by Kate, Jiffy
“Don’t,” I say breathlessly, pulling on his strong arm at Jeremy’s throat. “He’s on something. He doesn’t know what he’s doing.”
I realize as I’m saying the words I’m not making the situation any better.
When Shaw growls, his dark eyes turning on me, I step back.
“Get out of here,” he bellows, shoving Jeremy toward the door. “I told you when I hired you that drugs were the one thing that would get you fired. I don’t have the time or patience for that shit, and I definitely won’t stand for you putting your hands on Avery.”
For a second, over Shaw’s shoulder, I see the expression on Jeremy’s face shift. Maybe Shaw’s words sink in and he realizes what he’s been doing. Whatever it is, my heart breaks for him and I want to help him even more.
“Shaw,” I plead, tugging on his arm again to get him to let go.
“No,” Shaw yells, turning his harsh gaze on me again. “This is my bar. I say who stays and he’s leaving.” Muscling Jeremy the rest of the way to the door, he holds him with one hand while twisting the handle with the other. When he kicks the door open, I hear someone else coming up behind us and turn to see who it is.
“Paulie,” I start, walking toward him as panic floods me. “Tell him to let him stay.”
He’ll listen to Paulie. I’ve seen it before. When reason fails Shaw, Paulie is the voice in the darkness. So, when Paulie just shakes his head in obvious disappointment, my body sags in defeat. “Please, he’s just going to end back up on the streets and what then?” I yell, my voice and plea turning back to Shaw.
“Not my business,” Shaw growls.
Jeremy is now stumbling around in the alley, trying to get his bearings but failing miserably.
“Please,” I start again. Not thinking, I step toward Shaw, my hands going to his chest and fisting his shirt in desperation. “I’m begging you...please don’t do this.”
His eyes bore into me and I expect him to push me away, but he doesn’t. Instead his hands cover mine and squeeze gently. “I can’t help him, Avery. He’s made his choices and I’m not going to sit back and watch a bad situation turn worse. Not on my watch.”
“Please.” I try one more time, willing him to see what I see in Jeremy—someone who has lost his way and doesn’t have anyone to turn to. “He’s my friend.”
The resolve that was firm in Shaw’s expression begins to soften as he breathes heavily, his chest rising and falling under my clenched hands. When his eyes dart to the wall and then to the ceiling, I start to realize I have a chance. He’s cracking.
“Let me go after him, then.” I know it’s a cheap shot, one he won’t let me take, but I’m out of options.
Growling his frustrations, he lets go of my hands and steps away, kicking the backdoor once again. When he walks out into the alley, I see Jeremy slumped against the wall and I run out behind him.
Shaw, assertively yet gently, pulls Jeremy up to his feet. “You should thank your lucky stars,” he mumbles, walking him toward the stairs. When Shaw practically carries him up the steps, I slump against the brick wall in relief. Paulie walks out and stands beside me, letting out a surprised laugh.
“Now, that’s one I’ve never seen before,” he muses.
“What?” I ask, confused. “I’m sure y’all have had your fair share of druggies.” My eyes are still on the door Shaw and Jeremy just went through as I try to regulate my breathing and chill the fuck out.
“Oh, those are a dime a dozen. Shaw giving one of them a second chance?” I turn to look at him, Paulie’s eyes softening as they meet mine. “Well,” he continues, “let’s just say this is a first.”
The meaning behind his statement isn’t lost on me. I kind of figured Shaw had never let anyone who came to work loaded stay. As a matter-of-fact, I’ve heard the spiel he gives on someone’s first day of work.
Rule #1 Show up.
Rule #2: Be on time.
Rule #3: No drugs. No booze.
Rule #4: Break rules one through three and you’re fired.
And everyone knows, Shaw’s rules are non-negotiable.
I don’t know what that says about me...or him...or us, but for now, I’m just thankful it’s over.
For now, at least.
Jeremy is upstairs, not on the street. Hopefully, he’ll sober up and come to his senses and I’ll be able to talk Shaw into keeping him around.
Chapter 20
Shaw
“How is he?”
I look up to see Avery standing at the doorway to my office. Checking my watch, I make sure it’s not later than I thought and I didn’t lose hours of time somewhere.
“I know,” she continues, taking a step inside. “I’m not supposed to be in for another two hours, but I was feeling antsy and CeCe didn’t need me...and I wanted to check on Jeremy. Ha—have you seen him?” Fidgeting with the strap of her backpack, she looks at me and then around my office, taking in the couch with the blanket tossed to the side.
If it’s obvious I slept here, she doesn’t say anything, she just brings her eyes back to mine expectantly.
Clearing my throat, I scoot my desk chair back and kick my feet out, resting my hands on my stomach while I try to not let her notice me checking her out. Even though she’s obviously worried about the kid, she looks beautiful. Her hair is pulled up in a loose bun on the top of her head, putting her long neck and delicate features on display. Swallowing, I finally answer her.
“He’s fine. I’ve checked on him several times and he’s been out. The apartment is stocked, so he’s got whatever he needs when he finally wakes up.”
She takes a deep breath and bites down on her bottom lip. “I still would like to go check on him. Maybe try to wake him up? I know there’s probably nothing I can—”
“There’s nothing you can do,” I finish for her, confirming her thoughts.
I watch as she squares her shoulders and tilts her chin down to level me with her stare.
“I still would like to go check on him,” she repeats with more vigor and determination. Her tenaciousness is one of the things I like most about her but it also drives me bat shit crazy.
“Avery,” I pause, choosing my words carefully. “You’re not thinking about yourself. I know that’s typical of you, but you really need to. Even if Jeremy was high as a kite last night, he was still way out of line with how he treated you. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be around him without setting some boundaries.”
She licks her bottom lip and averts her eyes, obviously not wanting to hear what I’m saying, so I make my intentions perfectly clear. “Either you do it or I will.”
Avery’s eyes squint with my statement, because that’s what it is. It’s not a threat. It’s a promise. I won’t sit back and let her care so much for the kid that she gets herself hurt in the process. Not happening. Not on my watch. When she doesn’t say anything, I continue. “Are you gonna tell me he’s never come onto you before last night?”
It sounds accusatory, but I’m not angry with her. I’m angry with the little dick upstairs. And quite honestly, I don’t know if I want her to answer the question, because if he has, I’m liable to go upstairs and kick his wasted ass and not even feel bad about it.
Her shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath before she finally relents. “Once,” she admits. “But I told him we’re just friends...if he hadn’t been high he wouldn’t have...done what he did.”
“I doubt that,” I tell her, my jaw sore from how hard I’m gritting my teeth to keep from losing my cool.
The office is quiet for a moment. I can see her trying to come to terms with what I’ve said while struggling with her intrinsic instincts to take care of Jeremy. I see the moment her need to help outweighs her need to protect herself. When she turns and makes her way out the door, I jump out of the chair and cross my office in two long strides. There’s no way in hell I’m letting her go up to that apartment by herself.
If she won’t look out for herself, then I’ll
have to do it for her.
Jogging down the hall and up the stairs, I’m at her back when she tries the door which is locked. With a frustrated huff, she turns around and crosses her arms over her chest, obvious annoyance on her face. “Can you open it...please?”
A smug smile almost comes out to play but I force it back, realizing that wouldn’t help the situation, but I like that she has to ask for my help. Because I want to help. I want to protect her...be there for her...so many things I can’t explain and I don’t know how it happened, but Avery Cole has somehow become one of the most important people in my life.
Digging the keys out of my pocket, I ignore the way my body feels when she’s standing so close and looking up at me with those big brown eyes. I quickly open the door and peek my head inside to make sure Jeremy isn’t indisposed, but he’s not on the bed.
“Hello?” I call out, looking in the direction of the kitchen.
Avery pushes around me and walks into the apartment, looking from one side to the other.
It’s empty.
“Where is he?” she asks, turning to look at me like I did something with him.
I shrug, just as confused as she is. “I don’t know. He was just here a few hours ago.”
She lets out a frustrated sigh and walks over to the kitchen to look around. “No note, no nothing?” she mutters. “Where could he have gone?”
The disappointment and worry is evident on her face and in her voice, and I wish I could take it away. I hate that this kid has gotten to her and she somehow feels responsible for his well-being.
“You know he’s an addict, right?” I ask, biting back my frustration. “You can’t force him to change? If he doesn’t want to be saved, there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.”
Avery’s beautiful face scrunches in obvious pain over my words, but then she releases a breath. “I know that. I’m not as naïve as you think I am,” she says with a huff. “I’m not stupid. I know people can’t change unless they want to.”
Of course she knows that. Avery might be fifteen years younger than me, but most of the time, her age never crosses my mind unless I’m reminded of it. She handles herself so well and approaches life in a way that’s timeless. Her care and concern for others mixed with her strong will and need to experience life to its fullest makes her more mature and aware than people twice her age.
“Jeremy is an adult. He’s made his choices in life.” I remind her of the same thing I’ve been telling myself. “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink.”
She chuckles lightly, shaking her head. “You sound like my dad.”
“Is that a bad thing?” I ask, liking the change in her demeanor. Jeremy doesn’t deserve her worry and concern. If he really cared about her, even as a friend, he would try harder, do better.
“No,” she says, looking down at her shoe as she toes the rug beneath her feet. “I’m still worried about him, though. I can’t help it. He’s my friend and he’s in trouble.”
“I’ll tell you what.” Pausing, I take a step toward her and she lifts her chin. Her eyes find mine and the depth in them practically knocks me on my ass. “I’ll call one of my buddies down at the station and ask them to be on the lookout for him. This is a big city, even if we shut the bar down and all went in separate directions, we’d have a better chance of finding a needle in a haystack.”
Twisting her lips to the side to keep from smiling, she whispers, “Thanks.”
I nod, feeling my chest expand and warmth spread. We both know I’m only doing this because of her. Sure, I care about what happens to the kid, but I’ve been through this one too many times and I know how these things go. Truth be told, he’s probably already halfway to the next town or headed back home. Most people like Jeremy can only keep it together for so long before they’re back to shooting up or popping pills...whatever his drug of choice is.
Early this morning, I got a call from Karin letting me know that she’d asked him to leave yesterday after he failed his drug test, which explains why he showed up lit last night. His period of living a normal life is coming to an end.
With one last look around the apartment, Avery finally walks toward the door. Once we’re back in the bar, she heads up to the front to help Paulie and Kevin, while I go to my office and make the call to the station as promised.
“Hello, this is Theo.” My old friend answers, his tone brisk and full of business, per usual.
“Theo, it’s Shaw.”
“Hey, man. What can I do for you?” he asks. “Already causing trouble in the Quarter this early in the evening?”
“Nah, not yet, but I do have a favor to ask.”
Theo has always been one to help out when he can. He’s broken up fights, escorted belligerent drunks, whatever I need him to do. In return, I give him and any other New Orleans PD drinks on the house when they stop in on a night off. “Shoot,” he says without hesitation.
“I have a kid that’s been working for me the last few months and he showed up high as a fucking kite last night. I put him up in my apartment to sleep it off, but this afternoon he was gone. Do you think you could put the word out and give me a call if anyone sees him?”
“Sure, man.”
“You know I wouldn’t normally do this, but...well, if you could find him, that’d be great.”
After I’ve given Theo all the information I’ve got on Jeremy, I keep myself busy with paperwork for a while. When I can’t sit still any longer, I walk down the hall into the bar. It’s a quiet night, some of our regulars are here, but for a Saturday, it’s pretty mellow. The cooler temps should bring people out, but during the holidays, we don’t get as much traffic. People are off having parties and get togethers.
I watch Avery, but she seems to be fine. Her worry and concern are put away as she waits on customers with her typical cheerful smile and easy way.
When I feel the unresolved tension I’ve been carrying around bubble to the surface, I make my way next door to check on Sarah and see how everything is going on her side. But before I can open her door, my phone rings from my back pocket.
Pulling it out, I answer without looking to see who it is.
“This is Shaw.”
“Hey, man,” Theo’s voice sounds worried, especially for a seasoned cop like him. There’s a hint of dread mixed in with it that makes my stomach drop. “Can you come into the station?”
“Uh, sure,” I tell him, pausing and turning back to the door I just walked out of. “Did you find him?”
“Aww, man, Shaw. It ain’t good.” The heavy sigh on the other end drives home the gravity of the situation, but what he says next isn’t what I was expecting. “I’ve got a D.O.A. that matches your description. We’re gonna need an identification before we can go any further.”
My stomach that dropped when he called falls to my feet as fear washes over me. A foreboding I can’t shake settles where my stomach once was. My first thought is Avery.
What’s she going to say?
How will she react?
How badly is this going to hurt her?
The thought of telling her makes me want to hurt something, but not her. Never her.
Fucking druggie.
I let out a growl and punch the door, not hard enough to do damage, just enough to take the edge off. “I’ll be down there as soon as I can.”
Walking back inside the bar, I make eye contact with Paulie over the heads of patrons.
The crowd has picked up a little and the jukebox is in full swing as life continues around me like nothing is amiss, but everything is fucking amiss. Fuck.
“I’ve gotta run down to the police station,” I tell him walking behind the bar. “I’ll be back in a while. If I’m not back before closing, lock up, okay?”
Paulie nods with concern etched all over his face. “Everything okay, boss?”
Avery’s gaze finds mine and shifts between me and Paulie. When she sees us talking quietly, her brows furrow. “Look out for her
,” I say quietly, nodding in Avery’s direction. “If I’m not back by the time she’s ready to go home, make sure she gets there safely.”
As I make my way back through the bar, I feel Avery watching me, so when I turn and meet her gaze, full of worry, I hold my phone up and mouth, “I’ll call you.” Her shoulders rise and fall with each breath and it’s like there’s an invisible string attached that pulls at me when I turn around and walk away.
Once I’m on my bike and headed to the station, I let my mind go there—thinking about Jeremy, hoping this isn’t going to be him, wishing for another chance to knock some sense into him.
For his sake.
For Avery’s sake.
For mine.
God, please let this not be the kid.
Me and the Big Guy have a shaky relationship. Ever since I spent two years and three months on my knees in the cathedral across the street, every day, never missing once—lighting a candle and saying a prayer, asking God for the one thing I couldn’t do.
Save her.
Let her live.
Take me instead.
But I didn’t get that. He took her from me and we haven’t talked much since. I remember people coming to the house in the days following Liz’s death and they would tell me things like she’s in a better place. I couldn’t believe that. Those words definitely did not help. Because I knew where she belonged and that was with me.
When I pull up to the station, I park my bike at the curb. Instead of walking straight inside and ripping the Band-Aid off, I pace in front of the lit windows, somehow trying to wish this all away.
“Shaw?”
Glancing up, I see Theo standing there.
“Hey, man.” Running a hand through my hair, I let out a pent-up breath. “I guess we should get this over with.”
“Yeah,” Theo says, holding the door open for me. Once inside, he leads me down a hallway and into a small room with a table and two chairs. It looks like an interrogation room and even though I haven’t done anything wrong, my palms feel sweaty and my heart is racing.