“It’s amazing, here, Sis, really it is. I want you and I to take a girl’s trip here next year.”
“That would be amazing,” I say, my voice slowing down. I bite my bottom lip as I can’t help but linger on the size of Shadow’s body. I’d never thought about how big he might be…well, everywhere. Not until now. But I’d not seen him half-naked till now, either.
He was breathing hard, his chest heaving, his abs dancing as he inhaled sharply, again and again.
“How’s my boy?” Diana asked.
“Jeremiah’s great,” I replied, my voice sounding far away.
Suddenly, Shadow stomped towards the woods and I watched with increased interest as he leaned down with a loud grunt, picking up a rather large piece of a fallen tree, the stump huge in his hands as he walked back towards the cabin with it. I leaned back slightly to make sure he didn’t see me standing in the window.
After a second, I peeked back and saw he was back in his original spot, his back to me slightly again, the stump on the ground in front of his feet. My eyes dilated as he leaned over, reaching down and grasping it, lifting it with a low growl, until it was straight over his head.
“What the…”
“Evie?” Diana asked. “Are you sure you’re okay? You sound weird.”
Shadow dropped the stump at this feet again, stood up, took another deep breath, and then leaned down and picked it up again, lifting it over his head once more. His massive biceps flexed, veins popping out like they were going to explode, his fingers gripping the stump with incredible strength.
“Evie!”
“What?” I asked, forgetting that I was on the phone with Diana. “Sorry, I’m just…”
“What?” she demanded. “Are you sure everything’s okay? Have you seen that guy again?”
“Guy?” I asked, watching in awe as Shadow repeatedly lifted the stump and dropped it, like it didn’t weigh as much as a Volkswagen.
“Evie! Jesus, seriously. The guy you said you saw. What was his name? Hawk?”
“Oh, right,” I said, shaking my head. “No, I haven’t seen him.” I was lying, but I didn’t want to talk about any of that. In fact, I didn’t want to talk about anything at all. “Listen, Diana, I was just about to get in the shower, okay? I gotta run. Everyone’s fine, don’t worry. You just go have fun.”
“Okay, if you’re sure…”
“I’m sure!” I said, hanging up the phone and sliding it back into the back pocket of my jeans.
Shadow walked over to his bike, grabbing a towel out of his saddlebag and wiped the sweat from his face. His hair was pushed back, his jaw set, his eyes focused and serious. I remembered what he’d looked like the other night when he was smiling and the difference was stark.
I took a moment to drink in every inch of him. The muscles in his forearms twitched as he threw the towel down on his seat, right next to his prized cut. He stretched his arms out over his head and then leaned over, his frame expanding to take up even more space, his back muscles rippling under the early afternoon sunshine breaking through the pillowy clouds overhead.
My eyes landed again on his ass, just as he turned my way fully, exchanging my view of his ass for a view of the dark trail of hair on his lower abdomen that disappeared into the waistband of his jeans.
I gasped at the sight of it, surprised by the raw sexuality of a thin line of hair. I swallowed hard, my imagination following the trail into his jeans.
I shook my head, forcing my eyes to shoot up and froze.
He was looking straight at me, his head cocked to the side, his smile perplexed, a trace of amusement in his eyes.
I jumped back from the window, rage filling my veins at his mocking eyes, and the unmistakable spark of desire igniting in my gut.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
SHADOW
Hell, I knew she was watching from the moment I stepped out there, I just didn’t care.
Let her watch.
I had nothing to hide.
Not that I could hide this huge body of mine if I wanted to, but still.
Okay, I won’t lie. Sure, it turned me on knowing she was watching.
At first, I thought she’d walk away once she saw me head out there, but she didn’t. She just kept watching. And watching. And watching.
So, yeah, I may have been showing off a little with the fucking tree stump. I didn’t have my gloves on, so I’ll be pulling splinters out of my fingertips for days, but she doesn’t need to know that.
By the time I was finished, I really thought she’d be gone. But, I turned around to face her window fully, and there she was, obviously checking out my ass, and then my half-swollen package, which by now was well on its way to graduating to a full fledged hard-on.
I guess I embarrassed her, though, by letting her know I’d seen her.
I’d have to come up with some way to repair the damage, but she was already so mad at me, I had a long distance to cover to get her to smile again.
Dammit. That sucked, too.
Because, I really liked that fucking smile.
She’s still in her bedroom when I get back into the cabin, but Jeremiah is ready to go, already pushing furniture back against the walls.
“Hey, buddy, let me help you with that,” I said.
“I’m strong, too,” he said, throwing up a flexed bicep. I nod, seriously.
“That’s impressive,” I said, reaching out to give his tiny bicep a squeeze. “Before long, you’ll be lifting hundreds of pounds.”
“Someday!” He helps me push a chair against the wall, and then runs off to find the sheets in the linen closet. My eyes fall on Evie’s door down the hallway, just as it opens up. Quickly, I turn away, not wanting her to see me staring, which is completely ironic, considering.
“Evie!” Jeremiah calls, from the bathroom. “I need help!”
She walks into the bathroom and helps him retrieve the sheets, the two of them coming out with their arms full of colorful linens.
I avoid her gaze and silently take the ones from Jeremiah, quietly setting to work to create the fort. I’d already decided not to say anything about her Peeping Tom tendencies, even though it would be a fantastic opportunity to make some great jokes. Somehow, I want to get back on her good side.
Maybe if I show her my abs again, she’ll smile.
Perhaps a few more tree stumps. Heavier, this time?
I suppress a laugh and keep working, both of them working silently alongside me. Once we’re done, we step back to inspect our handiwork.
“What do you think, son?” I ask. We’d built it so that the television was under the fort, too, so he could watch cartoons from underneath today.
“I love it!” He shouts, running under it and disappearing completely, leaving Evie and I standing next to each other. Slowly, I turn my head, and try not to let my jaw drop at her beauty.
She’s still angry, but she’s showered and her hair is wet, her skin all dewey and glowing, and it takes everything I have not to lean over and sniff her, because I can smell her slightly from feet away and I yearn for a stronger whiff of her perfume.
Lavender, maybe. Rose?
I don’t know, but she smells like a damned meadow of wildflowers and all I can think about suddenly is just how good she would smell if I shoved my nose into the crevice of her neck.
“What?” she demands.
I hadn’t realized I was staring.
Shit.
“Nothing,” I say, turning away.
“Look, we might as well make peace.”
I turn back, surprised at her little olive branch. I nod, solemnly. “I agree.”
“I mean, if we have to be locked up together…”
“Sure,” I nodded, again.
“Sorry about earlier,” she shrugged.
I shook my head, “It’s cool. Me, too.”
Although, I wasn’t sure why I was apologizing, but whatever. If it meant she’d smile a little sooner, then I’d say damn near anything.
“I was thinking of making a peach pie.”
My god, I thought. Could this woman be any sexier?
“That would be amazing,” I said, my head filling with childhood memories. “My grandma made the most amazing peach cobbler. I loved it.”
“Great,” she said, walking away and leaving me staring after her. My eyes trailed down, landing on her ass, perfectly cradled in a pair of tight jeans. I was so focused on her ass that I didn’t notice her turn back to look at me. She laughed and shook her head. “Take a picture, Shadow, it’ll last longer…”
I laughed so hard, the house was almost shaking. She winked at me, then finished walking to the kitchen, leaving me standing there alone. I shook my head and my heart soared, just a little.
Maybe the distance to her smile wasn’t that far away after all.
The day flew by, filled with endless loops of cartoons, the most delicious pie I’d had in my life, and lots of laughs between the three of us.
It was almost impossible to stay in a bad mood around Jeremiah anyway. He just simply wouldn’t allow it. And, he insisted we both stay near him most of the day, so ignoring each other wasn’t going to happen either.
By the time dinner was over, we were back to joking around with each other and it seemed as if her anger had dissipated. We put Jeremiah to bed together, and just like the night before, we spent the rest of the evening on the front porch swing, drinking and listening to music.
“You know what?” I asked.
“What?” she replied, turning her bright eyes my way.
“Maybe we should take Jeremiah to the coast tomorrow. Get away for a few hours for a change of pace.”
“That sounds great,” she nodded.
“It does, doesn’t it?” I agreed. “Since I joined up with the Gods, I don’t get a lot of time to explore the coast. It’ll be great.”
“Why did you join up with the Gods anyway?”
“My old club was basically absorbed by them, I guess. They graciously invited us in.”
“I knew that,” she said. “But why did you decide to do that, instead of just being free? Why do you want to be a part of a club anyway?”
“I thought about that,” I nodded. “I contemplated just going off on my own, once it was clear my club was over. It wasn’t an easy decision. But damn, once I found out what the Gods' were really about, I was intrigued. All my life, I’ve been selfish. Joining up with my first club was all about the money. And I made some, too. And then I lost it. That’s how it was. Make just enough to get by and then have to do it all over again. Being with the Gods allows me to not have to worry about that. I don’t have to worry about anything anymore, I just have to make sure my clients are safe.”
“So, you don’t worry about anything at all?”
“No,” I replied, realizing just how fucking blessed I was in that moment.
“Lucky you,” she said, her voice slightly laced with sarcasm.
“What do you worry about, Evie?” I asked.
She looked over at me, her eyes shining back at me, and I thought I saw the glimmer of a tear.
“I used to worry about my dad. But he died. Now, I guess I just worry about myself.”
“Sorry about your Dad,” I said. “That’s rough.”
“Yeah, I thought it was,” she said, her eyes clouding over with pain. “Turns out, the rough stuff came after he died.”
I nodded, slowly, silently, letting her continue at her own pace.
“The thing is, I always wanted a sister, you know?”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah,” she nodded. “I hated being an only child. And then, when I found out I really did have a sister, and she’d lived so close, all that time. Damn. I was so angry at my father. And there was nothing I could do with that anger. He was gone. He didn’t have to face up to his mistakes, to his betrayal. He just died. And I was left to pick up the pieces.”
She stood up, taking a few steps away. I watched as she wiped a tear from her cheek and swallowed hard.
This shit is the one thing I absolutely cannot handle.
Women crying.
Dammit. It’s like I just turn into this anxiety ridden freak when a woman cries in front of me. It’s probably why I don’t have a girlfriend, to tell you the truth. I don’t do well with emotions and entanglements and all that shit. Usually, I do the exact opposite of what is warranted in those situations. I try to bust out a joke, or change the subject, or tell them they shouldn’t cry.
Apparently, according to some stupid article I read online once, those are all the things a man should not do when a woman is upset. Fortunately for me, I finished that particular article and I came armed with the knowledge of what I was supposed to do.
I stood up, standing just behind Evie, my huge frame shadowing her tiny one.
“I’m really sorry that happened to you, Evie,” I said. “I’m here to listen anytime you want to talk about it.”
She turned around, slowly raising her gaze to meet mine. I swallowed hard as my heart started racing.
She was so damned beautiful it almost hurt.
“Can I give you a hug?” I offered, knowing I was pushing it.
To my surprise, she nodded and walked into my arms, her face pressed against my chest, as I wrapped my arms around her.
We stood there like that, wrapped up together, silent as the night around us, for a few perfect moments.
After a bit, she pulled away, staring up into my eyes. I looked down at her, emotion welling up in my chest.
Never before had I wanted to kiss someone more than I wanted to kiss her.
My eyes darted down to her lips, so full and luscious and pink, looking so warm and inviting.
“Evie,” I whispered, my head bending down, seemingly of its own will.
“Shadow…”
“Shadow, goddammit!” I jerked my head back, Slade’s voice loud in my head. “Don’t you fucking touch her!”
I pulled away like I’d been shot.
“It’s been a long day,” I grumbled. “I should hit the hay…”
I left her on the porch, completely ignoring the look of confusion on her face, my heart breaking at having to leave her without doing the very thing I suddenly wanted more than anything in the world.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
EVIE
Stunned, I locked up the cabin, turned off the lights and headed to the bedroom. I was sleeping in the guest room and Shadow had taken the couch, even though he could have slept in Slade and Diana’s bed. He’d mentioned it felt too weird, so he crashed on the sofa, even though he was way too big for it.
We’d left the fort up, though, because Jeremiah didn’t want to take it down, so by the time I’d turned off all the lights, he was hidden by all the sheets, the dim light of the television glowing through the fabric.
I stood by the entrance to the hallway, watching, waiting. For what, I don’t know. For him to change his mind and do what?
I could have sworn he was about to kiss me, but then he’d turned away so abruptly. I’d been out of the game for a while, but was I really that rusty? Had I read him wrong?
Either way, I couldn’t deny that I wanted him to kiss me.
And what did that mean?
And how did this happen anyway?
He was basically my jailer, at this point. Yeah, maybe I’m exaggerating. I know he thinks it’s for my own good.
Still, it sure is confusing.
I brushed my teeth and changed into my pajamas, lying under the covers for hours after I turned off the light, my head spinning.
I thought about Hawk, how he seemed rugged, yet refined, in an old-fashioned way. I’d been so attracted to him, but I’d never come close to kissing him, even when we’d had all that time alone.
And Shadow was the exact opposite of Hawk.
How was it possible I was in a love-triangle with two men who were just…impossible to be with?
Love-triangle. What a joke.
That’s not what
this is, Evie, I scolded myself.
I just needed to stop being so dramatic.
In just a few days, I’ll be back home, fighting off handsy customers who think because they leave me a fat tip, I owe them a healthy handful of asscheek. Those kind of men, I can handle.
And I do it with a smile.
Hawk and Shadow? They’ve got me so shaken I can’t sleep.
I toss and turn till I hear the first chirp of birdsong outside my window, and then finally close my eyes and let sleep take me.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
SHADOW
I woke in a cold sweat.
My fucking gun.
I’d left it outside in my rush to get away from Evie. I’d kept it on me every minute since Evie said she’d seen the dude again on her run, wearing it properly secured in my holster.
But once I’d gone out to sit on the swing with Evie, I’d taken it off so it didn’t get caught in the cushions.
Like a fucking idiot.
And then, I’d hugged her.
And then…well, you know the rest.
You saw what I did. I hurt her, I know that. I saw that in her eyes, and that made me get off that porch and under the covers of the fort like a shamed dog.
Fuck.
I curse myself the entire time I’m crawling out from under the fort, and head to the front door. I see Evie’s turned off all the lights and locked up, another thing I should have done myself.
I gotta get a fucking grip. I can’t let my quickly evolving feelings for her get in the way of doing this job to the best of my ability. I’m better than this.
Leaving my fucking gun outside…
What the hell is wrong with me?
I unlock the door and step out onto the porch. It’s pitch black now with all the lights off, and the night is crystal clear, not a patch of fog in sight. I look up at the midnight black sky and marvel at the amount of stars in the sky. My eyes trace them, searching for the North Star, and I find it, right over my head.
I close my eyes and make a wish, knowing it’s foolish.
I take a deep breath and turn to the swing to collect my gun and head back inside.
My blood runs cold when I see the empty holster sitting on the bench.
GHOST OF CHAOS: GODS OF CHAOS MC (BOOK TWELVE) Page 9