Trent winced. He wasn’t at all positive Destiny was his woman yet. Last night, he’d fully intended to find a way to convince her.
That was before. Now, he realized he’d been selfish. There was no way he could ever be the sort of man she deserved. The sort that was available and didn’t get killed.
Even though he now knew she hadn’t been as head over heels in love with Sean as the world believed, she’d still grieved his loss. She’d loved him. She might not survive another loss like that.
The closer he got to her, the harder it would be on her if something happened to him. This was why he’d never gotten serious with a woman in the first place. Or maybe he was lying to himself even now. Maybe the real reason he hadn’t found anyone to share his life with was that none of them were Destiny.
Nevertheless, he would not put her life in danger, and the fact that some asshole possibly had a hit out on his life was proof that he wasn’t invincible either. His job was dangerous. Every Delta knew the stakes. The risks. The possibilities. What they didn’t usually encounter was blowback that came home with them from a mission. That was unheard of.
And yet, it had happened. The same damn day he’d reconnected with the woman he’d been half in love with since he was a teenager.
The timing was crap.
“Zip? You there?”
“Yeah. I’ll be back in a few hours.”
Duff paused a second. “I get it. I do. I’d probably do the same. But you just got there with your woman.”
In more ways than one. But Trent said, “This is the job, man. I knew that when I signed on.” He ended the call, set his hands on the counter, and ducked his head. Fuck.
He wasn’t about to let his shit touch Destiny. She didn’t deserve it. Nor did he want her to find out about this new development. She’d worry. Nope. He wouldn’t alarm her. Hopefully, he and his team could suppress the threat quickly and quietly without anyone on U.S. soil getting involved, especially Destiny. In the meantime, he needed to distance himself from her to keep her safe and to stay diligent.
He’d only been there one night. There was very little chance anyone had followed him. Whoever had been sent to hunt him down hadn’t even landed until after Trent arrived in Dallas. He could return to Killeen without Farid Demir figuring out he had anyone special in his life. Ever.
Fuck. He slammed his palms down and cursed the universe. He’d given Destiny all sorts of shit for wanting to keep their relationship private and secretive. Yesterday, he’d wanted to climb a mountain and shout about his feelings for her to the world. Now, he needed to bow out gracefully.
He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. At least her way would play in his favor. All he needed to do was make her think he totally agreed and use her hibernation in his favor.
This will work. It had to. And he prayed to God they’d find Farid quickly and silence him. Permanently. Of course, if Trent’s Delta Team managed to take out Onur Demir’s brother, that would only infuriate him more and possibly raise the stakes.
Yeah, Trent had to get back to base.
Decision made, he set about the task of making coffee. It only took him a few moments to locate the Keurig and K-cups. Luckily, Destiny didn’t come downstairs while the coffee brewed. He needed a few minutes to figure out what he was going to say that wouldn’t piss her off or break her heart.
Life sucked.
Chapter 10
Destiny rolled onto her back and blinked up at the ceiling, her mind slowly catching up with her as she came awake. She was fully dressed in last night’s clothes, but she was also overly warm from being smothered in Trent’s embrace all night. Even though he wasn’t in the room, she could still feel his warmth.
The smell of coffee reached her nose. She smiled. He hadn’t left. He was in her condo. Making coffee. Had to be him because Libby didn’t drink coffee.
Sure enough, moments later her bedroom door opened and Trent sauntered in with two mugs. He set them both down on the bedside table and then leaned over her.
“Good morning, gorgeous.” He didn’t quite hold her gaze.
Something was off.
“You made coffee,” she murmured.
“I did. Cream and sugar. Just how you like it.”
She pushed herself toward the headboard and sat upright. He looked exactly as delicious as he had when he arrived last night. She felt gross, like she’d slept in her clothes. Which she had. And she needed a shower.
Trent apparently didn’t care because he leaned forward and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear before kissing her sweetly. “I have to go,” he murmured.
She sucked in a breath, meeting his gaze. There were no words. Wait, that wasn’t true. There was a word. “Work?” She needed to make sure he wasn’t sneaking out like some kind of walk of shame.
He nodded. “I’m so sorry. Something came up.” He settled on the edge of the bed and reached over her thighs to rest his palm on the other side. He didn’t look like a man who was running from her. But…
“Trent, if this was too much for you. If you’re having second thoughts…”
He placed a finger on her lips. “Nope. Not even close. Best date of my life, hands down. I know this is horribly inconvenient, but it’s the nature of my job. I get called on a moment’s notice, and when I do, I have no choice but to drop everything and leave. Luckily, this time, I’m not scrambling around the room like a crazy man dashing for my car. They can wait for me. I said I’d be back on base in a few hours.”
She swallowed back her frustration. She didn’t want to come off as some kind of whiny girlfriend who couldn’t handle life with a special forces operative. Yes, it was a bummer that his job could often put a damper on things, but she’d never let it show. She’d known well enough while engaged to Sean to learn to smile and keep a stiff upper lip. Dating someone in the military was hard. If she couldn’t pass the early dating test, no way could she actually commit her life to him.
Besides, her job with Open Skies had similar issues when flights got canceled or delayed. She’d even used it as an excuse to break off other relationships if the guy got pissy about it.
“Will you be out of the country?” She bit her lip.
“I can’t tell you that, Des.”
“Yeah. I know. I shouldn’t have asked. I swear I’m not going to be some clingy bitch who can’t handle your job. It’s just…”
He cupped her face. “I know.” His voice was soft. “The timing couldn’t be worse. We just got together. One date. One amazing date, let me add.”
She set her hand on top of his. “This wasn’t like some random first date. We have history. Deep feelings. We kind of rushed through the stages of dating in the first few hours. Didn’t we?” Suddenly, she felt insecure.
“Yes. We totally did. It seemed like we’ve been together for years. I want you to know I’m on the same page, Des. No second thoughts. But I have to deal with this assignment, and I don’t know how long it might take.”
His expression looked too serious. His choice of words felt off.
“What are you saying? Sounds a bit like an ‘it’s-not-you-it’s-me’ speech. Why do I get the feeling you’re making no commitment to contacting me for a while?”
He swallowed, his gaze lowering.
Fuck. She released his hand and jerked back as far as she could. “Trent, don’t do this.”
He lifted his gaze but didn’t quite meet hers. “I’m not doing anything, Des. I just don’t know how long I might be. Twice now I’ve had to leave you first thing in the morning. That’s a lot of pressure on you. It’s more than anyone should be expected to handle. I don’t want you to put your life on hold for me. It’s not fair to you.”
“Fair to me?” Her voice rose. She was panicking now.
“Des…”
She shoved his arm out of the way and scrambled off the other side of the bed. After rounding it, she faced him, hands on her hips. “What the fuck, Trent?”
He reached for her waist and t
ugged her between his legs. “Des, don’t. I didn’t mean to upset you. That shit probably didn’t come out quite right.”
“Ya think? I’m pretty sure you just told me you might have a long assignment, and I shouldn’t wait for you to come back.”
“Well—”
She shook her head vehemently and grabbed his shoulders. “Did I miss something here? Did you not drive here last night, take me out to dinner, talk to me until we’d spewed out everything we’d missed in the last decade, and then give me the best orgasm of my life? Because that’s what I thought was happening. I know you can’t blame anything on alcohol because we both had one glass of wine. You stared into my eyes and rocked my world last night. And now you won’t meet my gaze because you’ve got to go to work? That’s bullshit, Trent.”
She knew she sounded bitchy, and that pissed her off even more. Destiny never wanted to be the kind of girlfriend who’d have a tantrum and make her man’s life worse by sending him out the door for an assignment with the weight of her words on his shoulders, too. He didn’t need this shit.
But what the fuck’s happening here? She glanced to the side.
He slid his hands up her back and pulled her against his chest. His head tipped back. “Des, look at me.”
She sighed and finally met his gaze.
“I’m not blowing you off. I just didn’t want you to feel obligated to wait for me if you’d rather not. This is a harsh dose of reality. It’s my life. It’s not going to change. I’m in this for the long haul. It’s my career. It’s not fair of me to ask a woman I went on one amazing date with to put her life on hold while I fight bad guys.”
She shook her head, her heart racing, a sheen of sweat breaking out on the back of her neck. “You’re wrong. Don’t demean what we have by pretending we’re just two people who met last week and went out once. You know that’s not true. If you’re having second thoughts, fine. Fucking tell me. Don’t put it on me. Because I’m a big girl, Trent. An adult. I can make my own fucking decisions. If the man I’ve lusted after for half my damn life tells me he has to go fight bad guys and do a job, I can handle that. I can wait. I waited over a decade for the first date. None of the dating I did in that time amounted to anything close to the one date I had with you last night.”
Her voice cracked, and she knew she was on the edge of unwanted tears, but she had to get this out. “My feelings for you ran very deep before you arrived here. They only solidified more in the last twelve hours. I’m in this fucking thing, Trent. It’s messy and inconvenient as hell, but don’t—”
“Des…”
She shook her head, needing to say more. “I know I said I don’t want us to tell anyone. That hasn’t changed. I still don’t think we should breathe a word about our relationship to anyone for a while. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings. I’m just being cautious. If that’s what’s making you think I’m not interested enough to wait for you, you’re wrong.”
She shuddered, picturing the faces of the citizens of Killeen if they found out that ‘half-black girl’ who lived next to Nancy and William Dawkins had moved from one son to the other.
Nope. She wasn’t ready to face anyone yet. Especially not Nancy.
“I’m in this. So, if you’re not, man up and tell me. If you are, then kiss me, go do your job, and come back to me. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Okay.”
She heard the word but flinched anyway, her adrenaline rushing so fast she couldn’t absorb his meaning.
He flattened his palms farther on her back and pulled her closer. “Okay, Des. I’m sorry. I worry. This thing between us seems too good to be true sometimes. I half-expected to arrive here last night and find that we just felt too awkward. What if we’d simply been sucked into some romanticized fantasy for twelve years?”
She rolled her eyes.
He gave her a slight shake. “The moment I stepped out of the car, I knew I wasn’t making a mistake. We have something here. It’s solid. I’m sorry I acted like a jackass. You’re absolutely right.”
“If the tables were turned and I had to go on some long-distance flight to the other side of the world and stay for two months right now, would you lose interest in me and wish you were free to date other women?”
“No. Of course not.”
The tactic she’d used to shake off lesser men failed with Trent. Thank fuck. “Then this conversation is over. Go. Fix the world. I’ll be here when you get back.”
He smiled. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Probably not,” she teased.
“I might have limited communication on this mission. Sometimes, I’m totally cut off. I don’t think that will be the case. Not saying I can call every night and lull you to sleep with phone sex, but I can probably text some.”
She took a deep breath, forcing a smile at his mention of phone sex. “I’ll take it.”
He slid his fingers up into her hair and hauled her closer until their lips met, instantly deepening the kiss so that she melted into him. He was lethal when he kissed her. She needed to remember that.
When he finally broke free, his eyes were closed, and he was panting. “I’ll be back.”
“I’ll be here.”
Chapter 11
“Talk to me,” Trent demanded the moment he stepped into the situation room on base. The rest of the team had already assembled, so he took the empty seat and met their gazes. Merlin and Woof were across from him. Jangles was to his left. Duff to his right.
His commanding officer, Rouvin Turano, whom they usually referred to as simply Roe, stood at the head of the table. He wiped his forehead with two fingers and met Trent’s gaze. “Sorry to cut your weekend short.”
Trent nodded, not wanting to think about what he’d walked away from to deal with this shit. He needed to learn to compartmentalize if he was going to enter into a serious relationship. Thoughts of Destiny would not be permitted while he was working. He had no idea how other Deltas did it, but somehow they managed. Hell, he knew for a fact both Lefty and Trigger juggled their jobs and their women. Woof was in a relationship now, too. He should talk to Woof. Get his advice. Pick his brain. Later.
The truth was, Trent had never imagined himself in this position. He’d never expected to enter into a serious relationship with a woman. Admittedly, now that he’d hashed things out with Destiny, he realized the reason he’d never considered marriage or even a serious long-term connection was because he’d been permanently hung up on her. And, as far as he’d been concerned right up until a few weeks ago, she’d clearly not been interested, steering clear of him for a dozen years, rarely making eye contact when they did run into each other. This twist still had him reeling.
Woof turned toward Trent. “Things escalated.”
“Apparently, or you wouldn’t all be sitting here. Not sure why you thought I should continue to relax in Dallas while you all met to deal with this threat to my life.” He was pissed, but on the other hand, he knew they’d been trying to give him a break.
Turano cleared his throat. “It was my command that you be given leave. Don’t blame your team. I didn’t see things escalating so quickly. Situation changed. I called everyone in. You’re here now. Can we fucking move on?” He lifted a brow.
“Yes, sir.” Trent needed to lose the attitude and listen to the briefing.
“Good.” Roe continued. “Intelligence sources discovered something none of you are gonna like. It’s important to remember that the mission was successful. None of you have any reason to doubt your actions. You rescued all the doctors and nurses from Onur Demir’s compound with few casualties. However, as you all know, one of the shots fired hit the machine that was keeping Onur’s son alive and the kid died. New video evidence proves that shot came from Zip’s gun.”
“Fuck.” Trent groaned. It hadn’t been intentional. The boy had simply gotten caught in the crossfire. Trent would never intentionally harm a child. Hell, he’d never even unintentionally involved a child, either.
Across from Trent, Merlin narrowed his blue eyes. “Don’t even go there, Zip. We all know that kid was dying anyway. He was living on borrowed time.”
Next to Merlin, Woof set his elbows on the table. “He’s right, Zip. It didn’t matter that Demir’s army kidnapped those doctors in an effort to save his kid’s life. None of them had been able to accomplish anything. The kid was too sick, the leukemia too far gone. He was basically already dead. He wasn’t even conscious. He never even knew he’d stopped breathing.”
Trent knew they were all trying to take away the sting from his mistake, but he still felt the weight of the responsibility. Maybe the kid would have died sooner or later, but he didn’t like being the one who delivered the final blow. “Fuck.”
“Shake it off,” Roe demanded. “Our concern now is that Demir recorded everything in that room. All he had to do was slow down the video and he knew exactly who fired the shot that hit the machinery.”
“Are we certain it’s his own brother, Farid, he sent to do his dirty work?” Jangles asked as he ran a hand over his blond hair.
Roe nodded. “Either that or someone posing as Farid. The description is in line with what we know.” Roe set his hands on the table and leaned forward. “Until we know more, there is nothing we can do. Stay alert. Watch your backs. You know the drill. Business as usual.”
Trent fought the urge to roll his eyes. He was never disrespectful to his commanding officer, but he knew as well as everyone in the room that it was his ass on the line here. Not theirs.
Roe continued. “Zip, you live in the same apartment building as Woof. You don’t leave the apartment without having him at your six.”
“Got it.” He hated it, but he got it.
“I suspect Farid Demir will take his time. Watch you like a hawk when he finds you. Wait to make his move. His goal has to be to take you out.”
Trent hated the matter-of-fact way Roe so flippantly referred to his life, but it was to be expected.
Roe shoved away from the table and headed for the door. He turned back to face the room. “Your team won’t be assigned to another mission until this situation is resolved. Until then, this is your mission.”
Destiny's Delta (Special Forces: Operation Alpha) (Delta Team Three Book 2) Page 7