at her, really having no words. That didn’t sound like a reason. Not a real one, anyway. “The Queen rules, doesn’t she? Morgana? She doesn’t have a King.”
Tatiana paled at the mention of the Queen’s name. “She rules through dark magic, and she had a King when she came into power. One that she slaughtered as he slept. And because she has not remarried, her powers are limited. If she ever does marry again, she will be unstoppable.”
Uh.
Good to know.
“You don’t understand.” Tatiana leaned toward me. “This is not just some silly rule we follow out of tradition. The entire future of the Court depends on Caden keeping his throne. The responsibility can no longer be given to his brother, not after Caden ascended. Prince Fabian could only take Caden’s place if the King were to die.”
My unease grew. “What do you mean the future of the Court depends on him?”
“I am glad you asked. Without a King, we would be powerless as we were before he ascended. Our Knights would be weakened, and we would have to return to hiding. The Winter Court could overtake us, and you know what they’re capable of,” she said, lips trembling. “Not only that, but Caden would be weakened. He would no longer be King, ostracized from the Court, and unprotected. Although he would no longer be King, he would still carry royal blood—blood that the Winter Court could use for unfathomable reasons. The entire Court would be vulnerable.”
The Summer King Bundle: 3 Stories by Jennifer L. Armentrout Page 36