“This is why you’ve tried to push me away,” he said, and my eyes opened on the word tried. He was staring down at me, a slight smile on his lips. “It’s not because you don’t want me. It’s not because you don’t love me. It’s because you think you’re doing the right thing.”
“Because I am,” I snapped.
The smile grew. “Not that I needed the confirmation that I am right, but thank you nonetheless for providing it.”
“It doesn’t matter if you’re right or wrong.” I rose, shaking my head. “It doesn’t matter how I feel or how you feel.”
“It does matter that you believe you’re doing the right thing. That you’re willing to do the right thing. At least to me.” He looked up at me, gaze warm. “You know what that says about you?”
“Yes. I’m brave or selfless or whatever.” I waved a hand, dismissing that. “I’d rather be selfish.”
“But never a coward?”
I didn’t even have to consider the answer. “No.”
“I didn’t think so.” His gaze searched mine. “I’m going to ask you something, Brighton, and I want you to be honest. I need you to be honest. Do you love me?”
Tension settled on my shoulders as I started to speak—to lie. But he already knew the truth. I imagined he just wanted to hear me say it. Either way, I didn’t think I had it in me to force that lie past my lips once more.
“I love you, Caden.” My voice thickened as I crossed my arms and gripped my waist. “I think…I think I fell in love with you the moment you walked into Flux and let me pretend I was under the glamour of a fae. I know that sounds weird, but I’ve always been able to tell you things I couldn’t share with anyone else. As crazy as this sounds, I’m comfortable with you in a way I’ve never been with any guy, even though you’re freaking perfect, and I’m the exact opposite of that. You’re smart. You’re funny, even when you’re annoying the ever-loving crap out of me. You’re sensitive in a way I don’t think many people would ever expect you to be. So, yes, I love you, Caden.”
His eyes closed briefly. When they reopened, it was almost like twin fires had lit them from within. “Do you know that the fae believe that a piece of their soul is released upon birth and finds a home in their soulmate?”
Recalling what Luce had said about two souls and the mortuus, I had a feeling that whatever he was about to say was going to make me cry.
“I found that piece of my soul in Siobhan. When she was killed, I didn’t believe that I would ever find it again, even though the fae believe that upon death, that piece of the soul is once more released. You see, I was lucky when I found Siobhan. Not all fae find the missing piece of their soul. It doesn’t mean that their love for another is any less real. It’s just that two souls being connected is more intense and immediate. It can happen with just one look.” He pressed his palm against his chest. “What is in here recognizes what belongs. The joining of two souls is an unbreakable bond.”
A tremor coursed through me as I fought the urge to both run to him and run from the room.
“I saw you before the night the gateways to the Otherworld were sealed. Just brief glimpses, but each time, I felt this throbbing in my chest. It had been so long since I’d felt anything like it that I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. But that night when you helped my brother…” His voice roughened as he tipped forward. “I knew that somehow, someway, the part of my soul that had been released had found another home. I never would’ve dared to hope I’d find you, the one who held a piece of my soul, but I did.”
What he said would’ve sounded crazy to me a handful of years ago. Soulmates? I would’ve said they only existed in fairy tales. But now? This made sense.
“I tried to stay away then. I could sense your fear and distrust of the fae, and when I realized that you could be used against me like Siobhan had been, I tried to distance myself from you. Both were mistakes, ones I will spend an eternity trying to make up for.”
A breath seemed to shudder out of him. “I love you, Brighton. I know I fell in love with you before we even spoke to one another. That love only deepened when I saw how strong and resilient you became. When I learned how incredibly intelligent and generous you are.”
The back of my throat and eyes burned as he continued. “My love for you grew each time you pushed back at me, showing me you weren’t afraid, and I knew the reason why you became my mortuus when you were willing to look past who I was and saw beyond what I’d done when I was under the Queen’s spell. You are my sun, Brighton. I loved you before I found you in that club, even before I gave you the Summer Kiss.”
I shuddered, taking a step back. “Caden…” I pushed the tears down. “What you just said, it was beautiful, and I know it’s real. There is something entirely inexplicable about us. But hearing that…it hurts.”
“It’s not meant to hurt, sunshine. I wish you would’ve come to me the moment you heard what would happen if I didn’t choose a Queen. I think I could’ve saved you a lot of heartache.”
I wasn’t sure how hearing this days ago would’ve lessened the amount of pain I was in.
“What if I told you that you could be selfish?” he asked.
Letting out a dry laugh, I shook my head again. “Caden, it’s not like I haven’t thought about this. About whether either of us could live with ourselves, knowing what we’ve risked. I know I can’t. I know you couldn’t.”
“I didn’t want to be King. You know that,” he said. “But that doesn’t mean I would let my Court rot and decay.”
“See?” I reasoned. “You agree. We can’t be together. No matter how badly we want to be. So, this conversation is only hurting both of us.”
“This was a conversation I planned to have once you had a little time to process everything you’ve been through and learned,” he repeated. “Because what I’m about to tell you will come as another shock, but I see now waiting was a mistake. Sometimes we think we’re doing the right thing when we’re not.”
Considering what I knew that he didn’t, I doubted he could shock me. “What do you have to tell me?”
“I have to tell you that I have chosen a Queen.”
My entire body jerked as my heart twisted painfully in my chest. I searched desperately for relief but found nothing but aching emptiness and bitterness. This was what the world needed, but God, it still cut so deeply. “Okay,” I whispered, wondering what the hell the point of this conversation was. “Congrats.”
One side of his lips curved up. “Perhaps I need to be a bit clearer. I’ve chosen you, Brighton. I’ve chosen you to be my Queen.”
Chapter 11
“Me?” I squeaked. I couldn’t have heard him right. There was no way.
Caden nodded. “You. I’ve chosen you.”
I stared at him for what felt like an eternity, heart racing, and stomach feeling as if I were poised at the top of a rollercoaster. “You can’t choose me.”
“Oh, yes, I can,” he replied. “And I have.”
“But the Summer Court, the world—”
“Will be just fine.” He reached out, curling his fingers around my elbows. “Because you are my mortuus, and I’ve given you the Summer Kiss.”
“What does that have to do with it?” Tears blurred his face.
“Because you’re not entirely human any longer.” He rose slowly as if trying not to startle me. “You’re not fae, either. You have a piece of my soul inside you. That places you above any fae my Court could offer me. The Summer fae would not weaken, nor would the human world. I would not be dethroned.” His thumbs slid along my elbows. “I would be whole.”
Confusion swamped me as a tiny kernel of something more powerful than hope formed. Some fae knew I was Caden’s mortuus—Tanner and Luce. I imagined Fabian knew, as did Tink. I didn’t think any of them would be particularly dishonest with me. “Is this something well known? That your mortuus, no matter if they are fae or human, can be your Queen?”
“It’s not just the mortuus. It’s also the Summ
er Kiss,” he explained, his gaze questioning. “Why?”
“I…” I’d told no one about the Summer Kiss. Luce didn’t even know that. Neither did Tanner. Had Caden told Fabian? If so, he must’ve kept it from Tink because Tink would’ve told me. The tiny kernel grew, unfurling like a blossoming flower. “Are you…are you for real?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Caden dragged his hands up my arms.
My brain sort of shorted out. I could have him and the future I wanted so badly and not risk the entire world? We could be together. Our child would have a mother and father who loved each other. My legs started to tremble, and I jerked back from his hold. “Why didn’t you tell me this when you told me you ended your engagement with Tatiana!”
“Looking back, I realize I should have, but I figured you’d been through enough, and it seemed like a good idea to wait before I told you I planned to make you my wife. I figured after you had some time to heal, we’d talk,” he explained. “I didn’t expect anyone to go to you.”
My breath came in short, quick pants. What he was saying sounded reasonable. He’d been thinking of what I could handle given that I’d just been held—wait. “You…you want to marry me?”
His lips twitched. “To make you my Queen, I would have to marry you.”
“Is this a proposal?”
He grinned then, somehow looking boyish. “I had planned on doing something romantic.”
Feeling like I might faint, I pressed my palm to the center of my chest. “You’re not lying to me now, right?”
“I would not lie about this.” He lifted his hands, cupping my cheeks. I didn’t flinch. Everything that had happened with Aric was the furthest thing from my mind. “I would never lie to you about how I feel or our future. Never again, sunshine.”
“This isn’t…this isn’t a hallucination, is it?”
Anguish filled his gaze. “No, sunshine. This is real.”
I didn’t know what happened next.
It was like a seal deep inside me cracked wide open. I tried to say his name, but all that came up was a deep, soul-shaking sob. The tears I’d been fighting overwhelmed me. Vaguely, I was aware of Caden gathering me in his arms, and then we were on the bed, him sitting with me in his lap, one arm wrapped tightly around me, a hand curled around the back of my head.
And I cried.
It was the ugly kind of crying that shook the entire body. Whatever had been ripped open inside of me had been a Pandora’s box of emotions. What spilled out of me was a mixture of the best and the worst of the storm. Some of the tears that fell were for all the wounds Aric had caused, those inflicted years ago, the ones that had faded, and the ones that were never visible. The death of my mother, the way I never felt truly valued by the Order, and even the loss of the father I’d never known fueled the sobs. But there was a different side to the outpouring of emotion as well. A wealth of relief and such potent happiness that all I could do was cry. And I never happy-cried.
But I was now because I didn’t have to watch the man I loved bind his life to someone else. I wouldn’t have to walk away, knowing I would never feel the kind of love I had for him again, nor would I ever have to worry if I’d find someone who loved me as much as he did. I didn’t have to hide our child from him. He could be a part of the child’s life from the beginning. We wouldn’t have that house with the white picket fence, but we would have each other.
We would have a future together. That realization made me cry even harder, and the whole time, Caden held me. He whispered words to me that reminded me of music. It was a language I couldn’t begin to understand. Still, it soothed all the frayed edges until finally the tears subsided, and the tremors stopped.
There was so much I wanted to tell him as I lifted my head from his chest. There was so much I needed to tell him as I looked up and saw the concern in his gaze as he dragged his hand around to my cheek. That I was pregnant. That he was about to become a father. That I loved him. That I now believed in soulmates. That the tears weren’t all bad. That happy couldn’t even begin to describe the hope, anticipation, excitement, and the hundred other emotions I currently felt.
But as Caden’s thumb dragged over my lower lip, I knew that if he felt one-tenth of the rawness swirling around inside me, now wasn’t the time for words. Fire replaced the concern in his gaze, and the way his lips parted and his chest rose sharply against my hands was intentional. Tension poured into the air around us, becoming a tangible third entity. I imagined I could almost see the air heating and crackling. A heavy ache settled in my breasts and then moved lower, between my thighs. It was a deep, pulsing throb that I didn’t just welcome but reveled in because it was more than just primal physical attraction. It was our love for one another manifesting into something that could not be denied.
Time for words would come later.
Closing the distance between us, I kissed Caden. The touch of his lips against mine was a jolt to the system. It was like brushing up against a live wire, lighting up the network of nerves all across my body. I shuddered as the arm around me tightened, drawing me against the hot, hard length of his body. The taste of him against my lips, on my tongue, was like ambrosia. Every part of me became hyperaware of how his mouth felt against mine, his lips soft yet hard. How he tasted like sunshine and summer against the tip of my tongue.
Giving in to the rising tide of sensations, I rocked my hips against him. The thin leggings I wore were no barrier to the hardness pressing against the material of his jeans. He skated his fingers through my hair, his hand balling in the loose strands. A deep, growling sound radiated out from the back of his throat and rumbled through me. The tips of my breasts tingled, and the kiss went deeper as he managed to hold me even tighter. A moan curled its way out of my throat as he shifted under me, lining his hips up perfectly with mine. My fingers dug into his shirt as my pulse became a heady thrum.
I almost whimpered as Caden broke the kiss, pulling back as his gaze roamed over my face. I didn’t care what I looked like after having cried for the Lord knew how long, because I realized he didn’t see the puffy eyes or tear-streaked cheeks or the remnants of the fading bruises and healing cuts.
He saw me.
Only me.
“Are you sure?” he whispered, his gaze searching mine intently. “Because we can do everything, or we don’t have to do anything. I would be happy to just hold you, to just kiss and play, Brighton. I’m satisfied with you being in my arms.”
Fresh tears pricked my eyes, but I didn’t worry if they fell or not. “That is why I’m sure.” His willingness to wait, to do nothing or anything was why I knew I was ready, why it wasn’t too soon after everything that’d happened. “I need you, Caden. Make love to me. Please?”
“You never have to say please. Ever.” Cradling my cheeks in his hands, he shuddered against me. “All that I am. All that I have. It’s yours. I’m yours.”
Caden kissed me then, and oh God, no one—no one—kissed like him. His mouth moved over mine like he was claiming every hidden part of my heart and soul. My shirt came off. Then his. We stood, our mouths and hands skimming over every inch of exposed skin. His fingers gripped the band of my leggings, tugging them down, along with the panties I wore underneath. I reached for the button on his jeans, hands trembling as I then worked at the zipper. Off went his pants, and then he eased down the tight, black boxer briefs he had on, freeing the rigid length of his cock.
Caden was…he was beautiful. Every part of him, from the broad expanse of his chest and the tightly rolled muscles of his stomach, to the proud jut of his arousal.
So distracted by the sight of him, I hadn’t even noticed that he’d unclasped my bra until his mouth closed over one nipple. I cried out, reaching for those silky strands of hair, but he dropped to his knees in front of me.
His lips brushed over the faint pink scars from two years ago. “Beautiful.” He tilted his head, kissing one of the many almost-healed slices. “You’re so beautiful, Brighton. Every part of you.” He
sank even lower, his lips searching and tasting, licking and exploring until his breath danced over my most sensitive area. Then his head shifted, and I felt the wet slide of his tongue along my inner thigh, moving up and up until it slipped inside, swirling and tasting. Each time his tongue thrust in, pleasure became a lightning bolt down my spine. “This is especially beautiful.”
His mouth closed over the bundle of nerves, and my head fell back. There was no slow build of sensation. He knew exactly what he was doing when he dragged his teeth over my sensitive skin, soothing the bite with his tongue before closing his mouth over the turgid flesh. The release hit me hard. Crying out, my head fell back as pounding wave after wave of pleasure roared through me.
Before the tremors stopped, Caden rose. Somehow, we ended up on the bed, his large body settling over mine and then between my thighs. His mouth found mine once more, and the taste of me mingled with the essence of him.
“I waited several lifetimes for you,” he said, brushing the hair back from my face. “I would wait several more if I had to.”
“You don’t.” I touched his cheeks and then slid my hand down the sides of his neck to his shoulders. “You don’t have to wait anymore. I don’t have to wait.”
Caden’s body shifted, and I felt him pressing against me. I lifted my hips, and my breath caught and then held. His gaze snared mine. “This feels like a dream. If it is, I don’t ever want to wake…” His voice choked off as he thrust in, fully seating himself. The pressure and fullness was unbelievable, and the small bit of discomfort faded as he made a sound, a velvety growl. “Sunshine.”
From there, there were only our short, shallow breaths and the sounds of our bodies moving together. His hips rolled and pumped, and I followed, the unbelievable tension building once more.
Caden planted his elbow in the bed beside my head as he shoved his arm under my back and lifted me so my breasts were pressed to his chest. His strength was shocking and wickedly arousing as he moved over me. In me. Each stroke deeper and harder, became more powerful. My back hit the mattress once more. I curled my legs around his waist, and I met each deep and even thrust until I couldn’t any longer, until the pace quickened, and his body held mine down. My body tensed around his, and my blood turned to lava as every part of my body tightened at once, all over again.
The Summer King Bundle: 3 Stories by Jennifer L. Armentrout Page 45