He stopped and looked at her. “I would have made sure you were open to such an arrangement before any details were discussed. As I remember, all of Society thought there would be a match between you and Talbot. Even your brothers seemed certain of it.”
“Well, they were wrong.”
“May I ask what happened?”
“That was a long time ago. I’ve forgotten.”
Culbertson arched his brows. “Have you?”
Lydia saw the open question on his face. He deserved an explanation. “Anything that might have existed between Captain Talbot and myself was finished the day he left.”
“Talbot’s a major now. Did you know?”
Her heart tripped. “If I did, I’d forgotten. Thankfully, my father saw Major Talbot’s true nature and exposed him. I’m grateful to have escaped marriage to him before it was too late.”
Culbertson clasped his hands behind his back. “Then I see no reason to avoid pursuing our relationship. My father is quite insistent upon a match between us, and I certainly have no objection. You are beautiful beyond measure and you come from a very prestigious family. Your brother, Lord Etherington, has a reputation for being an astute man of commerce with a keen intelligence. The improvements he’s made to the Landwell holdings in the last year are remarkable.”
Lydia realized she hadn’t paid the slightest attention to the condition of their estates. Before her father’s accident, she’d thought they might be in financial difficulties, but since money was never a topic that was discussed, she had no way of actually knowing.
“And your younger brother,” Culbertson continued, “is already a captain in Her Majesty’s Army. He’s received acclaims too numerous to mention. Is it any wonder, then, that only the bravest of men would dare to compete for the sister of not one, but two brothers with such remarkable attributes? Not to mention the fact that your name was closely linked with Major Gabriel Talbot. The standards he set are quite daunting.”
“I wouldn’t know,” Lydia interrupted with a little more sarcasm than necessary.
She didn’t want to hear of Gabriel’s bravery, or his accomplishments. She didn’t want to hear anything that would remind her of him. She only wanted to get on with her life. A life that would never include him again.
“You haven’t heard the tales of his heroism?”
“I’m hardly interested in anything Major Talbot does.” She lifted her gaze and stared at Culbertson. “You sound as if you’re intimidated by the major. You needn’t be.”
“I’m not intimidated. Perhaps a little in awe, though.”
“In awe?”
“Who wouldn’t be?” He sat down beside her again. “The major is already rumored to have saved hundreds of lives. His valor on the battlefield is renowned, as if he defies death with the risks he takes. Who wouldn’t wish to be half so brave?”
“Then you wish to be part of the military?”
He sighed. “Taking a post in the military was never an option for me. I’m the only son of the Duke of Chisolmwood. I can hardly risk getting killed and allowing the Chisolmwood title to pass down to a distant cousin now, can I?”
“No, I imagine not. But if what I’ve heard is correct, you’ve contributed more than most titled nobility where foreign affairs are concerned.”
“Oh, really? Just what have you heard?”
“Nothing much.” She noted his reaction, one of surprise. For some reason it puzzled her. Maybe because she expected a denial and didn’t receive one. “Just that you are included in many of the meetings where our military objectives are discussed.”
Culbertson laughed. “Oh, that. Yes, well, I’ve found that rank has its privileges when it comes to being included in military strategies. I’ve always been fascinated with the military, and being the son of the Duke of Chisolmwood allows me to satisfy my fetish. Luckily, I’ve found if I sit quietly and offer no examples of my ignorance, those in command allow me to stay.” He looked at her and smiled. “I always remain the silent observer, I assure you.”
“You make the role you play sound very insignificant.”
“Oh, I promise you, I play no role. Neither Lord Fenton nor Lord Rediger of Her Majesty’s Foreign Service would put much credence in anything I might be foolhardy enough to offer. They tolerate my intrusion because my father is one of the military’s largest supporters. It’s all about money, my dear. Everything is, you know.”
Lydia studied the serious expression on Culbertson’s face. The marquess was much more complicated than she’d imagined. But he was right in one thing. Everything was about money. Wasn’t that the reason Gabe had wanted her? Because of the dowry she would bring with her?
Wasn’t the lack of it the reason he’d given her up?
At least money wasn’t the reason the Marquess of Culbertson wanted her. Everyone knew his father was one of the richest men in England.
Lydia smiled. Perhaps Culbertson was the perfect match for her.
“I intend to take a carriage ride through Hyde Park tomorrow afternoon,” he said, taking her hand. “Perhaps around five o’clock. It would be my pleasure to have you accompany me if you aren’t otherwise engaged.”
His eyes gleamed with a keen intelligence she admired and his mouth lifted slightly.
Lydia waited to feel the surge of warmth that had always engulfed her when Gabriel touched her. It didn’t happen.
She paused.
What did that matter? This was the man her father had chosen for her. The man to whom Gabriel had gladly given her over. As she pondered his invitation, she realized that even though she didn’t experience a stirring warmth when he touched her, neither did she find him unappealing.
“I’d be delighted,” she said, knowing she’d just taken the first step in showing Society that she’d accepted Culbertson’s declarations.
“Very good.” Culbertson rose and held out his arm to help her to her feet. “The air has a definite chill to it. We’d best go inside before our absence is noticed.”
“Of course.”
She placed her hand on Culbertson’s arm and walked back into the crowded ballroom. So what did it matter if her fingers didn’t tingle when she touched him? So what if a shiver of expectancy didn’t race down her spine when he looked at her? So what if her blood didn’t thunder in her head when he held her? There was more than love to any marriage.
Everyone knew that.
…
“Lydia.”
She turned from a group of friends with whom she’d been conversing to see her brother walk toward her. It was impossible not to notice the anxious expression on his face.
“What is it, Harrison? Is something wrong?”
“I have to leave. I just received a message from Austin. He’s home. Here in London.”
Lydia clamped her hand over her mouth to stifle her cry of elation. “Austin’s home?”
“Yes. I’m leaving immediately, but you can stay if you’d like. Lady Henshaw said she would see you home.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Lydia placed her hand on Harrison’s arm. “How could you think I would want to stay?”
Her brother laughed as he escorted her to the door. “I can’t wait to tell Austin his arrival caused his sister to cut short her first ball in more than a year.”
She ignored his teasing remark and kept pace with him as they walked up the stairs of the ballroom. They said their farewells to the Duke and Duchess of Puttingsworth, then made their way to the foyer.
“Did you know Austin was coming?” she asked while they waited for their carriage to be brought round. “I thought he couldn’t come for months yet. Do you think something’s wrong?”
Harrison smiled. “Austin always said you were the most curious female he knew.”
Lydia stepped up into their carriage when it arrived, but she couldn’t erase the unease. “You haven’t answered my question. What do you think it means that he arrived so unexpectedly?”
“That they transported him on the fi
rst available ship and he didn’t have time to write us.”
Lydia turned to look out the window as they made their way down the quiet London streets. “Or that he wasn’t able to write us.”
“Don’t borrow trouble, Liddy. We’ll find out soon enough. We’re almost home.”
When the carriage came to a halt in front of Etherhouse, Harrison dismounted before the groom had the carriage step in place. He helped her to the ground and they both raced through the door the butler held open for them.
“Captain Landwell is upstairs,” Ruskins said as he took their cloaks.
Lydia raced across the foyer and looked up. Her breath caught. “Austin?”
Austin stood above them, his hair mussed and his clothing still dirty and wrinkled from weeks of travel. But he was whole and healthy, with all four limbs intact. He leaned against the balcony railing as if he needed support, then pushed himself away and staggered before taking his first step.
She ran up the stairs and into his arms.
“Austin!” she cried, touching his stubbled face and mussed hair. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.”
His voice was little more than a whisper and he pulled her to him again and held her so tightly she could barely catch her breath.
“Oh, Liddy. I didn’t think we’d ever get here.”
“But you did. You’re home now.”
When he finally released her, she looked into his face. There was a dark, hollow emptiness in his gaze, nothing that even resembled the laughter in his eyes that had twinkled with mischief and merriment before he’d gone to war.
Huge black circles rimmed his eyes, bespeaking long, agonizing days with little sleep and a weariness that went bone deep. He looked as if he was ready to collapse.
He tenderly touched her cheek, then looked over her shoulder to where Harrison stood.
“Welcome home, Austin.”
Tears filled her eyes when her two brothers embraced. After several moments, they stepped apart. They both swiped their hands across their faces to erase the dampness on their cheeks.
“I’m sorry I didn’t let you know I was coming, but there wasn’t time.”
“It doesn’t matter. You’re here. That’s all that’s important.”
“I didn’t come alone. I brought...”
Austin’s words halted, then he shifted his gaze to where she stood. A knot tightened inside her stomach.
“I brought...Gabe.”
Her heart lurched in her chest and she looked over her shoulder to the empty hallway as if she expected Gabriel to be there. “Where is he?”
“He’s in the guest room. The one next to my room. Matthias is with him.”
“Matthias?”
She looked toward the room where Gabriel was. Matthias was one of the Earl of Etherington’s most trusted servants and had been with them for years. Everyone knew he was better at healing than most doctors. “Why did you bring him here? You should have taken him—”
“He’s hurt, Liddy. I don’t think he’ll…”
Austin looked to the ceiling as if he couldn’t finish his thought. “The doctor wanted to take off his leg but I wouldn’t let him.”
She placed her hand over the railing and squeezed until her fingers ached.
Gabriel was hurt. Austin didn’t think he’d live.
Blood roared inside her head and thundered against her ears. With waning strength, she pushed herself away from the railing and moved toward the room where he was.
“Liddy, don’t.”
Some force she didn’t understand drew her to his room. Even Austin’s warning didn’t stop her. Her heart pounded harder with each step she took, and try as she might, she couldn’t force her legs to halt their journey to his room.
“Liddy, no.” Austin stepped in front of her to stop her. “Don’t go in. Gabe wouldn’t want you to see him like he is.”
She lifted her gaze. She wasn’t sure what she felt, wasn’t sure if the emotion was concern, devastation, fear, or hatred. She wasn’t sure why she needed to see him, wasn’t sure if she was afraid he’d live and she’d have another memory of him to try to forget—or afraid he’d die and she’d have to grieve for him all over again.
She looked beyond Austin to the closed door and knew she still had the choice to walk away—until she heard him.
His muffled cry pierced her soul, the sound of his pain was so agonizing it stole her breath. She tried to ignore his call, tried to turn away from him, but his anguish was so all-consuming it was as if the demons of hell tortured him.
On legs that trembled beneath her, she stepped around Austin and reached for the latch. A part of her feared what she’d see when she pushed open the door. Another part of her needed to know.
Despite Austin’s final warning and his attempt to stop her, she opened the door and stepped inside.
“You shouldn’t be here, my lady,” Matthias said over his shoulder as he worked on the figure lying on the bed.
She ignored the warning and stepped closer. Inch by inch Gabriel’s battered and bruised body came into view.
She wasn’t sure what she expected, but she wasn’t prepared for this. Wasn’t prepared to see the man she’d once loved with all her heart a mere shadow of what he’d once been.
She reacted as if some traitorous force took control of her emotions. The light from the lamps at Gabriel’s bedside revealed his features in a clarity more vivid than she wanted. Her gaze rested on his face, on the part of him that night after night had haunted her dreams.
His eyes remained closed, but even in his unconsciousness she saw the strain of agony in his features. Deep, heavy furrows lined his forehead. His lips were pursed, lips she remembered pressed against hers, lips that were warm and vibrant and intoxicating.
Thin bony fingers of pain and grief reached in and wrenched her heart. The tightness inside her chest gripped until she had to gasp for air.
She hurt for him, ached with a pain so agonizing she wasn’t sure she could survive it. His face was devoid of color, his features gaunt and sallow, so different from the healthy bronzed tone she’d always known. His cheekbones were still high and pronounced, but the flesh beneath them had hollowed to deep, empty pits. The strong, determined jaw she’d always admired was locked tight, as if clenching his teeth was the only way he could keep the screams from escaping.
Another torturous stab of agony twisted her heart.
He shifted, not much, just enough that his movement forced him to release a sound so filled with pain she nearly doubled over. Matthias placed a hand on Gabe’s shoulder to hold him down and he sagged back into the mattress with a soft moan—a moan that stole the warmth from her body.
“Liddy,” he moaned, as if her name was a plea for help.
Her breath caught and she wrapped her arms around her middle to keep from reaching out to him.
No other man would have survived the wounds, or the long, arduous ocean voyage home, but he had. Perhaps only to die on English soil. Perhaps only to torture her with one last painful memory of him.
She looked around the room, her eyes darting from Harrison’s damp eyes, to the tears that streamed unabashedly down Austin’s cheeks, then back to the prone figure on the bed fighting to stay alive. He called out her name again. “Liddy.”
She staggered back as if she’d been struck by a boulder.
“Damn you, no,” a voice whispered, and she realized the voice was hers.
“Damn you,” she said again, then spun away from him and fled the room.
She managed to take three steps before the weight of having him near her again crashed down around her. Every muscle in her body trembled.
She ran from the room as if some threatening peril was after her. She couldn’t care whether he lived or died. If she did, he’d destroy her life a second time.
Chapter Four
The house was finally quiet. Servants no longer raced past her doorway talking in hushed whispers as they carried water, bandages,
and anything else the doctor needed as he worked on Gabe. Even though everything seemed peaceful beyond her four walls, she couldn’t control the feeling of dread inside her.
She pressed back against the corner of the window seat and waited in solemn silence for someone to come to tell her he had died.
Even the doctor predicted he wouldn’t survive the night.
With a deep sigh, she wrapped her arms around her legs and tucked her knees closer to her chest. The logs in the grate were little more than glowing embers, the room taking on a chill she would have loved had she been buried beneath her covers. But she couldn’t sleep. How could she when he’d come back into her life as if there was a place for him. There wasn’t. The only emotion she would ever feel for him again was—nothing.
She huddled closer and held her breath, her ears straining to hear the faint sounds of his pain that the thick oak doors couldn’t muffle completely.
Or the ominous silence of his passing.
An agonizing moan escaped from deep inside her, a cry to ease the pain gnawing at her heart.
She tried to forget the tortured look on his face but she couldn’t. She would always remember the pain written on his features.
She rose to her feet and clutched her hands to her churning stomach. She didn’t care what happened to him; she wouldn’t allow him to be important to her ever again. But if he wasn’t going to survive, she didn’t want him to die alone. And if he was going to survive, she wanted to do everything in her power to ease his suffering.
As if she no longer controlled her own actions, she walked across the room and out the door. Her legs trembled beneath her with each step, and when she finally reached his room, her hands shook as she reached for the doorknob.
The room was dark now with only one lit candle flickering on the table beside his bed. She paused. Heavy breathing and the faint crackle of dying logs in the fireplace assaulted her senses. Gradually, her eyes acclimated to the darkness and she looked around the room.
A large oak armoire stood at an angle in the corner to her right with a small dressing table and mirror close beside it. A marble fireplace took up most of the opposite wall, its low flames a gentle wave of muted light that didn’t quite reach to the center of the room.
Heroes of Honor: Historical Romance Collection Page 58