Adam, My Guardian Angel
Marcia Carrington
Copyright 2014 Marcia Carrington
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or deceased, is purely coincidental.
Credit for the cover images from left to right:
(C) Yuri Arcurs - Dreamstime.com
(C) Maria Danikina - Dreamstime.com
Adam, My Guardian Angel
It was a beautifully sunny autumn day, just the perfect time for a drive to the seaside after a long hot summer, and before the onset of winter. Nancy decided she wanted to visit the beach today, as she had not been there for a while, and it was the ideal day for this. After finding a space on the parking lot overlooking the beach, she got out of her car, and closed the door. She was immediately struck by the fresh wind, which blew her long brown hair into her face, partially obscuring her view of the beach down below. Nancy gathered her hair away from her face, and heard the seagulls making their familiar squeal, savoring every opportunity in the air before they began their migration to warmer locations for winter. She slowly made her way down the large wooden stairwell to the beach, holding onto the handrail. After disembarking the stairwell, Nancy found a shady spot, and sat on the warm pebbled beach.
Nancy was despondent at the direction her life had been taking lately, and it seemed as if events were taking her on a spin she could not control. Her fiancé left her for another woman, her job was in peril, and a number of other negative experiences occurred as of late, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. The last straw was the fact that she was now an outcast at work, and no one wanted anything to do with her. Nancy had been set up by a work colleague for doing something which she did not do, and everyone was convinced that it was her malicious act. The evil man in question, Carter, was so jealous of her he made it appear, beyond any doubt, that she had committed the crime. The fact that she was up for a promotion, and would have won the job which he stole from her, gave her a chill in the heart as to how life could be so cruel. She took a pebble in her hand and threw it into the ocean, landing sharply into the water, making a discernible indent.
“Today is the day, I will end it all,” Nancy said, looking out blankly at the wide blue sky, and around at the beach. It was entirely devoid of people, but she was happy for it to be this way. She did not want anyone to interrupt her from what she was about to do, or try to convince her otherwise - her mind was made up. She had made her mind up many a time, but somehow, something always got in the way. Nancy knew there was no going back, and that today was final. “I have no choice anymore - while I don’t want to end my life, there’s no other way,” she said, choking back her tears. “It will be better for everyone - no more suffering, no more fighting; I will finally be at peace.”
Nancy removed her sandals, and arose from the pebbled beach. She wanted to feel the sensation of the water on her feet one final time - this was something she loved doing since she was a young girl, and was one of her favorite experiences on the beach. She remembered those summers she enjoyed as a young girl with her parents and younger sister, when things were happy and uncomplicated, unlike now. They would stay on the beach all day long, shoveling sand into a bucket, building sandcastles, and letting the water eventually wash them away. They would watch the sandcastles wash away to nothing, but this always left the desire to build a bigger and better sandcastle next time they visited the beach. Nancy experienced a temporary inclination to bend down and gather some pebbles into a pile, and do similar to what she did as a young girl, but the allure of this quickly faded.
Nancy gradually walked towards the water, and took pleasure in the water on her feet. She closed her eyes, relishing the sensual experience of the water running backwards, and forwards, to her feet. After a minute of this, Nancy opened her eyes, and looked to the sun. Its warm radiance made her slightly regret that she would never again be seeing the sun, but, there was no other way. There were some sacrifices she had to make, and this would be one of them. At this point her mind returned to the incidents of late, and the ugliness of these zoomed into her consciousness like a thunderbolt.
Nancy recalled that she was at work one day, and had a splitting headache. She was seated at her office desk, her head in her hands, her head throbbing uncontrollably. Nancy heard her office door open suddenly, and gradually looked up to see who had come in. Without knocking, Carter sauntered into her office, with his typical smarmy smile, and casually menacing demeanor. His smile was ironic, and his summer in the sun during his vacation only made him further appear like a sleazy gigolo. Nancy did not want to look at him, but he made sure that she would eventually turn towards him, and offer him her undivided attention.
“Oh Nancy, you’ve been a naughty girl - a very naughty girl,” he said, his piercing green eyes filled with spite.
“What do you want Carter? Can’t you leave me alone in peace? You got what you wanted, so why do you continue to gloat?” Nancy said.
Carter emitted his ominous laugh, which he knew made Nancy uncomfortable, and pulled her head up to face him.
“Get with reality; you know you did the crime, and now you’ll do the time…your life is ruined, and this is the way it should be. I’ve landed the job you so wanted, but didn’t have the chance to achieve. You didn’t work smart in this situation Nancy, and now it’s your time to pay.”
Nancy attempted to put this out of her mind, but then recalled her fiancé’s reaction to her pleas that they give their relationship another chance. He was planning to move out of their apartment, and into a love nest with his new conquest. Nancy was aware he was a rampant womanizer, and should have let him go much earlier, but there was something magnetic about Randall that made her hang onto him. Nancy struggled to gain his attention as he was packing his suitcase, and preparing to leave.
“Come on Randall, I forgive you…I know I haven’t been myself lately, but this will change. Please return to me, and we can start over,” Nancy said, tears flowing down her cheeks. “There’s so much we can achieve together…”
“…And be bored for the rest of my life with your whimpering? You’ve got to be kidding. Wake up to the reality that I’ve moved on, and, with someone much better than you. You’ve wasted my time in every way…I don’t know what I ever saw in you.” This final line was the breaking point for Nancy, and it repeated in her mind over and over. Nancy shook her head repeatedly, and sighed. She looked out over at the ocean, and the dazzling blue hue of the water beckoned her towards it with its hypnotic waves.
“I can’t stand my life anymore - today is the end.”
At this point, Nancy was overwhelmed by a ray of sunshine, and, believing it would blind her if she continued to look at it, covered her eyes to shield them from harm. This burst of sunlight lasted for a few seconds, and Nancy peeked out from under her arm several times to see if it had abated, but it continued to dazzle her. After she realized that its impact had lessened, Nancy finally removed her hand from in front of her eyes, and was surprised by the sight to which she was treated. She saw a tall, bare-chested blond man watching her from afar, making his way towards Nancy from the still waters of the ocean, his glance fixed upon her.
She tried her best to ignore him, but he would not allow her to look away from him. Nancy found, for reasons unknown to her that she was becoming entranced by this handsome stranger, and he gradually approached her, his blue eyes affectionate, but strong. She wanted to back away from him and run in the other direction, but knew she had to somehow extricate herself from this pleasant intrusion. After fully emerging from the water he moved closer to Nancy, and said, in a gentle voice,
“I know what’s going on.”
It took Nancy a few seconds to adjust
to his presence, and she felt as if her throat was closed. He watched her with patience and a slight smile.
“What do you mean?” she said, the wind again picking up, and blowing her hair in her face.
“I know what’s taking place in your life right now - everything,” he said with cool reassurance.
Nancy was becoming annoyed with this unexpected intervention into her life, and her face was red with anger. She did not want to be interrupted any more than possible today, her final day on earth.
“Who are you, and what do you want?” Nancy asked.
He laughed a little, and moved a golden strand of hair from his forehead, which was wet after his appearance from the water.
“I want to help you, and I can,” he said, watching her intensely.
Nancy placed her hands on her hips, and rolled her eyes at him.
“Huh,” she said. “You’re wrong, you can’t help me, and no one can help me; I’m beyond help. Everything’s fallen apart…it’s a mess. I want to die, and leave this world - I’ve had enough.”
The man watched her with great irony, and this made Nancy uncomfortable. It seemed as if he was making fun of her, and she was in no frame of mind for this.
“What? Are you making fun of me,” Nancy said. “I’m not in the mood for this.”
“I don’t believe you,” he said. “If you wanted to die, you would’ve done that by now.”
It was still windy at this point, and Nancy again moved the hair out of her eyes.
“Oh stop this and leave me alone, I want to die,” she said, using her hand to dismiss him. “Nothing you can say, or do, will change my mind.”
He watched her, nonplussed, running his hand through his hair.
“And not take me up on my offer to help you? I know exactly what you’re feeling; please give me a chance,” he said.
Nancy chuckled mockingly, and pointed at him.
“You can help me…you? Who are you anyway?” she said. He watched her with interest. “Oh, I know what’s going on…you’re some wacko or something, some pop philosopher, that’s it…go and spout your stuff elsewhere, I’m sure you’ll find an appreciative audience somewhere…leave me alone,” she said, walking closer to the water. At this time, a great wave of water rushed towards Nancy, and, in terror, she backed away instantaneously. She shook her head at this, eyes wide with fear.
“See what I mean,” he said, with a sardonic smile. “If you really wanted to die, why did you back away in fright?”
“I…I…wasn’t frightened. I…I just wasn’t ready for it,” she said, still overwhelmed by the wave of water.
“Yes, that’s about right,” he said, nodding his head. “You’re not ready for death in any way, so stop all this…let’s sit down and talk.”
Nancy surveyed the strong waves, which were not letting up in their sudden ferocity, and surmised that maybe this man was right after all, but her feeling of immense sadness continued. The man tenderly took her by the hand, to her astonishment, and led her to a large rock, where they sat together. Nancy looked into this man’s eyes, and, for reasons unknown to her, was comfortable in his presence. It was actually the first time she had been at ease with someone in a long time.
“Who are you, and what’s your name?”
He looked at her with care, and said, “My name is Adam. I’m here for you.”
Nancy paused for a spell after hearing this. It was a rare occurrence that someone would say that they were there for her, and she thought maybe she was imagining things. When she pinched herself, though, Nancy realized that she was not conjuring any of this in her mind.
“My name is Nancy,” she said.
“I know,” he said, with a cheeky smile.
“What? How do you know my name?” she said, startled. Nancy was being served one surprise after another by him, and could not comprehend how he knew so much about her.
“Like I said, I know everything about you - why you’re suffering, and why you have everything to live for,” Adam said, his eyes becoming a little heavy with emotion.
Nancy looked away from him, and into the blue sky, and sighed.
“I wish that was true - but everything’s upside down for me.”
Adam sighed in turn, and watched her with sympathy.
“Yes, I know - your fiancé left you for another woman, you were accused of doing something you didn’t do, and are being continuously told you’re not telling the truth...”
Nancy’s mouth fell open in shock. It was the first time in recent history someone actually stated that she was not guilty of any wrongdoing, and the sensation of someone believing in her innocence was thoroughly cathartic.
“I can’t believe it - you really do know everything.”
Adam emitted a warm smile, and shook his head.
“And you didn’t believe me when I first told you that, did you?” he said, and this released a laugh from Nancy. “That’ll teach you to have some faith in people again, but I understand where you’re coming from completely.” Nancy’s nervous laugh led to her crying, and she sobbed openly, to her surprise, and fell into Adam’s warm, ready embrace. His strong, firm chest was like a sanctuary from the discomfort she had experienced for so many weeks; as if someone had thrown a blanket on her during a bitterly cold winter’s day. This approach was unlike that of her former fiancé, who was frosty and distant, and did not even want to look her in the eyes during their final few weeks together. It was as if a torrent of bad karma was pouring out of her body, and the therapeutic effect on Nancy provided her an immediate jolt of calm.
“There now, let it out, let it all out - you’ve been bottling this up so long, it’s not healthy,” Adam said.
Adam gently stroked Nancy’s burnished brown hair, and she was at total peace with him. Nancy turned to look at Adam, his steely blue eyes radiating compassion and calm, and she became absorbed just looking at him.
“Do you feel better now?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said, wiping a tear away from her eye.
“It’s always good to have someone to talk to, and, I know there are many people who would help you if you gave them the chance.”
Nancy shook her head, and frowned.
“No, I don’t think so - they’re all in to destroy what little self-worth I have left,” Nancy said quietly.
Adam chortled, and gave her a deep look.
“I don’t believe you - try them, and you’ll see,” he said, stroking her head.
“Like who?” Nancy said, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand.
“Your mother, your father, your sister...and that’s just a start,” Adam said, nodding his head.
Nancy rolled her eyes, and laughed with irony.
“My family…they don’t have time for me - all they think about is their business, and what they’re going to do next,” Nancy said. “I’m like a secondary matter in their lives.”
Adam was puzzled, and turned Nancy’s head towards him.
“You think that because you haven’t tried speaking with them, as you don’t want to bother anyone with your problems.”
Nancy shook her head, and pursed her lips.
“They’re always too busy for me,” Nancy said, biting her lower lip.
Adam again laughed quietly, and shook his head.
“You know something Nancy?” Adam said.
“What?” she asked, more alert.
“You’re making too many excuses, and none of them are true,” Adam said.
Nancy’s eyes widened, and she scowled at him.
“What are you saying, that I’m lying?” Nancy said, her façade of serenity shattering a tad.
Adam shook his head, and smiled thoughtfully.
“You’re misinterpreting what I’m saying…like I said, you haven’t tried them. You haven’t spoken to anyone for that matter, have you?” Adam stated.
Nancy paused for a moment, and looked away from Adam, and over at the ocean.
“No,” Nancy admitte
d, the wind taken out of her sails.
“If you told them you wanted to end your life, I’m sure they would’ve done anything in their power to discourage you from doing something so drastic - it would never solve anything,” Adam said. Nancy nodded at his words. “Here’s something to consider, something you may never have given any thought to.”
“What?” Nancy asked.
“What about your sister; have you thought about her?” Adam asked.
“What about her?” Nancy asked, unsure of Adam’s line of conversation. “We get along so well, I could never ask for a better sibling.”
“That’s what I’m getting at,” Adam said, pointing at the ground with much resolve. “Emily looks up to you, and sees you as a person with everything to live for; what example would you be to her if you ended your life?” Adam said.
Nancy thought about this for a second, and raised her eyebrows.
“You’re right; I’d be seen as a coward, not facing up to my problems,” Nancy said.
“Yes. If you were successful in taking your life, and your sister was in a similar predicament, she might think it acceptable to take her own life; then two people’s lives would be over, and it would continue on and on. Do you think that’s an acceptable way of handling problems?” Adam said.
Nancy shook her head.
“When you put it that way, you’re right,” Nancy said, nodding in agreement with Adam.
“If my opinion counts for anything, I think that when you get through this phase of your life, and you will, there’ll be something better for you over the rainbow,” Adam said.
Nancy’s eyes brightened at Adam’s prediction.
“Do you think so?” Nancy asked. “Will things really get better for me?”
Adam moved closer to her, his lips only millimeters away from hers.
“Yes, I do.”
With this, Adam took her face in his hands, and gave her an expression of encouragement. He then enraptured Nancy in his arms, holding her there for a couple of minutes. Nancy could not understand how this event unraveled today, and how she was on the verge of taking her life, only to be comforted by a stranger she did not know until several minutes ago. Adam’s embrace was so consoling, so reassuring, that she did not want to be released from it, and held onto Adam, not wanting to part from him. Just as Nancy was experiencing sheer contentment at long last, Adam slowly moved away from her, and stroked her hair.
Adam, My Guardian Angel Page 1