by Roxy Wynn
Grabbing my keys, I took my time walking down the road, expecting to see them over the hill any second, but when I arrived, the only people there were nannies and kids. No Alfie or Bailey in sight.
I started to panic.
I spied a girl fiddling around on her cell phone, ignoring the child she was probably there watching. “Hi, sorry to bother you…” The girl kept her eyes glued to her phone. “Have you seen Alfie Lane around here? He’s a British guy about six feet tall. Has tattoos?”
At the mention of his name, her back went straight, and she whipped her head around. “No. Is he here?” All of a sudden, I had her undivided attention.
“Yeah, he’s in the area, and he’s got my kid.”
She went back to her phone, furiously texting. “Oh my god, Sheila is never going to believe this.”
“I’ll take that as a no,” I said, turning back to the playground.
God damn it, Alfie.
Marching back in the direction I came, dread washed over me. And I felt like the world’s biggest idiot.
How could I have just left my son with a stranger? Sure, we thought we knew Alfie Lane, but what did we really know about him? That he needed a wife for citizenship purposes? Likely story! Maybe he was just out to kidnap Bailey from the beginning.
Calm down, you’re as bad as Chrissy right now. He probably has a totally reasonable explanation.
When I got back to the house, I searched each room again hoping I overreacted, and they snuck in while I was out. But there was still no sign of them.
Glancing down at my phone, I tried calling Alfie, but immediately heard it ring from his bedroom.
This can’t be happening.
The only other thing I could do was call Chrissy.
Less than fifteen minutes later, Jax stood in my driveway trying to console me.
“What have I done, Jax?” Each moment that passed amplified my dread. “What if he kidnapped Bailey, and they’re on their way to Tijuana?”
His eyebrows creased while he asked questions. “Did you try calling him?”
“Of course I did,” I shouted. “But he didn’t answer because Alfie Lane is physically incapable of having a cell phone.”
“Sarah.” He grabbed me by the arms to stop my frantic pacing. “Alfie is a well-known guy. There’s no way he’s on foot just taking Bailey to Mexico. There is a logical explanation here.”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t actually think that, but human trafficking is a big problem in this country.”
Jax’s face turned white as a sheet, as the idea dawned on him that he too was a parent. Suddenly all my insane fears didn’t sound so crazy after all. He started pacing with me.
“Did he say anything to you this morning?”
“No. Just good luck at the hearing, but that was it.”
“Did you check the playground?”
“Of course I did, Jax!” My voice had risen to a near scream. “Of course I looked there, of course I called him. I’ve looked all over, I have no clue where they could be.”
Jax grabbed my arm again, stopping me in my tracks. “Oliver. Did you try him?”
My eyes grew huge. “No! Oh, god, I hope he’s with Oliver…”
Running back into the house, I rummaged through my bag for my cell phone. After four or five rings, I was directed to a voicemail.
Damn it…
“Hi, Oliver, this is Sarah Taylor. Listen, I haven’t seen Alfie or Bailey and I’m getting a little worried. Can you give me a call back?”
My brain kept going back and forth between, Alfie has kidnapped my son, and obviously this is all a huge misunderstanding. But until I had my son in my arms, I would be on high alert.
I stuff my phone into my pocket and walked out to the driveway again. Jax had his back to me, listening to something in the distance.
“What is it?” I asked, joining him.
“Laughter. ”
I took off running in the direction of the laughter with Jax not too far behind me. It only took a couple of minutes, but when we found them, making their way back from the bus stop, I fell to my knees holding my arms open.
“Mommy!” Bailey said, running toward me. He had a sucker the size of his head in one hand, and Spiderman face paint. When he was close enough, I grabbed him in my arms, crushing him.
“You’re hurting me…”
“Where were you?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Did you know there was a carnival downtown? We saw it this morning on our way to Ollie’s office,” Alfie answered, pointing behind him. He didn’t have a lollipop, but he did have his face made up like a KISS era Gene Simmons.
I turned around and made my way to the house. Bailey struggled against me, but I wasn’t ready to let him out of my arms just yet. Thinking, even if it was only for a few moments, that I had lost him, drove me mad. The harder he struggled, the tighter I held him.
“Bailey, I’m not mad at you, okay? I love you so much. I didn’t know where you were and I got scared.”
“Mommy,” he said, still trying to break free. “I was with Alfie. I was okay. We went on the tilt a whirl and ate corn dogs.”
When we got back to the driveway, I set him down in front of me and kneeled down to stare at his sweet little face. The Spiderman makeup had smeared all over my dress and neck, but I didn’t care. I was just happy he was safe.
“That’s fine, I’m happy you had fun, mommy just needs to know where you are. I was worried.” I looked up at Jax who had been on my heels the entire time. He stared back and forth between Alfie and myself, wringing his hands.
“Maybe Uncle Jax can take you back to his house?”
“Absolutely.” He crouched down beside me. “Wanna come play dinosaurs with me and Aunt Chrissy?”
Bailey’s bottom lip quivered as his gaze settled on Alfie.
“Um, okay. But can Alfie come too? I like when he plays dinosaurs.”
I glared at Alfie, shaking my head. It was the first time I had ever seen the man at a loss for words.
Don’t lose it here. Not in front of Bailey.
“Not tonight Little Man, mommy and Alfie need to talk. Stupid grown up stuff.”
“But I wanna…”
“Bailey,” I shouted. I stopped and took a deep breath before continuing. “Go with Uncle Jax for a little bit. I’ll come get you later.”
Jax reached his hand out and Bailey took it reluctantly, tears beginning to stream down his face. I watched silently while Jax helped him into his car seat, and buckled him in. As they drove off, I waved at Bailey, trying to keep the fake smile plastered to my face for thirty more seconds.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Alfie
As soon as the car rounded the corner, Sarah turned away from me and headed into the house.
Way to go, Mate.
“Sarah. Wait,” I shouted, running after her. I didn’t know why she was so angry with me. The lad wasn’t in any danger, and she trusted me to watch him, so why was she so upset.
When I reached the front door, she slammed it in my face. Luckily she didn’t lock it when she did so. I pushed it open, treading carefully. In my experience with an angry person, the best course of action was usually to let them vent on their own terms. I didn’t want to force her, but I did want to know what I had done, so I could be sure never to do it again.
I waited in the kitchen with my hands in my pockets and my face down. A moment later she joined me, slamming my cell phone down on the table hard enough to crack the screen.
“Oi!”
“Alfie, I am trying really hard not to stab you to death right now…”
“Well I think that’s a little premature…”
“You took my fucking kid!” She yelled. I was used to seeing Ollie angry, but Sarah’s temper terrified me. After the words spilled from her mouth, she stood silently, staring at me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think…”
“You’re right. You didn’t think! I should have know
n better than to ever leave him alone with you. You have no common sense.”
Anger over not calling was one thing, insulting me was another. “That’s harsh Sarah. Just because I didn’t call you and tell you where we were doesn’t make me a monster.”
“So you’re just an idiot then?”
“Excuse me, princess. I took your lad out for a fun day in the sun because I knew you were having a rough go of it. I wanted him to be tired and happy when we came home so you could take a break. You work so bloody hard, I thought I was doing something nice.”
“No, Alfie. Something nice, would have been giving me a call and telling me what your plans were. Just… disappearing with my kid nearly gave me a…. “ She turned away from me and stared at the wall. “Jesus fucking christ, I can’t even look at you when you have KISS makeup on.”
I reached up and touched my skin, remembering the face paint. “Oh yeah, I also got our faces painted so no one would know who I was.”
She took her hand off my phone, but I still approached cautiously, worried she would hurl it at my head any moment.
“Sarah, I am truly sorry for not ringing you. But you said babysit him and have fun. To a five-year-old boy, having fun is going on rides until you puke. I know, I was one.”
“Great, so you’re telling me he threw up today too?”
You’re ruining things, Mate.
“He only threw up because of the corn dogs he ate before the spinning ride. I told him two corndogs was a terrible idea, but he assured me he would be fine.”
“I’m not having this conversation with your face like that.”
“Don’t be a child,” I said, regretting it immediately.
Sarah turned and stomped to her bedroom, slamming the door with all the strength of Thor with his hammer, then kicked it for good measure.
Well if that’s how you want to be!
I stormed to my own room and scrubbed my face furiously. How was I the bad guy? Bailey had a blast with me. Kids can’t be kept under someone’s thumb all their lives. They need to run and play. Get fresh air, and scrape their knees.
Back in my day, kids were allowed to be kids. We spent every day outside causing a ruckus until the sun went down. From what I saw, Bailey spent too much time cooped up in this house and not enough time outside causing trouble with other children. She was wrong, and she didn’t even know it.
I threw my door open and stormed down the hallway, yelling. “The way I see it, you should be thanking me,” I said, pushing her door open. She sat at her vanity, her face red and blotchy.
“Thanking you?”
“Yeah. All he does is hang out here with you, or he gets shuffled off to your best friend’s house. All the kid knows is older females. He needs men in his life, he needs fun!”
“Let me get this straight,” she said, standing up and closing the distance between us. “I’m a bad mom because I have a solid support system for him that just so happens to be female?”
“Well… no…”
“You don’t know anything about children, Alfie. They need schedules and stability, and school.”
“That’s bollocks. Parents need school to keep kids out of the house during the day. Kids need fun and mischief. They shouldn’t just be shuffled around from one baker’s house to another. You’re robbing him of the best time of his life.”
As soon as the words came out, I regretted them. She clutched her chest and sat back on her bed with a thud, staring at the floor.
Alfie, you insufferable bastard.
I knelt down, taking her tiny hands in mine. “Please don’t cry. I’m so sorry. I never meant to frighten you. I love Bailey, he’s a good little lad.” When I brushed the hair from her eyes, she nodded slowly.
“I wanted to have a fun day with him is all. And when it comes to schooling, I’ve got some amazing news…”
“The tour?”
“Yes.” I stopped and stared at her. “Wait… how did you know about that?”
She retrieved a tissue from the nightstand and blew her nose then tossed it into the bin. “Harris told me after court today.”
I expected the news to make her happy, but instead she kept her head down, avoiding my eyes.
“And I know what you’re probably thinking. You think old Alfie was planning on leaving the two of you behind. But I wasn’t, I talked to Ollie, and they can get us a big bus to tour in with plenty of space for all of us.”
She shook her head. “I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.”
“Why? I thought you would be happy. We can be together, on the road, the traveling rock star family.”
Her face had dried, but she still kept her defeated look. “Alfie, I am beyond happy for your good news. But Bailey and I can’t go with you. He’s starting kindergarten, and I’m running a business. I can’t just pack up for six weeks and follow you all over the world.” She stood up again and walked to the mirror to dab under her eyes. “And for what? Your companionship? Why are you so adamant about taking us? Shouldn’t you want to go alone so you can fuck groupies and get drunk?”
I winced, heartbroken. How could she say so many hurtful things? I was asking her to come with me. I didn’t need groupies for companionship, I needed her.
“I want you to go because in less than two weeks, we’ll be married. Bailey will be my step son. I care about you.”
“Well we can’t uproot our lives to follow you around the world.”
“Can’t do it? Or won’t do it?” She kept her back to me, but didn’t respond as if she wasn’t sure herself, what the answer was.
I stood up, and turned her to face me. If she was casting me aside, I at least wanted her to look me in the eyes when she did it. “Harris told me you won today. You don’t have any reason to go through with it now. Do you?”
“It wasn’t like that, Alfie…”
“Then what?” I tilted her face up to see her beautiful eyes. “It wasn’t about the house or the money to you, was it? You just wanted your ex off your back. Now that that’s done, you don’t need old Alfie anymore, do you?” Realizing I wasn’t just losing her, but Bailey as well gutted me.
She turned her head away again. “I guess not.”
While I walked back to the bed, and sat down, she opened her closet and tossed clothes into her overnight bag. How did this get so out of control? All I wanted was a day at the fair. Losing a family over it was ludicrous. I wanted to lash out, and hurt her like she was hurting me.
“I want my ring back,” I said. It was the only thing I could think of to say. I really wanted to get on my knees and beg for her forgiveness, but she had already made up her mind. There was no use in humiliating myself now.
She took it off and dropped it onto the dresser. “Here. It was ugly anyways.”
“Sarah, wait,” I hissed.
“Good luck, Alfie Lane.”
Well there it was, Station Girl all over again. A woman barges into my life, charming me, and then just as quickly as she appeared, vanishes.
Feeling sorry for myself, I curled up into a ball on her bed and hugged her pillow close, inhaling the scent of her shampoo.
You really did it this time, didn’t you Alfie?
Wanker.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Alfie
I couldn’t eat, or sleep. I couldn’t even play my music, that’s how badly Sarah hurt me.
But I could drink.
For the better part of the past three days, I had been staying at the El Centro hotel, in the middle of downtown, wallowing in my own sadness. It’s wasn’t the most posh establishment, but the master suite was available, and the bartender kept the gin flowing without cutting me off when I got sloppy.
The space was everything I needed and yet, I still felt like a chunk of my heart was missing. I looked down into the bottom of my drink and watched the bubbles floating around a sad, brown wedge of lime.
Not posh at all.
“Alfie, my best mate. I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Oliv
er said, slapping me on the back.
My eyes stayed fixed on my glass. “I guess my hiding spot wasn’t as perfect as I thought.”
He took the seat next to me and ordered himself a pint. “Can I get you another? What are you having?”
“Gin.”
“Ah, yes, gin for my associate,” he said to the man behind the bar.
I finished my drink and sat in silence, hoping Ollie would take a hint and leave me alone, but he didn’t. When the bartender brought the next one to me, I tossed the sad lime away, and downed it in two gulps.
“Thirsty?”
“Something like that.”
While Oliver nursed his drink in silence, I thought about that little boy. Did he miss me? Did she? Perhaps ending it was for the best. After all, who would want a shit dad like me?
Oliver cleared his throat and took another sip. “So, we lost the date you had set up for the chapel, but I think I found another woman to set you up with. We’ll have to fly to Missouri, but she’s definitely an excellent choice. No kids, thank god.” He laughed.
When I didn’t join him, he continued. “Alfie, I’ve known you for a long time. I don’t know exactly what happened between the two of you, but I know you’re hurt.”
“Oh, really Ollie? What gave it away? Three days of beard stubble? Or was it the fact that I can’t even touch my guitar without thinking of her?”
He winced, and motioned for another round. “I need to ask, and I’m pretty sure I know the answer. You slept with her, didn’t you?”
“Of course I did. I shagged her all over the bloody house. I love her Ollie.”
He sighed and clapped his hand on my back again. “Then breaking up now was the best thing that could happen. You have a bright career ahead of you. One that you don’t want to lose because of a wife and kid.”
I scoffed. “What would you know?”
“I know you’re a mess. You stink, and you can’t do the one thing that you and I both need you to do.”
When my drink came, I tossed it back again, letting the bubbles sting my throat on the way down. “The worst part is the lad,” I said, getting choked up. “I don’t know what she… told him about me or what happened.”