by Beth Reason
Chapter 7
Scarab drew a deep and painful breath. Her years of experience told her the worst thing to do would be to sit up and look around. Better to assess while any possible enemy still thought she was out. She drew another and tried to think. Cool. The air was cool. She could feel a flat, hard surface beneath her, and those two facts meant she was inside. She could also feel something over her toes, and decided to risk flexing them. They moved easily, so she was sure they were not in boots. Someone broke her new boots. Cool air, hard surface, pain in her chest, and no boots. Any enemy would have killed her in the field if they wanted her dead. Killed her, stripped her, and let the sand turn her to ash without a trace. Friend or foe, they wanted her alive. She decided it was time to look around.
Scarab slowly opened her eyes and blinked to clear the haze. A barn. They were in a barn. She released a deep sigh of relief, wincing as she did so. Damn but her chest hurt! She tried to remember what happened. Wraiths. There were wraiths. Think. Think. One went down, Tenet dropped his. She remembered the feel of Tenet stepping away, and remembered turning to look. She remembered a thump on her chest, and then nothing. There must have been a third. Scarab balled her fist up and gave the table a pound, cursing herself for dropping her guard. “Dammit,” she said, her voice soft and raspy. How the hell could she have let that happen?
She sighed again, wanting to feel the pain. She deserved it. How had she gotten here? Surely Tenet wasn't able to...Tenet! Her eyes flew wide and her heart stopped with the panic. Without thinking about the pain, she sat up quickly and had to prop herself with her hand to keep from passing out from the rush. When the world stopped spinning, she looked around her, searching for her bounty. There he was, a lump on the floor. She knew it had to be him. No other lump she had ever met snored that loudly.
The relief was almost overwhelming, and she laid back on the table blinking back the tears. What a failure. Never before had she done a job so miserably that her bounty had to fend for them both. She shook her head and tried to stop the tears, but they kept flowing. Get it together, Scarab. She took a shaky breath and sat back up, more slowly than before. This time, the earth stayed stable. She looked down at the snoring lump and had to laugh. He saved her? That wimp of a boy who didn't even know to wear clothes under his suit or bring his own water....he saved her? She sighed again, and shook her head. She'd never live this one down.
She scanned the rest of the barn and saw a familiar rig parked in the bay, with two more snoring bodies inside. Enna and Hark! She felt the warmth of gratitude flow through her. She should have known they were behind the rescue. Scarab carefully swung her legs to the side of the table and steeled herself against the pain before she hopped down. She stood on her shaky legs for a minute before she felt strong enough to move. Making her way across the barn, she went into the small bathroom unit and looked at herself in the mirror.
She rubbed at her unfamiliar face with a mixture of disbelief and disgust. Not only was she pale, but she looked like hell. Sure, it had been quite a long time since she'd actually seen herself in a mirror. But could she really have changed so much? She looked like a stranger.
With shaking hands, she wet her face and scrubbed at the dirt. The cool water added a little life back to her, and she decided it was the best she would be able to do. She stepped back and lifted her shirt. A large bandage crossed her chest, and though she didn't really want to, she knew she had to see what happened to her. Going slow, she carefully peeled back the bandage. Stitches across an angry red welt. She poked at the stitches and had to admit they were pretty good for emergency doctoring. That, she knew, was all Tenet. She covered the wound again and dropped her shirt. Her stomach growled, and she padded to her sack to look for food.
Her lock was broken. No, not just broken. Smashed. And her UTOSS was missing. Upon further inspection, she couldn't find her com, either. What the hell was going on? She looked at the sleeping Tenet and it all made sense. He waited until she was out, then tried to rob her blind! Forgetting the pain of swift movement, she marched over and kicked him in the ass.
“Hey!” he shouted, jumping to his feet.
“You've got a lot of explaining to do, mister!”
When the fog of sleep cleared from Tenet's eyes, and he realized who had woken him up, he didn't even care that she was boiling with rage. She was alive! And feeling good enough to pick a fight! He was so happy, he didn't even care if she beat him senseless. He couldn't help picking her up and swinging her around.
“Put me down!” she screamed, pounding his chest.
“You're alive!”
“You're not going to be unless you put me down right now!”
But Tenet didn't. He couldn't. She was alive! He didn't kill her. She was alive and mad and it was wonderful. He twirled her as she called him every name in the book, and eventually set her down gently. But he didn't let go.
“Let me go.”
“No.”
“Let. Me. Go.”
“I can't.” He held her, tight enough that her struggles were useless, but not tight enough to hurt. He needed to hold her, even if she was mad as hell.
Nothing made sense to her, and it was her confusion more than anything that fueled her rage. He was glad she was alive? Not glad. He seemed absolutely elated. Odd for a thief. Odd for a bounty. Just what the hell happened out there? She finally stopped struggling and stood there, letting him get it out of his system. It was pointless to struggle. Just let him do it and get it over with. And then he'd pay. “Are you done yet?” she asked, her voice muffled by his shirt.
“Nope.”
She sighed and tapped her foot. “Come on. That's enough.”
Tenet grinned over her head, reveling in the feel of her in his arms. “No, no it's not.” He shifted, keeping one arm around her still, but pulling her back so he could look at her. She tilted her head up to meet his gaze with a glare. Instead of taking it like the threat it was meant to be, Tenet threw his head back and laughed. “God, it's good to see that look again!”
Scarab was completely at a loss. She had no idea how to handle this...this...situation. She looked into his eyes and was filled with a mix of emotions ranging from deep rage to confusion to frustration...and something else. “Tenet,” she said in the most commanding tone she could muster. “Let me go.”
He looked at her again and shook his head. “Welcome back to the land of the living, Scarab.” Without any notice at all, he brought a hand up and gently caressed her cheek.
Scarab's heart slammed into her chest and her mouth went dry. No one touched her. No one was allowed to touch her. Ever. And certainly not a bounty, no matter how much he meant to... Scarab's eyes went wide with fright at her thoughts. She liked it, didn't she? She liked how good his hand felt on her cheek. She liked that look in his eyes. And she certainly liked how he held her, like she really meant something, like she was worth something. Her fear caused her to act in the only way she knew how. She brought her knee up and sent him reeling to the floor.
“Don't...don't you ever...” she was shaking so badly she couldn't even speak.
Tenet tried desperately to suck air into his lungs, but the smile never left his face. No doubt he'd be limping and singing soprano for awhile. But boy, was it worth it! He felt alive. He truly felt alive. He rolled and gasped on the floor until finally his lungs obeyed and allowed a gulp of air back in. “Nice shot,” he squeaked out weakly.
“What the hell's goin' on out...Scarab!” Hark waddled over to her and gave her a thump on the back. “Well now girlie, good to see you back on yer feet.” He looked down at Tenet and laughed. “Nice to see you back off yours, boy.”
Tenet waved a hand, struggling to get up off the floor.
“Gal's got a good kick to her, eh?”
Tenet grinned and stood hunched over, catching his breath.
“Scarab!” came Enna's voice. She rushed over and threw her arms around Scarab, almost crying herself with relief.
Scarab sti
ffened at the contact, but allowed the woman the embrace. She was still too stunned from Tenet's reaction to do anything else.
“Oh, it's good to see you up!” Enna said, pulling back and wiping the tears away. “You, young lady, gave us all quite a scare!”
Scarab swallowed the lump in her throat. She always had a soft spot for Enna. In many ways, Enna was more of a mother to her than anyone she had ever known. “I'm...I'm sorry. I guess I really screwed up this time.” The admission shocked all in the room.
Enna knew that if it was said with such misery, it was felt with even more. She waved a hand. “You always beat yourself up so. You didn't know what nature had in store this year. None of us did. Nothing like this was predicted.”
Scarab quirked an eyebrow, finding it hard to believe that no one knew this was coming, and convinced that Enna was just trying to make her feel better. “No one?”
Hark shook his head. “She's right. We had no idea. Weren't in none of the off season specs. Nothin' in the sky nor sea to indicate.”
Scarab felt a bit weak and took a seat next to the table. Tenet hobbled over to her sack and got into it as if it were his own. “Get out of my stuff,” she said as sternly as possible.
He ignored her, taking out a bottle of water and a lump of food for each of them. She glared at him and he rolled his eyes. “Oh calm down. You'll pop those stitches.” His voice was a little higher than normal, but otherwise he was none the worse for wear.
Scarab crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head back to Enna and Hark. Tenet sighed and put the water and food in front of her, taking another chair. He would have sworn she smirked when he winced from sitting.
Enna shot Hark a look that clearly said she was right about something, and Hark rolled his eyes. Both of them grabbed chairs and sat around the table. Tenet offered them food and water.
Scarab scoffed. “Since when have you been in control of my food and water?”
Tenet scoffed right back. “Since your manners seemed to have gone with your concussion!”
Scarab was embarrassed, which only fueled her anger. “You didn't even give me a chance! Just hopped up and got into my sack as if it was your own!”
Tenet was getting annoyed himself. “Well pardon me for not asking your permission to get into our food supply and offering a small token to the people who saved both of our asses!”
Hark and Enna watched the exchange back and forth in silence, their heads turning from side to side to follow the argument.
“That's not the point! I don't mind if they get into there and take it all! They know that. They're my friends. They don't have to ask.”
Tenet threw his hands in the air. “Here we go. I'm just a paycheck blah blah. Look, lady, in case you didn't figure it out, I had no choice but to get in that bag. Life or death, sister. I'll replace the friggin' lock if that's the problem.”
“Sister?” Scarab squeaked. “Excuse me, Mr. Know -it-all-high-and-mighty, but the only reason you 'had' to 'save our asses' was because you screwed up in the first place!”
Tenet stood up and leaned across the table. “Don't give me that. You didn't have to take that bounty.”
“And you could have stayed nice and safe in your pampered life where everyone caters to your wants and needs. But nooo. Not the great and mighty Tenet Bradwin, IV. You had to piss it all away to prove what a big man you are!”
Hark sucked in air through his teeth. “Hey, now, Scarab...”
Tenet was getting good and mad. “Oh yeah? Is that what you think?”
“No. That's what I know! You had it all and you pissed it away. Now you actually want me to feel bad for you that things went south?”
“I never asked you to feel bad for me. Not once.”
Scarab threw her head back and let out a bitter laugh. “Oh really? Now who's making things up? Funny, but I seem to remember a certain spoiled little brat who lay helpless because of a silly little rock.”
Enna's eyes went wide. Though she didn't know the story behind that one, she could tell by the look on Tenet's face that whatever it was shouldn't have been told. “Alright, kids. I think...”
“Fine," Tenet conceded. "Point taken. I was a spoiled rotten little brat. But this spoiled rotten little brat happened to keep you alive. I carried you on my back through the desert for seven straight hours. And let me tell you, honey....you're no lightweight!”
Scarab's eyes burned with rage. “Honey? Honey!? You don't get to call me honey. You never get to call me honey! No one ever, ever gets to call me honey!”
Tenet stared at her, the wind knocked out of his sails by the level of her anger. She sat there breathing hard, truly enraged...at “honey”. Tenet suddenly felt tired and for some reason, overwhelmingly sad for her and the life she must have lead to have that kind of outraged panicked reaction to a small, casual term of affection. “Fine. I'm sorry. I...I didn't mean anything by it.”
Scarab took a deep calming breath herself and tried to regain her composure. “Look. I appreciate what you did for us...for me.” She had to choose her words carefully. “But the fact remains that I am a hunter and you are my bounty.”
Tenet took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “Yep. I'm your bounty. You caught me fair and square. And you're going to bring me back to my 'pampered life' with my 'perfect father' who wants me dead.”
Scarab's eyes went wide and she looked to Enna. Enna couldn't do it, so it was Hark who fessed up. “Uh, about that. We kinda figgered you'd told the boy...”
Scarab let it go. True, they had no right telling her bounty about the terms of consignment. But could she really say anything to the people who just saved her sorry ass? She looked away from the squirming man and tried to get Tenet to look her in the eyes. “I'm bringing you back alive, Tenet. That was the plan all along.”
Tenet looked at her, and he suddenly looked years older. “Doesn't matter, does it?”
“Well of course it matters,” she said quickly. “Otherwise I would have shot you a long time ago.”
Tenet looked up at her then and sighed a heavy sigh. “Maybe you should have.” He turned and walked away, closing the door very softly to seal himself in the little bathroom.
The three remaining at the table were silent. Scarab didn't know what to say. She had let the fight go too far, taken it too deep. And for what? Because she was offended at his feelings? Because he got a little too close? Because of her own wounded pride?
Hark cleared his throat. “Enna there. She's got a notion that you've taken a likin' to that young man.”
Scarab's eyes flew to his. “He's a bounty.”
Enna said quietly, “I've never known you to argue with a bounty before, dear.”
Scarab shook her head. “He's a bounty,” she repeated. “That's all. We've been in a couple tough spots, and I suppose that would make us a little...different...”
Hark nodded. “Makes sense.”
Enna clucked her tongue. “Sounds hollow to me. Seems to me tough spots or not, you've always been able to keep it a little more separate.”
Scarab looked at Enna with hurt in her eyes. “Are you taking his side?”
“I'm doing nothing more than trying to get you to be honest, if only to yourself.”
Scarab opened her mouth, but closed it again. There was nothing to say, no argument that Enna would believe. Enna gently pushed the food and water towards her. “Eat. We'll be leaving soon.”
Hark took his cue to round up Tenet and get the vehicle in order for their night long journey. Scarab tried to choke down the food when Tenet passed by, but found she couldn't even swallow. This was ridiculous. So what if she hurt him? She said what had to be said, and she wouldn't feel guilty about it. It wasn't her fault if he couldn't be realistic.
“You know, dear,” said Enna quietly so the men wouldn't hear. “It's not the worst thing in the world.”
“He's a bounty,” said Scarab miserably.
“I know. A paycheck.”
Scarab n
odded and suddenly felt like crying. “I...I'm slipping, Enna.”
Enna gave her a soft smile. “No, you're not.
“Yes,” she said bitterly. “On every level. Look where we are! I couldn't even get one stupid kid back to his family.”
Enna put her hand on Scarab's arm. “Now that's about enough of that kind of talk! No one knew what this season would be like. No one. It wasn't in one damned report, not even the migratories. You can't fault yourself for being a victim of nature any more than you can control it. Sometimes, Scarab, there are things in this world that no matter how tough you are you just can't control. I know that's a bitter thought in your stubborn head. But the bitter taste it leaves doesn't make it any less true. You didn't fail. Whoever wrote those damned reports failed, and they failed us all. We've lost seven. Seven already, Scarab, and you would have been eight if it weren't for that poor kid who's more than half in love with you.” Enna held her hand up to stop the argument she knew was on the tip of Scarab's tongue. “I said it and I meant it. That boy's sick with it, even though I get the feeling he doesn't even have a clue just yet. And if you weren't being such a stubborn jackass, you'd have seen it a long time ago." She gave a curt nod to emphasize her point.
"And just what the hell's so bad about that anyway?" she rushed ahead, cutting off any argument from Scarab. "Whether you like it or not, everybody in this world deserves to be loved. And that includes you!”
The words both stung and stunned Scarab. Never in all the years they knew each other had Enna spoken to her with such blunt honesty. If Scarab hadn't heard it for herself, she wouldn't have thought Enna possessed either the insight nor the guts to say something so bold to her. “I...I don't know what to say.”
“Don't say anything. Just think about it. I've never asked your background. It's part of the code I respect to the core. I've never asked, and you've never said, and that's just fine. But you're carrying around some serious and ridiculous notions about yourself that I think it's high time you stop and have a good look at. Whatever you're looking for...it's not here. It's not in the deserts of Summer or the tundras of Winter. It won't be found huddled alone in a different barn every night, and it certainly won't be found if the only person you have for company is yourself.” Enna took a deep breath. “I'm not criticizing. It took a long time to find my reason for living this life, and god knows you're probably too young just yet to figure it out. But you don't have to know why you want this life. Just why you don't want the other.”
Scarab looked away and fidgeted in her chair, half of her squirming with discomfort at such a personal conversation, the other half wondering what was wrong with her for feeling it. She idly picked up her food and chewed, washing it down with water out of habit more than an honest desire to eat. She'd never been able to get close to people. Scarab truly thought of Enna as the only person in her life she was close with, but if she were honest about it, she'd have to guess that Enna never knew. Words beyond idle chit chat never felt safe, never felt natural. From her mouth, they always sounded forced and trite.
This out-of-the-blue conversation was the deepest and most insightful they'd ever shared. How many times had they stayed together at base camp? How many mid season vacations did they take as a group? As hard as Scarab tried, she couldn't recall one personal thing she ever told Enna. But, she wanted to. She always had. She never had anyone in which to confide those things that sometimes really need to be said. She had them, every one, bottled up in side and the little voice she spent her life trying to ignore urged her to take a chance and open up.
She watched Tenet hand tools to Hark. “He really carried me for seven hours?” she said out of the blue.
Enna was unfazed by the shift in conversation. “At least that, judging from the time line we worked out.”
“All by himself?”
“Yep.”
“Was he injured?”
Enna nodded. “By a wraith.”
Scarab sighed and put her head in her hands, imagining the horror he must have gone through, the terror. How many times had she felt that herself out there? Hunted at every step, burdened by the safety of another. “He's my bounty,” she said again, even more miserably than before. “I...I've got no choice. I took the contract, and the best I can do is bring him in alive. I can't renege on a contract. That would be my head and his.”
Enna nodded slowly. “Yep. Looks like a real mess. So what are you going to do? The legal thing? Or the right one?”
Scarab had never before questioned a bounty. It was what it was; a job. She got paid to find people, and that was what she did. It didn't matter why someone wanted them found. It didn't matter what they'd face when they were dragged back. Criminal, stupid kids with blown up egos, or forgottens. She found them, she got paid and she moved on. This contract hadn't set right with her from the start, and had hounded her every step of the way, a feeling of unease that only grew the more she got to know Tenet. “I just don't know.”
“You've never questioned a bounty before.”
Scarab shrugged. “I told you I'm slipping.”
Enna patted her arm again, and for once, Scarab didn't even try and pull away. “Maybe you're just growing up.”
“It's not right!” Scarab slammed her hand on the table, the frustrations of this particular bounty that had mounted over time spilling out all at once. “It's just not right, Enna. What kind of father does that? And that's the man who's in charge of us? Hell yes this is a mighty fine mess...and I'm screwed no matter what I do.”
“There's a way out of this...”
But Scarab had been thinking very hard about it. All the days of silent brooding had been spent trying to come up with a plan that ended well for both of them. Try as she might, she couldn't think of an acceptable solution. It made the hopeless feeling threaten to swallow her up. “I never should have gotten you involved.”
Enna shook her head. “Oh no, none of that. I would have killed you myself if I found out you were in a jam and didn't ask for our help." She patted her young friend's arm. "We'll figure something out. We always do. There's got to be a way through this.”
“I'd like to believe you, Enna. Trust me, I really would. But think about it for a minute. Tenet's screwed, no matter what happens. I take him home to his father...there's an incentive for bringing him back dead. Dead! A father wants his son dead. And it's not even like Tenet's a criminal. I might be able to understand a father who has, say, a thief for a son not wanting him around anymore. Hell, I've met some royal pains in the ass, and even those...it wouldn't be right, but at least there'd be something that made sense.” She stopped and shook her head, running her hand through her hair. “But I've done the research. On every level, this guy's a good guy. A little whiny, at least at first. And he's certainly got a pretty naïve outlook of the way things really are. But there's nothing, nothing at all, in his past or in his person that a father wouldn't want.”
And it was Tenet that was naïve? Enna smiled sadly. “Hon, he embarrassed his father.”
“So what? That's what kids do!”
“Think about it this way. You're the kid of the highest ruler in the world, and you break the law. You break THE law, the biggest and most important law there is. His father's career might very well be ruined...”
Scarab scoffed. “Oh, for heaven's sake. He didn't kill anyone...”
“Doesn't matter. The public will be screaming for his father to make an example out of him, to prove that no one is above the law.”
Scarab knew it, but hearing someone echo her thoughts made it more real than ever before. It was sickening. Disgusting. Absolutely appalling. And she put herself smack dab in the middle. “What do you think his loyal subjects would say if they knew the whole story?”
Enna's eyes went wide. “Oh no. No, no.”
Scarab almost regretted even saying it. The number one unbreakable code in the Bounty Hunter League was privacy, on every level. Hunters would gather and tell abstract tales of their adventures and mi
ssteps in the course of a bounty, but only to each other. The public at large was never, under any circumstances, to be told of a bounty. It wasn't right, it wasn't fair...the potential damage that could be brought about by that kind of sensitive information could crush a family if it became known. Even the most lowly of hunters respected that rule, if nothing else. To even suggest taking such sensitive information public..
“You would be done,” said Enna quietly.
Scarab snorted a bitter laugh. “I'm going to be anyway. You think someone who'd be willing to kill his own child wants any chance that it would leak out into the public? At least talking first would be going down swinging."
Enna's breath hitched in her chest. “Oh, Scarab. Do you know what you're suggesting?”
Scarab knew exactly what she was suggesting. And she fully believed it. She looked at Enna's pale face. “That's enough of this,” she said suddenly. “We're still a ways off...I'll think of something.” She stood and stretched, then looked around. “Let's get this place in order and head out.”
Enna felt the fear and dread all the way to the pit of her stomach, but could think of nothing else to say. In the end she watched her brave young friend for a minute before pulling herself together and joining her in the cleanup. Sometimes there really was nothing anyone could really say.