by C. Gockel
She didn’t want to think about it, let alone talk about it. She tensed again.
“I don’t—”
“Tell me.” This time his voice was an invitation, not an order.
“He kissed me.” Sara couldn’t look at him. If there’d been some place to hide in the room, she’d have dived into it. “Just a kiss.”
“But it scared you?”
“No…maybe…kind of.”
“Why?”
That was the million-dollar question.
“Sara, look at me. Why did it scare you, if it was just a kiss?”
She raised her lashes. “Maybe I’m a wimp.” His brows arched. “Oh jeeze, I don’t know, it was awful, but not.”
She thought he’d be shocked, but he didn’t look shocked.
Fyn’s eyes darkened. “So, he didn’t hurt you?”
She shook her head. “Well, he hit me once, but that just made me want to kick his ass.”
He bent and brushed his lips across hers. “Did he do that?”
She nodded, her eyes getting wide.
“And did he do this?”
His mouth tasted hers. Light brushes against her lips, the center, both sides…
Her lashes started to droop down.
“No, look at me.”
He was right. She needed to see him.
“He kind of bit my lower lip, too.” It had shocked her that she could be so angry and yet so vulnerable. In some ways it would have been easier if he forced her. There’d be less guilt if it hadn’t been so hard not to respond to him.
“Like this?”
He gently, very gently nibbled the lip in question. It was very nice, great actually.
“I like the way you do it better.” It was true. Adin had had lots of practice, but was heartless in the execution. The heat he generated was cold at its heart, giving nothing, designed only for taking.
With Fyn, every touch said he loved her. It gave, asking nothing.
“Anything else?”
“No, that was it.” She smiled a bit wryly. “I told you I’m a wimp.”
He slid his hand into her hair. “A kiss didn’t put that look in your eyes, Sara. Tell me what did.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want—”
“It’s a poison inside your head. You’ve tried it alone, now we do it together.”
He might be right, but she didn’t want to.
“You can do this.”
Sara sighed. Her lashes slid down.
“Look at me while you tell me.”
“I can’t.”
“You can.” He pulled her close again, his hand cupped against the side of her face, holding her chin up. “Tell me.”
So she told him. She told him all of it, except about unlocking the outpost. There was the gag order. A couple of times, his grip tightened.
“Do you remember when I came?”
Sara shook her head. “I knew you would, if you could.” She sighed. She felt empty, but better. “I guess I got my drawers in a twist over nothing.”
“It wasn’t nothing but now it can be. It’s not bottled up anymore.”
He was right, but…
“Just how much time did you spend with the shrink? You’re not exactly the poster child for getting things out in the open.”
He grinned. “Too much—way too much.”
She grinned at him. “Well, next time you can do the confessing.”
Did he just jerk? She frowned. “Are you all right?”
“I’m good.” But he didn’t look at her and she felt him holding something back.
Something? Probably a lot of things. Did she really need to know all he’d done since he lost his wife and world? Did she even want to know all that stuff? It couldn’t be changed and once it was in her head, she couldn’t get it out again. She wasn’t eager to lay bare all her past for him.
She could almost hear Evie telling her to let the boy be, girl. Let him find who he is now, with you. The past is just the past. Don’t give it more power than it already has.
If it didn’t affect them now, if it didn’t matter to this moment, then why press the issue?
Sara didn’t like to ask about her wedding, with so much other crap going on, but it was on her mind when she and Fyn reported to Colonel Halliwell. It felt a bit shallow with six Gadi ships hanging out there.
“Grab chairs,” he ordered, looking up briefly from his laptop to greet them.
They both waited quietly for a few minutes. Before the Old Man finished, Carey came in.
“What’s up?” He looked at Sara, then Fyn and lastly the Old Man.
“Pull up a chair, Colonel.” Halliwell finished typing something and sat back. “Here’s the situation. The Gadi Leader arrived on one of the ships last night. We chatted a bit and nobody shot at anybody. For now.”
He pushed his chair back and stood up. He looked tired. Sara wondered if he’d got any sleep last night. He paced around to the front of his desk and leaned against the edge.
“He wanted us, mostly you, Captain, to visit him on his ship. I said no a bunch of times as politely as I could without coming out and saying we didn’t trust him to give you back. He didn’t like it, but the Commander finally convinced him to come aboard for the visit—which will commence at 1600. I’ve got the SO working on security, and Kilburn doing the diplomatic shit, but I have no clue what to do about you.”
He looked at Sara, just in case there was some question who he was worried about.
Sara met his gaze for a long moment. “I guess I could be nice.”
Fyn frowned but Carey looked hopeful. “The red dress?”
Sara gave him a look. “Not that nice. I was thinking more of getting in touch with my roots.”
Halliwell crossed his arms. “Your roots?”
“They lead straight back to a trailer park, sir. These Gadi are pretty upper crust. I wonder how they’d feel about a trashy, redneck woman as one of the leader’s ladies.”
The Old Man looked almost amused.
“Okay, I’m interested. What did you have in mind?”
“Gaedon wasn’t too wild about the booming.”
“And do a throw down,” Carey said. “You could try to take Fyn again. I might even bet on you this time.”
“I see where you’re going.” Halliwell straightened. “Okay, but not just Donovan. Too obvious. We have a demonstration of our fighting techniques for them. I’m sure Kilburn will want to do a dinner. He always does. We give them the ten-cent tour and end up at in the club. It would be better for the leader to withdraw his proposal.”
“That doesn’t mean they won’t still want her in their camp,” Fyn pointed out. “This is about Miri.”
“I’m thinking if I’m trashy enough, they’ll quit believing I have the key,” Sara said. “They’ve built Miri up to be this mystical, perfect being. Luckily being imperfect is a no-brainer for me.”
Okay, she wasn’t insulted that no one disagreed with her, not even Fyn.
“We’re already about to bump heads. Can’t see how it could goon things up more,” Carey said. “Not saying it couldn’t. Just saying I can’t see how.”
Carey grinned at her and she almost stuck her tongue out at him. Luckily she remembered he was her superior officer.
“And maybe, since we’re on alert because of them, instead of a dress parade, we’re all geared up in our ABU’s…” Sara thought about the man in the drawing. He didn’t seem like the type to like his women in camo. “No softer side?”
Halliwell grinned. “You’re a dark, little soul at times, aren’t you?” He looked at Fyn. “You sure you know what you’re getting into?”
“Am I getting into something, sir?” Fyn asked it very respectfully and a bit hopefully.
Sara bit back a grin, but couldn’t resist giving the Old Man a hopeful look, too.
Halliwell’s brows rose, as if he didn’t know what they were talking about but then he relented.
“If neither of you have change
d your minds?” He looked at Fyn, then at Sara. He pushed the intercom. “Padre, can you come in now?”
Briggs came in with him and punched her lightly on the arm, but his grin was wide. “So, you’re going to marry Chewie.”
It was a bit mind boggling when he put it like that. It probably wasn’t the wedding of most girls’ dreams, but Sara hadn’t expected to get married, so she arrived at the moment without expectations. The colonel and Carey stood as witnesses. Briggs stood in as father and when the padre asked who gave this woman, he said he did. In a way he had been a sort of father—a really weird way. The service was short and to the point. There wasn’t a lot of time. They didn’t have rings to exchange and they barely got to kiss, but all that mattered to Sara was at the end of it, the padre pronounced them man and wife. Sara looked shyly up at Fyn, at her husband. There was a round of congratulations, a short round because Carey and Fyn were almost late for their duty station. A little wistfully, Sara watched them leave. The padre congratulated her again, reminded her she’d promised to sing for the next service and then excused himself. She turned to Briggs. He nodded a couple of times, then gave her a half-hearted hug. Sara caught him before he could pull back and kissed his cheek, feeling the first tears pop into her eyes.
“Thank you.”
“You’re not going to cry like a girl now, are you?”
She shook her head and managed to keep the tears from spilling over.
“Be happy.” He punched her shoulder again and turned and stalked out leaving her alone with the Old Man.
Sara wasn’t quite sure why she was still here—or if she was supposed to leave. She waited a minute, but when he didn’t speak, she started to edge toward the door.
“You said you could connect with the city—or that it connected with you?”
Sara stopped. “Yes, sir.”
“Do you think you could turn the key from up here? Don’t think we’re going to be able to sneak you to the island and I’m anxious to extend the view.”
Now he looked really tired and very worried.
“I can try, sir.”
“Please.”
She took a couple of deep breaths, then closed her eyes and reached out for Ruby.
You wanted me to turn the key, so here I am…trying.
As always, that initial connection hurt. She rubbed her temple for a minute and it eased a bit.
Turn the key.
Okay, she got that part. How do I turn the key?
There was a feeling of being yanked and it was as if she was in the room with the portal. She could see some of the geeks milling around and the jarhead guard looking bored, but they didn’t seem to see her. Sara looked around, though it felt like it was in slow motion. She was there, but not. She was in the system, she realized, looking at them through the monitors. There was another yank and now it felt like she was standing in the room, only now it was empty. She was in the past, though she didn’t know how she knew that. She walked up to the portal and stopped. The lock was here somewhere.
Miri had stood here, looking at the portal, trying to decide what to do. Sara felt her sorrow her heart was aching. Sara rubbed her heart, then her hands slid down to cover her stomach.
The baby.
She wanted to protect the baby.
She wanted to protect…me.
From what? Why did you leave?
Data slammed into her head.
Slow down.
She dug her fists into the side of her head. She didn’t know if she dropped to her knees or if that was what Miri had done in the past.
From a long way a way, she heard someone calling her name. Who…
Hands grabbed her shoulders and with a hard shake, she was back on the Doolittle. The colonel was crouched in front of her.
“Captain?”
“Sir?” She blinked, clearing bits of data from her gaze. She was kneeling on the floor.
“You didn’t tell me it would hurt.” He sounded grim.
“It doesn’t always hurt that much.” She rubbed her temples. “It’s trying to send me too much, too fast. I’ll adjust in a minute.”
Or it would. She wasn’t sure who did the adjusting.
He helped her to get up and sit down, then leaned against his desk, looking at her. Because he was watching, she didn’t rub her head, though she wished she could. The pain was fading, but not that fast.
“Did you do it?”
She almost shook her head, but thought better of it. She rubbed her temple, trying to make it a casual movement. “Not yet. I know more, though. They had lots of crap, weapons, ships. It’s all still all down there.”
“If they had all that, why did they leave?”
She gave him the condensed version. “They didn’t have the balls to do it again. A lot of that stuff, they built because they could. It was an intellectual exercise. They’d been buffered from the effects of their work, because they were on the outpost. When it looked like they’d have to pony up themselves and actually use it, see what it could do they couldn’t. They’d lost the ability to act.” She rubbed her face again. “They could have won it, could have stopped what came out of it then, but they didn’t.”
“And now?”
She looked at him. “I can turn it on. I know what to do.”
He hesitated, but finally nodded.
What choice did either of them have?
Sara closed her eyes again. She didn’t even have to reach out. Ruby grabbed her and yanked her back to the portal room. It didn’t hurt this time. The download must be complete. Sara walked up to the portal, as her mind processed more of the data stream she’d been sent. Everyone seemed to think Miri was the last of her people but that wasn’t right either. She’d been the last scientist. She’d left the outpost and returned to the main body of her people in their new home to report to their leader. She’d met and fallen in love with a Dusan…
Sara felt a jolt of shock. He wasn’t a Dusan. That was his name. Gaedon was his brother, the older brother and heir to the leadership, known as Gadi. Sons of the leader. Two brothers. One who wanted her, one who wanted what she could do. Miri fled them both, but when she got back, everyone was gone. They feared their own power, so they just walked through the portal into the unknown, leaving it for someone else to deal with. That’s why the place had looked abandoned and locked.
Sara felt the emptiness of the outpost again, this time with Miri’s sorrow and her loneliness…
Through her eyes, Sara watched Miri lock it all down and then step through the portal. As she left, Sara half reached out to pull her back.
Why did you have to die? I needed you. I still need you.
As Sara stared at the opening, she felt someone close.
“Ruby?” She looked around and there was Miri. Not Ruby…her mom.
“It was you all the time. You uploaded your consciousness to the systems before you left. You’re the AI.”
Miri smiled. “No, Sara. I left the imprint of myself here, but that’s all.”
“Then who did it? Who hijacked me? And launched the missiles? Who turned stuff on and off?”
“You did.”
Chapter Fifteen
Halliwell sat across from Captain Donovan, watching and waiting, not exactly sure what he was hoping would happen, or what to expect. It was probably one of the weirdest moments of his life, despite a lot of serious contenders for the top spot since they’d left the Milky Way.
Her lids covered her eyes, but he could tell her eyes moved under there. Other than that, she didn’t move at all.
At least she didn’t seem to be in any pain. She looked relaxed, almost asleep.
He sure as hell hoped they were doing the right thing. Messing with alien tech always ended badly in fiction. It would have been nice to discuss this with Emerson, but he didn’t dare. Donovan was right about one thing, if anyone had known about her abilities she’d have ended up as someone’s research project. He was walking through a moving minefield, trying to protect her a
nd protect his ship. But in the end, his ship had to come first.
Now he understood why Briggs felt so protective of her, though he probably wouldn’t call it protecting. If Miri was at all like Sara, he could even understand why they were still fighting over her. She must have been remarkable.
And he should have followed his initial instinct and left her ass back on earth.
Suddenly she straightened, though her eyes stayed closed.
“You need to clear our people out of the portal room, sir,” she said, suddenly. “I’m almost ready.”
He quickly got on the radio and gave the order. “Let me know when the room is clear.” After a few minutes he got the word. “It’s clear, Donovan.”
Would she hear him? Could she hear him? She rose from her chair, her eyes still closed. Suddenly her eyes opened and her head tipped back. Her whole body stiffened. Golden beads of light emerged from her skin, like ants swarming on a hill.
“Hotel sierra…”
Even as he spoke a bright flash shot out of her chest like a fountain of light. The light surged up into a tornado shaped stream, then rained down, spreading across the floor and up the walls, before sinking out of sight.
“Oh crap.”
Just as abruptly as it started it stopped. Donovan stood there for a moment, then her eyes rolled back in her head and her knees buckled. He jumped and caught her before she hit the floor. He lowered her down, feeling for a pulse. Was damn relieved to find one. At least it hadn’t stopped her heart this time.
“Sir?” It was the bridge officer on the radio. “Something happened to our tracking. You need to come see this.”
“I’ll be right there.” He looked at Donovan. Should he call for a medical team? “Captain?”
Her lids lifted slowly. “Sir?”
“Are you all right?”
She nodded. She didn’t look it.
“Do you think you can get up? I need to get to the bridge. Something on our tracking—”
She took his hand and let him pull into a sitting position, then all the way to standing.
“You should sit down.”
“I’m fine, sir.” She looked at him. “The outpost is extending your view. Look.”
A HUD appeared in front of him. He could see the whole galaxy now.