“Look, Darb—”
“But the thing is, no matter how unfair I know it is, there’s a part of me that wants to say yes.” She stepped closer to the desk, put her hand on the edge of it, and leaned over him before emphatically repeating, “Yes.”
“Yes, what?” he asked, just the tiniest bit intimidated by her all of a sudden.
“Yes, you should keep trying. Yes, you should put your heart out there again. Yes, you should allow it to be smashed to smithereens again, if that’s what it takes. And she should too. We all should, if given the opportunity. It’s love, Will! That’s what you do. That’s what people should do.”
“Life is not a romance movie!” He stood, and the motion caused his chair to roll back and hit against the wall. “Don’t you understand? I have nothing left! You know I love her, Darb. You know I do. But for whatever reason, I can’t convince her of that. Or maybe she knows and it’s not enough. Whatever. All I know is that on that ferry, I thought I had her back, and it was probably the best moment of my entire life. And then she was gone. She was just . . . gone. I can’t go through that again. I can’t keep trying to figure out what I did wrong, when—”
“You just shouldn’t have interfered with work, Will.” Darby exhaled and softened her posture and tone. “She’d been so convinced she could keep everything compartmentalized, but your little battlefield reenactment on the ferry called all of that into question.”
He tilted his head and stared at her in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
She settled back down into the chair, their own battlefield moment having passed. “I thought it was romantic, but she thought it crossed a line. And I do see her point. How was she supposed to keep doing her job to the best of her ability if she always had to wonder if she was being assigned projects on her own merit or as part of a setup?”
Suddenly lightheaded, he pulled his chair back over and collapsed into it. “What setup?”
“Oh, come on, Will. At first I wasn’t sure, but that whole thing was like Rom-Com 101. You even got lucky with the snow.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t plan that night. I didn’t plan any of it. I promise you.”
“You guys ready?” Kevin asked from just outside the office as he used his massive wingspan to simultaneously open the doors to both Will’s office and Ellis’s across the hall.
Will slapped himself on the forehead. “That’s right. I totally forgot.” He rushed back over to the rack, grabbed his still-damp coat, and put it back on. “Sorry, Darb. I have to run.”
Ellis walked in and responded to the confusion in Darby’s eyes. “Enzo’s awful annual poker night. I don’t know why he doesn’t just start officially calling it that and list it that way on the invitations. That’s the only way I’ve ever heard anyone refer to it.”
“Then why go?” she asked of the room in general.
“Because everyone goes,” Will answered.
Kevin nodded. “It’s true. Last year LeBron James, Peyton Manning, and Danica Patrick were all so distracted by a game of Texas Hold ’Em that they agreed to occupy the ASN booth at the Stanley Cup Finals for the next three years.”
On his way out the door, Will grabbed Darby and pulled her in for a quick hug. “You know how bad I want her back,” he whispered in her ear, “but I’m not quite sure my heart can survive more rejection.” He pulled away from her and smiled at her sadly, and she returned the emotion and the gesture.
“You could come with us, Tennyson,” Kevin offered.
She chuckled. “Oh, that is a tempting offer, but I’m sorry—very sorry—to say I have a Barry Manilow concert to go to.”
“That’s tonight . . .” Will muttered to himself.
“Larinda’s going to that concert with some friends, but that’s not surprising. I love my wife, but she has horrible taste in music. Why are you going?”
“I love my best friend, but she also has horrible taste in music.”
They all walked down the hall together, and Will, Ellis, and Kevin stepped into the elevator, and there was conversation the entire time. But Will didn’t hear a word of it. He was remembering the day he gave Cadie those tickets. She’d squealed and hugged him and made a comment about loving the fact that he knew her so well.
If only that were still the case.
“Did you know she was coming here?” Kevin asked eighty-five floors later as the elevator doors opened into the lobby.
Will looked up questioningly, and then everything stopped when they saw Cadie stepping out of the revolving door and onto the white marble floor. He struggled to catch his breath. It had been more than three weeks since he’d seen her, and the sight of her was enough to replenish his soul and make it feel as if it were being sapped dry, simultaneously.
Ellis placed his hand on Will’s shoulder. “She looks—”
“Breathtaking,” Will muttered, fully aware that he had never before seen an actual personification of the word.
She stepped aside to the corner of the lobby, out of the way, and looked down at her phone, her thumbs tapping rapidly. Will was grateful she was distracted. He would need a moment. He hadn’t seen her dressed like that in a long time—he wasn’t sure when the last time had been. Her long overcoat opened up as she shook away the snow, and he was able to see the black and white dress that couldn’t have been more flattering to her figure if it had taken to speaking in sonnets. It stopped just above her knees, revealing long legs he hadn’t had an opportunity to stare at since a summer day at Coney Island. Had that been last summer? The summer before?
Her hair was shorter than it had been on her last day at ASN. She’d worn it short not long after they met, and he’d forgotten how much he’d liked it that way. Not that he hadn’t thought she was beautiful with it long, of course, but when it was short his fingertips had always found their way to the back of her neck. He loved touching her there. He loved that when his fingers brushed across her skin she got ticklish but didn’t want him to pull his hand away.
“Shall we go say hello?” Kevin asked, yanking him kicking and screaming out of his memories. “Are you up for it?”
In response Will began walking toward her. Whether or not he was up for it was irrelevant. There was no way he was going to miss the opportunity to hear her voice. Maybe even smell her perfume.
She looked up as they approached and seemed to spot Kevin and Ellis first. It was nearly impossible not to spot them first. She reacted with a warm smile, but as her eyes met Will’s the smile morphed into something different—no less warm but certainly more complicated.
“You are a sight for sore eyes,” Ellis greeted her with his usual charisma, the words accompanied by a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
She wrapped her arms around him—at least as much as she could—and then said hello to Kevin in the same manner. There was no hug for Will, of course. Only a friendly, “Hey, Whitaker. Nice to see you.”
He tried to make himself respond in a similar tone. He knew what he was supposed to say. He knew what was acceptable—a simple “You too, McCaffrey,” or maybe even a more lighthearted, “Can’t stay away from this place, huh?” Either response would have been adequate, but right then, with her looking the way she looked and him feeling the way he felt, neither was good enough.
“You look beautiful, Cadie.”
The three who heard the words all looked somewhat uncomfortable, as if he had broken an unspoken rule and they were suddenly unsure what was supposed to happen next. Will didn’t feel that way at all. If given the opportunity, he was prepared to say a million more things he shouldn’t say.
“Thanks,” Cadie finally replied, her eyes darting to the floor. “I was going to go home and change but the train was running late. Mechanical something or other. Anyway—”
“You’re always gorgeous in anything, but this? Wow.”
He watched the heat rise to her cheeks and he felt ashamed of himself. How many opportunities had he missed? How many times had he neglected to tell her t
hat she was the most beautiful woman on the planet?
“Um, so . . . what have you been up to? Where are you working?” Kevin asked, no doubt in an attempt to defuse the awkwardness.
Cadie laughed and replied, “All those years of never taking vacation are finally paying off. I’m happy to say ASN is still supporting me. But I’ve gotten a couple offers, and I have a few more interviews lined up.”
“I hope it goes without saying, but if you need a letter of recommendation, just say the word.”
“Same goes for me,” Ellis chimed in.
She smiled. “Thanks. I really appreciate that.”
The three of them stood there uncomfortably for a few seconds more and then Kevin said, “Well, it really is good to see you, but we need to be taking off.”
Cadie’s cell phone lit up in her hands and she took a quick peek at the notification before stuffing it into her coat pocket. “Oh, that’s right. Enzo’s awful poker thing is tonight. Have fun losing all your money to whichever Williams sister it is you always lose your money to.”
Ellis rolled his eyes. “Venus. It’s always Venus.” He kissed Cadie on the cheek again and reiterated how good it was to see her.
Will wasn’t ready to say goodbye, but there was also no natural way to do anything else.
“Well,” he began, but Cadie quickly interrupted him.
“Hey, before you go, could I talk to you for just a quick second?”
Please talk to me forever. “Of course.” He turned to Kevin and Ellis, who had taken their first steps toward the exit, and called out, “I’ll meet you guys out there.”
Once they were alone, though surrounded by dozens of bustling Manhattanites coming and going, she said, “You were invited to Enzo’s, huh? That’s a pretty big deal. I hope you don’t lose all your money to Venus too.”
He chuckled. “I left my wallet at home for this express purpose, so I will be prey for no Williams sister this fair night.”
“Smart,” she replied with a smile. She looked around the lobby and then back at her feet before finally locking her eyes with his. “So, um . . . look, Will, I know now isn’t the right time—you’ve got to go and Darby will be down in a minute—but I’ve been thinking a lot. Today, especially. I don’t know if you would be open to it, but it might be a good idea if we could sit down and talk. Only if you’re okay with that. If you think it would be too weird, um—”
“No!” he interjected, not even worrying about how much his evident enthusiasm removed any façade of coolness, and certainly disregarding all of his recent resolve to protect his heart. “That would be great. Honestly, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking too, and then seeing you tonight . . . I think if we—”
“Hey, Cadie! I didn’t expect to see you here!”
Will couldn’t help but groan aloud as Anna walked up behind him. It was nothing personal against her. If Ken Griffey and the rest of the 1975 Cincinnati Reds lineup had been the ones to interrupt him, he would have greeted them with the same groan.
“Anna. Hi there.” Cadie greeted her with a smile. “I’m just meeting Darby. You doing okay?”
“Doing great,” she replied, and then she looped her arm through Will’s. She rested her other hand on his bicep and looked up at him to say, “I think I’ll just ride over to Enzo’s with you, if you don’t mind.”
Apart from the fact that his moment alone with Cadie had been interrupted, Will was unaffected by it all. “Sure,” he replied dismissively, determined not to break eye contact with Cadie. As long as she hung in there with him, they could get back to their conversation, which had been so full of promise.
But suddenly her eyes tore away from his and landed on Anna’s hand resting on Will’s arm. He looked down, and then back at Cadie, and it was as if he was suddenly able to see the entire situation through her eyes. Was Darby right? Did Cadie actually believe that something was going on between him and Anna? Between him and anyone?
“You were invited to Enzo’s poker night, huh?” Cadie asked Anna. Her focus was on Anna’s face, but her eyes still occasionally darted to hands and arms. “That’s . . . wow . . .”
“What? Does that surprise you?”
“No, not at all. Well, okay . . . maybe a little. I’ve just never known them to invite anyone who’s not on-air, or at least in management.” Cadie plastered a smile on her face. A smile Will didn’t recognize. “But that’s great. I’m sure you’ll have a great time.”
Anna laughed. “I may not be in management . . . yet.” She winked. Very annoyingly. “But I’ve become close to so many of the guys.”
She squeezed Will’s arm and he couldn’t help but flinch. He pulled away from her, not wanting to be rude but understanding more by the second that everything Anna was doing and saying could potentially give Cadie the wrong impression.
“Cadie, can we finish what we were saying?”
He leaned in and grabbed her hand, and nearly lost the ability to breathe when she flinched as he had just done in response to Anna’s unwanted touch. She pulled her fingers out of his grasp but not before he could feel how she was trembling.
“There’s Darby, so I need to go, actually.” She looked at Anna and said, “You guys have a great night. Good to see you.” Then she walked past them to meet Darby in the middle of the lobby.
Will saw Cadie speak briefly to Darby and then they began heading toward the door together.
“Darby!” Will called out. She stopped, but Cadie kept walking as Will ran over.
“What did you do?” Darby seethed as Will approached. “She texted me two minutes ago and she was in a great mood. And now—”
“I know. Listen, please tell her—”
“I’ve got to go, Will. We’ll talk later.”
She hurried out after Cadie, and Will was left feeling more alone than he could remember ever feeling. That feeling didn’t change when Anna joined him in the center of the lobby.
“You ready to go?” she asked.
Dear God, he silently prayed—finally straying from his terrible habit of trying to figure his own way out of a predicament rather than calling on God. I’m falling apart here. It’s all falling apart. Help me, Lord. I thought I was done. But I don’t think I will ever be done. Please don’t let me lose her. Please don’t let me screw it up any more than I already have. He cleared his throat in a hopeless attempt to clear away the accompanying emotions. I know I messed it all up. That’s on me. But don’t let me lose her. Help me become who she needs me to be. Help me become who you need me to be. Help me know what to say. Help me know what to do.
“Will?” Anna placed her hand on his arm again, and he immediately turned to face her.
“I think I owe you an apology. If I somehow gave you the impression that there was something going on between us apart from friendship . . .”
“No, not at all.”
She smiled, and he felt relief course through his veins—not that the relief lasted very long.
“I know you’re not ready to start dating yet,” she continued. “I understand that. I want you to know that I’m in no hurry. When you’re ready, I’ll be ready.”
He closed his eyes and sighed. How clueless was he? What else had he completely missed?
“Anna, I’ll never be ready.”
She giggled. “You say that now, and that’s totally understandable, but I mean when all is said and done. You know . . . at the end of the day.”
“I am madly in love with you, Cadie McCaffrey, and at the end of the day, I know we want the same thing—”
He shook his head. “You are a really great person, so please don’t think this is anything against you. It’s just that there will never be anyone else, and I will never move on. There will never come a time when I’m not madly in love with her, and at the end of the day, it will always be her. I will always choose her.”
He looked at his watch and then ran to the door, turning right onto Fulton Street to head toward where the car was supposed to be parked. He heard Elli
s calling his name and he ran back the other way, where he saw Ellis’s head peeking out of the window of the black town car.
“I’m not going,” Will said as soon as he reached them. “Sorry to keep you waiting, but—”
Ellis laughed. “Yeah, we figured. Get in. We’ll take you to Manilow.”
“I appreciate that, but the concert’s in Brooklyn. You guys don’t want to—”
The front passenger side door opened and Kevin’s massive build appeared beside the car. “Get in, Whitaker. Now.”
“Yes, sir.” He opened the door and climbed in beside Ellis, who had scooted to the other side.
“So where exactly in Brooklyn are we heading, gentlemen?” the driver asked.
All eyes were on Will, either via turned heads or the rearview mirror, but he had no idea.
“That’s a really good question.” Suddenly his mind was jammed with other really good questions. How would he find her when he got there? What was he going to say? “How am I going to pay?” he asked aloud with a guttural groan. “I have my phone, my ID, my Metro Card, and my keys. That’s it! I left everything else at home so I wouldn’t lose any money tonight.”
“No problem, man,” Ellis said calmly as he pulled out his phone. “I’ll get online and get the tickets.”
“Okay, thanks. I’ll pay you back.” Will pulled out his own phone and performed a quick search. “Barclays Center,” he called out to the driver, who nodded and turned onto Vessey Street.
Will experienced ten short seconds of hope, combined with the thrilling adrenaline of action, before Ellis burst his bubble.
“Sold out,” he declared.
The three of them looked at each other skeptically.
“That can’t be right. Can it?” Kevin asked.
“Are you sure you’re looking at the Barry Manilow concert?” Will asked, leaning over to peek at the phone.
Ellis turned his phone toward Will and shrugged. “That’s what it says.”
“What would you like me to do?” the driver asked as they merged onto the Brooklyn Bridge ramp.
Will stared out the window and replied, “We’ve come too far to turn back now.” They hadn’t even traveled a half mile from the office, but he knew that didn’t make the words any less true.
Wooing Cadie McCaffrey Page 22