CHAPTER X.
_Where the Author comes in doubt, whether he be a_ Man, _an_ Ape, _or an_Estridge;[1] _and of the Opinion of the Lunar Philosophers concerning_Aristotle.
This belief would have taken rooting by being spread, had it not beenfor the Learned Men of the Country, who opposed it, saying, That itwas horrid Impiety to believe not only Beasts, but Monsters, to be oftheir kind. It would be far more probable, (added the calmer Sort) thatour Domestick Beasts should participate of the privilege of Humanityand by consequence of Immortality, as being bred in our Country, thana Monstrous Beast that talks of being born I know not where, in theMoon; and then observe the difference betwixt us and them. We walk uponFour Feet, because God would not trust so precious a thing upon weakerSupporters, and he was afraid least marching otherwise some Mischancemight befall Man; and therefore he took the pains to rest him upon fourPillars, that he might not fall, but disdaining to have a hand in theFabrick of these two Brutes, he left them to the Caprice of Nature, whonot concerning her self with the loss of so small a matter, supportedthem only by Two Feet.
"Birds themselves," said they, "have not had so hard measure as they;for they have got Feathers at least, to supply the weakness of their,Legs, and to cast themselves in the Air when we pursue them; whereasNature, depriving these Monsters of Two Legs, hath disabled them fromscaping our Justice.
"Besides, consider a little how they have the Head raised towardHeaven; it is because God would punish them with scarcity of allthings, that he hath so placed them; for that supplicant Posture shewsthat they complain to Heaven of him that Created them, and that theybeg Permission to make their best of our Leavings. But we, on thecontrary, have the Head bending downwards, to behold the Blessingswhereof we are the Masters, and as if there were nothing in Heaven thatour happy condition needed Envy."
I heard such Discourses, or the like, daily at my Lodge; and at lengththey so curbed the minds of the people as to that point, that it wasdecreed, That at best I should only pass for a Parrot without Feathers;for they confirmed those who were already perswaded, in that I had buttwo Legs no more than a Bird, which was the cause that I was put into aCage by express orders from the Privy Council.
There the Queen's Bird-keeper taking the pains daily to teach meto Whistle, as they do Stares[2] or Singing-Birds here, I wasreally happy in that I wanted not Food; In the mean while, with theSonnets[3] the Spectators stunned me [with], I learnt to speak as theydid; so that when I was got to be so much Master of the Idiom as toexpress most of my thoughts, I told them the finest of my Conceits.The Quaintness of my Sayings was already the entertainment of allSocieties, and my Wit was so much esteemed that the Council was obligedto Publish an Edict, forbidding all People to believe that I wasendowed with Reason; with express Commands to all Persons, of whatQuality or Condition soever, not to imagine but that whatever I did,though never so wittily, proceeded only from Instinct.
Nevertheless, the decision of what I was, divided the Town into TwoFactions. The party that stood for me encreased daily; and at lengthin spight of the _Anathema_, whereby they endeavoured to scare themultitude: They who held for me, demanded a Convention of the States,for determining that Controversie. It was long before they could agreein the Choice of those who should have a Vote; but the Arbitratorspacified the heat, by making the number of both parties equal, whoordered that I should be brought unto the Assembly, as I was: But I wastreated there with all imaginable Severity. My Examiners, amongst otherthings, put questions of Philosophy to me; I ingenuously told them allthat my Tutor had heretofore taught me, but they easily refuted me bymore convincing Arguments: So that having nothing to answer for myself, my last refuge was to Principles of _Aristotle_, which stood mein as little stead, as his Sophisms did; for in two Words, they let mesee the falsity of them.
"That same Aristotle," said they, "whose Learning you brag so much of,did without doubt accommodate Principles to his Philosophy;[4] insteadof accommodating his Philosophy to Principles; and besides he ought tohave proved them at least to be more rational than those of the otherSects you mentioned to us: Wherefore the good Man will not take it ill,we hope, if we bid him God b'w'."
In fine, when they perceived that I did nothing but bawl, that theywere not more knowing than Aristotle, and that I was forbid todispute against those who denied his Principles: They all unanimouslyconcluded, That I was not a Man, but perhaps a kind of _Estridge_,[5]seeing I carried my Head upright like them, that I walked on twoLegs, and that, in short, but for a little Down, I was every way likeone of them; so that the Bird-keeper was ordered to have me back tomy Cage. I spent my time pretty pleasantly there, for because I hadcorrectly learned their Language, the whole Court took pleasure tomake me prattle. The Queen's Maids, among the rest, slipt always someBoon into my Basket, and the gentilest of them all, having conceivedsome kindness for me, was so transported with Joy, when in private Ientertained her with the manners and divertisements of the People ofour World, and especially our Bells, and other Instruments of Musick,that she protested to me, with Tears in her Eyes, That if ever I foundmy self in a condition to fly back again to our World, she would followme with all her Heart.
[1] Ostrich.
[2] Starlings.
[3] Fr., "sornettes," _nonsense_.
[4] Wrest the facts to fit his theories.
[5] Ostrich.
Histoire comique des états et empires de la lune. English Page 13