by Meara Platt
Dropping her hands, she pinched her cheeks again. Mentally, she worked through her list of rational reasons why this marriage was a smart decision on his part.
“Mary,” he called from in the office. “Are you going to come in?”
Everything inside her went rigid, making it difficult to move. “Perhaps. I just need a few more minutes in the hall.”
He chuckled and she relaxed at the sound. “Why don’t you come in here and think your thoughts. I’ve got a pot of tea waiting for you.”
Her shoulders slumped as a small smile graced her lips. “You understand me already.”
“Perhaps a little,” he answered.
She entered the room to find him standing by the window, his gaze focused on the ground below. She glanced out to see the garden and the spot in which they’d picnicked the day before. “Did you sleep at all last night?”
“Not much,” he answered. “I’ll try to rest this afternoon. Tonight, I am off to the club.”
She supposed she’d sleep better knowing he wasn’t in the house but a part of her was disappointed too. Mary liked being near him. “What are those clubs like?”
He looked up at her then. “They are dark and rather…” He paused. “A lot of men doing a lot of drinking and a fair bit of fighting because money and liquor are involved.”
“Sounds lovely.” She stepped up to the tray of tea. “Would you like a cup?”
He turned to her then, his eyes drinking her in. “It is a necessity to make sure that Anne is provided for.” Then he hesitated. “And my future heir, of course. He must inherit a sustainable earldom.” Why did he grimace when he mentioned another child?
She held her breath. “You’ve considered my offer.”
He took the cup of tea she offered, his fingers brushing hers. “I have.”
She picked up her own cup and brought it to her lips, trying to hide the tremble. As an earl he had lots of options as to who he took for a bride, but for her, this might be her last chance to marry. Taking a sip, she then clamped her teeth together to keep from commenting.
“I lost my first wife during the birthing of my second child.” He turned to the window again. “He was a boy, but he didn’t survive either.”
So he’d suffered two losses, not one. And a life so small and fragile. No wonder he was so hesitant. “I’m sorry.”
He looked back at her. “My hesitation is not that you’re unsuitable in any way but you’re so small.” His gaze raked up and down her. “I worry that I’ll lose you too.”
The cup nearly slipped from her fingers as tears filled her eyes. “I won’t make you a false promise. Life is so uncertain, I can attest to that more than anyone. But even strong, healthy people die. It is part of life, I’m afraid.” But honestly, she wasn’t that worried. She didn’t wish to belittle his fears but she’d always been healthy, strong. And the women in her family birthed children exceptionally well. “But of the things that I worry about, childbirth isn’t one of them. A life without meaning, however, scares me to no end.”
He nodded, relaxing a bit. “I appreciate your perspective and I’m glad you’re not afraid. I’m a large man though, and I seem to create large babies and—” He scrubbed his hands over his face.
She set down the cup and placed a hand on his shoulder, her own heart aching. “I understand. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I thought you were going off to war.”
He looked up at her then. “You do understand. Which is why I’ve decided to marry if you you’ll accept my terms.”
She dropped her hand as her stomach started to churn with dread. “Terms?”
He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “You’ve already agreed to help me raise Anne. I’ve every confidence you’ll make a good stepmother.”
That eased the ache a bit. “Of course.”
“But I only wish to have one more child.” He didn’t look at her, his expression shuddered and drawn tight.
Her brows drew together. “But what if it’s another girl?”
He shrugged. “We’ll figure that out if it comes to pass. But I won’t risk more.”
She shook her head. He wasn’t making sense. Bearing one child was as risky as having a second one and, as she’d already stated, the entire point was to have a boy. Besides, other women built like her had babies all the time. Surely, there was another reason for his wife’s devastating death. She didn’t broach the subject now. After all, he’d given her an opportunity to get married and start her own family, have her own life.
For now, this was the closest to a happily ever after she’d likely get. “I consent to the terms.” She’d figure out how to get him to move past his grief and false beliefs after they said their vows.
Sin nearly slumped forward in relief but held himself up. The truth of the matter was that he wanted Mary, desperately so. But of course, for her sake and for his, he couldn’t have her bear many children.
If he could avoid getting her pregnant all together, he would. But he felt compelled to give it one more try for the sake of the title and his duty. After that, he’d cease his physical relationship with her and focus on just being a good father and husband.
He ignored the cry of protest his body made. Impregnating her once was all the risk he could take. He shouldn’t even do that.
She tentatively slid her fingers into his. “If it makes you feel better, my mother bore two children and suffered no ill effects. I’m slightly taller than she was.”
He looked up at her, unable to hide his surprise. “You have a sibling?”
She shook her head. “Disease of the lung when he was just three.”
He made a soft sound that rumbled in his throat and echoed about the room. “You lost your entire family.” Without thought, he pulled her into his arms tucking her head under his chin. She melted into him her chest pressing to his rib cage, her softness so right against his muscles. “It’s all right,” he whispered, starting to stroke her back. “I understand.”
“We do understand each other, don’t we?” she said into his neck, her voice vibrating through him.
He leaned down and softly kissed the top of her head. “We do. I must confess that it’s one of the many reasons I accepted your proposal.”
She winced, he felt the tightening of her facial muscles. “I still can’t believe I did that.”
Squeezing her tighter for a moment, he loosened his grip and leaned back to look down into those beautiful blue eyes. “I’m glad you did.”
“Really?” she asked, her eyes crinkling at the corners.
How did he explain, without sounding weak, that it might have taken him weeks to draw the conclusions she’d forced? That grief had held him in its grip and he’d only just started to rise from its ashes. “Really.” He bent down and kissed her nose again. It was an adorable nose and he rather enjoyed giving it small kisses. “Now tell me. How did the night go with Anne?”
Mary frowned. “You were right. That is her struggle. I have to find a way to break her cycle of fear. Not sure what it is yet but I do know that until then, there is little point in fighting her feelings. She’s frightened and what she needs is support and to slowly build her own self value.”
His hand came to cup her cheek. “Thank you.” He fought the urge to kiss her again. Somehow, her work with Anne only made him want her that much more. “You’ve no idea what this means to me.”
She gave a nod, looking up at him. “If we’re successful, I will someday.”
His hand slipped from her face. That was true. And it made him cold to think about. Was it wrong to hope that she never actually became pregnant? “True.” Gently he moved her back, slipping away from the window to cross from the desk. “I’ll go see your uncle today to ask for your hand.”
“I’m sure he’ll consent,” she answered. “They’ve been on me for years to join society again.”
He quirked a brow. “You’ve been in my house for a day. He’s likely to think I’m a terrible ogre who hurt you in som
e fashion.”
Her eyebrows rose up as her lips pressed together. “Perhaps Anne and I should make the trip with you. Not only will they see that I am absolutely fine but then Anne can see Grace’s studio.” She picked up her tea. “Besides, you need only tell my uncle that I asked you and he’ll understand. He’s aware of Chase women’s tendencies.” She frowned, her features growing tight.
“I’d love it if you both came with and thank you for the advice.” He rubbed his chin as he considered her. This was not the first time she’d lamented her Chase heritage. “We’ll leave in two hours if that’s amenable to you?”
“Of course,” she answered, setting down her cup. “I’ll go up and begin getting Anne ready.”
“Excellent.” He watched as she headed for the door and then left, the sway of her hips dancing before his eyes long after she’d disappeared. It was very possible that he’d just entered a bargain with the devil. Because while Mary was an angel, what she did to his body was sin at its finest and he didn’t know how he was going to find the strength to resist.
The contract they’d entered required control, the very thing, when it came to her, he did not have.
Chapter Nine
Mary held the wood rail in the carriage, determined not to watch Sin’s every move. His thighs flexed as he shifted his legs, his breeches making every muscle’s delightful ripple known to her.
An ache throbbed between her legs and held in her breath, trying to calm her racing heart.
“Are we going to see your cousin who’s a painter?” Anne asked, reaching for Mary’s hand.
“I don’t think so,” she answered and the girl made a loud groan. She gently squeezed the child’s hand. “Patience,” she softly whispered. “If you’re good we can go into her studio and try out some of her paints on canvas.”
Anne let out a gasp of delight and Sin chuckled appreciatively. The sound of his deep baritone trilled up and down her spine.
“Papa, are you going to paint with us too?” Anne bounced on her seat.
Sin shook his head. “No, my sweet. I’m going to speak with Mary’s uncle.”
Anne stopped bouncing to cock her head. “Why do you need to speak with him?”
Sin gave her a wink. “Be a good girl like Mary said and we’ll discuss it this evening.”
The rest of the ride passed in lovely chatter with Mary sneaking glances at Sin as her blood heated.
When they finally arrived, she wished she could be like Anne and rocket out of the carriage. Energy and heat flowed through her and Mary desperately needed some fresh air to cool her skin.
Sin helped her from the carriage, his hand lingering on hers before he tucked it into his elbow and then they made their way up the steps.
Her aunt and uncle greeted them as soon as they walked through the foyer. Mary stopped in surprise. “Are you expecting someone?”
“Yes.” Her aunt raised her brows. “You.”
Mary looked over at Sin. But before she could ask, her uncle answered.
“Lord Sinclair sent a missive you were coming.”
“Did we miss anything?” Minnie called from behind her and Mary turned with a gasp. Several carriages were pulling up the drive. Minnie and Daring stood just behind her while Malice and Cordelia came up the front walk.
“Miss anything?” Mary asked, turning back to her aunt. “What is everyone doing here?”
Her uncle stepped forward. “We’re making sure that everything is happening the proper way.”
Mary’s mouth fell open. She knew what this meant. Her uncle wanted his sons-in-law in attendance in case Sin hadn’t behaved himself. “This was not necessary. Lord Sinclair and I—”
“I will be the judge of what’s necessary,” her uncle replied.
Mary’s face heated even as her shoulders snapped back and her chin raised. “You are not to make this more difficult than it needs to be. Am I clear?”
Her uncle’s eyes widened, but Daring chuckled behind them. “Mary, you’re more like Minnie than I first imagined.”
That made Mary deflate. Her personality was rearing its ugly head again. “My apologies, Uncle.”
Her uncle assessed her for a moment. “Do not apologize to me child. I raised you to be this way.”
She swallowed, her shoulders hunching. “Why would you inflict this curse upon us?”
“Curse?” Minnie asked.
“What curse?” Malice asked from the back, having reached the group. “Did a gypsy curse us? Is that why we all keep getting married? Did anyone warn Sin before he took over the club?”
Daring spun back around. “A gypsy has certainly cursed your tongue. It never flaps that much.”
Vice laughed having reached the steps. “Is Malice talking? Marriage does agree with him.”
Sin cleared his throat. “No one needs to warn me of anything. I’ve been searching for a bride for some time. I may as well state my intentions now. When Mary happened upon my door—though I suspect Daring planned it all along and he is our gypsy—I rather quickly decided not to squander the opportunity. I’m here to formally ask for her hand. That is all.”
Her uncle opened his mouth to speak, but Anne interrupted. “Is that the surprise?” Then she let go of Mary’s hand, clapping and jumping in the air. “Miss Chase is to be my new mother.” And she launched herself at Mary, who caught the child in a hug.
Sin patted his daughter’s back. “If anyone questions my reasons, I would like to refer them to my daughter’s excitement.”
A laugh broke out among the group as everyone relaxed, including her uncle. “Well, apologies for bringing everyone here this morning. But since you’ve all come, let’s have lunch, shall we?”
Applause broke out.
Mary buried her nose in Anne’s hair, hiding her face. While Sin had handled the situation well, part of her cringed that Anne was the reason he wanted to marry her. She knew that this was a marriage of convenience but some small part of her wanted him to want more.
Her uncle reached out to shake Sin’s hand. “Let’s discuss the details while the women catch up.”
Mary lifted her head, a frown marking her face. She’d expected to face her aunt, but her cousins? Would they understand the bargain she’d just made?
Sin assessed the ring of men around him trying to process what he’d just learned. In addition to Mary’s uncle, Lord Winthorpe, Daring, Malice, Exile, Bad, and Vice all sat around him. They had collectively come together to provide Mary with the dowry she’d never had from her family.
“So you’ve raised a dowry for her? But she already has a proposal?”
Daring shrugged. “We didn’t know that, of course. We hoped to increase her chances of a proposal by making her wealthier.”
Sin gave his head a slow shake. “So now that’s engaged…”
“The dowry is yours.” Vice winked at him. “Our mission was accomplished. She’s received an offer from a titled lord, no less.”
“Did you think to tempt me with the carrot of wealth?” He leaned forward his elbows braced on his knees.
Malice shrugged. “You were one of the men we were considering.”
At the thought of other men, he shot up straight. “Who else?”
“It doesn’t matter now,” Bad answered, his brows low and heavy over his eyes. “You’ve offered.”
“And even better, it wasn’t for money.” Exile leaned back in his chair one foot propped on the other knee.
“What is the reason?” Vice asked. “Have you fallen in love?”
“No,” he answered rather too quickly than necessary. “She is lovely, which helps.” He didn’t care to admit how much he was looking forward to bedding Mary. “And she is wonderful with my daughter. That is the basis of my decision.”
Vice snorted. A loud, obvious sound that echoed in the room full of men. “Liar.”
Daring gave a light chuckle. “Let the man delude himself if he must.”
Sin’s lips thinned, stretching over his teeth. “
My feelings are my own and none of your concern. I know that each of you is newly in love but I was you once. And then my wife died while birthing my son.”
Their mirth died. Vice lost the devilish twinkle, while Daring’s mouth pulled down. Exile straightened, and Lord Winthorpe shifted in his seat. “Loss is difficult to bear. Are you certain you’re ready to marry again?”
Sin looked down at his hands. What Winthorpe actually meant was, are you whole enough for my niece? “Mary and I both understand loss. It makes it easier to marry again knowing that she has suffered as I have. She’s learned to bear the weight of losing her fiancé, her parents, and brother. I can only hope she’ll teach me to be as strong.” The words echoed about his thoughts. Hellfire and damnation. The words rang in his head.
All this time he’d been too worried about Mary being weak. But she was the stronger of the two of them. And she, after one day, had pulled him further out of his emotional hole than anyone else he’d ever met.
“That was very well said.” Bad clapped him on the shoulder. “Whether it’s love or just admiration, I’d say the two of you are well-suited.” Then he cleared his throat. “I grew up on the streets, not even a roof over my head. I thought…” Bad hesitated. “I thought I didn’t deserve love. But when you let the right woman in, she makes you better.”
Sin stared at Bad. “For a man who rarely speaks, you’re very articulate.” He scrubbed his face as Bad’s words sunk in. Did Sin think he didn’t deserve love? He drew in a shuddering breath. The answer was yes.
Chapter Ten
Facing a room of Chase women was a lot like what Mary imagined standing against an army might feel like. Cold sweat covered her palms, and she stood poised ready to run.
Minnie, the oldest of the all the girls, the first to marry, a duke no less, and the most outspoken stepped forward first, her red hair glinting in the sun. “You’re engaged?”
Mary tucked her hands in her skirt, covertly wiping away the sweat. “Yes. It would seem so.” She knew once the details of the arrangement became known, her family would have a great deal to say.