“Raegan?” Jules asked with trepidation. “Why are you laughing?”
“Because just over a year ago, I was a normal high school student with plans for a future I can no longer have. Look at me, Jules! I’m a fucking mess.”
Her arms wrapped around me as the tears returned and I finished my first official mental breakdown. We sat on my bed together for several hours, changing the subject to stories of her pack and things that made New Orleans such a special place.
She had locked up my house and moved back home a couple months ago, claiming that while the magic of Portland would forever be in her heart, it just wasn’t the same if I wasn’t there.
“Why don’t we go see if Gemma wants to come over and watch a movie with us?” Jules suggested.
“I doubt it. It’s almost midnight, and I screwed up pretty big with her,” I admitted ruefully.
“Honey, if the two of you are anything like your mom and I were, there will be many more screw-ups by both of you, and you just have to remember that a heartfelt apology goes a long way. I bet you she’s sitting in her room, waiting for you to pull your head out of your ass.”
Taking a deep breath, I stood from the bed and checked in the mirror before I dared to enter the hallway. Makeup tracked down my face from my earlier tears, but it wasn’t an ungodly sight, so I figured screw it. I didn’t really care what anyone thought of me, as long as Gemma forgave me for being an idiot.
The steps it took to get from my room to hers were like trudging through wet concrete. Nerves slammed around in my stomach like it was a bounce house, but I knew I had to push through. I owed that to Gemma. If she chose not to accept my apology, I wouldn’t hold it against her, but I had to try.
When I knocked, I heard her stomping feet coming toward the door. She still wasn’t happy.
“What?” Gemma barked when the door opened.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted out before she could disappear back into her room.
“For what?” she asked with less bite.
“For being an idiot. For pushing you away, so I didn’t have to hurt so much if something happened to you. For not being honest with you. For everything else I can’t remember right now and everything stupid I’ll probably do in the near future.”
She started to laugh, but the sound was mixed with tears. She pulled me into her arms before hitting me upside my head. “Don’t be such an idiot again. Next time, I won’t be so easy on you.”
“I’ll do my best.”
We hugged for several more minutes while the tears each of us had shed dried up. When we pulled apart, I remembered Jules was waiting on us. “My aunt made a surprise visit, and she’s staying in my room. Do you want to come watch a movie with us? I don’t want to leave her for too long since she just got here.”
“Only if I can pick it.” Gemma grinned.
And just like that, I had my best friend back, but I also had my aunt, which made the night even better. I had no idea how long Jules was going to be at Shadow Veil, and I didn’t ask. I didn’t want to know yet.
Instead, we spent the night pretending there wasn’t an evil sorceress trying to break free and rain havoc down on the world.
Two weeks later, Jules was still staying at Shadow Veil, except we were no longer sharing a bed. Headmaster Stone had given her one of the empty dorms in Hybrid Hall and said it was hers for as long as she wanted. Apparently, her keeping me from going off the deep end into depression went a long way to bending some of their rules about no outsiders staying inside the school for extended periods of time.
Not much else was better except my outlook on things. Malina was still growing stronger, and Enzo was still gone, but I’d begun to accept that even though I had started to care deeply for him, I needed to move on. He wasn’t my responsibility, and I needed to help myself before I could help anyone else. Most importantly, I needed to figure out how to remove the link Malina had to me.
Once I had accepted that, I breathed a hell of a lot easier and was able to excel in my classes once again. For a while there, I was afraid all the work I had done in the first half of the year was going to be for nothing.
“Raegan?” Headmaster Stone called from his door as I was headed to Defensive Magic with Gemma.
“Yeah?”
“I’d like to see you. You’re going to have to miss this class, I’m afraid.”
I glanced at Gemma, and she nodded. “I’ll take notes and see you at lunch.”
She gave me a hug and continued on, while I not-so-eagerly headed into the headmaster’s office.
“What’s going on?” I asked when he closed the door behind us.
“I have something I need to tell you, but I need you to listen to everything I have to say before you comment.” He seemed more nervous than I was.
“Sure, go ahead.” I’d been doing better lately. I didn’t understand what he was so anxious about, but I was about to find out.
“We found Enzo—”
“When? Where is he? Why didn’t you get me sooner?” Questions spit out before I could stop them, even though he specifically asked me not to.
Holy fucking shit. Just when I had accepted that I needed to move on… No, this was not happening. I couldn’t handle this. I stood up to leave, because my heart didn’t want to hear more. If Enzo wasn’t in this room and he hadn’t come to me first, then something was wrong.
“Raegan, I need you to stay in here and listen to me.” With a snap of his fingers, my ass fell back into the chair without my doing. “I’m sorry, but you gave me no choice.”
I tried to speak, but not even that was possible. My eyes glared at him, while I waited for him to continue, because apparently, I wasn’t going to be allowed to do anything else until he was finished.
“Enzo showed up last night concealed with dark energy. He is currently in the box we used to unlock your powers. He needs to remain there until we can strip him of the darkness consuming him. He’s slowly coming back to us, but we don’t know if there is any permanent damage.”
Damn it. I wanted to ask a million questions. Really effing bad.
“Desmond and Bennett have been with him around the clock, as have I, except to come see you just now. We are doing everything we can, but if it doesn’t work, Desmond suggested we bring you in to see if it triggers his emotions in a more positive way. Right now, he isn’t responding to anything with light or compassion. I know you’ve been through a lot trying to find him and are just beginning to come back around, but would you be willing to help him still?”
My first thought was, Of course I would. Why wouldn’t I? But then, I remembered the hurt and fear I went through. Could I really go through that again if Enzo couldn’t be saved? No, I couldn’t, but in the end, it didn’t really matter. I knew he was back at the academy, and whether I helped him or not made no difference in how much I was going to hurt again.
The wound was already opening, and my feelings for him hadn’t changed. I missed the Enzo I had grown to know, and if I could help bring him back, then I needed to do my part. I may have started to move on, but I wasn’t ready to give up when there was a real possibility of success.
I nodded, then Headmaster Stone snapped his fingers again, so I could speak.
“What would I have to do?” I asked.
“He’d stay in the box, and you’d simply just have to talk to him. Try to find any source of goodness within him. He won’t tell us where he’s been, but it’s worse than I feared, I’m afraid.”
“I’ll do whatever you need me to do, and don’t feel obligated to share any of the darker details with me.”
Enzo deserved my help, but I didn’t need the gory details of just how bad things were. If for some horrid reason we couldn’t bring him back around, I wanted my memory of him to be as positive as possible, not tainted by what Malina had done to him.
He nodded in understanding. “If you want to take the rest of the day off, I’ll excuse you from classes.”
“No, I’ll be fine, b
ut I appreciate the offer.”
At least, I hoped I would be.
Two days later, I received a summons from Headmaster Stone while I was at lunch with Gemma and Jules. I had told them all about my conversation with him, and they’d been the perfect listeners, but I could see the way they watched me. They were waiting for me to lose it again.
I had managed to hold myself together while walking toward the conference room, even though I knew I was moments from seeing Enzo for the first time in months. I had changed significantly since then and was calling on all the growth I had accomplished since last fall.
I was stronger and more capable. I was no longer letting my emotions guide me as I did my best to fight off the hold Malina had on me.
Another necklace like one Enzo had given me was never found, but I had managed to grow enough in my abilities to block her out for the most part on my own. It was only those nights that she really wanted to stick it to me that I failed to tune her out.
Those were the evenings that the nightmares came, but the following day, I’d pick myself back up and move on, because that was all I could do. I would have to do the same thing after this.
I’d face Enzo and deal with the consequences if we couldn’t heal him. There was no other choice.
Headmaster Stone waited for me at the door, his face solemn and lined with worry. “I’m sorry we have to ask you to do this. Just remember that he isn’t himself. If he says something hurtful, it has nothing to do with you. It’s the dark magic within him speaking. Malina likely did this, not you.”
His pep talk wasn’t necessary. Even though I already knew all of those things, I also knew seeing Enzo would crush me, regardless of how it ended.
“I understand, and I’m ready,” I said.
When the door was only open half an inch, I could feel Malina’s energy flooding out of the room. There was no denying she had a hand in this.
I slipped inside by myself and glanced around. Nobody else was in there except Enzo, but I refused to look at him until I was ready. There were a couple of chairs in front of his cage, so I took a seat. My eyes stared at the floor, but I could feel his burning into me the entire time. I knew that once I took him in, I wouldn’t be able to turn away.
I had to be absolutely certain I was ready when I did.
Almost a full minute later, I whispered his name as my head finally lifted, but I didn’t finish whatever it was that I wanted to say.
His eyes stopped all coherent thoughts from escaping my mouth. They were solid black, a complete contrast to the golden honey color I was used to, and my heart broke more than I thought was possible.
“Little dragon,” he replied in a voice that didn’t belong to the man I used to know.
I was in over my head. I couldn’t do what needed to be done.
I couldn’t be the one to save Enzo.
Chapter 20
My body was frozen to the chair. I couldn’t move nor speak as the evil permeating off Enzo filtered through the air in heavy waves.
“What’s wrong?” He grinned. “Didn’t you miss me? Or did you already move on in my absence? Malina mentioned you might have more than once.”
Shaking my head, I tried to gain control of the situation before I spiraled out of control. My hands rubbed over my face as I pushed out a shield to help protect myself from whatever darkness he was throwing my way.
“Very well, little dragon. You’ve come a long way in your training without me.” He clapped slowly, almost mockingly. “Which is good, because we have much to do, so why don’t you be a doll and let me out of here?”
“No. Not until you tell me where you’ve been and what you want,” I demanded, finally finding my voice once I wasn’t being assaulted with his tainted energy.
His hand pressed against the glass. “I want you. I’ve missed you, and all I want to do is hold you.” His eyes flashed the normal gold I was used to, but instead of the brown that normally swirled within the depths, black was still beneath the façade he was throwing my way.
“I don’t believe you.”
He snickered in my face. “You’re right. You were never going to be good for me. That’s why I’ve kept in contact with Lyssa this whole time. She was always the better option. I just needed to use you for a while, but now you’re worthless to me. Just a mutt with no true purpose.”
I flinched as if he physically assaulted me. His words hurt deep, but I brushed them off. I didn’t know Lyssa all that well, but I sensed he was lying. He was trying to make me mad, so I’d do something stupid, but it wasn’t going to work. Or at least, I hoped not.
I’d changed a lot, and he didn’t know me anymore.
“Is that right? I could almost say the same thing about you,” I chided. “I got what I wanted out of you when I needed it, and I’m only here because the headmaster forced my hand. I know you can sense my strength. I don’t need you, either. So, let’s cut the shit, why don’t we?”
“Ah, there’s my little spitfire.” He cackled.
“I’m your nothing, Enzo. The sooner you realize that, the better it’ll be for both of us.” The version of him before me had no claim on me, and I needed to separate my feelings for the old Enzo from the evil imitation trying to hurt me.
He shook his finger, tsking at me. “That’s where you’re wrong. While I may not need you, you most certainly need me. Malina still wants you for some ungodly reason that’s beyond me. If I don’t take you to her, she’s going to begin killing your friends one by one. Slowly. Torturously. Is that what you want?” he taunted.
“You know damn well that’s not what I want.” Crossing my arms, I stood up and marched closer to the cage. “But you know what I want more than anything? To stop evil like yourself from getting what they want.”
Placing my hand on the cage, I lashed out at him through the glass. Letting my power build, I kept my palm where it was, wishing for nothing more than to hurt Malina the way she had hurt me. I knew it was her inside him, and I didn’t want to physically injure him, but I needed to free him from her grasp.
Electricity sizzled along my skin as I began to lose control. It was exactly what Malina wanted, but I didn’t give a damn anymore. I had zero doubts that the council was watching. If I took things too far, I trusted them to come rushing in to save the day.
Enzo’s black eyes watched my every move with unabated fascination. It was as if Malina was staring back at me, wanting to see just how much I would hurt him in order to stop her. How far I might really take things against someone I cared about.
“Do it, Raegan. Kill me and make it all go away.” His head lowered, so he was standing even with me.
I wasn’t a killer. I didn’t want anyone to die by my hands, but I wanted whatever was overtaking him to hurt like I had. To feel the anguish I had felt over the last couple of months.
Tears built up in my eyes, but not a single one fell. My throat tightened, burning as my chest ached with the effort it took to keep the worst of my emotions from spilling out. The hurt only fueled my magic, though. Without really thinking about the consequences, just what I hoped the end result would be, I lashed out at him like I’d never done before in any of my trainings.
“I hate you,” I whispered.
“No, you love me so much that you think you hate me, and that’s okay with me, little dragon. Do what you have to do.”
Malina thought I still assumed Enzo to be himself, but I knew better, and she was an idiot for underestimating me. Using both fists, I pulled back just enough to give me some momentum and slammed them down on the glass. “I. Hate. You,” I repeated with clipped words.
Mist formed in the cage around him, a blood red just like the scales that were now showing up on my arms.
Holy shit. I had somehow broken through Headmaster Stone’s spell that kept my dragon side locked down. My ire toward Malina was a lot stronger than I realized, and I needed to be careful not to actually harm Enzo.
He roared in pain as my power covered him until
he was no longer visible. Glass rained down around us as the cage shattered and my magic warred with Malina’s as I watched her spirit lift from Enzo’s body into the air.
“Go back to your body. You’re not welcome here, nor will you ever be,” I snarled as I prepared for a fight.
“You’re even better than I hoped, child,” she cooed, her voice echoing around the room. “You might have gotten what you wanted this time, but I’ll be back very soon” Black mist finished lifting from Enzo’s crumpled body, and she charged toward me, apparently not quite as done as her previous words made it seem.
Her spirit form lashed out at me, latching on to my core and sucking power right from my main source. My shield had fallen when I lashed out, leaving me vulnerable to her attack, but it didn’t make me weak.
“You’re not welcome here. What part of that don’t you understand?” I snarled as I fought back against her power.
Instead of answering mine, she asked a question of her own. “When are you going to realize I’m not going to take no for an answer? You will join me, and I will be free from this place. It’s only a matter of when.”
Pushing back, I dug deep for my dragon side. I had no idea why I did, but my instincts were telling me my elven and witch sides weren’t going to be enough on their own to stop her from hurting me more than she already had.
Wings sprouted from my shoulder blades as I called on my third race for the first time. Red tinted my vision as I flapped the new additions to my back, pushing Malina’s spirit away from me with pure force.
Agony like I’d never experienced before consumed my entire being as Malina forcefully withdrew from me, taking a part of me with her as she went.
“Ah, I feel honored you chose me as the reason to wake your dragon for the first time. Those wings are just what I needed to see to confirm your progress. Next time we meet, if you’re still this difficult, I’ll rip them from your back, one by one.”
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