I wrinkled my nose. “Eventually. Maybe. If I feel like it.”
She laughed, and I could finally breathe again.
Dite would survive whatever was unearthed, and some way, somehow, my friend would learn to smile again. I knew it deep in my soul. But I also knew the journey to getting there would likely be painful to all.
And unfortunately, that could not be helped. But I would be there for her, no matter what. I would always be there for her. Just as she’d once been there for me.
7
Aphrodite
I felt Calyssa’s return like a mighty wave shoving at my back. I turned on my butt and watched her walk toward us. Her pretty face was severe and clearly troubled. Hades and I had been watching ghostly lovers reunite at the entrance to the Elysian fields.
He’d held my hand for hours, saying nothing, only being there for me. This was a magical, glorious place. So few people understood or even cared to want to understand the beauty in the Underworld.
There were magical lightning bugs filling up the navy sky with their beautiful little glowing butts sparking off in intermittent bursts, and flowers that were unknown to the topside world and glowed in shades of iridescent mother of pearl, swaying softly in the honeysuckle-scented breeze. There was a moon that glowed only down here, softly lit and a very pale shade of mint green, and added a macabre beauty to everything. In short, there was love down here, and it eased my troubled heart to simply just be present.
And for the first time in months, I felt a very little bit better.
Hades released my hand, saying nothing as he stood and walked off to meet his eternal bride. He wrapped her up in his strong arms and held her tight as they gently whispered to one another as only longtime lovers could.
I turned back around, giving them their privacy. I’d promised myself when I returned to the Underworld that I would not intrude on their personal lives. And even if that meant that I was lonelier than normal at times, it was a promise I aimed to keep.
I wrapped my hand around my soft, curvy belly, feeling the pitch and roll within. I’d known for many weeks now that something was very desperately wrong with me. And I’d known exactly what it was, even though I couldn’t fathom the how of it. But I felt the life that quickened within me, and not just one, either, but many, enough to know there could be absolutely no doubt as to my pregnancy.
It was once I’d felt the life that I’d made the decision to return to Hades and Caly. Whether they’d wanted me around or not had been immaterial. They were now the only family I had left, and I couldn’t be alone, not anymore, because it was no longer just me in this. The ghost children, as I now thought of them, had given me a new sense of purpose. Of being. And the light that had very nearly been extinguished in me was coming back, slowly but surely. Because I now had a focus, something to fight for. I didn’t know how any of this was possible. I only knew that it was.
And that scared the ever-loving hell out of me. Maybe the children belonged to Hephy. We’d been trying in the other time. Maybe it had stuck and they’d been carried over with me into this new twisted world. But if that were the case, wouldn’t I have been further along?
I closed my eyes, and the image that always formed whenever I did so came back with haunting clarity. The hatred burning in Hephy’s eyes, how he’d looked at me, so viciously, cruelly. But because I’d known him so well, I’d recognized that deep down it wasn’t hate that’d made him so mean, but pain.
Unimaginable pain.
I wrapped my arms around my waist in a tight hug.
Was this why?
I could not understand the mechanics of what had occurred when the curse had befallen our worlds. All I knew was there’d been a different version of me before the curse and then after the curse, I’d taken over her body, with all my memories of the previous timeline intact and none of the memories of this one.
The only source material I had were the rumors I’d heard, but it was difficult trying to decipher if any of it was even real or nothing more than elaborate lies.
Then again, I was very pregnant. And that was absolutely no lie. I’d been hiding my now far more voluptuous body behind glamour, appearing as I should, with a flat stomach and not quite so curvy in the breasts or thighs. Mainly because I had no idea how to explain this to Caly or Hades. They weren’t my parents, and I knew they wouldn’t give two hells that I was pregnant, but it was weirdly embarrassing all the same.
I shuddered, squeezing my eyes shut and wishing I had the answers to the unanswerable. I mean, I could visit the Fates. They’d probably tell me. But the other part of the problem was that I wasn’t entirely certain I wanted to know just what the other me had done in this new world to make my Hephy hate me so.
He’d cast me out before I’d even known I was pregnant, so surely he couldn’t know that. Then again, we were gods, and far stranger things had happened.
I groaned, ripping out chunks of grass in my frustration before tossing them high and watching them float off like chaff in the wind.
“What did that grass ever do to you, my sweet one?” Caly’s dewy ocean scent wrapped me up in a velvet embrace, and I leaned my head against her shoulder once she’d taken a seat beside me.
She had no idea about my pregnancy, mostly because I still didn’t have a clue how to broach the subject. She would ask questions that I’d have no answers to. And then I would cry, and that would be humiliating.
I bit my bottom lip, and she hugged me tight with one arm. Hades sat beside me on the other side, hugging me tight with his other arm, his head on my shoulder, and I trembled as my friends and my only true family held me as if I was so very dear and precious to them.
Caly wasn’t the most patient sort. Never had been. But she didn’t utter a sound, only brushed her fingers through my hair and softly sang beneath her breath in her goddess-awful and ear-bleeding voice that was strangely soothing to me anyway.
Hades, meanwhile, was twisting his fingers through the air, calling forth the darkness of his land and creating a bouquet of shadow flowers that gleamed like black pearls before gently placing them on my lap.
I smiled softly, feeling the lump in my throat start to lessen finally.
“I am sorry,” I murmured after what could have been an hour or minutes.
“Never say sorry. Not ever.” Calyssa shook her head, staring at me boldly. Her skin was sea glass and beautiful to behold. She kissed my forehead and sighed deeply, looking at the reuniting ghosts just as Hades and I had hours before.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Hades intoned. “You’ve been treated most ill, Dite. The curse is a cruel thing, but I do believe, my friend, that you’ve borne much more than your fair share of it.”
I wiggled my toes together, biting my lower lip, stomach hurting and trembling as the magical little lives within me danced and swirled. I should tell them now.
“I…” I hiccupped. The words were so much harder to say than I’d thought they would be. I hugged my arms to my waist.
Caly’s now aquamarine eyes blazed like lanterns in the night. In some ways, she was so very different, but in others, in the ways that really mattered, she’d not changed much at all. She was a god killer to most, but to me, she was just my Caly. My sister. My friend.
Her hand pressed softly, almost tenderly to my belly, and I gasped, shocked and speechless as I stared at her, petrified and shaking as blood rushed all the way through me.
“You know you can tell us anything, right, sweetling?”
I blinked. “What?”
Hades, who was now resting his head on my lap as he toyed with the edge of my red satin gown, nodded looking severe and grave, like a beloved brother who felt compelled to speak but couldn’t quite figure out where best to start.
I stared between the two of them for several heartbeats before finally asking, “You both know, don’t you?”
Caly licked her glassy lips and looked at me for a long time before reluctantly nodding. “Hades was reading
up on our new history, trying to learn all he could of this new world we’ve been thrust into, and there was a new section. On you.”
My jaw dropped, and I scooted my legs out from under Hades’s head. He sat up, looking flushed and embarrassed, unable to meet my gaze.
“How long did you know?” I asked, voice sharp with accusation, feeling exposed by the very people who I’d never expected to hurt me so.
He shoved his fingers through his hair, causing the tips to poke straight up. “Only since yesterday. I vow it.”
Trembling with something that felt an awful lot like relief, I hugged my arms tight to my body. At least they’d not tried to keep the truth from me. That said a lot.
“What… what was in there that wasn’t there before?”
Calyssa and Hades shared a look, and I was deeply troubled by their expressions of obvious concern. I swallowed hard, palms sweating and stomach going topsy-turvy on me.
Heat flared up my throat, and I was going to vomit.
But then Caly grabbed my head, and her coolness swept through me, instantly easing my discomfort and pain.
“Dites, I have something to tell you, and before you speak, I need you to hear me out. Completely. Because this is ultimately your decision, and in this, I will wholeheartedly back you up. I’ve done something,” she whispered, and the Underworld was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.
My brows dipped. “What have you done?”
Hades, ever quick to defend his queen, cut in. “You must understand, beloved heart, that our intentions were good. But we should have asked you first. And we can undo this if you should decide. But Caly—”
Calyssa straightened her shoulders, looking regal of bearing as only an elemental of her stature could. “I went to Olympus and demanded a trial. For you and… your mate.”
I blinked. “What?” The word was barely more than a whisper. But then as the shock began to wear off and I realized what she’d truly done, I said it again, stronger, with more conviction. “What?”
She held up a finger, and though we were the very best of friends and I trusted that Calyssa would never knowingly harm me, I did know, too, that she was an elemental with an elemental’s temperament. I would hear my friend out. But I wasn’t sure what to feel or think right now.
“It was not right what those bastards were trying to do to you, Dites. It’s one thing for me to call you names, because I love and care for you. But for the whole of Olympus to believe you’re some whoremongering bitch is beyond the pale. I cannot bear it. And to see you this low.” She shuddered and squeezed my flailing hands, bringing them to her lap. “Knowing the children you will soon bear. It wasn’t right. They have to be made to see the truth. Though most of them cannot remember any other life, I saw it with my own eyes tonight. But if you want that meathead back, then bloody hell, I’m going to do all in my power to make him listen to reasoning in a setting where he will be unable to flee from his responsibilities.”
My heart clenched, and tears burned in my eyes. My initial reaction had been anger. But as I thought it through, I realized that Calyssa hadn’t done any of this to harm me, rather to help me. And how could you be angry when a friend cared so very much for you? You couldn’t. That was the end of it. “You would do that? For me?”
She sighed, no longer looking regal or imperious, but like Caly, my very dearest and best friend.
“I fear I would do a great many things for you, sweetling. My reputation is quite ruined by now, I am sure.”
I grinned. “Yes, now the rest of the pantheon knows you’ve got a great big squishy center, just like me.”
She glowered. “Do not go screeching that to the night, Dites. It’s humiliating.”
I chuckled softly, but then I grew very serious, looking at both her and Hades and softly shaking my head.
“Do you hate us?” he asked, and in the thick tenor of his lovely voice, I heard the pain he tried to hide at the thought.
I’d fought like the devil to fix my friends, to bring my family back. And though I’d been unsuccessful at repairing my bonds with Hephy, I had fixed the brother and sister of my heart.
“I could never hate you,” I said honestly, “either of you. But you do understand that a trial will expose me completely.”
Calyssa sighed. “Yes. And if there is one shame I bear in all of this, it is that. I hate the very thought of it, but deep down, I know you know that it is the only way to prove to the buggering whoresons that what you’ve claimed all along is true. What will be exposed will be the exploits of another. Not you. Once Themis taps into your memories, the truths, your truth, will be shown to the world.”
“Even the old me had skeletons, Caly,” I reminded her gently, unable to hide the pain in my voice at the thought. There’d been a time when I’d not been nice or sweet, and all the things the pantheon thought of me had very definitely been justified. There was a part of me that was vain, selfish, petty, and vindictive. It was still in me and something I fought to overcome on a near daily basis.
She grabbed my hand, brought my knuckle to her mouth, and planted a hard kiss upon it. “Don’t we all, sister. But you are an amazing, kind-hearted, and beautiful woman. Not just on the outside, but mostly on the inside. So what if you were a hagfish once? People grow. They learn. They mature. As you did. You grew to be quite wise, goddess of love and lust, and they should know that. As I do. It is time to restore you to your former glory. Stop cowering and hiding, my Dites. I cannot bear to see this tragedy anymore. The world needs you, Love. And so do your offspring.”
I swallowed the thick lump in my throat and closed my eyes. “I don’t even know whose they are.” I laughed, but through my humor came a blanket of tears. “Oh gods, the Fates were so cruel to me. I am with children, and I do not recall conceiving them or even who the bloody father is.”
Two sets of arms wrapped tightly around me. Hades, in his deep whiskey-accented voice, said, “At least in that I can be helpful. If you’d like to know the truth, Dite, I can supply you with it.”
A part of me still didn’t want to know. Because there was some bliss in ignorance. But if I was going to trial, then I’d learn it anyway. And maybe the best offense was a good defense. If I knew, I could prepare myself for what came next once the others on Mt. Olympus learned it too.
Being far braver than I’d ever been before, I looked steadily up at him. “Tell me, Hades. Who is the father?”
His smile was soft, gentle. But his words were strong and powerful. “Ares. Ares is the father. And you now carry Phobos, Himeros, and Deimos—fear, lust, and dread. You also have four other children from him in this new world, offspring you conceived long before your handfasting to Hephaestus. Adestria, Anteros, Eros, and Harmonia—revenge, requited love, sexual desire, and harmony.”
A cry like that of a wounded animal sprang from my lips, and wherever my tears fell, spiraling formations were birthed, creating a garden of glittering gemstones to add to the beauty that was Elysia.
I now understood why Hephy hated me, and my heart broke in two all over again. The one promise I’d ever given him in the other world was surely the same one I’d given him in this one. And unlike before, I’d very clearly broken faith with him.
He would never forgive me for this.
Not ever. I was sure of it.
But maybe Caly and Hades were right. I was tired of shouldering the burden of another alone. I was done playing the martyr. It was time to show them my side of the story. Tell my truth. And maybe then I could finally be free of all this pain. Because I was about to step into the role of mother, and I had to give them all of me, not just the scraps of me. If Hephy didn’t want me anymore, then fine. I would learn to live without him. It would be a pain most brutal, but I would learn, because I had no choice in the matter anymore.
Looking at Caly, I dipped my head and, in a strong, unwavering voice, said, “Let us do this thing, Calyssa. Together. As we’ve always done.”
“Always,” she whispered
right back at me.
And together the three of us sat right where we were until the cock crowed thrice the next morning.
Caly stood, and so did Hades, and together they held out their hands to me. I took each one. And just as she’d promised, together we went to Themis’s hall of justice.
It was time to lay these demons to bed. And no matter what I saw or what I learned, I knew I wasn’t alone anymore.
And that was enough.
8
Hephaestus
I groaned as a sharp snapping slap woke me up from the empty darkness I’d been floating in.
When I blinked, it was to see a jury of my peers standing around me, all of them looking somber, a few even angry.
Hera and Zeus were at the center of the throng, and the displeasure that coursed off of Mother was enough to make me flinch. Whatever had happened during the moments now lost to me, she squarely blamed me for them.
Zeus looked at me unflinchingly, not like a father or even a concerned friend. More like I was nothing to him. I could be window dressing, for all he cared. My stomach flipped with nerves, and I turned my eyes away from them. I wasn’t sure what was happening. But I knew, based on the marble statues of justice standing fifty feet high in the mighty chambers of truth, that I was on trial.
Memories of my conversation with Calyssa came back in a flash, and I flinched as I recalled her twisting my body into a shape that no man should ever be twisted into. My last memory had been that she’d killed me.
I jerked in relieved shock and only then realized that I was chained fast to Atlas’s stone boulder. My breathing quickened, and my heart rate kicked up. The chains holding me tight were dipped in dragon’s blood. I could smell the sizzle of my flesh in my nostrils, the odor offensive and revolting.
I gagged.
“Do not fight, Hephaestus.” Themis’s voice was solemn. “They will be here soon, and then you will be unshackled.”
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