“If that is the case, then I am a terrible person.”
"You can be a terrible person at times," her sister put in.
Had she just spoken out loud again? She must have, how else could Cecilia have heard her? And what in heaven's name was she talking about? Elizabeth turned in her seat, her face a mask of confusion. Cecilia was still facing the other way, but Elizabeth could tell that she was listening.
“When have I ever acted terribly towards you?”
Cecilia shrugged, continuing to stare into the darkness. Elizabeth sighed. Her own sister could be a stranger at times. There would be times that they would argue – all siblings did at one time or another – but never had she behaved in a such a way as to warrant her sister's accusation.
“Ceci, when have I ever acted terribly towards you?” she repeated.
“When you keep things from me or when you refuse to see things my way.”
Elizabeth sat there, stunned. She frowned, looking at her sister as she shook her head. “Must I disclose everything about my life? Can a person not keep some things to themselves? Do I not have the right to have my own opinions and live my life as I see fit?”
Cecilia turned to her and rolled her eyes. “You always attempt to explain everything away with your open-ended questions. Do not think that I have not noted your style of debate.”
Elizabeth looked heavenward and closed her eyes. It seemed as though her sister consistently wanted to pick fights with her for no good reason.
“What is it that you wish for me to speak about? What do you wish for me to reveal to you, oh dear sister of my mother's womb?”
Cecilia brought her hand up and started counting. “Well, the first thing is that you refuse to tell me what is going on between you and the baron. Secondly, well, that does not matter anymore.”
So this is what it was all about, Cecilia wanted to know about her night with the baron. Of course, Elizabeth knew that already, but she did not realise just how desperate Cecilia was to hear of her brief dalliance with the dashing baron. Although from now on it would be anything but brief.
“Very well, what is it that you wish for me to tell you about the baron and I?”
Excitement lit up Cecilia's eyes. "How did you meet? I had not yet seen the baron, and yet you appeared with him out of nowhere. Can you imagine? My own sister appears with Lord Cavendish, and I know absolutely nothing about it."
Elizabeth could see that Cecilia would not relent on the matter. She would have to tell her something, but how much to say she was not yet certain about.
“I met Lord Cavendish by chance on the balcony. I had gone there to get some fresh air, and he was of the same mind.”
“Did you immediately recognise him?”
Elizabeth was embarrassed as she thought about the manner in which she discovered his identity.
"No, not at first. It was dark, and I did not see him, and as I did not know what his voice sounded like, there was nothing to indicate just who he was."
“But how did you come to recognise him?”
“He revealed himself to me.”
“Oh, my goodness. How did this take place? You need to tell me everything, Elizabeth. You must!”
“So that you may gossip about it?”
Cecilia's mouth dropped open before she looked away. Oh, there it was again. Her affronted expression. Why must she pretend that I do not know about her favourite pastime? Elizabeth counted backwards from ten, knowing full well that Cecilia could not resist having her say.
"How can you possibly say so? Of course, I shall not gossip about my own sister."
Elizabeth smiled wryly. "Indeed? I seem to remember a particular young lady who loves to relate news to me while we are preparing for bed."
“That is hardly the same!”
Elizabeth only laughed. “I shall say no more.”
“But you must still tell me all about Lord Cavendish. He did not leave your side this evening, not once. Surely that means something?”
“It means that he enjoyed my company. It must be wonderful not to have a woman run after you.”
And yet he was running after a woman who clearly did not love him enough to keep their private affairs private. It would be easy to label him as being a hypocrite.
Cecilia looked decidedly disappointed. “Is that all there is to it? Good company?”
“What would you have me say?”
“That he wishes to court you. Oh, Elizabeth. Would that not be the best thing in this world? I have to say that I am relieved. Even if you believe that it is all about companionship, I believe that he is looking for more. He hardly allowed his eyes to wander when he was with you.”
That was because he was pretending, not due to any interest on his part. All he was concerned with was having Diana return to him. A part of her felt bitter about it, but she did not want to think about it too much.
“I cannot speak for the baron, Cecilia. Time will tell if he decides to court me.”
She did hate to lie! This plan had put her in a tricky position between not being too obvious and saying too much, to pretending that nothing is happening at all. Should she tell Cecilia about the plan? Elizabeth thought about it for a few seconds, quickly coming to a conclusion. She could not tell Cecilia about it because it could still backfire. If anything were to go wrong, she would be risking her sister's marriage.
“Oh, I am certain that he will. You mark my words, Elizabeth. It is only a matter of time before he comes to our doorstep and requests your presence. What will you say then?”
Elizabeth knew what her sister was asking. Was she going to refuse him? Not according to the plan.
“Well, I do find him interesting, and I did enjoy his company. Due to this, I would be happy to grant his request.”
"I cannot begin to tell you how happy this makes me feel. Imagine, my sister, being courted by the baron?. Although truth be told, I am surprised that he was able to forget about Miss Lambert. I last heard that he was madly in love with her."
And he still was, but he was now hiding it. And he was going to use Elizabeth to do so.
“Perhaps he is trying to move on with his life. You did tell me she had publicly humiliated him. I am sure he would like to put that firmly in his past.”
“You are right, Elizabeth, and what better way to do it than by setting his sights on another beautiful woman?”
A woman who was going to be publicly rejected once Diana decided to come back. Well, on the bright side she would have her freedom. Once rejected, many men will cease to see her as marriage material. Anthony's rejection will paint me in a bad light, but his rejection will also free me to pursue my own interests. I doubt that Papa will be able to force anything or anyone upon me.
“I know what I shall do to celebrate this moment,” Cecilia declared.
“And what is that?”
“To write to Mama and Papa. I am sure they would like to know about the baron's interest in you.”
Oh no! Elizabeth did not need her parents to be involved just yet. She needed to first find out what Anthony's next move would be.
“I would rather you not do that just yet, Ceci. Give the baron time to make his decision. I refuse to rush things.”
"Oh, I shall not make it terribly obvious. But I must tell them of our time in London – I am sure they will be waiting to hear all about our first ball. It is my first season after all. Would you begrudge me something as simple as writing a letter to them about it?"
Her sister had indeed learned the art of turning a situation to make it appear that the other person was in the wrong. However, this time she was not going to succumb to her mind warfare.
“You may write to your heart's content. But I ask that you do not include my affairs in the letter. If there is something to be told, I shall tell Mama and Papa myself. I shall write them a letter detailing my news.”
Cecilia looked deflated. She had obviously been looking forward to being the first person to speak of Elizabeth's night
spent with the dashing Baron of Bedford.
"Oh well. That is your prerogative. Do as you will with your news."
Elizabeth knew that her sister would not be able to resist adding little hints of the truth into her letter. Perhaps it would work in her favour. Once Papa heard that there may be a gentleman interested in her, he may forget his idea of finding her a husband. The letter would prove that she were taking the matter seriously.
“Cecilia, on second thoughts, you may write about the baron and I to Mama and Papa, but do not lie. I refuse to be held responsible for any lies that you may feed them. Do I make myself clear?”
Cecilia smiled. “Crystal clear, dear sister. Oh, this is going to be wonderful. I should write to Percy and tell him that we will be married sooner than he thinks.”
Well, if this plan works out well, you will be married to your sweetheart, Anthony will have Diana once again, and I shall pursue my musical career. However, the thought of having a musical career did not fill her with the same joy she had had not so long ago. What was wrong with her?
*
Anthony could not believe his luck. Going to the ball had proven to be useful. Very useful indeed. Diana may return to him sooner than anyone thought. Who knew that this would happen? He had resigned himself to having insufferable women trying to talk up their attributes to him all the while repelling him with the very same attributes. That was until he met Elizabeth. He was not aware that women such as she even existed. A woman who was refusing marriage for a career?” Of course, he had heard of a scant few women doing so, but they were usually women who could not find a husband – well, in his opinion that was. Elizabeth could easily find a husband based on her appearance alone.
But she had chosen to give up on matrimony and take up an independent life. He could only admire her for it. He may not necessarily agree with it, but he did admire her. Such great drive was seldom found in women.
No, that was not entirely true. Diana possessed a drive, but it was not necessarily a positive one.
It was odd that he was beginning to see faults in Diana. But they did not make him love her any less. His love was not conditional.
But her love certainly is, a quiet voice in his head stated. There was no denying it, Diana clearly did not love him as he loved her.
Perhaps he had not given her ample opportunity to show her love because he had been the one to shower her with affection. She may think that the relationship was one-sided.
But it was one-sided. He did all the work while she basked and flourished in his attention. But that was the way a relationship should be. The man was the one to shower the woman with attention to let her know that she was appreciated. For once they were married, her life would soon consist of keeping him happy, running their home, seeing to their children and hosting dinners and parties. But could he deny that he had genuinely enjoyed spending time with Elizabeth? She had been his equal in every aspect, but she had not sought to try and exalt herself above him. Intelligent women were well-known for doing that, in trying to prove how much better they were than men.
Ridiculous really. That would be as if you were comparing the sun to the moon!
Women and men were miles different, not only in anatomy but in personality and thinking. That was just the way it was meant to be. Rather than trying to prove how much better they were, perhaps it would be better for them to find their match, just as he had found his match in Diana. Not for the first time a niggle of doubt started to irritate his conscience. Did he truly think that? If it were true, then why did Diana not see it as well? Surely a good match was visible to all?
He appeared to have more in common with Elizabeth than he did with Diana, which somewhat concerned him.
Why should he be more comfortable with a stranger than his own love? There had always been an edge to Diana's exterior, an edge that kept him from entirely breaking down her defences. He had believed that a marriage proposal would be just the thing to close any gaps between them. But it had only served to widen their differences. For goodness sake, she ran away from him and fled for Paris. What more could he want to show him that they are on two opposite sides of the love spectrum?
But opposites do attract, at least that is what he heard being said by others.
That would explain why he felt what he did about Diana. His love for her was an all-consuming, night-tossing, feverish kind of love. One that could easily drive a man crazy.
Diana had driven him crazy for want of her attention and love, needing to be with her. He did not know why she continued to deny her love for him.”
Although he had professed his love for her on numerous occasions, Diana had yet to reciprocate. Anthony had never been particularly bothered by her lack of declaration, for he knew that she loved him. Or at least he thought she did. One cannot be with someone for six years and not be in love. It simply was not possible, was it? He shook his head, trying to rid himself of any doubt.
His plan would work, he just knew it. Diana would be back in his arms before long, and as his wife no less. The strange thing was, he found it no hardship to be in a partnership with Elizabeth. She made things easy for him, so easy that he had momentarily forgotten that he was in a false courtship. This was the kind of relationship he hoped to have with Diana once she came to her senses. He no longer wished to put up with her theatrics, flighty ways and tantrums. They were both adults who loved each other. Therefore, their relationship needed maturity.
Of course, there needed to be an element of enjoyment too. He could not stand a boring and tedious marriage.
His thoughts travelled back to the comments she had hurled at him. She had called him boring and dull, a man she could never see herself married to.
Yet he had done everything that she had ever asked of him. How could she find him dull?
Anthony's troubling thoughts were interrupted by Felton as he walked into the drawing room.
“I had thought that you were asleep,” Anthony said. “You specifically asked to have a room ready for you were too tired to travel to your own estate.”
“Yes, I am well aware of that. But I found that I could not sleep. You have yet to tell me about the lovely young woman you paraded on your arm during the ball.”
“Do you mean Miss Ramsbury?”
Felton frowned. “Was there another woman that you spent the evening with? I only noticed the woman with the auburn hair and piercing amber eyes. Pretty mouth, too.”
Anthony found that he did not like Felton describing Elizabeth in such detail. “I would be grateful if you would refrain from being too forward about Miss Ramsbury.”
"Too forward?" Felton laughed. "You hardly know the woman. And now you seek to defend her honour?"
“I am not defending her honour. She can do that herself. But I do not like you speaking of her as though she were a piece of, of –”
“Of what?”
“Property to be inspected before purchase.”
“So then you do like her. Why did you not just say so?”
“Because it is early days yet.”
Felton shook his head. “I never did think that you would find a woman so quickly. But let me tell you that I approve, I approve wholeheartedly.”
Lords to Be Enamored With: A Historical Regency Romance Collection Page 40