by JG Jerome
Allie and Roger, Dan and Maria, Monty and Monique, Steven and Lidia, and Jack’s whole circle of ladies joined my family, Shryl, Warren, the refugees, Chrysilla, and the staff from the salon. The security team rotated in as well.
We had twenty turkeys, twenty hams, dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, green beans, candied yams, broccoli and cauliflower casserole, tossed salads, pies, and tons of chopped vegetable hors d’oevres and breads.
We had a huge feast around the large improvised tables seated on benches. The elves were aghast at the vast amounts of food. Roger, Allie, and Monique were aghast over the elves, succubae, Jack’s harem, and mine. We spent a fair amount of time reading them into the hidden world. Allie and Roger knew about magic, but elves and succubae were new to them. We started preparing food the evening before and finally had everything ready to serve about one o’clock in the afternoon.
I kicked off the feast with an explanation for the elves of why we celebrate this holiday and the history behind the festival. I gave a short prayer to ‘our divine parents’ in thanks for the blessings we received in 2019, and then shouted, “DIG IN!”
Everyone laughed, and the feasting began. I limited myself to one plate before I got up and kissed all of my wives, Viktorija, Erica, and Lara. I gave hugs to my daughters, Jack and his harem, Chrysilla, and my trusted elven advisors - Lenore, T’os, Chiara, and Mica. Then I walked around to the tables to visit with the elves. After I had visited with each table, I walked to the center of the group and asked for everyone’s attention.
I said, “Everyone, thank you for your attention.” I pause for effect. “There is a lot of uncertainty ahead of us.” I pause as I see the better English speakers among the refugees translating to Elvish. “We have had tragedy, pain, and adventure that none of us really wanted. But there is much to be thankful for this year. Here are the things I’m thankful for.”
I paused for a small sip of iced tea. “I’ve made new friends and strengthened existing bonds. I have gone from being hopeless and divorced to having seven wonderful, beautiful wives.”
One of my wives called out, “and two fiancés.”
Lleandra added quietly, “Three.” She looked shyly at me before smiling and looking down at her plate. Clarice hugged her and grinned at me.
I continued, “I went from being childless to having two beautiful daughters, and a baby on the way.”
Susan adds, “With more on the way soon,” and Carla immediately interjects, “Amen, Mrs. James.”
Much laughter ensued from their interplay. I raised my hands and the laughter slowly dropped. “I’m grateful for my sister Allie’s, and my wife Marissa’s recovery from cancer. I’ve been fortunate in some business deals, had a ton of lucrative side work, and managed to inherit a large enough nest egg that I will be able to take care of you all.”
The elves struggled with ‘nest egg,’ but after a while they figured it out. “Finally, I have developed some new skills and latent talents that will also help take care of this extended family.” I pause for a moment. “We can’t afford to forget the dangers looming on the horizon, because our enemies will not be easily deterred, but it’s important to remember the things we’re thankful for. So, I have shared what I am thankful for. Now I would like to hear from each of you. If you want to speak in Elvish, we have enough translators to help. If you are thankful for something someone else says, that’s okay - tell us anyway. I’d like to start with this table over here. T’os? Would you start please?”
T’os stood and made his contribution first in Elvish and then in English. “I am thankful our Lord spared me. I am thankful to be free, courtesy of our Lord. I am thankful for being treated like a real person, courtesy of our Lord. And finally, I am thankful for the affection of the two ladies on either side of me. That is all.” Everyone applauded as T’os resumed his seat. The aforementioned ladies both blushed, but they also hugged him tightly before the one to his left stood and shared what she was thankful for.
And so the rest of the table stood and spoke in turn. Many tried to follow T’os’ example of speaking in both languages; although, the old gent helped his tablemates when they ran into trouble.
I then asked each table to follow, and we steadily continued around all of the tables.
There were many that echoed T’os’ remarks, but some focused more on being treated like a person rather than a cum sump - my translation - and the healing of Warren. Many also talked about not having to worry about where the next meal comes from or being eaten. All of the humans were struck dumb by the sincere outpouring of emotion from our elven friends.
Jack and his ladies, all five of them, were very thankful for each other. Darcie added that she was thankful Jack survived his mission for the Church over the summer. Candice was thankful that Jack and Darcie still patiently wait for her. Alöise’s staff mostly are grateful for the love and support of their mistress and her safe return, but also for surviving the attacks by the elves. That last bit had a sobering effect on our elves.
My wives’ comments focused around our loving family, but Carla talked about me coming to save her and helping her learn to connect emotionally. Erica echoed that last bit, and was also grateful for finding our extended family. Warren gave thanks for his new pickup before he shared an emotional statement of thanks for having so many new friends. Alöise talked about my rescue of her. Clarice talked about not being the only ‘child in the family,’ the return of her ‘Mummy,’ and discovering her ‘Daddy.’
Lleandra and Chrysilla both shared their thanks for the new relationships with my family and their hope for a brighter future. Allie and Roger talked about Allie’s miraculous recovery from cancer. Steven and Lidia expressed their thanks for the blessing of their daughter. Dan and Maria talked in terms of the blessing of having many daughters now and their improved health. In short there were lots of joyful tears and laughter.
After we cleaned up, stored food, and handed out leftovers we said our goodbyes to Warren and the refugees that remained. Quite a large number came through the passage Josie installed in the barn Wednesday - my family, our five elven household staff, Allie and Roger, Alöise’s staff - including the elven guard force and four human security guards laden with plates for those on duty, Jack’s family, Dan and Maria, Steven and Lidia.
Once we arrived in the sub-basement of the Mount Vernon house, Alöise and I handed out hugs and kisses to her staff as they passed through the passage to Phoenix. We did the same for Allie and Roger. Dan and Maria went through their own passage home - good thing too since Maria was quite tipsy.
Once everyone was gone that was going, the rest of us dragged cushions upstairs and scattered around the great room furniture, the dinette tables, and randomly placed cushions around the large living space. I picked up Lara and set her on top of the piano before doing the same with Zenia, Chelena, Elesain, Serenia, and Morena, our five elven household staff. Mica sat at one of the dinettes with his pad and pen, and Susan sat next to him. He’s coming along quite well at keeping track of actions and issues. I may start using him for contract work.
Jack sat in the middle of the big couch with his ladies around him. Darcie and April flanked him, the former with a Windows Surface for notes. Felicia and Maddy sat next to April, Chelsea sat next to Darcie, and Candice sat at Jack’s feet.
Steven and Lidia took one of the loveseats. Audrey, Erica, and Rebecca squeezed into the other. Josie sat next to Susan. I moved one of the dinettes into the center of the room, and Alöise and Carla set up on that. Viktorija and Marissa sat on the floor on either side of me as I leaned back with my head resting on Audrey’s crossed legs. My two daughters sat on the piano bench.
Alöise looked at Carla, who nodded in return. Each had a stack of paper, a legal pad, and a couple of pens. Alöise said, “Okay! We are ready to begin.”
Then the doorbell rang. I looked out the door and saw a familiar female silhouette. I lifted my phone and looked at the video feed. I saw a familiar face st
anding in front of the door crying. I said quickly, “Just a minute, Sonya. I’ll be right there.”
I got up and told everyone, “Glamours up. We’re going to have a guest.”
I noticed the elves’ ears disappeared and they all looked less ethereally beautiful than I’ve come to expect as the norm for elves. Lara loosened her braid, and Clarice handed her my dirty old straw hat to cover her ears.
I opened the door. “Sonya, what’s wrong?” I asked as I opened the door and invited her in.
She stepped in sobbing. “I’m having a hard time today. My folks are out of town, and my boyfriend and I broke up yesterday. I was hoping to hang out with some nice folks...ohmigod, you have a full house.”
Rebecca appeared next to me and wrapped the cute police officer in a hug. She looked really good in jeans and a sweater.
Rebecca told her, “Sonya, you’re welcome to stay, but we’re going to be discussing very personal family business. You have to swear not to talk about this to anyone. No friends, no family, no co-workers, no strangers on the street - no one! Do you understand?”
Sonya sniffed and nodded vigorously. “Yes,” she murmured.”
Marissa got up and called, “Red, white, or beer, Sonya?”
“Beer,” she answered.
I announced to the room, “Everyone, this is Officer Sonya Bird of the Prescott Police Department. Not only has she had the misfortune of dealing with me repeatedly, but she is having a rough patch in her personal life. She came here to be surrounded by nice people.” I looked at Jack and said, “Do your best, Jack.”
Jack led the wave of laughter that followed. Marissa sat a beer on one of the tables, and Rebecca escorted Sonya to a seat next to her beer. Marissa sat next to her and draped an arm over her shoulders.
Alöise picked up the narrative. “Okay, let’s begin. Sonya, welcome. I am Alöise James. I believe you know Carla James. I think you’ve picked up that William has a large number of ladies in his family. As you are aware, polygamy is illegal in Arizona and the entire United States. Carla and I are about to describe to our extended family how we’re going to get past that constraint legally. Just so you are aware, I actually wrote the base agreement for a client of mine in Ash Fork, and it has been upheld in the courts. So just listen and learn. Carla and I will take questions as they come up.” Alöise surveyed the room. “Okay. These are the terms and conditions from the Articles of Incorporation of the Cortez Cooperative.”
Alöise walked us carefully through the document, ensuring everyone knew what they were getting into. The major differences were that Carla had insisted that a lifetime non-disclosure agreement, or NDA, be part of the agreement at all levels; however, Alöise was careful to stipulate the differences between the Associate version and the other two levels. The versions for the Concubine and Household levels are pretty similar, but with some tighter controls on the Household version.
The other major addition was the clauses about rules for leaving a Household. The gist of that was that each original household member must agree on the terms within thirty days of the signing of the Household agreement, and once set they will be binding on all members - even those that join later. She also had a version ready for our household.
I listened closely as Alöise talked, but I also kept an eye on Sonya. She was completely gobsmacked. On the positive side, she appeared to have forgotten her earlier angst.
Carla talked us through the James Household agreement. I made a motion that Alöise be the Head of Household rather than myself and explained my logic - she’s used to running a big household, and she has the most life experience to draw upon. After a little discussion we all agreed, and Alöise accepted. Rebecca, Alöise, Carla, Marissa, Audrey, Josie, Susan, Viktorija, and I all signed. Clarice and Lleandra signed as children of the household, witnessed by Jack and Darcie. We have thirty days to pull all of our financials together, but Carla has already created an account for the Cortez Cooperative with a $250,000 initial deposit from her own money.
Jack, Darcie, April, Chelsea, Felicia, and Maddy all signed at the concubine level to start with. Alöise, Carla, and Viktorija will go over the agreement with the folks in the salon.
Alöise said, “We should have all the documents for the household staff here and in Phoenix ironed out next week.”
Carla casually said, “Yes. The elves will all be at the Associate level.”
Sonya immediately asked, “Elves?”
The room went deathly quiet, and Carla grimaced. “I’m sorry, husband. I got careless.”
I stood and wrapped her in a hug. “It’s okay, Mrs. James. I was starting to think you were too perfect, and I couldn’t keep up.”
“Apparently not,” Marissa smirked from next to Sonya. Carla raised her middle finger at her closest lover.
I asked, “What did you think about everything else you heard before that, Sonya?”
She shrugged, “It sounds kinda like a commune, but with better benefits.” She bites her lips. “Did I hear that right? Elves?”
“In or out, Sonya?” I asked. The room was quiet as a tomb as everyone looked at her biting her lip.
“This cooperative thing? Your family?” she asked.
“Yes,” I answered immediately. “And keeping our secrets.”
Sonya looked at me for a long moment and scanned the faces of the people she knows. Finally she said decisively, “In.”
I clarified, “As you are a police officer, you don’t qualify for Associate level. It would have to be Concubine level membership.”
“Okay,” she said with eyes like platters.
I squeezed Carla. “Execute the agreement, Mrs. James.”
Carla grabbed the forms, and Erica said, “You might as well get them for me too, Carla. I’m thinking about upgrading, but I want to talk it through with everyone and think about it a bit.”
Steven asked after talking quietly to Lidia, “May we form our own household?”
“Of course, Steven,” Alöise answered quickly. “Here’s a packet of everything. Take it home and read it. We can execute it Monday if you want to move forward. I’m taking the initial package to Martin Tuesday morning. He and I will go to the Clerk's office to file immediately thereafter. If you need more time, we can record your agreement later.”
Zenia spoke up, “Sonya knows now. Okay to drop glamour, Lord?”
I chuckle, “Sure. Drop your glamour, Zenia.”
Sonya gasped as the appearance of six of the individuals changed markedly.
I kissed each of my wives warmly. Wine and beer was poured and distributed. Cheers and hugs abounded. I noticed that Darcie took a household package from Alöise.
Jack pulled me to the side as the ladies all chatted, hugged, and kissed.
Jack said, “I’ve got a hunter team with some off-duty cops pulling surveillance on the Esplanade. There has been a significant amount of activity this week. Cleaning crews mostly, but there were crates and boxes that could have been weaponry as well as a shit-ton of non-perishable food.”
“They’re getting ready to come back,” I observed. “Makes me wish I’d raised your former colleagues rather than calling Larkin.”
“Yeah,” Jack sighed. “I think we’re gonna wish we had the manpower despite them not knowing anything useful. On the bright side, we found that ownership recently transferred to a local human woman. She’s the one that’s apparently organizing everything to reoccupy the building. We did some background checks on her.” He looked at me pointedly. “Her name is Melanie McElroy.”
“WHAT?” I shouted. Everyone turned to stare at me.
Jack said, “Will, your ex-wife is working for the elves.”
“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” I moaned.
Just when I thought shit couldn’t get more weird.
the end
Afterword
I hope you enjoyed this story. I would value your feedback. As you know, Amazon is driven by reviews, so please leave one - especially if you liked it! I
love 5-star reviews!
Those 5-star reviews are critical because I’ll get more exposure to new readers based on the ratings of each book. Plus, it helps to counteract the haters out there. As not all readers will love what I write, it’s important to hear from those of you that do, so I can reach a wider audience. As a part-time author, I would appreciate the help. Maybe I can eventually retire from my IT job and just write.
Also, Amazon won’t tell you when my next book lands. The best way to find out is to follow me on my Amazon page or Facebook. Links are at the end of this section.
It wasn’t as much of an adventure to write as ‘Den of Iniquity.’ I had a pretty solid plan going into this one based on the previous two books as well as ‘Clarice’s Admirer.’ Despite that there were some surprises. Among them are elven refugees, Viktorija’s hacking hijinx, a squad of human made-to-order zombies, and what happens if you get stabbed by the spike of a succubus. Fighting a hunter team and the visit by the infamous Monsignor David Lewis weren’t part of the plan either, but they showed up regardless. Warren Dark made an appearance in ‘Master of the Road’ a couple of weeks before he showed up here - good thing too. I would have hated to write about all those elven suicides otherwise. In short, the cast of this story have taken me on another thrill ride as an author, and I thoroughly enjoyed.
I always like to call out the origin for my concept for zombies. It sprang from a conversation with a friend of mine. He’s a bit of a geek and a font of knowledge on a wide variety of topics. One day when we were having a discussion over breakfast at First Watch in Phoenix, my buddy mentioned that he had been reading about a school of philosophy that believes that there are a fixed number of souls on the planet. The idea of this philosophy school is that as people die, the souls are reborn into new bodies - standard reincarnation. However, as the world population has increased, the number of people has exceeded the number of available souls. The philosophers of this school believe these soulless people are here to challenge the rest of us to help us grow. That idea percolated in my brain over time, and eventually the soul-less became the basis for my zombies.