by K. L. Savage
Like I said, I only need myself. Trusting someone will likely get me killed.
My mother killed my father in cold blood. I saw it. I testified. And I watched as they handcuffed her and sentenced her to death. She’s still serving time, and in a few more years, she’ll be executed.
Just like she deserves. It’s her fault that I am the way I am.
“Nora!” My best friend Libby meets me in the middle of the hallway like we do every Tuesday and Thursday, since her class is right across from mine. She slips her arm into mine and grins. “So don’t be mad but—”
“—What did you do?” I tug her to the side of the hallway and lower my voice. “You know I don’t want to do anything big for my birthday. Just something quiet.”
She rolls her eyes at me, huffing like a kid who doesn’t get her way. “Nora, this is your twenty-first birthday. You can be shy and cute and ‘ew’ to the world for the rest of your life after this. One night, that’s all I’m asking. You deserve to have fun. Please, let me do this for you. Please.” She rounds her big green eyes in a way that always has me caving.
“Libby,” I groan and bounce on my toes. “You know that isn’t fair.”
“Please. Please. I won’t even take you to a sorority party for the rest of the semester.”
Okay. I’m interested.
I narrow my eyes and grip the straps of my backpack. “The rest of the semester? You won’t make me go out?”
She makes an X over her heart. “I swear, but only if you put me in charge of your birthday.”
“Make it the rest of the year.”
“Semester, or I’ll drag you to the frat parties too.”
“You’re dirty,” I mumble.
“I fight to win. So. You in or you out?” She buzzes with excitement as she waits for my answer.
“Hey Libby,” Marcus, the captain of the Vegas Vipers football team, greets to her.
She curls a lip at him and doesn’t return his pleasantry. Every woman in the school knows Marcus is a dog. Libby is outgoing, friendly, and likes to have a good time, but she isn’t an idiot. She doesn’t mess around with guys who will use her.
“And it will be just us girls. Me, you, Faye, Alice, and Cora. No boys allowed.”
“This one time. That’s it?”
“That’s it,” she agrees.
“Fine.” I give in.
Libby squeals and loops her arm in mine again. “Okay, good. Because I have something planned for us tonight. I knew I’d have to convince you, but I had to plan it all ahead of time.”
“Intrigant,” I call her, meaning it as a playful insult.
“Do not make me Google you tonight, missy,” she threatens.
“I’m not making any promises.” I push the door open and wince as the sun blinds me. The campus comes to view as my eyes adjust. The mountains rise up just beyond campus and the dry air clings to my skin.
“Party pooper,” Libby chirps happily.
Libby has been my best friend since we got stuck as roommates our freshman year. She is the complete opposite of me. I have no idea what I’d do without her. She just… gets me. She doesn’t force me to be a different person, but she does force me to try new things. I didn’t know I needed that extra push until I met her.
I should have known she’d do something for my birthday since she does every year, I was just hoping she’d forget about it.
“Cazzo!” is screamed in the middle of the quad and it grabs our attention. A girl with long dark hair and olive skin bends down to start picking up her books from the ground.
“She just screamed ‘fuck’ in Italian. We should go help her,” Libby tells me, tugging my arm to the right to take the path that leads right to the girl.
“How do you know Italian suddenly?”
“I don’t, but sometimes I get curious about curse words in other languages, so I Google.”
Before I can stop her, so I don’t have to talk to anyone, it’s too late. Libby is bent over and picking up paper that’s scattered everywhere.
I run to the left when I see one sheet flying in the wind. I snag it before it gets too far away, then right as I look down, I notice a sheet right next to my foot. I step on it before it can go any further. I pick it up and walk back to where Libby and the girl are. “Here you go,” I whisper, my voice cracking like always when I talk to someone new.
“Thank you so much.” Her Italian accent is light, but it’s obvious she isn’t from here. “I’m Natalia.” She holds out her hand toward me.
“Nora.”
“And I’m Libby.” My best friend wraps her arms around Natalia in a hug, like she does everyone. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Tough day?” I ask her, noticing how frazzled she is.
“Tough year,” she grumbles, wiping her hand on her blue dress.
“Hey, well—” I can’t believe I’m doing this, “—we are celebrating my birthday tonight. You can come if you want? We are all going back to the dorm to get ready.”
Libby’s jaw drops as she looks at me.
“If you want. You don’t have to.”
“Really?” she asks, excitement lacing her voice.
She acts like she doesn’t have friends.
“Yeah, why not? I understand having a bad time of it.”
“Si. I’d love to. Grazie.”
“Come on, walk with us. You can borrow some of my clothes if you want,” Libby offers. “Looks like we are the same size. I have reservations at the new casino where Circus Circus used to be.”
Natalia stops in her tracks and grins wickedly. “You’re going there?”
“Yeah, is that okay?” Libby asks, nibbling her lip with nerves.
I have this overwhelming need to please our new friend. Now I know why I don’t talk to people. I don’t like to feel like this. The pressure to make sure everyone is happy regardless of what you want and then you have to act like you want the new plan, when really you want the old plan, but everything changed because of one person.
Sigh.
I think that makes sense.
“My Papa owns that casino. I bet I can get us whatever we wanted.”
“No way!” Libby does her screeching again when she gets excited.
“You don’t have to do that,” I say, rushing out what people say when they really want something, but act like they don’t.
“Oh, he won’t mind. Me and my Papa are close. I’ll call him as we walk.” She digs in her purse while struggling to hold her books and Libby takes them away from her. “Grazie.”
“De nada,” Libby replies.
“That’s Spanish,” I scold her.
“I don’t know how to say ‘you’re welcome’ in Italian, but how cool is this? Her father owns the place!”
“Ciao, Papa…” She takes a small detour away from us so she can talk in private. She’s speaking in Italian, that much I know since I can hear her talking, but don’t understand what she is saying.
My palms start to sweat as my mind races with tonight’s plans. If I know Libby, she’s going to make me dress in something other than a plain t-shirt and jeans. I’m not sexy like she is. I’m simple. Dresses don’t look good on me, and I don’t know how to walk in high heels. When my mom was sent to prison and my dad died, all I had was me.
I worked, took out loans for school, and when I shopped, I bought from thrift stores. What I have, is all I have. It’s just me. I’ve had to learn to be frugal. Plaid shirts tied in a knot at the side, a tank top underneath, and jeans. That’s my go to.
“Okay, my Papa says we have a never-ending tab, cash for gambling, he is getting us tickets for Cirque De Soleil. And he is sending a car for us. I just need to send him an address.”
Libby squeals again and all I can think about is how I’m going to have fun tonight and push myself out of my comfort zone. “Here, give me your phone and I’ll text the address.” Libby’s fingers fly over the screen and my anxiety begins to take over.
I want to stay in. I�
�m not a people person. I regret inviting Natalia. Yes, it was kind of her to call her father and get a free buffet of anything and everything. I appreciate it, but I don’t do crowds or fun. I like to cuddle up in my bed, grab one of my textbooks, or put on a movie. Why can’t we have a night like that?
Right, because I have to sacrifice this night in order to be free of sorority parties for the rest of the semester, and I’d almost rather dance on a table naked in front of the entire school than go to one of those parties again.
When we get to the dorm, I swipe my card on the black box that allows the door to open. We step inside, and it’s a tad bit cooler than it is outside, so it’s a bit of a relief from the desert heat. We live on the first floor, so there is no need to go to the elevators. The dorm itself is old and a bit dated, but clean. The floor’s hued yellow, but probably used to be white since smoking used to be allowed back in the day.
In the center of the lobby is a desk with a long gray linoleum counter and student signatures all over it. The secretary, Matthew, is around my age. He has shaggy red hair, freckles across his nose, and pale skin. He’s gorgeous in a unique male model kind of way, and he is sitting behind it playing a game on his phone. He never pays attention as to who comes and goes. No one cares.
On our left we have the common room. There are bean bag chairs and couches with a big flat screen on the wall. Sleepy Sam is napping on the couch near the window, which is typical. He never goes to his room and he is always there on that sofa, no others. His mouth is open, drool dripping down his chin, and no one dares to sit there because of it.
I swipe my card over another black box and swing the door open as I walk down the hall. To the left, guys. To the right, girls.
It’s like a damn orgy every night. You walk down the hall between ten and midnight, all you hear is moaning. Not all the guys can be that good at sex, so I think most of the girls put on a show to make their partners feel good. Not that I would know.
“I want you to wear that red dress of mine,” Libby starts. “Oh and I want to curl your hair. We won’t put a lot of makeup on, don’t worry. I know how you get about foundation. Makes your skin itch.” Libby opens the door and all of a sudden, an explosion of confetti springs right at our faces, at the same time Alice, Cora, and Faye scream, “Happy Birthday!”
There are balloons and streamers everywhere, and my skin starts to itch for a different reason. I can do this. I’m not the biggest fan of attention, but I’m going to swallow my grumpy attitude and let my friends do something nice for me.
Even if the only thing fueling me tonight is the fact that I’m getting out of parties for the semester. I’m excited just thinking about my nights in, textbook in hand, and my favorite blanket to my chin.
“Oh, someone is excited for the night!” Alice points out the grin I have on my face.
“How can I not be?” I question, shrugging off my backpack in hopes no one catches the reason why I’m really excited.
“Shot!” Faye lifts the bottle of tequila and Cora tilts my head back, pries my mouth open, and Faye pours the disgusting liquor into my mouth.
I go to spit, but Alice closes my jaw and pinches my nose so the only choice I have is to swallow.
Bitches.
They know me too well.
“Good girls spit, bad girls swallow!” Faye shouts.
“Imagine. Those words,” Alice spreads her hands in the air, painting a fake rainbow, “as a tramp stamp. On all of us.”
Okay. That makes me laugh. I shake my hand and take the bottle from Faye’s hand. “No. I am not getting a tattoo tonight.”
“We will see,” Alice grins, opening my closet. She starts throwing clothes behind her with distaste. “No. No. No. God. No. Do you have anything other than plaid? Good lord, Nora. You have shirts in every color. I didn’t even know they had plaid in yellow and orange. What…”
I yank the shirt out of her hand and tuck it behind me. It’s my favorite shirt.
“She isn’t wearing anything from her closest. She’s wearing something from mine.” Libby dances across to the room to her closet, her eyes never leaving mine.
The devil lives inside her. I swear.
I take a swig of the tequila and hope I don’t regret this night.
An hour later, I’m primped, waxed, and I can taste the lipstick in my throat. When I look in the mirror, I can’t believe what I’m seeing. I’m speechless. I don’t even look like myself. My hair is down and in loose curls and the lipstick matches the dress. Libby kept her word. I have on mascara, red lipstick, and blush. It’s more than what I usually wear, but that’s it. No uncomfortable foundation or glitter or… whatever else.
The dress is tight and stops right above my knee and it’s not cut so low to make me feel uncomfortable, but I have never shown so much leg. I feel… confident.
And it feels really good.
“Oh my god.” Libby stands behind me and grins.
“Oh, someone is swallowing tonight.” Faye holds up her hand and Alice slaps it for a high-five.
“The only thing I’m swallowing is liquor.” I point my finger in the mirror at all my friends. “Nothing else.”
“Sure.”
“Mhmm.”
“Just drinks,” Alice says.
Traitors.
Natalia’s phone dings. “The car is here.”
The girls scream and throw a tiara on my head and a 21st Birthday sash across my chest. I can’t believe I’m doing this.
At least my shoes are flats and not heels. Libby had my back on that too.
We are all buzzed as we charge down the hall, laughing, and I’m surprised at how good it feels to just be. As we pass the front desk, the clicks of the girls’ high heels kissing the floor, Matthew looks up from his phone. He does a double take when he sees me and something clatters behind the desk.
“Nora?” his eyes widen as he stares at me.
Faye whispers in my ear, “You sure it’s just liquor tonight?”
“Stop it.” I shove her into the door, and it flings open, causing her to lose her footing. Everyone laughs when she runs into a random guy who catches her.
I peer over my shoulder to give Matthew one last look and he is eyes are still on me. Me! It feels good to have his attention.
“Holy shit,” Alice gasps in awe.
There’s a black limo in the street waiting for us. The driver opens the back door and colorful lights strobe from the inside and students gather all around to watch us get inside.
“Ciao, Ms. Moretti,” the driver greets Natalia.
“Ciao, Steven.” Natalia kisses the older man on each cheek.
“Mr. Moretti is waiting for you at the front of the hotel.”
“Of course he is. Thank you, Steven.”
Steven chuckles as he shuts the door. We all get settled in the seats while he walks around the car. Natalia dips into the ice bucket, grabs the champagne, and with her free hand, turns up the stereo as a popular dance song comes on.
Natalia twists the top off the green bottle with a loud pop. The cork hits the roof of the car and foam spews out of the top. “Buon Compleanno!” Natalia celebrates.
I recognize the second word since it sounds like the Spanish version, and so does everyone else.
“Happy Birthday!” everyone shouts. Steven starts the drive to the Vegas strip, we dance the best we can in the small space, passing around the champagne, giggling, and taking plenty of selfies.
My face is already flush from the alcohol. I press the button to the sunroof and stand, poking my head out of the hole. The wind rushes against my face, and I spread my arms out, tilt my head back, and let myself enjoy life for once.
The Vegas strip is alive, people are crowding the streets, and neon lights are flashing everywhere. The stars are out, the moon is high, and I’m ready to have the time of my life. The car slows and we come to a brand-new hotel that used to be Circus Circus.
“Wow,” I whisper as I crane my head back and stare at how tall
and sleek the building is. It looks like it’s engulfed in black liquid glass the windows are so shiny.
“Come on.” Libby tugs at the bottom of my dress, and I duck back down into the limo as we pull into the entrance of the hotel.
When we finally come to a stop, the back door opens, and Natalia is out of the car first. “Amore mio. You look beautiful,” a thick, grim Italian accent shivers down my spine.
I want to blame it on cool air in the night for awakening my skin, but as I listen to the man speak, I know better. His voice drips power, silk, and grit. My skin pebbles, the hair standing on its ends.
“Who is the birthday girl?”
“Oh, my friend, Nora,” Natalia answers her father.
But I’m stuck in the backseat, afraid to get out of the car and meet the man that has my nerves in ruin just by the sound of his voice.
“Nora?” Libby pokes her head in the car and furrows her brows. “What are you doing?”
My heart is threatening to choke me, it’s pounding so hard. It’s going to dislodge from my chest.
“No, no backing out now. I will come in there and drag you out myself,” she threatens. “Sorry, she’s shy,” she says to him.
To him.
Wait. He’ll be old, right? With a hunchback and no hair on his head since he is Natalia’s father? Why does that have me feeling better? My heartrate slows, and I laugh at myself, placing a hand on my chest. I’m delusional. I need to calm down. I get in a dress and become hungry for men suddenly.
I need to pump my breaks.
Deep breaths in and out. In and out.
I’m fine.
I flip my hair over my shoulder and straighten my damn tiara. It’s my birthday. I’m not going to ruin it with my introvert qualities. I crawl out of the car and a hand reaches out to help me. When my hand connects with his, I feel the heat from his palm soak into mine, making me gasp. My eyes catch on the warm hues of his permanent sun-kissed skin against my pale flesh.
Straightening my spine, I lift my eyes to Natalia’s father, but who I see takes my damn breath away. There is no way this man is a father.
“I thought we were meeting your father, Natalia,” I say breathlessly as I peer into brown eyes than remind me of a dark, gloomy day.