Once Caroline made it out to the stables, she was met by the other stable hands who had discovered her mare before she had means to do so. It would have been convenient for her to make up the excuse that she couldn’t sleep and had risen early to be with her horse. But seeing that her mare was saddled would give these men reason to be suspicious.
“Morning, Miss Caroline,” the stable master greeted once he noticed her coming near. “We’ve just found your mare trotting into the barn as though you’d been riding this morning.”
“I was walking her and she returned before I could muster up the strength. I simply need to brush her down now,” Caroline said, her excuse quick to come to her lips. The stable master eyed the horse for a moment and then looked back at Caroline as though he didn’t really believe anything she had just said.
“I’d be happy to do the work me self, if you are too tired after your early morning walk,” the stable master offered.
“I am fine, thank you,” Caroline said, tilting her head up just a bit as she folded her hands. She wanted to appear stronger than she felt in that moment. She should be asleep in bed, not trying to solve mysteries.
“Very well, Miss,” he replied, handing her the reins before bowing and gesturing to the other stable hands to give her some space. Feeling a bit more relaxed, Caroline led the mare over to the lead ropes so she could secure the horse while she took off the saddle and padding. It was there, at the horn of the saddle, folded just underneath the lip and the padding, that she felt a piece of paper. Quickly, she removed the paper and stuck it into her robe pocket before removing the saddle and setting it aside.
Caroline took her time with the mare, preparing her for her stall and brushing her down. The horse deserved the best after being out all night, and after she had finished her work, she asked a stable boy to see to it that the mare was fed well and given plenty of water. Only then did she leave the stables and make her way back inside.
As she stepped in through the back door that led to the gardens, she startled a few maids who had been walking by, carrying fresh linens. She smiled softly to them as they curtsied. Then, she made her way to her bedchamber once more. She passed a majority of the household as they all scurried to attend to the morning chores such as warming the house after a particular chilly night and having the rooms dusted for their daily use. She could already smell a sweet aroma coming from the kitchen, telling Caroline that Cook must have been hard at work preparing something special for the morning meal.
The only thing that concerned Caroline in that moment was the slip of paper in her pocket. And she only withdrew once she was finally safe behind her bedchamber door. With shaky hands, she removed the note and sat down at her writing desk, her heart pounding in her chest once more.
My dearest Caroline. I know you must be dreadfully confused at this moment. Trust that I never want to part with you. But I’ve made a deal for my father’s sake. And in return, I’m going to become a better man for you. If you receive this letter, I want you to understand my love for you. Time will pass, but my heart will never stop longing for you. One day, we will meet again.
Fresh tears came to Caroline’s eyes as she read the note over and over again. Her emotions seemed to return to her as her hand shook, making it difficult for her to fold the note and tuck it away safely in her writing desk where it couldn’t be easily discovered. Then, she pulled off her boots, set her house robe on the back of a chair, and finally crawled into bed.
All sorts of emotional pain washed from Caroline as she cried and sobbed, hugging her down-feather pillow to her chest. She felt angry at William for allowing her to go while still holding such love for him in her chest. She didn’t understand what kind of deal William had made, but she also knew that his father was gravely ill. It seemed to her that Lord Canton had really played at their struggles in life—her love for William, his need to save his father. She was certain in that moment that she’d never marry Lord Canton and would one day be reunited with William once more.
“Mama, this is starting to be a very sad story,” little Duncan said as he sat up in bed and looked at his mother.
“I know, my dear. But all great stories start with some sort of tragedy. Don’t worry—this story has a happy ending.”
“Lord Canton seems to be quite the villain,” Duncan commented, resting back against the plush pillows once more.
“Indeed, he is the villain of the story,” his mother confirmed as she tucked him back into bed.
“Will Caroline and William ever meet again?” he asked, causing his mother to smirk.
“You’ll just have to listen to the rest of my story. There is much to tell.”
Chapter 9
It was her nineteenth birthday, and Caroline sat in the drawing room with all her closest friends. She had given it another try, surprising her parents when she had requested a large birthday party. Together with her mother, she’d planned an extravagant ball with all the major families in the neighbourhood.
With the Season in London coming to an end, and Caroline once more failing to meet a suitable gentleman she would consider a good husband, they’d all returned to her father’s country estate to plan her birthday party. And though Caroline didn’t feel quite lively anymore, she thought that perhaps a large party in her honour would help brighten her spirits.
Caroline looked all around her at the happy faces. Her dear friend, Miss Gwendolen Murphy, also a daughter of an earl that she’d met this past Season, had come out to the country with her family simply to attend Caroline’s birthday celebration. And it was with this friend that she currently sat with, talking about all the others in attendance.
“For having such an unsuccessful Season, you surely have quite the turnout for your birthday,” Gwendolen said with a chuckle. “There are many suitors here tonight.”
“I suppose they are thinking that I will be livelier this evening since it is my birthday. I know most in attendance, since I planned my own guest list. My mother is proud that I am taking an interest in managing a household and planning events,” Caroline said, pushing back a strand of her hair as she peered around the room that was filled with busy chatter.
“Come, now. We’ve known each other these past few months, attending every social function together as though we were sisters. Tell me why you choose such an event,” Gwendolen pressed, leaning closer as if to hear Caroline whisper a secret to her. Caroline had never spoken about William after that dreadful night and wasn’t about to share her heart’s desire with anyone. Caroline couldn’t really trust anyone when she was still certain that Lord Canton often spied on her.
“Perhaps it is finally time that I honestly consider someone for a husband,” Caroline said, turning away from her. “There are plenty of suitable men, but I have yet to give any of them a chance at my heart.”
“Oh, Miss Caroline, you always make me laugh,” Gwendolen said with a giggle. “We both know that these men are not as suitable as they like others to think. It’s always the ones that are the most handsome that often lay with any young lady they can convince.” Caroline giggled behind her gloved hand, knowing how correct her friend was. After her first Season, Caroline was quick to learn how cunning men could be, and that most of the time the only thing they were after was her virginity and not her hand in marriage.
“Such dreadful beasts, men are,” Caroline said. “But I am now nineteen. I won’t have many chances to marry by this time next year. Perhaps next Season will prove to be more profitable.”
“You’ve been through three Seasons now, Miss Caroline. What do you expect to happen next year?”
Caroline stifled the urge to shrug, knowing that so many eyes were watching her. “I can only hope that things will get better,” she said eventually, looking at her friend. So dearly did she want to confess her every yearning to a woman like Gwendolen. But she feared speaking her true heart’s desire to anyone. Instead, she stood and helped Gwendolen to her feet. “Let us make merry and visit with all that have
come tonight. You shall be my honoured guest so that we may dance with all the amiable men.”
“You mean you’d rather pick your dance partners than be stuck with a man with two left feet.”
“Precisely, my dear. It’s better to choose for one’s self instead of waiting for the fates to align.”
Caroline led her dear friend around the drawing room, introducing her to as many as she could and greeting everyone that had come to attend her ball. She had become better over the years at pretending and acting like someone she wasn’t. Though she often succumbed to the misery she kept inside, refusing to dance with anyone despite her parents’ wishes, tonight she forced herself to be more outgoing and sociable. The gentlemen present surely noticed her change in demeanour and even tried their luck at inviting her to dance with them. Caroline took pleasure in declining some and accepting others, making her feel like she had some sort of control over her life. Or perhaps it was the punch that she freely drank without restraint.
At one point in the evening, about the time she expected the dinner to be announced, she was making her way back through the throng to join her parents. But when a gentle hand settled on her elbow, she stopped and turned towards the person, thinking Gwendolen had finally caught up with her after parting in search of another cup of punch. Instead of her dearest friend, however, she looked up into the ice-blue eyes of Lord Canton and immediately felt like she had been dunked in a bath of cold water.
“Happy birthday, Miss Caroline,” Lord Canton said, dipping his head as he raised her hand to his lips. She withdrew her hand before his mouth could touch her glove. The Earl had begun a bad habit of kissing her hand last Season, his way of showing others how serious he was about pursuing her. And now that his father had passed and he was officially an earl, his pursuits had become bolder.
“I was unaware that you were in attendance. I don’t remember your name being on the guest list,” Caroline said, her smile disappearing as a bit of her misery rose in her chest once more.
“You parents were kind enough to send me an invitation. After the wonderful Season we had together, I couldn’t miss this opportunity to share my company with you. Or have you already forgotten that you are to be keeping me company?” he said in a soft voice. Caroline groaned inwardly. Lord Canton was always quick to remind her of their deal. Any time she’d tried to refuse him, he’d remind her of the information he would so easily release if she tried to create distance between them.
“I was just heading over to my parents. I’m sure dinner will be served soon,” Caroline said, her voice becoming lifeless once more. How could she have thought she could enjoy her birthday without being reminded of her dreadful past?
Lord Canton extended his arm towards her and she placed her hand upon his, allowing him to escort her through the room. Caroline understood now that this was only for show, that he only wanted to be seen with her.
He rarely showed any signs of endearment towards her besides the kiss on the back of her hand or the occasional gift that she always refused to wear unless she knew for certain that he wasn’t going to be present at a social function. Caroline knew deep down in her heart that Lord Canton only pursued her because he enjoyed the game of it all.
“Ah, Lord Canton. It’s always good to see you,” her father said in greeting as they came near to where her parents were sitting with their friends. Caroline lowered her hand and sat down next to her mother, forcing Lord Canton to find another empty chair a bit further away from her.
“It’s good to see you as well, Lord Goldman. What a lovely function this all is. Lady Goldman, you always do throw the most splendid parties,” Lord Canton said with a wide smile. The look on his face made Caroline’s stomach tighten in knots. He was always so charming towards others, but she understood his true character. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
“My word, Lord Canton. You honour me with such kind remarks,” Lady Goldman said, giggling. Caroline wanted to scold her mother for being so fickle, but she knew that it would be terribly rude.
“Miss Caroline, I do hope your dance card is not full quite yet,” Lord Canton spoke up, sending a shiver passing over Caroline’s skin. She dearly hated to dance with the man. She not only loathed him, but had found out that he wasn’t the best dancer, either.
“Not yet,” she told him.
“Good. Then I shall request the last dance of the night with you,” Lord Canton quickly replied.
“Of course, Caroline would be delighted,” her father spoke up before she could reply with her own well-thought-out denial. She looked at her father and saw the stern look in his eyes, knowing that she didn’t dare refuse him. She simply nodded in return, becoming silent as conversation flowed around her. She looked at Lord Canton and noticed the smirk upon his lips. It was a clear sign that he was planning something particular this night and she suddenly regretted the idea of ever having a birthday celebration in the first place.
The dinner was as lovely, as Caroline had predicted it would be. Cook had been kind enough to work with her on preparing all her favourite dishes, even if they didn’t really pair well together. It gave Caroline something to talk about with the other young ladies she sat with during the meal. Instead of everyone dining at the same long table, Caroline had instead decided to place several round tables around the dining room, as though it was a French café. She then was able to sit with those she chose instead of being forced to sit with Lord Canton. And while the dinner commenced, she was able to relax and laugh freely with her dear friends.
“I did not fail to see that Lord Canton is in attendance this evening,” Gwendolen remarked during the dessert course, leaning close to Caroline so that they could speak with one another. She was so focused on her cake that she had almost forgotten about the man.
“Yes, indeed. Seems like the Earl has followed me into the countryside once more,” Caroline replied.
“But why on earth does he continue trying to win your hand in marriage? You’ve already refused him and clearly show no interest in him. Why do you think the man still pursuits?”
“I have come to think that he simply wants what he cannot have. Therefore, he tries even harder.” Caroline was running out of excuses. She knew so much more about Lord Canton’s intentions that she wished sometimes that she could trust someone to confide in. But when Lord Canton always seemed to appear when she least expected him to, she was certain that one or many of her father’s servants spied on her for him.
“Then perhaps you are right in thinking about marrying someone soon. Only then would you honestly be free of Lord Canton,” Gwendolen mused before taking a bite of cake. Having lost her appetite, Caroline set her half-eaten slice of cake aside and instead focused on what the other ladies were speaking about in hushed giggles.
“Pray tell, what sort of gossip are you sharing? I want to hear,” Caroline insisted.
“Miss Caroline, have you heard about the handsome Sir Roberts?” Miss Penelope asked. Ringlets of brown curls hung around her face, bouncing to the excited motions of her head as she looked at Caroline.
“No, I have not. Tell me more about this man,” Caroline eagerly encouraged, always loving a good bit of gossip.
“I heard from another that Sir Roberts is a recently knighted man after sailing in the Navy and defeating dreadful pirates. Because of his bravery and heroic actions, the King decided to bestow upon him a great title and wealth,” she explained.
“Was he not popular during the Season?” Caroline asked then, wondering why she hadn’t heard of such a man.
“No, he was not. But I am sure he’ll be the only person the Ton will want to speak about, come next Season. He’s not only wealthy, but supposedly not much older than us. Handsome, young, single. Every debutante will be after him.”
“Sounds like the perfect man,” Gwendolen spoke up in a cheerful voice. “When I return to town, I’ll be sure to inquire of him further. Oh, Miss Caroline. You must return with me. I know that summer will be upon us, but we wo
uld have such a wonderful time together.”
“I highly doubt that my parents would allow me to travel so far without their presence. More so my mother,” Caroline said, taking a long drink of her wine. She liked the effect it had on her body, helping to soothe her tired spirit. Caroline wasn’t particularly interested in chasing after a man she knew so little about. And when her heart still belonged to another, she reasoned that it would be unfair to whomever she married. She’d never love them.
A Lady's Passion Knows No Distance: A Historical Regency Romance Book Page 8