If things were different, I would still be scared out of my mind. I never really thought hard about having children. I’d had to take care of my mom, and then there had been my need for revenge. There hadn’t been any serious relationships in the last several years. It just hadn’t been something I thought about. So, I would still be afraid. I’d be wondering if I was capable of caring for a baby. I would still have no idea if I’d be a good mother. But that burst of excitement I’d felt a few seconds before wouldn’t have been squashed by all the fear. It would continue to grow, and maybe some of that trepidation would lessen over time. Instead of thinking about how I was going to make Caden understand that he had to be with someone else, I would be obsessing over how to break the news. I wouldn’t be trying to figure out how to leave, or where I could go. I would be worrying about normal things like how Caden would take the news. Would he be happy? Scared? Disappointed? If things were different, I wouldn’t be spending one moment hiding the pregnancy from him.
God, that hurt. I hated the whole idea of hiding it. That wasn’t who I was. But things weren’t different. I was pragmatic enough to realize that these were the cards I had been dealt, and it didn’t matter how unfair that hand was.
I pressed my palm against the skin of my stomach, wincing as the many slices stung. Here were the facts: I was pregnant with the King of the Summer Court’s child. He loved me, and I loved him. But the fate of the actual world rested on him choosing a Queen from his people. I knew I didn’t have it in me to share him, even if he married someone and eventually slept with them only out of duty. I couldn’t do it. We had to put the world before ourselves, and I needed to somehow get Caden to see that. More importantly, there were more immediate, pressing concerns. Aric was dead, but Neal was still out there. He may not be as powerful or as smart as Aric, but I didn’t think he’d tuck tail and run like Caden thought he would. Even if he did, there was still the issue of someone within the Summer Court working with the Winter fae. I needed to find Caden and tell him what I’d remembered. I had to do that before I even tried to talk some sense into him or find a way to get him to do the right thing.
Letting go of my shirt, I watched the soft fabric flutter back into place. It was then I realized that I was crying. I wiped at my cheeks a little too roughly. It hurt the still-healing bruises.
“Pull it together,” I said, forcing myself to take a deep breath. “You need to pull it together, Bri.”
And I did. It took a while, but I was able to do what I’d done while being held captive by Aric. I shut my emotions down and locked them away. Only then did I toe on a pair of flip-flops Ivy had brought and leave the room.
The hall to the elevator was blessedly empty. I stepped inside, hitting the button for the first floor. I had no idea which room Caden was staying in, but if he was up and moving about, I figured he’d either be in or near Tanner’s office. If not, Tanner could probably tell me where he was. I rode the elevator down, not letting myself think of anything.
A mysterious sugary scent hit me the moment the elevator doors opened to the wide hall that split in three different directions. My stomach grumbled. There was a bakery in the cafeteria area, and they must’ve put out a fresh batch of something. With great effort, I forced myself to turn right instead of walking straight toward the cafeteria. I headed down the brightly lit hall. Reaching the corner—
I came face-to-face with several silvery-skinned fae. I didn’t recognize any of them, but there was no mistaking the shock on their faces as they got an eyeful of me. I had no idea if they knew who I was, but it was obvious that they saw someone who looked as if they had gone toe-to-toe with a professional boxer and lost. My left eye was open, but it was more purple than pink, and the lid felt incredibly heavy. The swelling had reduced a little along my cheek, but I still looked like I had food shoved in there. The cut in my bottom lip didn’t nearly look as bad as it had this morning, but it was still angry-looking.
Then there was the band of bruised skin around my neck.
One of the fae, a younger male, stared at that, and I realized I probably should’ve left my hair down. Or found a turtleneck. And a ski mask.
They hurried around me, saying nothing, and I trudged on, seeing the open door to Tanner’s office up ahead. Above me, one of the recessed lights flickered—
Say it!
I jerked to a stop, air lodging in my throat as Aric’s voice thundered in my ears and all around me. He wasn’t here. I knew that. He was dead, and I wasn’t in that awful place. I was safe. I’d killed him. I was—
Say it!
Clapping my hands over my ears, I tried to silence the roar of Aric’s voice, but the hallway around me darkened. The walls became damp, moldy bricks. I inhaled sharply, no longer smelling sugar but mold and decay. Blood. I staggered forward. Chains clinked. The weight unbearable around my neck. I’m not there. I’m not there. The floor shifted under my feet, and I felt my knees connect with the stone, but the pain barely registered. Aric’s cold breath was against my cheek.
“Say it,” he demanded, his voice echoing around me, through me. “Say please.”
“No. No. No,” I whispered, doubling over.
Hands touched my shoulders, and I jerked back, expecting biting pain to follow. I couldn’t take anymore. I couldn’t—
A voice broke through the haze of panic, a timbre that was deep and smooth. Comforting. I thought I recognized it. Whoever it was said something. A name. Brighton. More words. Open your eyes. My fingers curled into the hair above my ears. I’d heard those words before. Open your eyes, sunshine.
Sunshine.
That…that meant something. Meaning was attached to that. Emotions. Happiness. Sadness. Safety.
Arms shifted around me, and I felt as if I were floating for several seconds before being settled against something warm and hard. It moved. Rose up and down steadily against the side of my body as a voice whispered, “It’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you. I’ve always got you.”
Fingers curled around my wrists. They were warm, not at all like Aric’s. His skin was ice cold. I focused on the feeling of those fingers as they slowly pulled mine away from my ears. This wasn’t Aric. He was dead. I’d killed him. I wasn’t there. I knew that. My arms were lowered to my lap. I didn’t want to look because I had the distinct feeling that I’d heard this all before. And once…once it hadn’t been real.
What if none of this was real?
Maybe I was still in that cold, damp, and dark place, chained to the stone slab. My heart stuttered as a hoarse sound crawled up and out of me.
Those warm fingers touched my right cheek, and I started to draw back, but a gentle touch followed. “Open your eyes for me.” The voice came again. “Please open your eyes so you can see me and know that it’s me holding you, touching you. That you’re safe. Open your eyes, sunshine.”
I did, and I found myself looking into two amber jewels. Not Aric’s icy eyes. Not the pale blue of a normal fae. Hot, golden eyes thickly fringed with heavy lashes. My gaze moved over the straight, proud nose and the full, expressive lips, to the sculpted jaw and blond strands of hair that rested against high, sharp cheekbones.
He cupped my cheeks, careful not to put pressure on the left side of my face as he guided my gaze back to his. “Your name is Brighton Jussier. Your friends sometimes call you Bri. Tink calls you Lite Bright,” he said, those beautiful eyes searching mine. “I call you my sunshine. Do you know why? It’s because I saw you smile once, and it was like the sun finally rising after centuries of nothing but night.”
A deep shudder started inside me and then rippled out over my skin. With the next breath I took, the scent of summer rain and long, hot nights surrounded me.
It was like waking up from a nightmare with your eyes already open. I was stuck somewhere, and then I was here.
I knew who I was.
I knew where I was.
And I also knew who held me.
The King.
Caden.
&nb
sp; Chapter 4
Impossibly, all thoughts fled the moment Caden smiled.
He was a stunning man, but when those full lips curved into a grin, he became breathtakingly beautiful. Everything that had led to this moment took a backseat. It was just Caden and me, his warm body against mine, and his hands ever so gently holding me.
I’m carrying his child.
I didn’t know who moved first. If it was him. If it was me. Or both of us. What mattered was that our lips met. My breath snagged. He was more than aware of the cut along my lower lip, knew just the right pressure so it wouldn’t cause even a second of pain. And it felt like a first kiss. In a way, it was. Our last kiss like this had been weeks ago—months ago. An eternity. Before Aric, before things I knew were important but couldn’t pull from my scattered thoughts.
There was no thinking. Only sensation as I felt as if I sank into him. Caden was so incredibly careful, avoiding the numerous areas of aches and pains. He sipped from my lips in slow, drugging kisses that sent a flush of heady warmth through my body, chasing away the iciness of what had just occurred.
He tasted rich and lush as one of his hands lowered to my hip. I could feel the tension in his lax grip, as if he wanted to grab me, hold me tight but held back.
Caden and the kiss…they were both so incredibly gentle, so loving. A swelling motion rose in my heart, and a rawness appeared in my soul. I no longer had to fantasize about how it felt to be kissed by someone who didn’t just love me but also cherished me. Because that was how I was kissed right then. It was one of the most beautiful and painful realizations.
All those scattered thoughts were piecing themselves together, reminding me of what exactly had just happened and everything that had come before.
I shouldn’t be doing this—allowing this. Too much was at stake. I needed to distance myself from Caden. Not make out with him.
Caden ended the kiss before I had the common sense to do so. He pulled away just enough that his forehead rested on mine. Against my arm, I could feel his strong heart pounding. “I missed that little catch in your breath,” he murmured. “I missed the taste of you on my tongue.”
Heat swamped me, and I wanted to let it drown me. Then I wouldn’t care about the consequences.
God.
I shouldn’t have let him kiss me.
Or I shouldn’t have kissed him.
My lips still tingled. Other parts of me were also doing that, and I didn’t need the reminder to make what I had to do even harder. I had to put as much space between us as I could, but my body and heart had different ideas. I tipped forward, resting my unbruised cheek on his shoulder. There was no hesitation from Caden. His arms swept around me, and a sigh I couldn’t hope to hide parted my lips. He held me so very carefully, mindful of all the hurts. In his arms, I felt as if nothing could reach me—not the past or the future, not even the horrible dread that I would become just like my mom, or the knowledge that I had to walk away from Caden. I felt cherished and protected. Safe.
Caden drew a hand over my head, down the loose ponytail, and then over the line of my spine. The steady sweep of his hand was soothing. I didn’t know how much time passed as I soaked up his warmth, his closeness, but then he spoke. “I just missed you, Brighton.”
My heart squeezed as if a hand reached inside and gripped it, and all that warmth from before was chased away by cold, harsh reality.
Caden lifted his head then, his gaze coasting over my features as if they were flawless. He smiled again, but I realized it didn’t quite reach his eyes. A wealth of concern rested there, and I hated seeing that. “How are you feeling now?”
I dragged my gaze from his, focusing on the patch of golden skin above the collar of his black shirt. “I feel okay.”
“Truly?”
I nodded, having a feeling that he knew better.
“I have a lot of questions.”
Not exactly surprising.
“Starting with the most important one,” he continued. “What are you doing out of bed?”
I blinked. That was the most important thing? He’d found me in a hallway, having what was definitely a hallucination, and he was asking why I was out of bed? I started to move, reminding myself that we definitely needed space between us, but the hand at my back held me in place.
I didn’t fight him. I could’ve, and I believed if I pushed, he’d let go, but I didn’t. Just a little longer, I told myself. “I was looking for you,” I admitted.
“Flattered,” he murmured, smoothing down the wisps of my hair with his other hand. “But you should be resting and taking it easy. Neither of those two things includes roaming around the hotel.”
“I wasn’t roaming around.” I looked up at him. “And I feel fine.”
Caden stared at me.
I sighed. “I mean, I physically feel okay.”
He sat back a little, and I realized we were in one of the meeting rooms near Tanner’s office, sitting on a couch. Well, he was sitting on the couch. I was sitting on him, my legs resting on the cushion next to us. “You want to tell me what happened out there?”
Not really, but he’d seen me worse than this. When he found me in that underground chamber, I had been much harder to reach. “I don’t know what happened. I was coming down to tell you something, and one of the ceiling lights flickered.” My nose scrunched as I looked away again, focusing on a bouquet of purplish-pink irises. “Actually, I’m not even sure if the light flickered or not.”
“They did in Tanner’s office. A power surge, I believe,” he said.
Knowing I hadn’t hallucinated that part brought forth a small measure of relief. “After I saw the light, I…”
“What?” he asked softly.
My cheeks heated. “I heard Aric’s voice.” Aware that the movement of his hand had halted at the mention of the Winter fae, I forced myself to keep talking. “I knew he wasn’t here, but it was like being sucked into this…this hallucination. I don’t know if the light triggered it or what. With Mom, I don’t think there was anything in particular that caused her to lose the sense of who she was. But I couldn’t pull myself out of it. And I…I knew who I was.” A shiver worked its way through me. “Mom always did, but it was like I didn’t know where I was or what was real. I can’t…” I exhaled roughly as I gave a little shake of my head. “It wasn’t the first time I’d heard his voice or hallucinated. When I was there, I thought I saw a lot of things. And with Mom, it wasn’t as bad when she first came back. But it steadily got worse.”
Caden’s hand started moving again. “I know you’re aware of this. Too many feedings can fracture a human’s mind. It doesn’t take much.”
I did know that. Even if I hadn’t seen it firsthand with my mom, I could see it every day on the streets of New Orleans. Humans who stumbled around mindlessly, some easily mistaken for addicts while others became uncontrollable, violent creatures. It also happened when a fae bent human minds to their will too often.
“I know you’re afraid that you’re going to become your mom, but you’re stronger than that.”
“Mom was the strongest woman I knew.”
“I don’t know that, but you’re different. You’re not entirely human,” Caden said quietly. Slowly, my gaze lifted to his. The Summer Kiss. “You’re going to heal from this. All the bruises and the cuts will heal. Your mind will heal. You just need time. And you have time.”
God, I wanted to latch on to that and believe him, but I wasn’t sure if he was telling me that so I’d have hope, or if he was being truthful. But I really didn’t have time. There were important things to deal with.
Namely one that would be arriving in roughly seven months—give or take a week.
Pressure settled on my shoulders, and I had to change the subject. If not, I was likely to blurt out everything.
“What is it?” he asked, curling his fingers around my chin. He guided my gaze back to his.
My heart tripped over itself. “What do you mean?”
“Somet
hing is bothering you,” he said. “Something that’s not about what just happened. What are you not telling me?”
Panic flared in the pit of my stomach as my throat dried, and it became difficult to swallow.
“You’re scared. That, I understand.” His thumb swept over the curve of my chin. “But there’s sadness there too. I can feel it drenching your skin. You’ve been through a lot. I know, but this is different. You weren’t like this when I left you earlier or any other time.”
I froze. He couldn’t know. Caden could sense emotions, which meant hiding anything from him was difficult, but he wasn’t a mind reader. There was no way.
My mind rapidly searched for an explanation. Luckily, I remembered why I’d set out in search of him. If what Aric claimed was true, that would give me a reason to be sad. I latched on to that and ran with it. “It’s what I came down to tell you. I remembered—”
A soft knock on the door interrupted me, followed by Tanner’s voice. “My King? Is everything all right?”
Caden’s gaze didn’t leave me as he all but growled, “Everything’s fine. I’ll be in to see you when I can.”
“Wait!” I shouted, scrambling out of Caden’s lap. He frowned, but I ignored that and the flare of pain that shot through my body.
“I’m…I’m waiting,” came Tanner’s tentative response through the door.
“We’re not done talking,” Caden told me.
“This involves him.” And it did. Also, I seriously doubted that Caden would pursue his earlier questioning while Tanner was present. The older fae was also the perfect buffer. “Please come in.”
The door didn’t open. Confused, I looked at Caden, who sighed. “It’s okay,” he announced, draping an arm along the back of the couch. “You may come in, Tanner.”
My brows lifted. “Really?”
He winked. “I’m the King.”
“Whatever,” I muttered as the door opened.
Tanner entered, dressed as if he were about to go out for a round of golf. Beige, pressed trousers and a light blue polo shirt, wrinkle-free. All he was missing was a glove. He couldn’t look more…human. The silvery hair at his temples was spreading, proof that he didn’t feed from humans. Sometimes I wondered if my mom had developed a bit of a crush on Tanner, one that had been reciprocated. Mom liked him, so I trusted Tanner.
The Summer King Bundle: 3 Stories by Jennifer L. Armentrout Page 39