It was almost sunrise when she opened her eyes once again. She had eventually drifted off, but she did not feel well rested. Quickly, she rose and dressed. Mairghread gathered the few belongings she brought with her and placed them back in her trunk. She would break her fast before the others awoke because it was a certainty that her father would want to be off, insisting upon eating on the road. She knew she would not last that long.
Mairghread stumbled head first over a log blocking her door when she opened it. However, logs did not groan, nor did they move on their own. Through the dim torch light of the passageway, she saw two piercing green eyes staring up at her.
“Tristan? What are ye doing outside of ma door? Ye canna be here. It isnae proper.”
“I couldnae sleep kenning ye might feel unsafe in ma keep. I came to guard yer door, so ye would ken ye’re safe.”
“Thank ye.”
“I listened to ye moving aboot last night. I ken ye didna sleep well. I canna help but feel responsible for that.”
Mairghread blushed knowing he had been close enough to recognize what she did in bed. She looked past him to the stairs. Part of her wanted to make a mad dash for them to escape this conversation, and another part of her never wanted to leave this spot if it meant that they continued standing together.
“Lass, I ken ye and yer kin are aboot to leave, but I hoped ye might walk with me for a spell. I would like to speak with ye aboot something.”
“Vera well. Lead on.” She did not even think twice about following.
Tristan extended his arm to point toward the stairs, but rather than go down to the Great Hall and out to the bailey, he led them up the stairs. Mairghread assumed he would take them to the battlements. He would not be taking her to his chamber, would he?
As they reached the third floor, Mairghread looked down the hallway. She was stunned by what she saw, or rather what she did not see. She turned accusing eyes on Tristan. Her anger radiated off her.
“They’re gone, lass. I didna send their guard away. I sent them away.”
“What do ye mean?”
“I couldnae sleep either. Nae even after more than a dram of whiskey. It bothered me that they remained in ma keep. I kenned it sent a message to all that I ultimately condoned Alan’s behavior even if he and Beatris were under lock and key. I had a score of guardsmen escort them to a vacant croft at the edge of the village. They will have left aboot an hour ago for Beatris’s clan. They can have them back. Neither Alan nor Beatris have any claim to remaining here. I allowed them to stay out of a sense a duty. I realize now that it was a misplaced sense of duty.”
“Ye sent them off in the middle of the night? That seems rather dangerous to them and yer guardsmen.”
“Ma guardsmen are used to travelling in the dark as they have each patrolled ma lands for years. I kenned ye would leave with the sun, and ye will have to travel some of the same route as they will. I didna want to risk ye and yer kin might catch up to them on the trail.”
“Tristan, that was vera kind of ye. I dinna ken what to say.”
They had reached the top of the next flight of narrow stairs that led out to the battlements. While the days were warm since it was summer, the moon provided no such warmth. Tristan regretted not suggesting that Mairghread gather her arisaid. He unfastened the clan broach at his shoulder and released the extra length of plaid.
“I ken it isnae proper, but I dinna want ye to catch a chill while we are up here.” He stood beside her and held out the plaid. Mairghread paused and looked into his eyes. He realized she must have been confident in what she observed because she sidestepped closer to him. He wrapped the plaid around her shoulders and kept his arm around them, too. Unconsciously, she leaned in to his heat. He was warmer than a blazing fire. Her side that touched his quickly warmed up. The contact sent a shiver down her spine. Tristan mistook it as a sign that she was still cold, so he gently pulled her closer to him. She was not about to protest.
“Mairghread, there is something I would like to talk to ye aboot. I still feel exceedingly bad aboot how ma bro—stepbrother treated ye. Ye didna deserve any of it. I dinna want ye to remember this as how all Mackay men treat women.”
She paused and turned to stand in front of him. They stood cocooned within his breacan feile, or great plaid, and his heat warmed her chest. It seemed to seep inside her and spread down to her belly and her lady parts below. His saffron leine was open at the neck, and she noticed his smooth chest beneath it. Her fingers itched to touch the revealed skin. She wondered if it would be as smooth as it looked. As she gazed up, she noticed a lock of his ebony hair had fallen over his eyebrow. It took every last bit of her self-control not to reach up and brush it back off his forehead.
“Tristan, I never considered Alan’s actions were that of all Mackay men. I dinna believe ma da or ma brothers think that either.”
“Even after all that happened yesterday, I canna say I regret that ye came. I do regret I promised ye to ma stepbrother. Promised ye to him rather than to me.”
The arm that had been around her shoulder had at some point slid down to wrap around her waist. He felt her soft intake of air and then her mint scented breath fanned across his face. He struggled to withstand the temptation she created by being so close, but he refused to act in any way that might remind her of Alan.
“I have to admit I dinna want ye to leave here, nae today and nae any day after. I would ask ye to consider something. I’ve been drawn to ye since the moment I laid eyes on ye. I canna seem to stop thinking aboot ye, and I have found maself impressed with ye many times over. Ye have a keen mind and a sharp sense of humor. I have seen ye with ma clan, and many of them have already told me they like ye. That isnae an easy thing to accomplish in so short a time. Ye ken Highlanders arenae often welcoming to outsiders, but a good number have already told me they are glad ye’ve come. They ken ye are kind and warm hearted. I ken it, too. I would ask ye to consider staying on for a bit. I would like to discover if we suit. If ye’re of the opinion that we do, and we agree, then I would ask ye to marry me. I dinna want to miss this opportunity with ye. I reckon ye may be just the right woman for me. I-”
She reached up and placed one soft finger on his lips. She smiled up at him, and his cock twitch. It came alive the moment he wrapped his arm around her and saw his plaid draped over her. Now it was fully awake, and it ached to press against her. Once again, he held himself in check. He would do nothing to jeopardize this moment.
“I’m drawn to ye as well. The idea of marrying Alan but seeing ye every day was unpleasant but kenning that one day ye would marry another was torture. I wasna sure how I would do it. I kept trying to tell maself that I was simply impressed with what a braw mon ye are and that it’s naught but infatuation. But I dinna suppose it is just infatuation.”
“Ye think I’m a braw mon?”
“Is that all ye heard of what I said?” She raised one eyebrow and pursed her lips, but he caught the mirth in her eyes.
“Nay, Mair. I heard all that ye had to say. I dinna consider it’s infatuation on ma part either.” She liked the term of endearment. She had never had one before. Her brothers had several nicknames for her growing up, some of which still stuck, but no one had used her actual name to come up with one.
“Tristan, ye will have to convince ma da to let me stay. I can try, but it must be ye who shows him I will be well treated here. I doubt his anger will have calmed much even now. Ma brothers are another case, too. Even if Da agrees for the sake of the alliance, I dinna ken if ma brothers will ever let Da leave me here.”
“I understand. If I had a daughter or a sister who meant as much to me as ye do to them, I would have committed bluidy murder last night. Neither Alan nor I would have been left standing. Mair, I would ask one last thing of ye before we go below stairs.” He took a noticeable swallowed and a deep breath. “Would ye let me kiss ye? I think that would be a good place to start if we are to figure out if we suit.”
Mairghread ca
ught herself holding her breath. She lifted her chin as she looked up at him. He put his thumb and forefinger on her chin as he lowered his head. Mairghread had a sinking sensation that this was not a wise choice. Not because she did not trust him but because she did not trust herself.
“Wait.”
“What? What do ye mean?”
“I dinna think we should kiss. Nae yet at least.” She hurried to get her explanation out as she watched the surprise turn to hurt in his eyes. “Tristan, I want to kiss ye. I want it rather badly, almost, nay, most definitely, too much. If we kiss and we enjoy it, then it will lead to more kissing. That’s nae an altogether bad thing, but I want to ken if we suit. I dinna doubt we would suit physically. I ken how attracted I am to ye, and I sense ye are at least a wee bit attracted to me. If we kiss, I’m afraid the physical side of our relationship will become too much of the focus. I willna always look like this. One day, I will have bairns. I will gain weight and nae all of it may come off afterwards. Ma hair will grey, and I will get wrinkles. If the only thing that binds us is our physical desire, then what will we do when that fades? I need to ken we have a real foundation for a marriage. Does that make sense to ye?”
“Aye, mo chaileag. It does.”
Mairghread jerked back.
“Tristan, please one thing before ye go on. Alan called me ‘ma sweet,’ and it made ma skin crawl. I dinna ever want someone to call me that or aught close to it again.”
“Vera well, little one. I willna ever call ye that even if one day I find out that is how ye taste. And I will wait to find that out until ye say we are ready. Ye’re wise beyond yer years. I agree that if we are to get to ken one another to determine whether we are right for one another, then kissing and cuddling can come later.” He placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. “That shall have to last me for now. We had better go below stairs. Yer da should be up by now, and I dinna want him tearing ma keep apart looking for ye.”
“Tristan, there is one other thing before this can go any further. I must ken something aboot ye.” He saw the seriousness in her eyes, and he straightened to his full height. This made him a foot taller than her, but she did not seem intimidated in the least. In turn, this made him nervous about what she would ask.
“If we marry, will ye be faithful to me?”
She might have knocked him over with a feather. It was not a question he expected, but after what she had seen with Alan, it was a fair one.
“Mairghread, in ma heart, marriage is sacred. I wouldnae stray from ye or any woman I marry. I would never dishonor ye by doing that.”
He took a breath before he continued. What he was about to tell her might stop their relationship before it even began. He intended to tell her, but not quite this soon after asking her to stay on. Perhaps it was for the best that it come out now.
“I wasna going to say aught aboot this yet. But I ken I must now, and it’ll be for the best. Until last night, I was involved with a woman here in the keep. She was nae exactly ma leman, but she has filled that role many times over the past two years. After ye retired, I headed to ma solar for a dram or four of whisky. She approached me and offered to keep me company. I looked down at her, and all I could see was that she wasna ye. She didna appeal to me in the least. I couldnae get away fast enough. I ended things with her, but she doesnae ken it is because of ye that I nay longer want her. I said I would have to marry soon, and after Alan’s actions, I have nay desire to be aught like him. I couldnae and wouldnae have a woman in the keep who might consider me a future husband while keeping a leman.”
“That is quite a lot to take in. I’m glad ye told me before I found out aboot whomever this woman is. I take it she works in the keep and is someone that I will have to deal with often if I become the chatelaine. If I become the lady of the clan, then she will work for me. That may nae go over well with her, or any of the other women ye’ve been with who live and work in the keep.” She looked up at him and asked him pointedly, “Are there many of them I will have to encounter day to day? Are there many here who will ken ye better than I will come our wedding day?”
“Mairghread, there are only two other women besides this one who were aught close to a leman. I never granted any the privileges a leman often enjoys. None have ever shared the laird’s bed with me. I will be honest that there are women in the village and beyond who I’ve gotten to ken beyond passing glances. I willna ever flaunt ma past in yer face, but I canna guarantee ye willna have to deal with these women.”
“I ken ye have a past, and I’m only a new addition to ye life. I hope we suit, and I can be a permanent addition. All I can ask is there be nay others from now on. Nae during this time while we figure out if we will wed, and if we do, then nae after that either.”
“Ye have ma word of honor on that. I want nay other, and I will have nay other.”
Tristan pulled her in to his chest and hugged her tightly. He might not kiss her, but he would enjoy having her in his embrace even if only for a moment. Mairghread did not hesitate to return his hug by wrapping her arms around him as best she could. She rested her head against his heart and listened to its steady rhythm. She sighed as she felt safe with him. The same sense of belonging that she got when she hugged her father or brothers seeped into her marrow. But this was different, too. Desire heated her belly again, and an ache was developing between her legs. Her breasts were heavy, and she longed to press her hips forward. She was aware he was aroused too, but unlike with Alan, she wanted to feel his stiff shaft pressed against her.
They stood like that for several minutes before they both accepted that they had to pull away and return to the Great Hall.
~~~
“Da! Ye arenae listening to me! Please stop saddling yer horse and listen to me.”
“Mairghread, ye’re late coming down here. A stable lad has already seen to yer horse. Get on. We leave now.”
“Nay!”
Laird Sinclair turned around slowly and stared down at his youngest child.
“What did ye say? I havenae time for yer nonsense aboot staying on. If ye didna get enough sleep and are too tired to ride alone, then ye can ride with one of yer brothers. If ye are hungry, then ye should have come down sooner. Ye can eat a bannock once we set off. Now mount yer horse so we can be off.”
He vaulted himself into the saddle.
“Da! I amnae going anywhere.”
“What are ye blathering on aboot, lass?”
“Are ye ready to listen to me? I’d ask that ye get down, so I might have a word without every ear in this keep hearing me.”
Liam and his sons all dismounted and moved over to where she stood at the foot of the stairs. She had already tried to get her father’s attention as she arrived in the Great Hall with Tristan at her side. Her father and brothers were striding to the door. Mairghread had to run to catch up with them, calling out to her father four times and asking him to wait each time. She kept saying she wanted to stay, but he shook his head and kept marching forward.
Once her father and brothers stepped towards her and Tristan, she moved back to stand at Tristan’s side. This did not go unnoticed by her family. Five sets of chestnut eyebrows shot upwards. Five scowls were directed at Tristan. Five sets of knuckles clenched at their sides.
“Da, I didna say aught yesterday as there wasna a point at the time. I didna hold any hope aught might come of it, but I am seriously interested in Tristan. I told maself he would make a fine friend and perhaps an ally while I was married to his stepbrother. I didna want to marry Sir Alan, but I was willing to do it for the clan. I didna like kenning I would marry one mon while interested in another, but I would have done it for the clan. Now I dinna have to. Tristan sent his stepbrother and stepmother away early this morn. He sent a score of warriors with them to escort them back to Lady Beatris’s clan. Tristan has asked me to consider being his wife. He asked me to stay on for a while, so we might spend some time getting to ken one another and to figure out if we suit. I’d like to stay.”
<
br /> “And just how did ye come by this information so early in the morn? Ye came down the stairs with Laird Mackay at yer side, and now ye refer to him as Tristan. Just what happened after ye supposedly retired?”
Tristan stepped in front of Mairghread and threw his shoulders back. He took a wide stance and put his fists on his hips. He was aware he was an intimidating man, but he was matched up against five other equally intimidating men.
“I dinna like what ye are implying aboot yer daughter. She has done naught to receive such censure from ye. It is as she says. Alan and Beatris left the keep last night and rode out for Clan MacDonnell over two hours ago. I wanted to be sure Mair was well and safe, so I slept outside her door last night once I’d given ma orders for Alan and Beatris. When Mair arose this morn, she found me outside her door. She agreed to speak with me for a while, and we discussed her staying on. I hope it to be permanent.”
“Ye defend ma daughter, but just where did this chat happen? Ye were nae in the passageway when we each exited our chambers. And ye were nae at the dais to break yer fast. So where were ye?”
Heroes of Honor: Historical Romance Collection Page 80