Lillian had also chosen not to date. This was not to say that she wasn’t having fun with her colleagues. She became very adept at fending off the guys who just wanted a roll in the sack. But she couldn’t help wondering what had happened to Jason and David. Were they back in Honolulu? Had the trip been successful? She had a stack of letters from David describing their trip from Honolulu to Papeete, and Larry’s behavior. She could have written them herself from what she had perceived about Larry. And there was nothing from Jason but a kitschy postcard of a Tahitian dancer in a grass skirt and coconut shell bra with him wishing she were there.
Lillian splurged on a two-bedroom flat on Jermyn Street and signed a year’s contract for the apartment. Even though her salary was quite good, it was a gamble. If the play closed early, she would have to take in a roommate. But the play was a success. It was nominated for a number of Olivier Awards, and though Lillian didn’t receive a nomination herself, she gained a lot of recognition and her contract was extended as a result.
Jason and David entered her mind less and less and she doubted she’d ever see either one of them again, until, in February she received the following letter:
Dear Lillian,
You were right. I have to say that first off. Larry Graff was a monster. I won’t tell you all that happened in this letter because I’m writing a book about the experience. I know I’ve changed. My mother could hardly look at me. But I think there is a new spiritual revelation unfolding in me. I’ve dedicated myself to bringing it forth. I have missed you so much. You are my spiritual rock, and you are my only love. Dave said that I treated you terribly in Honolulu. If I did, I’m so sorry. I was unaware of how it all looked. I can’t take you away from your career. I saw your picture on a magazine cover at the supermarket and you looked so happy. How could I ask you to leave that? I would never do it. For the time being I’m stuck here in LA. Please be patient with me. We are destined to be together. After all I’ve gone through, I know that more than ever. I just don’t know when it will be. How can we get together?
Wait for me, my love. Give me hope.
Forever yours,
Jason
Lillian read the letter over and over. At first it made her cry, then it made her mad. Why had it taken him so long to write? Jason had a way of burdening people with his gifts. What was she supposed to do now? She had spent most of the past year holding on to her ideal concept of him, even treating their separation like a death, and now the same old Jason was knocking on her door, telling her to wait because he wasn’t ready to come in yet. Hadn’t he received her letter? Jason’s letter made her think it was strange that David hadn’t written her either since they had returned to the States. Had Jason put David off? She was more confused than ever and did not like it one bit.
Honolulu
January 1990
After Jason’s departure, David stayed in Hawaii. He found a job teaching art at the University of Hawaii. His degree from Rhode Island School of Design was in ceramics. At the university he met a group of young native Hawaiians intent on establishing more sovereignty over their land. David joined their movement and celebrated when President George H. W. Bush ordered the Navy to stop bombing the island of Kahoolawe. He decided that his artistic talent should be in support of Hawaiian cultural values and reflect a contemporary vision of traditional Hawaiian art. What if the ancient Hawaiians had had modern tools and access to clay and all the materials available today? What would they have created?
His experiences in the South Pacific supported his reimaging of designs not seen for many, many decades. His being a white man put off some of the kanaka maoli, Hawaiian natives, but others appreciated his insight and ability to teach kids starved for a cultural touchstone. Hawaii became the muse that allowed his art to flower. His students, both at the university level and at the grammar school level—he also taught kids at the Honolulu Academy of Art—inspired him. And he gave them an insight to their culture as Tocqueville had done for the United States. He dated a lot, mainly brown skinned girls, and fell for a part Hawaiian girl of exceptional beauty; yet in the back of his mind there was always Lillian. He didn’t let the irony of settling in Hawaii and becoming involved in the native culture bother him. He was nothing like Larry.
Los Angeles
July 1990
Jason was getting by in Los Angeles. He lived on a boat in the marina, surfed, and drove a taxi to make ends meet. He was writing his book. One of the black drivers at his company, invited Jason to his predominately black church. He thought Jason was struggling to find himself and asked Jason if he’d ever heard of Dr. Solomon Green. Their preacher read from Dr. Green every Sunday. Jason attended services the next week. They sang. They danced. The minister, Barry Washington, broke through traditional Christian dogma and taught a truth that Jason understood. And he had never felt such love.
When the minister overheard Jason talking to some of his congregation about mysticism, he thought Jason was a natural teacher. Jason let Reverend Washington know that he had studied with Dr. Green, and the reverend asked Jason if he’d give a class based on Dr. Green’s books. Jason eagerly accepted, and for next few months he poured himself into his classes and the sharing of his mystical consciousness.
Then, almost a year after Jason had returned to the city, the classes he taught had grown tremendously, and people came up to him and shared how his classes had healed them. On top of that, Lillian wrote Jason to say that she had landed the female lead in a big American motion picture with a star director she admired and costars she was in awe of. Her contract included a bungalow in the Hollywood Hills for six months and a large salary. Before she knew it, she was in Los Angeles. She told Jason to wait until she got settled into her bungalow before getting together. Jason, having waited so long, thought that was ridiculous. He didn’t seem to realize that Lillian had waited just as long.
At last they met at a café on Sunset Boulevard. Jason wore a long-sleeved shirt buttoned at the neck though it was a hot day. He hadn’t told Lillian about his tattoos. When he saw her he cried. Lillian felt such a relief at seeing him, she too released her pent-up desire. They embraced for a long time, kissed each other deeply, and went from tears to laughter many times. Nobody noticed. This was Hollywood.
They talked the whole afternoon. Jason told Lillian all the things he couldn’t tell his mother. She cringed and cursed at some of the incidents, and when Jason finished his story, Lillian felt like she’d been on the voyage with him. She was curious as to why Jason didn’t answer her letter. That opened up the incident with Larry refusing mail at the post office in Papeete and brought about more cursing. Lillian didn’t show how relieved she was that Jason hadn’t read it. Jason had changed, and all she wanted now was to be with him from that moment on.
Jason and Lillian lived for six months in a fantasy relationship. She had a house in the Hollywood hills and a driver to take her to work, and Jason was “house sitting” a forty-foot sloop in Marina del Rey and giving meditation classes on Venice Beach. She wanted him to move in with her, but he wouldn’t until he could afford to. They went to parties together and someone would always corner Jason and tell him their problems. By the time the person had left, Jason had missed most of the fun and the person looked renewed. Lillian hated that. Lillian though Jason had been taken advantage of and that he was always too willing to give of himself.
The first draft of Jason’s manuscript was not well received by those Jason thought would like it. His writing professor at UCLA had recommended several editors but they all rejected it. His mother hated it—no surprise there. Reverend Washington thought it was a pack of lies. He didn’t want Jason teaching in his church anymore. Lillian was stunned; it made her cry, and it filled her with so much love that she wanted to take Jason into her arms and never let him go. It also frightened her.
The moment of truth came when Lillian’s contract was up, and she needed to return to London. If they were to have a life together Jason would have to come to Lond
on. It took all her willpower not to beg him to come. It had to be his decision. Jason knew this and didn’t know why he was afraid to take the step. Was there still ego and conditioning that assumed he had to be the breadwinner? Could he not let Lillian shine and be in her shadow? Wasn’t the point of all he went through freedom? He chose love over ego.
January 1, 1991
Lillian and Jason were married on the sand at Venice Beach under a clear sky and warm sun. David flew over from Hawaii to be the best man, and Dorothy stood with Lillian. It was bittersweet for David to see Lillian, but he had to stand up for Jason. Elizabeth was out of town lecturing and members of the meditation circle were there to celebrate the nuptials. The next day the couple flew to London and Lillian immediately called her parents with the news. Lloyd Harvey wouldn’t speak to his daughter or new son-in-law.
David felt abandoned when Lillian and Jason left. Now things were settled. There was no more dreaming that Lillian could ever be his. Now he could go back to his life in Hawaii and be true to his promise to not ever again get involved with Jason’s life. Dorothy put him up for a couple of days and he visited his parents and sisters in Costa Mesa. But California was no longer his home.
On his flight back to the Islands David read a draft of Jason’s book. Everything about it was true. He’d been there. But was the world ready to go that far beyond everyday reality? He wrote Jason that if he found an audience for the book he’d be taken on the ride of his life.
The other person Jason left a manuscript with was Dorothy Delany. She had finished her project with Elizabeth and thought Jason had a real gift. She offered to edit it and Jason turned his baby over to her.
London
September 1991
Alex St. John was born in London on September 13th. Elizabeth St. John couldn’t make it to England to meet her only grandchild. Lillian’s mother came, but not her father. He would not be in the same room with Jason. He had made peace with his daughter, but he couldn’t accept an American, much less a near heathen, as his son-in-law.
In the next twelve months everything changed for Jason. His mother died unexpectedly. She had informed her secretary that she would be leaving her mortal body that morning and not to disturb her. At the end of the day, the secretary found Elizabeth St. John slumped back in her chair with a smile on her face. Jason realized that she had finally made her demonstration. There was no memorial service, per her request.
Dorothy Delany came to London bringing condolences and news of Jason’s inheritance, which could only be used to further Jason’s spiritual development. She also brought contracts from major publishers competing for the right to distribute The Undiscovered Land. Jason gave that right to a British firm and that company arranged book signings and seminars all over the world. People were healed, and Venice Beach, where Jason had started a meditation circle, became a mecca. Jason’s followers began to form their own meditation circles. People wanted pictures of Jason to pray to. Dorothy, Lillian, and Jason saw that this had to be controlled or it would take them all to hell.
Jason called David and Melanie to see if they wanted to join them and figure out how to harness the energy that was being generated by Jason’s work. He caught Melanie at the perfect time. She had grown tired of showing people around Kauai and had sold her business. Her father had died in a hiking accident that summer, and she needed a change. Jason was offering her the kind of challenge she needed. David, who had promised himself at the end of the South Seas trip that he would never again be part of a St. John adventure, felt compelled to accept. He was not on a tenured track at the University of Hawaii and hated the annual employment dance—like a lottery—where the instructors all waited to see who would be rehired for the next term. David had landed a few important commissions for hotels and the government, but they were not enough to live on in high-priced Hawaii. And, this was not a typical St. John adventure; this was about showing the world what David had already witnessed. It had to be done to justify what had happened in the Hiva Isalnds. So began the first incarnation of St. John Ministries.
Chapter 42
Stanford House
Saturday Afternoon, November 2004
Tony sat at the head of the large conference table in the boardroom waiting for the others to arrive. He finally felt the situation regarding Jason appearing out of the blue would get sorted out. With the revelation of the Baghdad episode in last night’s broadcast, he was confident that his agenda for curtailing Jason’s activities would pass the board’s vote. In addition, he thought that all board members would agree that the telecast was a disaster. It had opened the ministry to the kind of criticism and scrutiny he was trying to avoid.
Dorothy Delany arrived early and joined Tony at the conference table.
“I hope you now realize the gravity of our situation.” Tony stood as Dorothy took her seat. “We can’t allow Jason to put himself in any further situations that would violate the public trust or bring ridicule to our organization.
“The more you try to resist this, Tony, the more power you give it. It’s one of our principles. You should know that.”
Tony smiled smugly. “I’m sure you’ll vote for the best interests of the organization. You know that we’re greater than any one person, even Jason.”
Dorothy smiled back at him. “I’m aware of that.” Tony figured that Dorothy was in Jason’s camp no matter what.
Gary came in with Michael Condon, the Ministry’s treasurer. Michael had missed Tuesday’s meeting where the agenda was discarded because of the news about Jason appearing to the girls at Royal Marsdan Hospital. If he had known, he would have abandoned his meeting with a hedge fund manager who was only in London that day. He did catch Friday’s telecast of Jason trying to explain apparitions and getting gobsmacked by Theodore Spencer. There was no way he was going to miss this meeting.
Melanie and Barbara were right behind Gary and Michael, and Michael held the door for them. He gave Melanie a flirtatious kiss when she passed, but just nodded to Barbara. Tony watched, not liking the informality. He had carefully calculated the support for his plan to limit Jason’s activities within the Ministry, and he didn’t like surprises. He counted Michael firmly behind him and didn’t appreciate Melanie flirting with him. Then they sat next to each other whispering and then laughing. Tony figured Melanie to be the swing vote. Maybe Michael was bringing her to his side.
Barbara shared the latest figures from the ratings agencies for the television broadcast. They were stunning. Nearly one hundred and ten million people had watched Jason and the religious leaders, rivaling the Super Bowl in viewership. The numbers showed that many more people supported Jason than opposed him, even though Saturday’s headlines were screaming about Jason and Baghdad. Investigations were sure to follow. Barbara murmured that she wished she could have sold advertisements.
“Barbara.” Jason said, entering with Lillian on his arm, “You sound like you’re running a political campaign.”
“It’s important to know where we stand with the public,” Barbara took a seat next to Dorothy.
“Our standing with the public, according to the headlines, is precarious,” Tony responded.
Jason pulled out a chair opposite Tony at the foot of the table and Lillian took the seat next to Melanie, squeezing her hand. Tony looked at his directors, so many people on one side of the table and empty seats on the other. He hoped it wasn’t an omen as he opened the leather-bound portfolio in front of him. He looked at each person mentally calculating how they would respond to his proposal. His gaze rested on Jason. Every organization Tony had run was turned on a meeting such as this. He had restructured many companies in his business career, and the pivotal moment often dealt with telling the founder of a company that he had lost the support of the board and would be retired from day-to-day operations. In the case of Steve Jobs and Apple, that board actually fired him. Tony would love to fire Jason, except that he was the product.
“Do you have an agenda, Tony? I didn’t rec
eive one if you did.”
“No, Jason, your behavior both in Marsdan and the rumors about Baghdad have prompted this meeting and that’s all we’ll be talking about.”
Jason looked at his board. Like Tony, he took a mental note of who supported him. “Let me say this, before Tony proceeds. Those who’ve been with me from the beginning…” looking at Dorothy, Melanie and Lillian, “… know that what’s taken place this week isn’t any more outrageous than the healing that happened at our early rallies. If Dave was here, he’d tell you how the press followed us into the ocean at Malibu after our first public demonstration at the UCLA Jonsson Cancer Center. They kept yelling, ‘Is it true?’ while Dave and I were surfing.”
Tony cleared his throat. This wasn’t the time for Jason to reminisce.
“I get it, Tony. I just want all of you to really think about what you do today. People were just as shocked by that healing as they are about what’s being broadcast today. Please, listen to your inner voice.”
“This isn’t a hostile move, Jason. It’s about the future of the Ministry. Just look outside and think about your impact on the world. I understand there are demonstrations occurring outside our healing centers around the planet. You no longer have the luxury of doing what you want. You’re responsible for all those people who’ve embraced your message.”
“Wait a minute! You’re talking like a prelate of the Roman Curia. Are we a nonprofit organization or have you created a church? Is this a board of directors or the office of the inquisition?”
“Jason, you’re out of line and out of touch. You’re not just some televangelist…”
“I’m not even a minister!”
“You’re someone who has healed thousands of people. Are you so stupid as to think you can live a normal life and do all of that?”
The Atua Man Page 31