“His outer appearance has little to do with what is on the inside,” Elizabeth replied. “You will notice that as you age.”
Kitty grinned. “You are not that much older than I am, sister dear.”
“Perhaps not,” Elizabeth responded, “but you are not as observant as I am.”
Jane nodded. “She is right, Lydia. You must admit that.”
“You are observant, Lizzie,” Lydia said. “You are always the first one to tell us what you think of someone else.”
Elizabeth frowned. “It sounds as if you are saying I am judging someone without allowing them a chance to prove themselves.”
Lydia raised her eyebrows and shrugged. “Perhaps you are.”
“Did you not hear what Mr. Darcy said, Lydia?” Mary put in. “It was rude. He was the first to judge someone.”
“I had a suspicion of him at first,” Elizabeth said. “And he proved to be who I thought he would be without any help from me.”
“You should not be able to judge someone before you meet them, and then justify it later,” Lydia insisted.
Elizabeth frowned. “You are being unreasonable, Lydia. It is not as though I was not polite to him when we met. I was appalled by what I heard. Mr. Bingley certainly did not treat our dear Jane that way.” Elizabeth smiled at Jane, who blushed when she looked up from her sewing and saw that all of her sisters were grinning at her.
“Yes, I noticed you danced with him several times, Jane,” Kitty said. “And you had a smile on your face the entire time. He makes you happy?”
“I am happy with him, yes. I do hope it continues and he calls on me soon.”
“Surely he will!” Lydia cried, her mood lifting back to where it normally was when she wasn’t bickering with her sisters. “His smile was so genuine. It reached his eyes.”
Elizabeth was impressed that Lydia had noticed that. She was about to say something, when there was a slight knock at the door and it opened. Elizabeth’s heart fell when she saw Mr. Collins come through the door, a large smile on his face. She felt ill immediately and had to draw in a deep breath, dropping her eyes to the embroidery in her hands.
Her sisters stood up to greet the man, curtseying as he bowed to them all at once. “Greetings, Bennet ladies. It is my pleasure to be at Longbourn today and to be in your presence. I trust all are well?”
“Yes, Mr. Collins, thank you,” Jane responded. “And how are you feeling?”
“I am well, though I have been suffering some from a slight cough and a warm feeling, which my Lady de Bourgh dismisses as something in the air.” He waved his hand about flamboyantly to represent his opinion of the lady’s summary of his health. In general, he had high respect for the lady, as she was his patroness and he was very proud of that fact. He made sure to mention it whenever he met anyone for the first time.
As Elizabeth feared Mr. Collins made for her right away, bowing in front of her. She set the sewing aside and stood as her sisters had already done, making no excuse for why she hadn’t stood immediately upon his entering the room. He held out his hand for hers and she gave it to him. He kissed the top and looked up at her, still bent in half, saying, “May I have the pleasure of your company on a walk along the grounds?”
Feeling as though she wanted to scream “No!” in his face, but knowing she couldn’t, Elizabeth swallowed and reluctantly nodded. “That sounds lovely,” she said weakly. She looked at Jane with a pleading look, but Jane looked helpless. Her other sisters stared in stunned observation, watching as Elizabeth left the room, following Mr. Collins. She knew they would be whispering about it until they were out of earshot. She could only wonder what they would be saying. She pictured Jane spilling all the information she knew about the possible upcoming marriage, which wasn’t very much, truth be told.
Elizabeth felt slightly sick when Mr. Collins took her arm and forced it through his, so they could walk down the steps and onto the grass of the fields around Longbourn.
“Have your parents spoken to you about me, Miss Elizabeth?” he said. Her heart pounded hard in her chest and she felt a bit faint.
“No, I have heard nothing from my parents about you, Mr. Collins,” she replied as pleasantly as she could. She wished she had brought her parasol. The sun was beating down on her head in a hostile way.
“I have been corresponding with your father and mother for several months on the topic of ownership of the house. As you know, it will become mine upon your father’s death.”
Elizabeth was annoyed. He spoke of it so casually, as if it was an inevitable event.
It is an inevitable event, she chided herself silently. But he didn’t have to make it sound as if it was going to happen any day now.
“I am aware.”
Mr. Collins reacted with surprise. “Oh?”
She looked up at him. “Yes, Mr. Collins. My parents have discussed this issue with me and my sisters frequently. They do not keep us in the dark about events that may affect us all.”
“We have recently discussed the topic of marriage, as I am keen to marry as soon as possible.”
She tried not to frown. “Why are you in a great hurry, may I ask?”
He sighed. “Unfortunately, I am not getting any younger. Lady de Bourgh feels it would be prudent for me to marry before I am past the age of desire.”
Elizabeth bit her tongue. In her mind, he was already past the age of desire. It was not necessarily just her opinion. Her sisters did not seem zealous about marrying Mr. Collins. None of them wanted to be the sacrificial lamb.
“I have asked your parents to consider allowing you to be my bride, after a courtship, of course. I would like your opinion on this arrangement.”
Elizabeth wished she already had a suitor vying for her hand, so she could tell Mr. Collins there was no possible way she would ever willingly marry him. She said nothing, and could almost feel his tension growing.
“I…” she started, but her mind was jumbled with words she wanted to say battling words she ought to say. She ought to say she was grateful and would love to be his bride. She wanted to say there was little chance she would ever have the sort of love for him that she wanted to have with a husband. She sought the right words and continued, “I will need to speak with my parents about this. I was not under the impression there was anything to gain by marrying me.”
“We will work out an arrangement, so that the house will remain with your family if you and I are married,” Mr. Collins said simply, his tone of voice giving the impression he was speaking to a child. Further irritated, Elizabeth couldn’t keep herself from frowning. “I will provide for you, Elizabeth, and your family will keep their home. You will not want for anything. I give you that promise.”
Elizabeth bit her lip. “It is not the physical comforts I crave, Mr. Collins.” She tried to keep her voice as gentle as possible. “It is emotional comforts I seek. I wish to be in love with the man I marry.”
“There is a possibility you will learn to love me.” Mr. Collins’ voice was tense. Elizabeth’s heart pounded in anticipation of an argument. She didn’t want to send him away angry, but she couldn’t simply agree to something she wasn’t willing to do when it concerned the rest of her life. And possibly children.
The thought made her shudder.
Mr. Collins didn’t seem to notice her apprehension. He was focused on the landscape in front of them, though Elizabeth doubted he was seeing what he was looking at. He was deep inside his mind, thinking angry thoughts.
“I…” She hesitated. “I need to speak with my parents. Please do give me that opportunity before you become angry with me.”
He seemed to relax a bit, which relieved her. He breathed deeply and nodded, saying, “All right, Miss Elizabeth; yes, of course you should.”
He spun around abruptly, and they walked back toward the house in silence.
Chapter 6
Elizabeth wasn’t particularly looking forward to the ball at Netherfield. Mr. Darcy would be there, and the thought of
being around him made her uncomfortable. She had yet to get the thought of her conversation with Mr. Collins out of her mind, even though it had been a week ago.
Her sisters were excited, talking about some of the officers who would be at the ball and how they were sure to dance with them. Elizabeth only half-listened to the chattering as they rode in the coach along a winding road. She’d worn her favorite dress and fixed her hair just the way she liked it. But it was all for naught. It appeared her life was already planned out for her. And what a sad one it would be.
Elizabeth tried not to dwell on her thoughts; she barely went a few moments without thinking about Mr. Collins and what her life would be like married to him, living in the parsonage. She pulled in a deep breath and let it out as quietly as she could.
Lydia heard her and gave her a quizzical look. “Is something troubling you, Lizzie?”
Elizabeth’s eyes swiveled to gaze at her sister. “There is, yes.” She wasn’t too keen on telling her little sisters the plan their father had for her, because she knew they would realize if it wasn’t her it would be one of them. Jane knew about it, of course, and Elizabeth was unsure whether Mary was privy to the information. Jane had not offered herself as a sacrificial lamb, and Elizabeth knew none of her other sisters would either.
“You must tell us what is on your mind before you get to the ball,” Lydia said. “You have the face of someone who just lost the most precious thing in the world to them.”
Several words flew through Elizabeth’s mind: freedom… independence… happiness. She supposed those would qualify as precious things. “In a way, I have,” she said in a low voice, turning to look through the window at the passing scenery. The darkening sky would soon be black, and lanterns would be lit all around to light the way.
Kitty leaned forward, a look of concern on her face. “What has happened, Lizzie? You must tell us.”
Elizabeth hesitated, turning to look at Jane. Jane just blinked her eyes, a sympathetic look on her face. “Mum and Papa are considering arranging a marriage between me and Mr. Collins.” She stopped, letting those words sink in. Lydia and Kitty’s eyes widened and they looked at each other. Mary just looked sad.
Lydia shook her head. “I do not think you will be very happy with him, Lizzie. I truly do not.”
Elizabeth nodded. “Those were my thoughts, as well.”
“What are you going to do?” Kitty asked.
Elizabeth shrugged. “What can I do? If it is what is arranged I must follow through, mustn’t I? I would not dishonor the family. Though I am tempted to. I find Mr. Collins to be… an amiable but quite arrogant man. I do not find him attractive. I would not want to be his wife, if it were up to me.”
“Perhaps you will find a more appropriate suitor at a ball before the arrangement can be made,” Kitty supplied in a helpful voice.
The idea stuck with Elizabeth, and she was suddenly glad she had dressed in her finest today. The look of satisfaction on her little sister’s face was obvious. She could see that Elizabeth was considering that option.
“But who will be there that we do not already know?” Lydia asked. “Surely you cannot consider Mr. Darcy. And I do believe our Jane has her eye on Mr. Bingley.”
Jane blushed and smiled.
“I do not know who it could be,” Elizabeth replied in a determined voice. “All I know is that I will be pursuing that option.”
“You will feel like Mother is parading you around again like she enjoys doing,” Lydia laughed.
Elizabeth smiled. “Yes, I will.”
* * *
Scanning the ballroom, Elizabeth could see many young men she had danced with in the past. She stood to the side with a smile, knowing it would brighten her mood and attract people toward her. Friends gathered around her and her sisters, and several young men invited her to dance with them.
After a particularly spirited dance, Elizabeth dropped into a chair up against the wall, exhausted. She wanted to lie back and relax in the chair, but it wouldn’t be proper, so she kept her spine stiff and waved her fan in her face to cool off. It was a nice night, and the breeze coming from the open windows made her feel better.
It was with great surprise that she watched Mr. Darcy cross the room in her direction and then take a seat next to her. She tried not to look at him but glanced several times to the side, seeing him in her peripheral vision. He was looking at her.
After a few moments, she looked over at him, forcing a smile onto her face.
“Hello, Mr. Darcy; are you enjoying the ball?”
Darcy looked out over the throng of people with a look of satisfaction. “I am, Miss Elizabeth. I do believe I am. I must tell you, it has been a very long time since I have enjoyed myself as much as I am this evening.”
Elizabeth turned to look at him. “Oh? And what has made this evening so special?”
As he answered, he gazed at her directly. She felt as though he were peering into her soul. “Nothing in particular. I have danced with several young ladies who proved to be talented dancers and intelligent women who can hold a decent conversation. It is rare to find such a woman.”
“Perhaps you do not give them a chance to prove themselves before you have already judged them.” Elizabeth regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth. It was not her place to tell this gentleman how to behave. Embarrassed, she turned away with darkened cheeks. She was surprised to hear Darcy chuckling behind her.
Her eyes darted back to him. His laughter was genuine and he was still looking at her.
“Why do you scoff, sir?” Elizabeth asked, frowning.
He shook his head. “I have done something to offend you, Miss Bennet. Allow me to apologize for whatever it was. ’Tis true that many people do not want to hear what I have to say. I have a tendency to be quite blunt.”
“There is a difference between being blunt and being rude,” Elizabeth replied, keeping her voice at an even keel. She would be as democratic as she could be. She wasn’t going to give him a chance to make her feel lowly and plain.
“You are looking lovely this evening,” Darcy said, sitting forward, moving his eyes from her wavy hair over her dress. He nodded in approval. “Quite lovely.”
“I am glad I meet your expectations, Mr. Darcy.” Elizabeth was embarrassed again. She was also confused. He was making her feel strange inside. She wondered if there could possibly be another side to this man, one she hadn’t previously seen.
“On that level,” he said, ruining her positive thoughts, “you do.”
Elizabeth tried to bite her tongue. She didn’t want to say what she was thinking. Her status in society wasn’t as prominent as he liked. He wasn’t interested in anyone poor or plain. She reminded herself of these things, but they only served to upset her more.
“Would you care to dance, Miss Bennet?”
She raised her eyebrows. “You would like to dance with me?”
He snickered. “Yes. I would like to dance with you.”
“Why would you want to dance with me, Mr. Darcy? You clearly do not believe I am of quality background and status.”
He blinked a few times, realizing she must have inadvertently heard his words at the previous get-together. He held out his hand. “The music will begin soon. Perhaps you will allow me the opportunity to change your mind about me.”
She was still confused as to why he would want to dance with her at all. She’d seen him with some of the finer ladies attending. She began to think he had taken a bet and was being forced to dance with her.
With those thoughts, she convinced herself to dance with him. It would probably be quite interesting, hearing what he had to say about the other women he’d danced with. She nodded.
“All right, Mr. Darcy. I will dance with you.”
“It will also give me an opportunity to get to know you better,”
She slid her hand into his and he led her out onto the dancefloor. There were other couples who began dancing at the same time when the music s
tarted. Darcy spun her around the floor, lifting her off her small feet several times. She had to admit he was a brilliant dancer. She enjoyed his lead.
When the dance settled down to a two-step, she looked up at him. His eyes were closed. She blinked, wondering why his eyes were closed while he was dancing.
He opened them and looked down at her. He grinned. “You caught me.”
“What did I catch you doing?” Elizabeth asked, almost wanting to laugh. His grin was spontaneous and sincere. “You weren’t falling asleep in the middle of a dance, were you? If so, I suggest you consult a physician immediately. You could hurt yourself or someone else.”
Darcy threw back his head and laughed. “You have a keen sense of humor, Miss Bennet. No, I was not falling asleep. I was merely enjoying the music.”
Elizabeth watched him as they danced. He said nothing, but his firm grip around her made her feel safer than she had felt in all her life.
Chapter 7
When the dance was finished he led her back to the seat he’d taken her from, bowed, and retreated into the crowd after saying softly, “Thank you for the dance, Miss Bennet.”
She watched him as he left, feeling bewildered. After what he had said about her and her family, why had he been so courteous to her? He wasn’t what she expected. His behavior confused her.
Soon, she was surrounded by friends. Charlotte took the chair Darcy had been in, while Jane, Mary, and several others stood around them in a semi-circle. They were talking animatedly with each other, obviously having enjoyed the ball up to that point. Charlotte’s face was flushed and she was waving her fan at herself, looking at Elizabeth with a large smile on her face.
“My dear girl, are you feeling all right? You look strange.”
Elizabeth gazed at her. “I look strange? What do you mean?”
“You look like someone pulled a rug out from under your feet. Are you enjoying yourself tonight?”
“I am,” Elizabeth nodded. “But I have just had the oddest experience.”
A Convenient Darcy Marriage Page 3