by Baz Wade
Recent election results had been shock enough to the UK body politic. Now it was unravelling further with ugly looking consequences. London was now on the highest level of security alert. On account of Star Media’s support for the Muslim Party, calling for reinstatement of its MPs and the release of Ibrahim Irani, several of its journalists had been arrested for treasonable offences. Next day, the tension level ratcheted up further with the news that caretaker Prime Minister Smithson had employed new draconian emergency powers to shut Star Media down in London. Then in retaliation, local authorities in constituencies won by the Muslim Party at the election would sanction moves to starve the Treasury of taxes. Leeds City Council in particular invited Andy Sheikh to base his operation there, making office space available for Star Media, and charging no business rate.
Karim waited for further instructions from Andy Sheikh before he moved. With the United Kingdom now so obviously dividing against itself, Karim would have left London anyway, had he not been summoned to Leeds by his minder. Knowing his British history, this Young Pretender took the trouble of disguising himself, though not as a woman like Bonnie Prince Charlie before he set about rallying troops to his cause.
On a grey March morning he set off from Kirsty’s flat in her Ford Fiesta, dressed in a boiler-suit and a woollen hat. On arriving at the TV studios in Leeds, the Star Media mogul was waiting for him. As he got out of his car, Andy Sheikh threw his arms around Karim.
“Allah be praised you’re safe. If you had been killed, my dreams really would be in tatters. Politics would be over.”
“What is to be gained by killing me?” Karim asked with a look of boyish innocence.
“Look, it’s clear the Establishment are intent on crushing any threats to their interests,” said Andy. “That means all of us. Ibrahim because he’s the most popular Muslim, you because you’re a possible pretender to the throne, and me because I’m a nouveau-riche upstart who has wrecked the cosy monopoly in the media.”
Pointing him toward the reception area of his studios, he took Karim’s arm. “Come on, let’s go inside. We don’t know if we’re under surveillance out here.”
Inside Andy’s office, Karim was keen to air his anxieties.
“So who bombed the Bank of England, Andy?”
“Our informants in MI6 have informed us it was Israeli intelligence.”
Karim laughed. “That’s ridiculous. Like the al-Qaeda propaganda that Israel was behind the 9/11 attack on New York.”
“So why would jihadists destroy the chance of getting the Muslim Party into Government?” Andy shook his bald head. “No, if they were the bombers, they would be playing into the hands of Smithson’s Government which has arrested Ibrahim, the man trying to negotiate getting that party into Government.”
Karim groaned, “we’ve somehow got to find a way forward from here.”
“Non-Muslims must be given confidence that there are no extremists in government but compromise will be necessary. For one thing, the Muslim Party I expect will not play ball unless we accept the adoption of Sharia Law in predominantly Muslim areas.”
Now Karim shook his head. “No, I don’t agree. Stoning and amputation as punishments in the 21st century? I’m not happy to be the figurehead of an alliance that aims to implement that.”
Andy got up from his desk and opened a filing cabinet.
“Well,” he said, “my newspaper sales boomed when our editorial line supported flogging football hooligans,” throwing a copy of the Sun across his desk toward Karim. “And the forcible chemical castration of paedophiles.”
Karim stared grim-faced at the headline ‘Time to get tough on crime’, with pictures of a birch and a syringe.
“Look,” continued Andy, “you support a socialist agenda, right? The Left on its own will never get into power in Westminster now that Labour cannot win any Scottish seats. An alliance of Muslims and Socialists is the only way we can get rid of the Tories and their wealthy clients. And also the Greens – they will never have influence unless they join our Rainbow Crescent.”
“Green as she is, I’m not sure Kirsty is comfortable with Muslim attitudes to the status of women either.”
“That’s for our Muslim brothers in the Quilmod Foundation to sort out with the clerics. Leave the alliance politics to me, Karim. It will work out in our favour, I guarantee that.”
Windsor Castle, February 2016
The door opened to the butler carrying a silver tray with the Prince’s morning coffee and a set of newspapers for his perusal. On top of the pile was the Sunday Star with a picture of his half-brother beaming confidently. ‘King for a new Britain?’ ran the caption.
“Has my father seen this?” Richard asked.
“Not yet, sir. He’s not yet returned from walking the dogs.”
“They’re getting cocky, putting a picture of Karim with Balmoral in the background.”
The Scots were doing all they could to help the Rainbow Crescent it seemed. Richard turned to Sophia. “One advantage he doesn’t have as a rival to the Crown though. A queen like you.”
Sophia stroked her husband’s hair as she poured them both a coffee.
“I don’t think we have anything to fear. Your father will be King a good while yet.”
“There is concern that he hasn’t been doing enough to bring the sides together. If he is seen to support Smithson in refusing to honour the election result, he may have to abdicate.”
“But we can’t have a Government which includes terrorists.”
“You’re right. I would have to refuse accession to the throne if father abdicated. Unless something can be negotiated with this Ibrahim fellow.”
They turned as the door opened and King James III entered the breakfast room.
“I see you’ve got the papers. I expect the paedophile scandal in the Church has pushed the run on sterling and our collapsing economy off the front pages.”
“Good morning Papa – we haven’t got further than this one,” said Richard, pointing at the Sunday Star’s picture of Karim. “My half-brother is Rainbow Crescent’s candidate to succeed you as King.”
The King laughed. “Well after waiting for so long, I’m in no hurry to go, my boy. Anyway, are people going to accept any young upstart claiming to be the son of your mother by another man?”
“Well, the Sunday Star is challenging us to a DNA test. If we don’t supply the material, we are the ones who lose credibility.”
“Goodness, Rich, you are heir to the throne and that is the end of it.” Sophia sounded determined.
“But people identify me with a privileged Britain, while support for Karim is growing as he becomes the heir of the ‘Queen of people’s hearts’. The Windsors may not survive this, Papa.”
Smithson picked up his office phone but paused before dialling. What troubled him, as he ran his hand through his tousled red hair, was keeping him sweating. Normally he would have showered by this time in the morning but there was no point. He would continue to sweat until the urgency of the situation with Ibrahim Irani had eased.
The problem was that the police could not detain him any longer without charging him. He had been arrested several times before on the grounds of being a member of a proscribed jihadist organisation – then tried and acquitted. His current arrest was so that the UK could prevent a renaissance of the Rainbow Crescent intended to incorporate moderate Muslim political activists rather than Islamist extremists. Smithson’s Tories needed their opponents to be terrorists to have any chance of legitimately excluding Muslim representatives from Parliament.
The downside to this of course was the continuing threat of violence, the most recent instance of which was the Bank of England bomb. The latest scandal to hit the stock markets had noticeably driven the rhetoric against bankers up to a higher pitch than even that of ten years before; and despite the Muslims not claiming responsibility for th
e atrocity, the suicide bombing had all the marks of their involvement. While Muslim fanatics were still active in the UK, their activities MI5 assured him were run from Bradford, now under martial law imposed by the Rainbow Crescent administration in Leeds. Any attempt by his Government therefore to eliminate the threat at source was confounded unless he sent overwhelming force against that nest of vipers. Such would inevitably become a full scale civil war with unacceptably high civilian casualties.
And then there was the funding of the opposition. With HM Treasury reserves depleted by a weakening currency and falling tax revenue, it really grated that Saudi Arabian money was rumoured to be keeping the Rainbow Crescent alliance buoyant. Only as long as the Muslim Party was part of it though.
He dialled the number of the Met’s anti-terrorist Tsar.
The rear door of the taxi parked outside Wormwood Scrubs opened and Andy Sheikh stepped out to greet the man exiting the prison gates.
“Welcome back to freedom, brother.” When visiting London in such a tense political climate, Sheikh had abandoned his sleek limo and his bald head was covered by a baseball cap.
Ibrahim’s response was serious. “This time it had better be for good,” he said.
“It will, Ibrahim, never fear. You’ve been acquitted of any terrorist-related activity and they have just shown us their hand – they have nothing to charge you with.” Andy Sheikh gestured to Ibrahim to get into the cab.
“But still we have no time to waste. The Quilmod Foundation are impatient to meet you. Only through their good offices can we hope to see a change to the articles, tenets and behaviour of our Islamic faith.”
“Like Christianity 500 years ago, it needs reformation or this country is doomed to a second civil war.”
“Karim shares your opinion. And I am tending to agree with it now. If we are to unify this country again, it will be because of the healing influence you and Karim bring.”
Ibrahim touched Andy’s sleeve in a gesture of caution. “If Karim is to become King, he would do well to keep his opinions to himself.”
“Not like James, eh? He always did want to meddle in politics.”
Ibrahim had some sympathy for James. If he himself was King, he would find it difficult to stand back while his Government supported Israel in the conflict with the Palestinians, for example.
“Let’s go, Andy. We’ve got work to do.”
Andy Sheikh knocked on the cabbie’s glass screen and the taxi moved off.
7
The EU Referendum Campaign –
February-March 2016
At the Rainbow Crescent meeting and debate held in Leeds City Hall, Karim spoke passionately in favour of voting Remain in the EU Referendum.
“We are supposed to be internationalist in our approach to politics – London is the most cosmopolitan city on this planet – I am cosmopolitan, therefore we should not seek to sever ties with the EU. Immigration and the free movement of labour is desirable economically, culturally and socially, particularly for those of my generation – the under 30 age group – and our leadership must campaign for a Remain vote otherwise it looks like the UK is turning its back on Europe and the rest of the world.”
Kirsty also made a contribution to the debate.
“My politics are green through and through. The EU has promoted policies on climate change, for example, which would be threatened if we vote Leave. Global problems can only be addressed by an international approach so I urge everyone to vote Remain – our children’s future may depend on it. Also there has been peace in Europe for over 50 years and that’s mainly down to the EU – give credit where credit’s due.”
From the platform Ibrahim acknowledged the sincerity of the speakers on both sides of the debate.
“This question is complex – there are powerful arguments on each side and for that reason we should not officially recommend either a Remain or Leave vote.
Personally, I support the Leave side. The free for all on immigration isn’t fair on people already here or on the immigrants. It leads to unacceptable pressure on infrastructure and public services.
My view is that we should look at re-discovering EFTA – the European Free Trade Association – as it was before the UK joined the EEC back in 1972. People are happy with a free trading block and that way we could invite countries like Turkey to be full members without worrying about having to accommodate millions of Turks in our labour force. The more we mess Turkey around, as at present, the more likely it is they will lose patience and allow the jihadis to gain more traction…”
Karim interrupted at this point.
“Leaving the EU, I still say is going to look like UK is turning its back on Europe and the rest of the world – it’s isolationist when we need to be global in our approach to politics.”
Ibrahim responded:
“I agree we need to be global, the problem is the way the EU is set up is holding us back. For a start, there is the compulsory delegation to the European Commission of the power to negotiate international trade deals. That means we are literally unable to negotiate deals with our natural allies in the Commonwealth, like Australia, India and Pakistan. The UK has turned its back on the Commonwealth for more than 40 years.
Churchill said back in the 20s the British Empire is the world’s greatest Muslim power.
The UK needs to stop feeling ashamed of its imperial past and start capitalising economically and politically on the residual loyalty that still exists in the Commonwealth.
The UK still has political and diplomatic influence – soft power, if you like, in dozens of countries around the world – it’s just we are not yet taking full advantage of the opportunities that such soft power confers.”
Karim again spoke – “I never thought I’d hear you defend Churchill and British imperialism…”
“Well, I used to be a bit of a radical firebrand when I was your age, but I’m now older and wiser,” responded Ibrahim.
The meeting then voted against adopting a party line on the issue, which meant that supporters were to be free to vote according to their individual beliefs.
The polls were showing a pro-Remain lead, possibly as a result of the Prime Minister being pro-Leave – the British never like their leaders to get too complacent. The BBC also exhibited a pro-Remain mindset, in its choice of speakers, in particular, though it was always quick to deny any bias.
Scotland was generally pro-Remain by a comfortable margin and at one point Ibrahim said to Kirsty:
“Why don’t you vote Leave as a tactical move? Scotland’s more likely to get its independence if the rest of the UK votes Leave!”
Ibrahim was half joking, but Kirsty wasn’t amused.
Koco Dine was an economic migrant from Albania. He was also an illegal – he’d unsuccessfully applied for asylum on the grounds of religious persecution – he was Catholic in a predominantly Muslim country. His asylum application had been turned down on the basis that the “evidence” he’d produced consisted of some bruising on his back which was actually self inflicted by intentionally falling down some stairs.
He was now surviving on free handouts from charities and what little he could earn as a part-time cleaner. He had wanted to be a taxi driver but there was no way he could get a loan to get started in that occupation. He was starting to get clinically depressed – some nights he could not sleep.
He was also harbouring a grudge against the British. His father had told him how one of his uncles had been in a group of anti-Communist exiles who had been betrayed by the British spy, Kim Philby.
They had been promised full support by the British and had been parachuted in 1946 into Albania to start a counter-revolution against the Communists. Philby had betrayed them and they had all been surrounded by Communist Partisans and shot on landing.
His father had always said the betrayal meant that Albania had to endure Communism
for several decades, presided over by Enver Hoxha, an admirer of Mao Tse Tung and enthusiastic promoter of his own personality cult.
The point that Philby was a double agent working for the Russians made no difference to Koco Dine, aka KD to his few friends – Philby was British and employed by the British, so the betrayal of the Albanian exiles was the fault of the British, who now owed him a living.
KD was now being let down again by the British and he was convincing himself that Britain and the British were the cause of all his problems, rather than the answer to his prayers as he had hoped.
That morning KD stopped at the mobile cafe in a lay-by within half a mile of the Brent Cross Shopping Centre where he’d been doing some unofficial cleaning work.
Eleni, the Greek girl he half knew, served him a black coffee.
“Don’t look so miserable KD – cheer up!” Eleni remarked.
“I fed up of this shit Referendum,” replied KD.
“I know all the anti-immigrant right wingers have come out of the woodwork to persecute the likes of you and me,” offered Eleni – she continued “that Marcus Love on the Leave side is one of the worst – he’s on about repatriating people who can’t pass an English language test. Spoken and written.”
“You pass tests like that if you want but me no – I no read English – I no write English.”
“So why don’t you make an effort and learn how to?”
“I no have cash to pay for lessons and no ID to get loans, that’s why I depressed.”
An idea was slowly taking shape in KD’s mind – why not end it all and take down some shit politician like Marcus Love, so people like Eleni would think him a hero.