"Not at all, Edmund. You've been nothing but kind and thoughtful," Lucy replied with a tentative smile, and resolutely decided to keep her worrying thoughts at bay.
"Tell me, how you have been since the last time we spoke?" she asked quickly with fresh vigor.
Edmund's piercing gaze didn't ease for a couple of seconds, and then she inwardly sighed in relief.
She'd nearly forgotten how intense he could get sometimes.
"I've been better, despite everything that has been going on. There are still pesky, unpleasant businesses to attend to, but I'll fare well."
Lucy saw the frissons of discomfort skitter across his features before disappearing into the folds of an easy smile.
"I guess I have you to thank for that, dear Lucy," he said, before she could probe deeper into the business she knew he was talking about.
Nothing, except the earl and viscount's planned framing, could have caused such discomfort as she'd seen on his face. Lucy was unaware whether he worked for other people too; perhaps some other client was causing him concerns.
His words stirred a blush into her cheeks and she lowered her lashes; partly in true shyness, partly in coyness.
"Pray tell what you mean, Edmund."
Lucy was surprised at her brazenness, but held the question lingering in her eyes. It was Edmund's turn to break their gaze, looking a little vulnerable.
"I mean, I fare well due to all the times I've had the pleasure of being in your company and speaking with you. Knowing you has eased a great deal of the weight of my responsibilities."
The admission was straight, matter-of-fact, and genuine—thus attracted Lucy strongly towards him.
He is quite open about his interest in me. I have to make sure to remind him we are just friends and there is nothing more to it, or risk hurting him. It would truly break me to hurt his feelings, when all he has done is be nice to me.
She was saved from finding the right answer for Edmund when the hackney rolled to a stop and he stepped out with flourish, reaching to help her descend.
They were by a small narrow path, less than a mile away from Rotten Row; which looked jam-packed from where Lucy was standing, with lines of carriages and curricles, mingling with lone riders, and small parties of twos and threes meandering through the street, all striving to be seen. Conversations were slightly loud, raised over the clattering of horses and rolling wheels and the occasional tittering laughter of ladies.
It was the fashionable hour, and Lucy gazed at the spectacle at the other side with longing and a great desire to know how it felt to be right in the midst of the fashionable throng.
Edmund said, "It's always a wild affair over there, don't you think? I have never understood the necessity for it all."
His expression bore distaste as they strolled down the pathway, followed several steps behind by Caroline.
"It's the life they know and love, Edmund. One that a good number of people would kill to have, without any doubt," she replied. Including me.
A brief shadow flitted past the solicitor's eyes and he shook his head. "I understand and see reasons why one might desire the life and privileges of the aristocracy. I for one, have nothing against certain privileges, but I feel the nobles should be doing more with them, rather than spending all their money on foolish things, gambling addictions, and extravagant, unnecessary acquisitions while the rest of the country lives in abject poverty."
The passion and anger in Edmund's voice and eyes told her a great deal about him. She understood his grievances quite well. She'd left the uncertain life of her small village to escape the very poverty of which he spoke.
The past months, since her arrival in the city of London, had shown her a side of the aristocracy that had totally knocked them down from the high pedestal on which she had once set them in ardent worship. But that didn't mean she wasn't interested in having the security their lifestyle presented.. Fortune always favored the brave, did it not? And she'd started on the path to seek her fortunes, at which she had not been entirely successful yet; nonetheless, even her current life was in strong contrast to the dreadful workhouse..
She agreed with Edmund to a degree, but that didn't stop her from wishing to be seated in one of those grand carriages, and have the opportunity to help others less fortunate. Why, she might be able to improve conditions in workhouses, and employ people at more dignified tasks.
Lucy said, "Well, I see your point, Edmund. It's quite depressing to see how cold and unbothered they can be about the affairs of the masses. It's good to see the few exceptions with kind, generous hearts." They drew close to a stone bench, a short walk away from the Serpentine; where a good number of splendidly-dressed bucks and younger women conversed, while children fed breadcrumbs to the ducks, flanked by their sharp-eyed nannies.
At the bench, Edmund assisted her in removing the pelisse, which he handed to Caroline nearby, before ushering her onto the seat.
"Miss Lucy, forgive me for asking, but although I heard you were from North Yorkshire, I didn't learn which county precisely," Edmund said as he joined her on the bench, maintaining a respectable distance. "I am from a small village called Selville, less than fifteen miles from Leeds myself."
Lucy's heart stopped and started, pounding vigorously. Selville was only a few miles from Wilshire, and she'd been there on quite a few occasions with her mother years ago. Oftentimes when work was scarce, before they finally were condemned to the workhouse, her mother took jobs from some of the big houses in Selville in order to meet the landlord's bills.
Tension wound its way through her spine, and she took a quick discreet breath to settle her nerves. There was no way their paths would have crossed for, they wouldn't have mingled in the same circles. Edmund might not be a noble, but he obviously had to be from a middleclass, average family who could afford his education. She wasn't noble or even middleclass. She was on the lowest rung of the ladder; an absolute nobody.
"Selville? That's marvelous. It is indeed a small world we live in!"
Was that her voice that sounded almost high pitched and shrill? Lucy produced a big smile for Edmund as she tried calming her frayed nerves. She continued, "I know of Selville, but unfortunately I'm not from anywhere close. I'm from a small town called Arlington where nothing usually happens," she lied, hating herself inwardly.
Arlington was real. She'd read about the place in an old travel journal which she'd found in the earl's library a few months ago. It was the only place in North Yorkshire that had popped into in her head.
"What a small world indeed," Edmund echoed with a reminiscing smile. "I had an old friend from school that was from near Arlington, which I recall as being itself close to Scarborough. I heard the coast is beautiful and peaceful at this season."
"Oh yes, it is!" Lucy answered too quickly and with false enthusiasm, catching herself in time, before she could tangle up in the lies. "Forgive me, Edmund, for I really do miss home sometimes," she said and lowered her eyes, this time in a sedate, almost morose manner.
Edmund's words were careful, yet soothing. "Maybe someday you'll return there for a visit. I'm sorry for bringing up unpleasant memories."
Lucy let out a sigh disguised as sadness, but which was rather relief that the matter would finally be dropped. She felt terrible about the piling heap of lies, and sincerely wished she didn't have to tell them. When she embarked on this plan in the workhouse, she had never anticipated how complicated and loathsome it would become.
"Maybe someday, I shall. You don't have to be sorry, dear Edmund. I love Arlington but it holds sad, tragic memories for me. I'd rather for us to talk about other things. Tell me what book have you been reading recently?"
Edmund looked relieved and his eyes held traces of an apology. Lucy reached out and patted his folded hands gently. A slithering of hot electricity seeped through her glove and she withdrew her hand almost immediately. Looking up at Edmund's eyes; she found they held strong awareness and a teasing light.
"I haven
't had the time to read any books recently," he admitted. "But I found a couple of new verses from Donne's latest work. I gather he is a favorite of yours?"
Lucy was pleased he had remembered and bestowed him with a warm smile. "Yes he is. Would you be kind enough to share one of the verses?"
She didn't miss the Edmund's discomfort as he adjusted his posture on the bench. "You want to hear them?"
Lucy almost laughed at the flabbergasted expression on the solicitor's face. "I would like nothing more."
All the protest seemed to slip out of Edmund and he cleared his throat quickly and began.
The words, although they were written by another man, were read and punctuated by Edmund with a great deal of emotion. Lucy felt they'd been written by him especially for her at that moment.
"That was ... beautiful, Edmund, and you read so well," she said in a near whisper, almost captivated.
"Thank you, my lady. They pale in comparison to you and your vibrant beauty."
"Thank you, Edmund. You certainly know how to make a woman feel appreciated," Lucy replied shyly, and suddenly remembering the resolve to be firm about their friendship, she straightened up, and let the smile slip slowly away.
Right then, she was distracted by a group of boisterous riders trotting behind the row of trees where they sat; which was good, seeing that she needed time to collect her thoughts.
Edmund was beginning to have a profound effect on her. Thoughts of him weakened her resolve but, after the danger of him questioning her background, she had to be extra careful.
When he pulled out an intricate silver pocket watch suddenly, Lucy found her attention riveted to it. It glinted as a ray of sun caught it; it looked slightly more feminine than the usual pocket watches she'd seen.
"Would you mind if I take a look at your watch? It's definitely eye-catching."
Edmund relinquished it to her almost immediately with a smile.
Lucy traced the simple, yet tasteful pattern and gold trim encircling the Roman numerals, before turning it over to see the initials engraved on the back.
K.C
She looked up to Edmund, unable to quell her curiosity. "Are these initials for your middle name, Edmund?"
He looked mildly uncomfortable and shy all of a sudden and shook his head, which fueled Lucy's interest to know more, but before she could ask who the initials denoted, he surprised her.
"Miss Lucy, I'd like to share something with you."
Lucy nodded with a smile. "Go ahead, Edmund."
"Since Lord Langford has extended his business in Northumberland for an additional week, I'd like to visit my parents and family. It's been almost a month since I've gone visiting and yet now seems like a perfect opportunity since the earl is away." Edmund's face was a picture of earnestness, and something resembling vulnerability, which gave Lucy a slight pause. Her thoughts were racing with imaginations about Edmund's family, and how warm and kind they'd be; just like their son.
He paused as a new realization lightened his eyes, and he shook his head with a rueful smile. "I've just remembered that I've neglected to inform my immediate younger sister, Amelia, who is almost as eager as me to visit home. She would be greatly pleased to go home.
"Your younger sister lives with you in London?" Lucy was intrigued. She imagined what kind of a big brother he would be. Definitely a protective one, she supposed. He seemed the type to be a shadow; always there, constantly watching out for others.
"She doesn't live with me," Edmund answered with a fond smile. "She stays with our mother's sister down in the West End, and is learning to be a high profile dressmaker."
"That is quite wonderful!" Lucy felt her smile splitting her face. "That means you get to see her often."
"Not often enough, I regret to say. She is often busy every day except Sundays at the modiste. But I try to go over on some afternoons and see how she's doing."
Lucy had been right. He was just like a protective shadow; coming and going, and appearing at unexpected times.
"I'm sure she's glad to have you around. I can imagine how it feels to leave loved ones for a long period of time." Lucy spoke in a low tone, her thoughts straying to her mother's grave back in Wilshire.
She would go visiting one day. When all her dreams had finally come true, and she was a woman of means. She'd go visiting her mother's grave and bring her flowers to cheer her in the afterlife. She would beautify the grave so anyone who saw it would know an important person lay resting there. A strong woman, who'd done everything and anything to raise her daughter right.
Thoughts of her mother brought up a cloud of sadness over Lucy right then, and she felt herself drifting away with the memories.
"Lucy?"
Hearing her Christian name on Edmund's lips brought her gently back to reality, and made her turn to him with soft warmth spreading across her cheeks. "Yes, Edmund."
"If things were different right now, and I'd be given the honor to court you, I would have been overjoyed to take this trip with you , and introduce you to my family. They mean the absolute world to me, and it would be the most precious thing for them to meet someone as amazing as you."
Those words, spoken with pure, unrestrained desire and sincerity, lifted Lucy's heart and she found herself blushing . "It would have been my pleasure to meet your family, Edmund. It pleases me that you view me in this light." She spoke in all honesty, feeling a tight band around her heart as his expression lightened up like that of a boy let out to play with his mates.
By the time they returned to the earl's residence, she and Edmund had fallen into an easy camaraderie, conversing easily about everything they passed on the way.
Lucy couldn't help but notice the twinkle in Caroline's eyes whenever their gazes met, and knew what the maid was thinking.
They were suited perfectly, she and Edmund. But it wasn't enough. She was too scared to imagine an uncertain future with him, wondering if they wouldn't end up in the workhouse one day. She had to stand firm and make sure her head wasn't clouded by the warmth and sweetness he presented. He was a kind man, and she couldn't ever dream of hurting him with deceit.
Chapter Seventeen
Edmund arrived one afternoon at the Earl of Langford's residence to pick Lucy up for a fun outing which he'd informed her about by letter the day before. He was surprised to see Lady Agnes propped up on a divan in the front parlor; this being an unlikely place due to her illness.
"My lady," he greeted as he approached and bowed with a smile. "It's so wonderful to see you up and about."
Lady Agnes laughed a rich tinkling sound which reminded him of the bustling, fresh-faced woman she'd always been. Although the malady had wreaked havoc on her body, and she'd lost weight and was thin and pale, a sparkle was still evident in her eyes.
"I'm hardly up and about, if you've had the perspicacity to notice, young man."
Edmund grinned. "You've not lost your mettle, madam."
Lady Agnes answered with a laugh which was inadvertently followed by a rapid cough. Edmund rushed to attend to her as a maid hurried through the door, but the older woman waved him off with her handkerchief as the cough subsided.
"Do not fret, dear boy, for there is really no use. There is only one way this dance can go and, frankly, it's getting tiring."
Although the woman's words were said mirthfully with tell-tale humor in her eyes, Edmund couldn't help feeling saddened at the bleakness of their meaning.
She was one of those rare ones, and it was heartbreaking to see her suffer. He wished there was something he could do about it. But there was nothing. There usually wasn't anything possible with sweet, kind-hearted people like Lady Agnes. They simply left the world earlier than they should, leaving their loved ones bereft and broken.
He'd seen it happen with his cousin, Judith, and that pain was still as fresh as yesterday.
Edmund found Lady Agnes studying him speculatively when he managed to drag himself from the depth of the haunting memories. Suddenly, she raised her f
rail hand and beckoned him closer.
"Come sit by me, Edmund. I would like to ask you some questions."
Edmund wasted no time in crossing the short distance between them, and assuming the chair to her right.
He didn't know why, but he suspected he knew what their tete a tete was going to be about.
"Bless your heart, young man. I'd like to say that I've been aware of the events of the past few weeks." There was a small smile at the corner of her lips. "It has come to my knowledge that you've been seen in company of my lady companion quite often in the past few days, am I right?"
Edmund had been right in his assumptions. He smiled at the woman whose expression looked jovial but firm.
"Yes I've been, my lady," he replied in all seriousness. "Miss Lucy is a delightful young woman and I find her company refreshing, enlightening, and relaxing.."
Lady Agnes' gaze pierced him sharply for a few seconds before she succumbed to a smile. "You are a fine young man, and I'm sure you wouldn't take advantage of her like some brainless buck. I just want to know your intentions regarding her because I'm quite fond of Lucy, you see, and would hate to see her taken advantage of and compromised."
"Rest assured, ma'am. I have no intention of taking advantage of Miss Lucy. I care for her quite deeply and would like nothing more than to court her, but she is yet to bestow me with the honor. Still, I await with bated breath, and would wish to take her as a wife at the end of the courtship, if it happens." Edmund surprised himself with the last part of his confession. He hadn't expected to say that but it went to show the true depth of his feelings for Lucy. He'd always wanted something quite real and strong; something like what his parents shared. Anything else would definitely pale in comparison.
It might seem too soon to anyone else, but Edmund felt certain that she was the right woman for him. He wanted to have pleasurable adventures with her, sit across from her at their dining table, wake up with her gently entangled in his arms, and make beautiful babies with her.
"Well, that is what I wanted to hear. I hope you find love and companionship together, as nothing else in life t feels complete," Lady Agnes advised with the wisdom of a woman who'd seen and done it all despite not having ever married.
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